


Bandaids

by Between_A_Dream



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Family, Self Harm, WayHaught romance, WynHaught brotp, mentions of abuse, mentions of depression, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 95,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Between_A_Dream/pseuds/Between_A_Dream
Summary: Nicole is Purgatory's town outcast. Waverly is the small town good girl. And Wynonna... Well she was always around, always looking questionable enough that she could easily be in trouble. And as Nicole grows closer with the sisters they learn to help each other move past wounds that had long been forgotten.





	1. Not Superstitious

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Purgatory is pretty much the same, but it's a real world AU so there's no magic or demons or monsters. This will probably be long and will definitely involve some WayHaught slowburn, and some WynHaught bromance. The first three chapters will individually mention one character, and by chapter 4 there will be interactions between them. I hope you will all enjoy!
> 
> Comment below what you think please! Compliments and constructive criticism always welcome :)

Nicole's first ever drive to Purgatory was already screaming disaster in her superstitious mind. Well, she wasn't superstitious, just anxious, and that lead to superstition. But she wasn't superstitious. Really.

Her first mistake had been getting off on the wrong exit, which took her an extra half hour out of her way before she could get back on a correct route. Her car broke down- Not just once, but TWICE- And both times she was left stranded for around an hour until someone could come and fix it. Nicole wasn't surprised that it had broken down- She was driving a 1968 Dodge Charger that had belonged to her grandfather, and while the car was in good condition it was now over 40 years old and she expected to someday have car trouble. But any other day would've been much easier.

She wasn't superstitious, but her anxiety often consumed her to the point where she believed in the bad luck of black cats and breaking mirrors. Not simply because that's just how the legends went, but her mind actually took the time to weave together an intricate web of "what if"'s and "but maybe"'s until she was so stressed that she developed the fear of items labeled to be bad luck, simply out of response to her brain's irritating tendency to worry her over nothing.

Even as a kid, Nicole always struggled with anxiety. It wasn't a trait she showed people, because that showed weakness and she wasn't going to let anyone think she was weak. So instead she bottled her anxiety and her nerves away until she learned to ignore them almost entirely, or at least not let them control her.

The auburn haired woman managed to get her car pulled along the side of the road the second time it broke down (the first time she had been stranded in the middle of the lane and had no way of moving it without a mechanic) but it was still a struggle and it still required some pushing on her part.

She understood virtually nothing of what either mechanic said to her about why a problem had occurred- All she contributed to both conversations were vague head nods and false smiles, hoping to convince them that she at least could comprehend what they were talking about. All she understood from either was to drive slower than 30 miles an hour until she could get it properly looked at.

So that was great. But of course, that was not the only problems of the day for Nicole freaking Haught. Oh no, there was of course more to come. Why wouldn't there be? Along with her new 30 mile per hour speed regulation, she was caught in a line of traffic that lasted two and a half hours, due to a three vehicle pileup on an intersection. There were times where she would've sworn on her life that she saw snails passing her car, and at a decent enough pace that Nicole would've switched positions if she could have.

In the back seat she heard whimpering and scratching, which meant that Ghost was awake. Deciding that there wasn't any chance of them moving anytime soon anyways, she decided to reach back and unlock the small cage to allow the Eskimo puppy out. He immediately jumped into her arms and she laughed as he wriggled in her arms. Ghost had been named for his unique appearance- He was white, mostly, as most American Eskimo's were, but on the tips of his fur around the outlines of his body were shades of light grey that gave his white fur a mystic look to it, and when in brightly lit areas it appeared that he was glowing.

But of course, not fifteen seconds after she had unlocked the cage, the cars in front of Nicole started moving at a normal pace, and her eyes went wide.

"Did taking you out of there activate the magic words?" she questioned, looking the dog in the face. He stared back with his bright but small pink tongue hanging out slightly, panting as he looked at her. Sighing she turned back around to put him back in the cage, which would've been easy if it weren't for the consistent stream of car horns sounding behind her.

"Hey bitch, move your car!"

"Why don't you make me asshole?" she probably shouldn't have yelled back, because in response the cars behind her started driving around her as quickly as they could.

"No no no!" she hissed, quickly fastening Ghost's cage and sitting back up in her seat. When she looked back up her lane was once again backed up, and she groaned loudly, letting her head fall to the steering wheel and not bothering to worry about the fact that she was holding down the car horn. She looked back up only when the noise started giving her a headache, and she swore she saw the same snail pass her again. "He has actually looped us at this point," Nicole grumbled, looking back in the mirror at the small bundle of fur sitting peacefully in his cage.

When the traffic had finally cleared up, Nicole tried to tell herself that nothing else could possibly go wrong. It was only a seven hour drive from her hometown to Purgatory, which may have seemed like a lot, but the annual trip that her family had taken every year since she was four consisted of seven full days of road trips across the country, so seven hours to Nicole was a piece of cake. Or, if she was being honest, the whole damn cake, because she was also alone. No fighting parents in the front, no snoring grandparents in the back, no cramped space between her older twin siblings in the middle, she was alone in her own car, making her own life for herself.

After some time had passed and things still had yet to go wrong since the traffic incident, she let her guard down a hair and decided she hated the silence that surrounded her. Silence didn't bother her very often, but when she had way to break it and it was forced, she tended to feel the urge to make noise in any way she could. She plugged in her phone and hit shuffle on her playlist, smiling and letting out a relaxed sigh as a cover of the song "Rhiannon" came on.

She took advantage of the moment of peace to gather her thoughts together and think about her near future.

She had graduated high school already possessing the knowledge that she wanted to be a police officer. It had been her dream for quite some time by then, and her family was split in their decision. Ross and Nora, being ever supportive as they often were, practically threw her a party in La Muse.

La Muse was the name of the van they had saved up for and bought together. They both spoke fluent French after spends a year studying abroad in college where they had picked up the language easily before dropping out and deciding to come back home to start a band and follow their passion for music.

Despite the fact that there was no way different gendered twins could be identical, they shared more in common than any identical twins Nicole had ever met in her life. Both were party goers, both loved to break the rules, and both were crazy good at music and music technicalities. Good to the point where they had the entire van turned into an amplifier system for their instruments, complete with working technology, outlets for their instruments and microphones, and a special reserved space for Artie, Ross's long-term boyfriend and sound wizard.

Nicole honestly wondered how he managed to combine a laptop and a keyboard to generate any instrument, sound effect, or auto tune. He and Ross had been dating since Nicole was 12, making both him and Nora 16. He'd always been exceptionally nice to her and she had given her immediate approval after he bought her ice cream the day they met. Being gay tended to run in their generation of Haught family members- Along with herself and both her older twin siblings (Well technically Ross was bisexual, but to her parents there was gay and there was straight and you couldn't have lines between, which made Ross's coming out even harder than Nora's or her own) two of their similar aged cousins were also gay, and one was transgender.

It wasn't that her parents didn't accept it... It was moreso they just didn't understand. They couldn't comprehend why a woman would want to be with another woman over a man, or vice versa, and while no one in her family ever felt the need to really hide their sexuality, they definitely didn't flaunt it. Nora still had yet to bring a girl home, simply because she had seen how her parents treated Artie when Ross had first introduced them. They were polite enough, but the spoke in strained tones and with forced, tense smiles. Even after they continued their relationship, Artie was never really welcome in their home. He was never truly  _unwelcome_ either, but when he was around it was painstakingly obvious that their attempts to accept him were just that. Half hearted attempts.

While Nicole didn't see much of her extended family very often, they stayed in touch often enough for her to catch up on their lives every once in awhile, normally through Facebook. Her cousins all had generally easygoing parents and Nicole remembered when she was younger she spent much of her time with her laid back extended family. It felt nice, even if it only lasted for a few hours, to be around people who were so willing to go along with whatever happened and who trusted their children to make their own mistakes or choose their own paths.

Her parents, on the other hand, along with their not so hidden opinions on the LGBT, were much stricter and had different opinions of her choice in career. She swore they knew before she told them, because as soon as the words left her mouth she was met with a list the length of the Golden Gate Bridge on why she wasn't strong enough or prepared enough or mentally capable of being in such a demanding career. Of course, as they always did, Nora and Ross immediately backed her up and encouraged her to follow her desire no matter what. While her choice did subject her to some teasing about being the good girl, they were nothing but supportive and they shielded her from their parent's outbursts.

Her grandpa Felix had been thrilled as well, but her grandmother Elizabeth was immediately against the idea, and it had led to a serious argument between the two that hadn't ended until Ross had actually stepped between them and ended it for them. It hadn't been physical, but there was a lot of yelling and they used some interesting vocabulary that only made her and her siblings chuckle.

All in all, Purgatory was going to be good for the auburn haired woman. It was a small town, small enough that it could actually fit inside her own hometown, and while that possibly meant small minded people it also hopefully meant small crime rates and small amount of people she had to know.

She had met Sheriff Nedley over video chat after her graduation, after the two had been contacting each other courtesy of Nicole's academy leader providing her with the information to reach him, knowing she wanted a more local job. He'd hired her quickly, saying she was "cop material" in his eyes, and had informed her that she would be welcomed into the community. She was also eventually told that one of her tests would be to make friends with some locals, if only to make her feel more comfortable.

Rookies were normally sent to low level crime zones anyways, but she had reviewed Purgatory's files and there was almost nothing. The most serious crimes involved driving too fast through the town center or bar fights between drunken idiots.

The only bar in town was called Shorty's, and it really put into perspective that the town was small enough that the entirety of its population lived close enough to only require a single bar. Nicole assumed that that's where she would be spending a majority of her time when she wanted to go out, because Purgatory was surrounded by nothing but barren road for a full hour in any direction you could drive in.

Being gay in such a small town was probably not going to be very easy at first, and she was positive there wouldn't be anyone else in town who most likely even knew what the LGBT was, or if there were they wouldn't be very approving. It was a redneck town, but Nicole had grown up in a town quite similar to Purgatory, the main difference being size, but the dynamic nearly identical.

As Nicole continued her drive, she let herself get so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see the small bundle of black fur rush out in front of her car until it was nearly too late. Throwing her foot down hard on the brake, and silently thanking whichever one of the mechanics told her to drive under 30 miles an hour, she managed to stop without feeling her car run over a bump.

After taking a moment to make sure the car, herself, and Ghost were all okay, she stepped out of the car to investigate. Curled up into a small bundle and sitting just barely out of reach from the car, was a tiny black kitten with an impossibly small white patch of fur on the tip of it's tail.

"Really?" her question was not directed at anyone in particular, but she felt the need to ask anyway. Seeing a black cat. Great. Just what she needed, another stroke of bad luck. Again, she wasn't superstitious, but given the day she already had this was getting to be a little bit much. She watched the kitten from a distance for awhile. Despite her lack of belief in legends, her day was bad enough, and she didn't need any help making it more stressful. She decided to approach the kitten only when she saw it lick its paw a few times and mewed innocently.

"Hey there little one," Nicole cautiously leaned down and scooped the kitten into her arms, watching as it opened its eyes to reveal a brilliant shade of icy blue. The auburn haired woman was surprised, as she'd never seen a black cat with eyes any other color than green or off yellow. The kitten mewed quietly and pawed at her chest, and Nicole felt her heart melt.

She had often been the subject of teasing from her siblings when it came to her love for animals, and she had been denied permission to volunteer at a local animal shelter by every member of her family, simply because they all possessed the knowledge that if Nicole were given any opportunity to do so she would bring any animal home that she found.

"Do you have an owner?" Nicole had long had a habit of talking to animals. Of course they couldn't respond with words, but she always felt like they understood her anyways, or at least could feel the emotion she poured into her words. As if to respond, the kitten tilted it's head slightly to the side and mewed again, pawing curiously at a loose strand of red hair that had managed to escape her French braid, most likely during the almost crash.

"Talk about coming up roses there, huh buddy," she laughed, sitting down in front of her car. Normally she would've worried about another car driving by, but it had been two hours since she had seen even another sign that other human life still existed and she wasn't complaining. She scratched the bundle of black fur behind the ear until it was purring loudly, and only then did she take the chance to move the kitten's tail to check the gender. Boy.

It was well decided by now by the ginger that she was keeping the cat. The biggest challenge she faced now was coming up with a name. Ghost got along easily enough with other animals, from what she'd seen, so that wouldn't be an issue. He was still young anyway, and if he didn't like the kitten he could learn to appreciate their newest companion.

"How about Bonavento?" the name, which she remembered meant good fortune, left a sour taste in Nicole's mouth as it left her lips, and seemingly in agreement, the kitten mewed disapprovingly with a low grumble in his throat.

"Yeah, I don't like it either," she agreed. She wondered if there was some possible metaphor she could name the kitten after. He had avoided an accident, managed to survive sitting in the middle of the road mere millimeters away from her car.

"Dante? You seem pretty faithful," she suggested, tilting her head to the side. Seeing as how the name had come out like a question rather than an offer, she quickly shook her head and spared the cat from having to "answer".

The police officer sat in question, her mind racing with possible names for her new friend. As he pawed at her necklace, she started running through a list of Latin names that she knew, and she grinned when the kitten managed to unlock the small locket charm on the necklace. Inside was a picture of Ross on one side and Nora on the other.

"Aren't you a clever little thing," she giggled, closing the locket and picking the kitten up to look into it's eyes. "Hmm... Clever..." Nicole swore she knew a Latin name that meant clever. After wasting a full three minutes trying to remember she begrudgingly opened her phone to search the name for herself. "Cato, that's right," she grumbled to herself, upset that she couldn't remember. As a girl she and Nora had spent much of their time learning different pieces of as many languages as they could. Neither were fluent in any of them, save for Nora's French, but Nicole knew bits and pieces of Latin, Spanish, Italian, and a tiny sliver of Japanese.

"Well, what do you think buddy? Do you like Cato?" Nicole asked, holding the bundle of fur up again to look at him in question. In response, the cat flicked his thin tail forward and touched Nicole under the chin. She smiled and nodded. "Cato it is. Welcome to the Haught family little guy," the ginger officer stood as she spoke, realizing she had to get moving if she were to reach Purgatory by daylight. She had hoped to reach her apartment before morning so she could get settled in, but after waiting in traffic for a good two and a half hours there was no longer any way she would make that time. Popping her trunk and grabbing the spare cage she had brought for Ghost, she wondered if it was some kind of fate for her to find the kitten.

Ghost had outgrown the cage in his first few weeks of being with Nicole, and she had only been his owner for a total of two months, but she couldn't bear to part with it and had kept it in case of an emergency or if something happened to his current cage. It was too small for him, not to the point where he wouldn't fit, but small enough that he could not comfortably move around, and it was better than not having any backup at all. Cato, however, was a perfect fit in the cage, and he quickly made himself at home behind the small metal barriers.

"Alright guys, this is it," Nicole was more trying to convince herself than anything, but talking as if she was trying to console the animals like they actually had emotions and concerns about moving to Purgatory gave her the confidence to at least keep driving until she reached the town. Whether or not she would have the courage to stay would have to be determined with time.

* * *

Maybe it was by some utter miracle. Maybe finding Cato actually brought her some good luck. Or maybe she had been given such a string of misfortune that the universe decided to spare her, or at the very least pity her. Whatever it was, Nicole somehow managed to make it into Purgatory by 11:30 P. M. While that was later than she had hoped for when she still thought getting to Purgatory by nightfall was a probability, it was night and she had enough time to meet her landlord face to face, a much better alternative to her previous concern that she would have to sleep in her car. Though, sleeping in the apartment wasn't exactly a guarantee yet either.

They had talked before on video chat and Nicole had to admit she was slightly nervous because she didn't officially have the apartment yet- Emily had wanted to wait to sign until they met in person which she totally understood- But after they met and talked over regulations once more Emily seemed to be impressed. Nicole mentioned that she was excited for her new job at the police station, and it was that sentence that got her the apartment on the spot. Not that Emily probably wouldn't have given it to her anyway, but it was a relief to know that her landlord was supportive of her career. Overall, the regulations weren't very strict, they mostly consisted of making sure there weren't any crazy parties or sex rituals (Yes Emily had used those words and while Nicole had laughed at the start the look on her face confirmed that she was serious.)

It was 1:00 A.M. when Nicole was satisfied with her apartment. The living room consisted of a white, soft leather couch as well as a matching love seat, a small coffee table and a TV amounted to the wall. The kitchen was small but cozy enough for one person, including a fridge, a few cabinets, some counter space, an oven and a sink. The rest of the apartment were bedrooms and one bathroom, but one was the master and two were guests, one of which had been turned into more of what appeared to be a set up for a home office.

After a bit of decorating and some personalization, Nicole slumped down on the couch, letting out a sigh of relief. It may not have been much, but it did feel like home to her. She closed her eyes and attempted to let herself get a few moments of rest when a small weight landed on her chest. Blinking her eyes open she came face to face with Cato staring into her eyes.

"Hey there little guy," she laughed and pulled him off her chest, setting him down next to her an pulling her laptop up onto her legs. She did a quick google search and was relieved to find that Purgatory did indeed have a veterinarian clinic, though it was not actually in town and was a half hour drive north of Purgatory, but they still considered themselves as part of the isolated town simply because they were the closest. After some quick searching Nicole scheduled an appointment for Cato set on Saturday. After double checking to see the appointment was set and scheduled, she closed the laptop and let out a loud yawn.

Ghost seemed to understand the gesture because he nuzzled her hand with his nose and curled up under her touch. Cato jumped up to the top of the couch and curled up comfortably next to her head, and Nicole could only laugh as she let herself drift into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	2. Reminisce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly Earp is not the small town sweet heart. She's not a bucket of sunshine and rainbows. She's not a big ball of innocence that deserved to be protected at all costs. In fact, there's something much darker inside her that somehow seems to claw its way out from the most secluded parts of her memory on a daily basis, if for no other reason than to remind her of the blame she thinks she deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I honest to god did not expect to have this chapter up so soon but I literally still haven't slept since 12 hours before posting chapter one, so I hope you enjoy the chapter. This one is pretty heavy guys, lots of death, abandonment, and cancer. If anyone has trouble with reading anything like this please please PLEASE
> 
> For your mental health
> 
> Don't try to force yourself to read this. If you can read this, I hope you enjoy the look into Waverly's past.
> 
> Also sorry this one is a bit shorter but Nicole has a lot of her own history while Waverly and Wynonna's pasts are obviously intermingled so that's why this one is a bit shorter because there are other sides to some of these memories
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Despite the fact that being with Champ Hardy provided her with a safety net and an excuse not to have to worry about what people thought because no one would dare insult the rodeo king's girlfriend, even behind her back, when she broke off their relationship of four painstakingly long and stressful years, Waverly Earp felt better than she had in forever. She felt free, relieved that she finally didn't have to worry about pregnancy scare every time Champ wouldn't wait for her to get protection, or sit in constant question of her love for him by trying to force herself to figure out what she saw in him. Because the answer had been in front of her the entire time.

_Nothing._

Constant concocted lies and stories she had forced herself to believe in order to prove to herself that she loved Champ aside, she saw nothing in him. She couldn't stand the way he kissed her like property, the way he called her his like he owned her, the way he would show off to his buddies just because he could and because Waverly was expected to oblige. That was her role, wasn't it? Innocent, sweet little Waverly.

She couldn't go a week without being complimented on her kind heart, or her warm friendly smile, or her hospitality, things of the like. No one saw past her walls, and while she wished that someone would finally realize that no one was this happy all the time, realize that no one would go so long without their mood ever faltering, she was more scared of the response she would receive when they saw what was behind the mask, and because of this she was grateful that no one was smart enough to guess or at least, no one was brave enough to say it if they knew.

Honestly, the innocence she was so well known for had been lost long ago, long before Wynonna's return from England and before Champ Hardy. In the span of a few months, six year old Waverly lost all her sense of light and life before she could understand what was happening. Willa had cancer, had since she was younger than Waverly herself. Of course, for the first few years, things weren't so bad. She lost her hair due to chemotherapy, but to Waverly she was still beautiful.

* * *

The hospital bills never stopped coming, and soon neither did the fights between her parents. It became a daily occurrence in the Earp sisters' lives to hear their parents screaming,

Then one day, the two younger Earp girls came home from school, their dad following them through the door. Willa lay motionless as usual on the couch, injected with four or five different I.V.'s. It honestly made Waverly sick to her stomach to see her sister in such a state, no matter how common it had become.

"Wendy?" Ward called out, waiting to see the woman make her way down the stairs like she normally did when they arrived home from school. But what was different was that their mom wasn't there to greet them as she often did. Instead the house was empty, and eerily silent.

"Wendy?" Ward called to his wife, and he made his way up the stairs. When he saw their bedroom, he fell to his knees in shock. The room was now barren of her possessions- Her clothes, her jewelry, even her perfume- And the only remaining shred of evidence that she had ever even existed in the house lay in a short, two sentence note taped up on the wall directly opposite the door.

"Ward, I can't take it anymore- I'm leaving. You can keep the kids."

With those two sentences, those thirteen words, everyone's world was torn apart. Their father had no way of paying hospital bills for Willa alone, and there was nowhere in town he hadn't already worked at and been fired from. That was the first night the youngest Earp sister had ever seen her father cry. She didn't even think he could, because he always put on a brave face, no matter what news he faced about Willa's condition or what the cost would be for treatment.

That night, while Wynonna and her father had sat downstairs talking in quiet hushed tones about how they would pay for Willa's treatments, going so far as to suggest that Wynonna herself, though only 12, attempt to get a job, Waverly stood upstairs, staring into the bedroom that just hours ago her mother still shared with her father. She was cautious as she made her way inside, and she walked to her mom's dresser, once littered in makeup, hair products, and, in more recent years, different medications for Willa. She took the time to open each drawer slowly, her thin fingers trembling as she silently prayed each time that maybe her mom had just forgotten one thing, one little reminder that the young girl could hold on to.

In the third drawer, Waverly saw nothing, but as she moved to push it back into place she noticed a slightly misaligned strip of wood covering the base. Tiptoeing to the top of the stairs to make sure that Wynonna and their dad were still talking, she made her way back to the drawer and pulled the lose plank out of place. Underneath was something Waverly couldn't quite make out, so she reached down and pulled at the object inside. It felt like fabric, and when she pulled it completely out of the drawer to hold it up she realized it was a dress.

It was a simple design really, a long sleeved dress the color of the night sky, with glitter trailing in patterns over the fabric. It felt soft and comforting in Waverly's hand, but she knew that the dress wasn't her mother's and was too big to fit herself. Looking back in the drawer she found a note, again in her mother's handwriting. Next to the note was what appeared to be a printed version of an email, and Waverly recognized the logo at the top as the hospital they spent so much of their time in when Willa got her treatments.

"To Willa. May you pass peacefully through the stars."

The note was short and a large enough font that Waverly could read the words without much of a struggle- She had always excelled in school anyways and reading had come easily to her- But the paper with the email was harder to read due to the longer words and smaller text size. But as her eyes trailed down the page, she found a small, highlighted section she could manage to read.

"We are terribly sorry, but we regret to inform you that [i.g. patient- Willa Earp]'s treatments are showing negative reactions to the radiation therapy. The cancer has spread throughout the rest of her body, and we are not entirely sure how much time she has left."

Willa had died three days later, wearing the dress that Waverly found in her mother's drawer. She kept the hospital's email a secret, but she showed both Wynonna and her dad the note written by her mother. Without the notice explaining that Willa's treatment showed failing results and that her cancer was growing more aggressive by the day, the note didn't make as much sense to them, but Waverly sat patiently and watched Wynonna and their dad help Willa into the dress. It was a struggle because she had lost most of her motor functions, and moving was incredibly difficult for the girl, but eventually they managed to make it work.

But then, days later, Willa died in her sleep, and what was worse was that Waverly had been the one to discover her- And she didn't even know the difference. She sat by her sister's deceased body, unaware that she was no longer breathing, because she was so used to seeing Willa in this type of sedative state that she didn't know the difference between it and death. Wynonna was the one who noticed something was wrong when she realized the saline fluids had stopped flowing. Immediately alerting her dad, she had rushed into the living room and quickly checked her pulse. He couldn't feel it at first, but he kept trying and trying until he had checked every pulse point in her body. None of them gave even the slightest hint at a heartbeat.

Ambulances rushed to the homestead in a flock like Waverly had never seen before. Paramedics flew through the door and Ward sat crying hysterically as he clutched the cold hand of his daughter. After an examination, it was determined that Willa had died roughly two hours prior to Waverly discovering her body. Two hours. She had been dead for a full two hours, and Waverly couldn't even tell the difference because of what she had watched cancer do to her eldest sister.

The young brunette was at an age where although she understood she would never see Willa again, she didn't understand what death really meant. That didn't matter much, because all she needed to know was the prior information. Willa was gone, never to be seen again. Never again would she sit in her room at night, reading her bedtime stories until she fell asleep. Never again would she watch in awe as Wynonna and Willow built a fort of pillows and blankets for just the three of them to spend the night under. Never again would she hold her and cover her ears when their parents fought. Even without Willa, they didn't have to worry about that now, because her mother was gone too.

It was the second time Waverly had ever seen her dad cry.

Wynonna didn't say anything about it, didn't even seem to be alive really, and Waverly swore she must not possess the ability to cry because her dad fell to his knees in sobs, his body shaking as his eyes spilled over with hot, salty rivers. If her dad was crying, how was Wynonna staying so straight faced? Waverly herself screamed and kicked and cried with protests that she couldn't really be gone, that there had to be a mistake. She broke a picture frame, ripped a pillow case, and eventually Wynonna broke out of her trans long enough to grab ahold of her.

"She can't be gone!" Waverly's voice cut the air like a knife and Wynonna hugged her tightly against her chest, stroking her hair, whispering quiet nothings into her ear, and rocking her back and forth to calm her down, despite the storm still raging on inside her own body.

Willa didn't get a funeral. Not really. Not the one they wanted for her, not the one she deserved. The Earp family was still a good $3,000 in debt to the hospital for treatment, and they barely had the means to buy food, let alone pay for a real funeral. So instead, Willa was cremated, her ashes carefully spread like a boarder around the homestead. Ward completed the ring at the front of the house, and he sunk to his knees, staring emotionlessly at the ground.

His eyes held a gaze that was impossible for either of his two remaining daughters to read, but Wynonna placed a hand on her father's shoulder reassuringly. Despite the constant fights between their parents, their dad had always found time for his kids. It was the one thing that Waverly couldn't hold against him. The youngest member of the Earp family slumped to the ground to stare at the small stone that bore Willa's name, birthday and death date written neatly in dark black ink.

Reaching forward, Waverly touched the stone lightly, her fingers tracing delicately over the words printed on the rock. Tears welling up in her eyes, she let her head fall and felt her dad pull her close against his chest. All she could muster the strength to do was bury her face in his shirt and cry.

Waverly had been the first to notice her father was acting strange. Wynonna was always too occupied in trying and often failing to find a job, sometimes based on age or experience, sometimes simply her last name. Sometimes a combination of the two. All throughout the week following Willa's death, there wasn't a morning Waverly could find her older sister skimming through the local newspapers, skimming over every word that could possibly lead her to a job.

When she did muster up the courage to admit her suspicion to Wynonna, they had been brushed off.

"Wave, honey, daddy's just really hurt over Willa. He'll be okay, but he's gonna need time. We all are. I promise you, he'll be okay. He's an Earp," the older sister threw her younger companion a wink and ruffled the top of her head with her hand lightly. Normal that kind of reaction would've calmed Waverly down and been enough to convince her to drop the issue, but she knew Wynonna was wrong. Sure, they were Earps, and they knew how to get through anything, but there was something different about her dad.

Of course she didn't expect him to be the same chipper man she once knew, at least not after a long process that involved the passing of time and a lot of healing. But Waverly knew her dad well enough to know he was not just hurt. There was something else. His tone, his actions, even his voice had changed, and all his words were spoken in a thick southern accent, his eyes clouded over with a glasslike film.

"But Nona, what if he does something? What if he hurts himself?" Waverly had protested, tugging again on her sister's sleeve.

"Waverly, it'll be fine, I promise," she sighed, nudging the small brunette away.

"But what if-" this time she was cut off.

"God Waverly, daddy's fine! He's hurt and we are all dealing with a lot of pain right now, everyone handles grief differently. Daddy is fine! Now please go, I have to keep looking for a job," the older girl groaned. Seeing that Wynonna wouldn't be of any use, Waverly sighed and left her sister alone. She was going to help her father, and if Wynonna wasn't going to help, she was going to do it alone.

The young girl looked out the window at the stone with Willa's name on it, and she silently begged for strength to help her dad through all that they were dealing with. Waverly held tightly to the railing as she made her way up the carpeted stairs, but as she reached the top she was immediately hit with the sensation that something wasn't right. She cautiously began approaching her parents bedroom at the end of the hallway, the door of the room only slightly ajar, just enough for a few lucky rays of light to shine through. Waverly felt her heart thrashing harder against her chest with every step she took, and even though opening the door made her feel ready to puke, she swallowed her nerves and swung the door open.

Waverly had barely a fraction of a second to process the image in front of her. Her dad was kneeled on the floor, a shotgun barrel in his mouth, tears streaking down his face. And although the gunshot went off almost immediately after she opened the door, Waverly swore she saw her father make eye contact with her, just before his eyes rolled back into his head, and the youngest Earp sister let out the loudest scream she had ever managed in her life.

* * *

Waverly sighed as she pulled on her pair of ankle high boots and a light jacket. The air had started to get colder as November approached, and she didn't want to take any chances of being cold on her way to work, let alone inside. God knew Wynonna always kept the air conditioner on, even in the winter. Without really meaning to, the youngest Earp sister let her eyes trail slowly down to the picture she kept in the corner of her mirror. She was trembling, even thinking about looking at it. Honestly it was torture, but every day Waverly couldn't let herself leave the house without reminding herself of who she had lost.

Portrayed in the picture was Wynonna, sitting in a waiting chair looking all too eager to leave the building, her eyes in mid-roll at the moment the photo was snapped, but a small happy smirk still on her lips. Even as a six year old, she took great pride in portraying herself with black, leather, and overly high boots. And there was Willa, looking healthier than Waverly had ever gotten the chance to see her as, standing on one side of the hospital bed with a warm smile on her face. She even had hair in the photo, which had been odd to see because the only engrained memories Waverly posessed of her sister included a hair-free head.

Ward stood on the opposite side of the bed, a goofy lopsided grin on his face. Waverly had never known that side of her father, but Wynonna had told her plenty of stories about how before Willa's health took a turn for the worst, their father was the funniest man she'd ever known, and could make anyone laugh about anything. It would be a lie if Waverly told herself there weren't days where she wished she wasn't born, or was at least born later in life so she wouldn't have been able to understand everything that had happened to her.

And finally there was her mother, a tired but bright grin on her lips as she cradled a newborn Waverly, who in the picture was nothing more than a bundle of pink skin and wrapped blankets. The youngest Earp sister often questioned how many moments of happiness her family had really ever had, if this picture had been the last one. If her birth, adding an extra mouth to feed, body to clothe, and child to give to, had in some way made it impossible for them to take care of Willa. Maybe she was part of the reason for Willa's death. Maybe she was the whole reason.

These kinds of thoughts definitely weren't healthy, she knew that, but she didn't really have a way to take it out, so she did her best to keep a smile on her face and hide the turmoil always boiling just under her skin. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts of her daily reminiscent of her past, she pulled her brunette hair into a semi-messy bun and sighed at her reflection.

"Waverly? Come on, we're gonna be late!" Wynonna's voice sounded from down the stairs.

"We're never late. You're the owner, you say what time your bar opens," the brunette called back her retort. Working for Wynonna, as much as the youngest Earp sister would deny it to anyone who asked, was actually a lot of fun. She enjoyed her sister's company, and betting on bar fights with the older woman hadn't gotten old yet.

"Just move your ass! I'll be in the truck, five minutes Waves or I swear I'm leaving without you!"

Waverly was well aware that her sister was serious and would leave her behind if she wasn't in the truck in exactly five minutes. She knew, because it had happened before. More than once. More than she would like to admit, if she were to be perfectly honest. Taking a last look at herself in the mirror, Waverly sighed and headed out of her bedroom.

"Just another day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? This chapter definitely took a much darker turn in regards to the last one, and Waverly has definitely grown up in a different atmosphere than Nicole.
> 
> I decided on making this chapter more choppy and let it cut from scene to scene, because this happened when Waverly was 6, and she's now 21, so of course there are going to be things she remembers and things in between that she doesn't. I felt like the choppy skips better fit the way her memories are haunting her.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you guys think, really! I love comments!


	3. Bartender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since Wynonna Earp's return to Purgatory, she bought Shorty's abandoned bar, cleaned the place up, and started her own business with Waverly as her only other employee. But even Wynonna has old memories to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a lot of inspiration for this story right now, and I hope you guys don't mind the frequent updating haha! This is the last solo character chapter, and although Waverly is mentioned a lot here the main focus is still Wynonna. Next chapter is when Nicole enters the picture, so I hope you guys are excited! :)
> 
> There is self harm in this chapter so please read with caution!!!

Wynonna gave a warm smile to Waverly as she watched her give a half wave back and make her way to the back room of the bar, most likely to listen to music. It was something she normally did before they were ready to open. She knew that the brunette spent a lot of time alone nowadays, especially since her break up with the town man-child Champ Hardy. Wynonna's taste in men was definitely... Less than ideal, and even those were the keepers for her. But Waverly was Waverly, and seeing her suck faces with the oversized idiot who had started four fights in her bar with men much older than him was enough to make her want to puke.

But, while she had always hated Champ, she knew why her baby sister had dated him. Because Champ, as arrogant and cocky as he was, unlike herself or anyone else in their remaining family, didn't look at her and remember all the horrors that had occurred in their childhood. Of course, he looked at her in plenty of other ways that Wynonna often told herself that if she were in Waverly's situation, she'd have found far worse than looks of simple concern. But she would always remind herself that she wasn't in Waverly's position and no matter how long it had been since the deaths of two of their family members and the secret departure of another, the younger girl was still distraught over everything that had happened.

Wynonna was 12 when it all went down. She was okay with it, as okay as a 12 year old could be in a time of loosing three family members in two weeks, but she saw things that Waverly never did. Her dad, while always good at executing that title, was a drunk and she'd seen him hit her mom more than once. There were memories she had of when Willa was still able to walk around and play where they would spend nights in bed together, holding each other and doing their best to convince each other that things would be okay. Waverly, only around the age of one, was far to young to understand. Neither of the older Earp sisters dared to interfere, however, because their main concern was keeping their baby sister safe. And when Willa was gone, the burden fell solely on Wynonna's shoulders.

Waverly was the one who had found Willa's dead body. She was the one who walked in on their dad's suicide, and watched him pull the trigger. She was the one who had to suffer through years of depression, blaming herself for what happened to their family. And Wynonna didn't have those experiences to deal with each night before she went to bed or each morning when she woke up.

When the news of their father's suicide reached the town, most of the towns residents had sent large checks to the girls, enough that they could not only pay off the hospital bills they still owed for Willa's treatments but also have enough extra to get a good start in anything they wanted to do. The girls ended up living with Gus and Curtis, and while it was most likely a better environment for Waverly to grow up in, with guardians who weren't constantly shouting and slamming doors or breaking things when the fights got really bad, she could tell that her sister was in constant agony.

Wynonna found her release of stress and anger was through breaking the rules, and while she would be the first to admit that she got involved in a pretty bad crowd of local vandals for a time being, she was also the first to follow up and say she didn't regret any of it, because while it had been temporary the relief and closure it gave her wasn't. She could break and throw things across rooms, write whatever slurs she wanted about her parents for leaving her, or sometimes just scream at the destruction around her.

Either way, she ended her friendship with the gang when she turned 18 and graduated high school, mostly because she could then be charged as an adult if caught vandalizing property. Although the group had been made of up mostly idiot kids around her age, they were at least smart enough to go to places that were abandoned and sometimes even outside of town. The destruction was often never found and when t was it wasn't often followed up on other than a news report warning people to remind their kids about the repercussions of property damage.

Gus encouraged Wynonna to think about attending college with the money they had saved in the bank, but she explained she didn't know what career she wanted yet and told her she didn't think leaving Waverly alone when she was still so young was a very good idea. It was only because of this reason that Gus agreed to let her stay in the house after high school, but she made her promise that within four years she had to be out and on her own. The agreement was fair enough, for the time being, and although Gus wished she could do more to motivate her eldest niece, she knew that despite all the trouble she caused, she was the only one that Waverly could truly confide in.

Waverly was 13 when Wynonna found her alone in her room, her arms dripping with pools of blood as they streaked across her pale skin. The brunette sat motionless, her arms held out at her sides as she clutched the razor so tightly in her hand that it dug into her skin.

"Shit, Waves!" Wynonna did her best to keep her voice low so as not to alert Gus. She knew if Curtis found out he would keep their secret, but their aunt would have had an absolute melt down and may have even admitted her to a psych ward.

"I'm gonna get some rags, we gotta stop these from bleeding so much," Wynonna took Waverly's balled up fist in her own and gently opened her fingers. The whimpering of the razor pulling itself out of her skin was the first reaction the younger Earp sister had shown. Wynonna took the razor with her, not trusting Waverly to be alone with it, and grabbed some black towels from the bathroom. She grabbed a few Dixie cups from the sink and filled them with warm water before making her back into the room, kneeling down and setting her arm's contaminants down beside her.

Dipping a folded corner into a cup, Wynonna began to gently dab at the blood soaked skin. Waverly avoided eye contact with her and did her best to control the tears that were forming in her eyes. Eventually she couldn't keep them back and by the time Wynonna had finished at least managing to get the cuts to start scarring over, she stopped trying. The older girl couldn't express the wave of relief that washed over her to discover the wounds were not deep and were in horizontal lines, which meant either Waverly was too young to know that vertical lines were the ones that often ended in deadly results, or she did know- And Wynonna would have had no trouble believing she did because her younger sister was as smart as they came- and she wasn't actually trying to kill herself. Either way, Wynonna avoided the topic in fear of the former being true and in case she gave Waverly any new ideas.

Seeing the tears start to fall from her cheeks, Wynonna grabbed a fresh dry towel and wiped her eyes and face gently, stroking the side of Waverly's head gently and running her fingers through the long brunette hair with her free hand.

"Shh, it's okay baby girl, I'm here," she promised, leaning up to press her lips to Waverly's forehead for a few brief moments. When the tears had subdued the older teenager resumed cleaning her arms, and not long after the only thing that remained were seven thin cuts across her wrists.

"I'm not mad at you, so if you think that please don't, because I'm not mad," Wynonna started. She watched the younger girl nod and wipe her eyes, sniffling a few times to clear her nose. She decided it was best to allow Waverly to call the shots and guide where this conversation was going to end up. "If you need to talk, I'm here. You don't have to talk about this, you can talk about anything. And if not, I have some cover up makeup I can get to make sure Gus doesn't notice these," Wynonna offered, taking one of her sister's hands in her own.

"Can... Can you just get the makeup?" her voice was hoarse and dry from crying, and it broke Wynonna's heart wide open. It was all she had to keep from crying on the spot, but instead she simply stood, pressed a chaste kiss to Waverly's forehead, and went to grab some coverup from her room.

Wynonna was ripped from her thoughts when a loud shattering sound echoed throughout the restaurant and she looked down to see a glass on the floor. She stared at it wide eyed for a few moments, shaking her head quickly to clear her mind as she bent down to start sweeping the shattered pieces of glass into a dustpan. Luckily it had only broken into a few large pieces, and there weren't many small pieces that she had to worry about escaping the broom. Not that it would have really mattered- No one was ever really behind the bar without without shoes on- But she wanted to make sure just in case.

Once she made sure the floor was clean, she attended to her usual morning routine- Turning all the chairs over to the floor, opening the blinds, making sure the taps worked correctly, etc. until she was ready to open. She popped her head back into the kitchen to alert Waverly that they were about to open, and she watched as the brunette make her way into the main area of the bar.

Wynonna didn't mind cleaning up bile off the floor when someone had too much to drink, though she usually tried to limit people when she noticed them approaching their limit, a sign which could be easily seen once their demeanor changed. Since all the customers were locals, she had memorized most of the regulars max amount of alcohol. She also didn't mind when she had to help people to their cars, where she would get a nose full of bad breath, body oder, and any alcohol they had consumed in the bar. Of course, she never let anyone drive themselves in these situations, so unless they had someone waiting to pick them up she forced her customers to wait and drink water or juice until they sobered up. She didn't even mind cleaning the bathrooms, even though they burnt her nostrils and needed done at least twice a week because of both it's intended purposes and the sexual activity that occurred inside.

No, none of that disgusted her, not in comparison to what she saw happen to her sister every day just before they opened. She would watch the young girl pull her hair up into a high ponytail, sometimes with a braid for extra flair. She would switch her shirt for a cut off short sleeve that read "Shorty's" across the tightened chest area of the garment, and she applied an extra coat of lipstick just to make sure the color was still visible. Even her voice changed to a higher pitched and slightly more ditzy version of what her real voice was.

Wynonna knew the smile on her face was fake. She knew it was tense and forced, knew how painful it was to keep it there for more than a few minutes, let alone all day. But Waverly was reluctant to open up about her past, and while the eldest Earp sibling understood, she felt sick to her stomach watching the charade she played daily just to keep up her image and avoid being asked what was troubling her.

After Waverly nodded in confirmation that she was ready, Wynonna walked up to the front doors of the bar and unlocked the door, stepping aside quickly with the knowledge that there would already be a few local drunks who waited by the door with more loyalty than some of them had to their wife's, and sure enough the second the doors were open four large men came stumbling inside.

* * *

By the end of the work day, Waverly and Wynonna were practically carrying people out the doors. They had learned over the years that in order to have everyone out by closing time they had to start their assistant walking at least fifteen minutes early. Most people weren't even drunk, or at least not drunk enough to lose coherent thought, but were more so reluctant to leave. Wynonna had always known Shorty's was a good idea for her to invest in, and while she may have fallen flat in other areas of talent, she was an exceptional bartender.

Maybe it was because of her three years spent in Europe, and the experiences she'd had in some of the most unique and interesting bars in the world. She learned tricks to make drinks faster, learned how to deal with practically any type of customer, and the most important things to learn in order to be a successful bar owner. She hadn't meant to make Waverly feel so forgotten, but as a 23 year old she couldn't stay in Purgatory her whole life, and decided to travel.

Of course she missed Waverly and the two texted each other on two days out of every year, which was their birthdays. Honestly, until she found out about Curtis's death from a heart attack, she hadn't planned on coming home. But she knew that the death of someone so important was bound to upset Waverly, and she couldn't just text her to see if was okay with loosing a fourth person to a sudden tragedy. She spent the last of the money she had received and saved from the consolation checks after her father's death on a one way plane ticket back home.

Waverly held it together better than she expected during the eulogy for Curtis, but she was well aware by the shared look between them across the small crowd of people that she was definitely forcing back tears. After Gus finished her eulogy, Wynonna did her best to avoid anyone in her family until she could sought out her sister.

After a quick search of the ground floor, the dark haired woman came to the conclusion that her sister must be upstairs. Taking in a deep breath, she quickly made her way up the stairs.

"Waves?" she called down the hallway. She waited for a response, and after a few moments she was about to turn back down the stairs before she heard a faint answer.

"In here."

Wynonna made her way down the hallway and into her sister's room, and though it had a few changes since the last time she'd been inside she was still greeted with a flood of memories. She saw her sister sitting on her bed, her head resting on her knees that were curled up to her chest.

"Long time no see eh baby girl?" Wynonna could only force a small smirk, to which the corner of Waverly's lip twitched up slightly, but she didn't answer.

"Look, I know this is tough, and I know I'm not in any position to try to pretend like I can just slip back into good ole' Purgatory unnoticed, but I want to stay. For good this time," she decided that ripping the bandage off quickly would be the best way to break the news. At this, Waverly's head shot up.

"You... You're staying?" there was a light in her sister's eyes that Wynonna hadn't seen in so long, she almost forgot Waverly had the ability to feel excitement. She gave a wide, toothy grin and nodded.

"Yeah baby girl. I'm staying." Waverly grinned and jumped up, throwing her arms tightly around her sister, both terrified that if they let go they may lose each other all over again.

"Wynonna?"

"Wynonnaaaa?"

"NONA!"

Wynonna jumped up quickly and looked around until her eyes landed on her sister.

"Wha- What? What?" she stumbled over her words, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"You okay there? You kinda looked like you were high," the brunette chuckled softly. Wynonna laughed and shook her head.

"No, just thinking I guess." It wasn't a lie, and she decided that was the only answer she really needed to give. The first thing she had done when she got back was use the rest of her money to buy Shorty's abandoned bar. She was convinced after what she had learned in Europe about bar tending that she had the skills to run her own business. Gus had advised against it, mainly because she was still in question of Wynonna's maturity, but Waverly not only convinced her that they should but the property, but had also convinced them both that she would be a good employee at the bar with her. Wynonna had agreed immediately, and even though Gus was suspicious, she reluctantly agreed to let her work at the bar.

"If you want, I could actually stay and help you clean up this time," Waverly chuckled softly. Wynonna laughed and shook her head no.

"Nah, you head home baby girl, leave me to my cleaning. It's all I've got now," though she was teasing, she slowly realized that she actually wasn't lying.

"One of these nights you're gonna have to accept some help Nona," the brunette playfully nudged her shoulder.

"Ride harder alone," Wynonna chuckled with a shrug. "Now get outta here before Gus comes banging down the door of my bar wondering where you are," she urged Waverly out the door and turned to look at the bar in front of her. The mess wasn't as bad as normal, and as usual, she started with the table tops and chairs. As she went along her way, she noticed through a window something that caught her eye.

Across the street, just outside the police station stood Sheriff Nedley, shaking hands with a tall red haired woman also in a police uniform. She assumed by the way they interacted that she was new to the force. The woman appeared to be around her age, and Wynonna made a mental note to make sure she introduced herself to the new officer.

Most of Purgatory's long time residents couldn't stand the site of Wynonna, some because of her troublemaker attitude, others simply because she wasn't afraid to tell them what she thought, even if that wasn't necessarily what they wanted to hear, so she wondered if she could manage to make friends with someone new. She may have adopted the loner look, but company was always nice and although she loved Waverly she would at least like to have one friend that wasn't her sister. She turned her attention back to the table after a few moments and as the silence became more apparent, the ticking of the clock suddenly seemed so loud that it started to give her a headache.


	4. Whipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad to see you guys are enjoying this story so far! From this chapter on the story will be mostly live action events, so I hope you continue reading and please comment your thoughts!

Nicole would have protested her orders if it weren't her third day in Purgatory and first on the job. She could tell Nedley was someone she would get along with, and though they had some differing opinions and would undoubtably end up in arguments when she was more settled into Purgatory's police force, she knew that there would be plenty of times she would be grateful to have him as her boss.

But she still couldn't help muttering his name under her breath followed by a string of curse words as she made her way into Shorty's. It was literally a two minute diagonal walk across the street, and yet Nedley had sent her to get them coffee. Of all the disrespect she had ever felt in her life, this was one of the worst.

Upon seeing the look of shock at his request, he had explained to her that he made all the rookie officers get coffee their first week, so they could have a chance to get out into the town and meet the locals. While this did nothing to lessen her anger with the sheriff, she decided it was better to go along with what he said rather than try her luck and possibly cost her a job.

When she opened the door to the bar, she almost turned around and walked back to the station to question Nedley on if the place really served coffee or not. Standing at the counter was a tall, dark haired woman who looked to be a few years older than herself, and she was cautious in her approach.

"Oh hey, you're the new rookie at the police station," Wynonna pointed out with a small laugh. It was a pointless statement to make, considering that Nicole obviously knew that and she seemed confident enough in her labeling of the red head that she obviously somehow knew as well.

"Um... Yep, that's me," Nicole let out a small nervous chuckle and almost forgot why she was there in the first place. It had been a long time since she talked to people around her age that she didn't know.

"Nice to meet you there officer. Wynonna Earp," the taller woman held out her hand over the bar and Nicole hesitated only slightly before shaking it.

"Nicole," she gave her own name, and a wave of confusion hit her when Wynonna raised her eyebrow in question, as if she expected more.

"Nicole Haught," it took her only a few seconds longer than it should have for her to realize Wynonna wanted her last name as well. The bartender let out a laugh and nodded.

"Your name does not lie," Nicole wasn't sure if Wynonna was being serious or not, so she simply laughed nervously in response. "How is it spelt?"

Instead of giving Wynonna an answer, she handed her one of the small business cards with her name and phone number listed on it that Nedley had gifted her with the previous night.

"Oh, uh... Can I get two cappuccinos to go?" she asked quickly after the silence lasted a moment too long and she remembered why she was in the bar in the first place.

"Ah, Nedley's keeping up with his routine I see," she chuckled. "Hey Waverly!" she shouted towards the back room. The younger Earp sister emerged from the door quickly.

"What's up?" she asked, her tone chipper. It took a few brief moments for Waverly to look at the officer standing on the opposite side of the bar, and she offered a friendly smile. Wynonna was quick to notice the difference in Waverly's typical "Hi I hate my job and my life but I will smile so you think I'm normal" smile and what she had just done to Nicole. That was something that while she couldn't quite read definitely held a deeper meaning.

"Uh, Officer Haught here needs two cappuccinos to go, so while I go work the machine can you stay out here?" Wynonna broke the silence before it stretched.

"Yeah, yeah no problem," Waverly laughed a slight bit and Nicole kept her eyes from looking anywhere but directly at the brunette in front of her.

"So, you're new to Purgatory I'd assume?" while the question was more of an obvious observation than anything else, Nicole hadn't expected this gorgeous stranger to actually make conversation, so she stumbled a bit in her answer.

"Oh, uh... Y-Yeah, just moved in," she answered with a nervous laugh, her cheeks sporting a light pink tinge. Waverly let out a laugh as well and nodded.

"I didn't catch your first name there Officer Haught," there was something about the way that Waverly said her name like that- Somewhere between a playful tease and a mysterious curiosity- That sent shivers down her spine, and she swore that the moment their eyes met she felt her breathing hitch. She blinked a few times to clear her thoughts and give herself an excuse to look away so she had enough strength to answer.

"Nicole," she nodded as she spoke her name, feeling a bit ridiculous for the added gesture of confirmation, but she felt her nerves relieve themselves slightly when she saw Waverly let out a giggle.

"Well nice to meet you Nicole, I'm Waverly Earp, younger sister and designated pest to Wynonna," Waverly outstretched her hand and Nicole wasted no time in shaking it.

"I'm sure you're not a pest," the compliment left both girls blushing, but before either could say anything else the backdoor opened and Wynonna walked out holding two cappuccinos in her hands.

"Here ya go Officer, make sure you let Nedley know that I say treat you right, I need some goddamn friends in this town," she ordered as she handed the cups to the ginger in a cup holder.

"Wow, we've only just met and we're already friends," Nicole teased with a small ounce of confidence. Wynonna chuckled and Waverly looked down at her feet with a small grin on her lips, and after a final look between the Earp sisters Nicole tipped her Stetson to the pair before exiting the bar and heading back over to the station.

"I presume by the look on your face you've met the Earp girls," Nedley's voice turned Nicole's attention to her boss sitting at the front desk.

"The fact that they own the bar aside, is it that obvious?" the auburn haired woman laughed, handing him his cup of coffee.

"Well you definitely wouldn't have that confused but interested look on your face if you'd just met Wynonna, and there's no way you managed to meet Waverly without meeting them both, so you've clearly met both and are both intrigued and curious as to the past that they have in the town," it was as if Nedley could read her mind and she gave a slow nod, taking a sip of her own coffee.

"Well, Wynonna's got a bit of a history with the law," why didn't that surprise her, "And Waverly... She's a sweetheart, but most people around here know that she's got some baggage. No one's that chipper 24/7. At least she wised up enough to part ways with that troublemaker Champ," Nicole already had a list of questions, but she ultimately decided that she would prefer to ask the Earp girls themselves before she believed anything that anyone else had to say about them. She knew how small town rumors went, and she was not about to listen to any of them until she had confirmation or denial from the sisters.

* * *

Nicole let out a sigh as she walked into Shorty's for the second time that day. She was glad to see it wasn't packed- It was only her first day on the job and she had spent it attempting to work on some low stress paperwork for Nedley, but it seemed as if the other few police officers that actually worked in the station had never seen a woman in a uniform before.

From start to finish she had been doing her best to block out their comments. Some were sexual and some were sexist, but overall they were just plain annoying. She didn't bother telling Nedley because seeing as how he had practically hired her before they had even met, he was obviously aware that very few people were actually willing to stay in Purgatory and work for the police, so as long as her co-workers were aware that they were still guaranteed a job no matter what they did it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

"Wow, one day in Purgatory and you've already got the "I just had ten years shaved from my life" look," a familiar voice teased and Nicole looked up to see Wynonna smirking at her across the bar. The red head groaned and let her head fall to the counter in agreement.

"Is it that rare for a woman to be a police officer?" she hadn't really meant to ask it out loud, but she was in too bad a mood to care enough to regret the decision afterwards.

"Honey, Purgatory is the very definition of patriarchy city. Enjoy your stay," Wynonna chuckled. "Want a drink?" Nicole lifted her head to deny the offer.

"Can't have alcohol in uniform," she gestured to her outfit and the bartender nodded with a cocky grin.

"And yet I see your uniform isn't exactly up to standard dress code, now is it Officer Haught?" the older woman gestured to the top of Nicole's shirt, where she left the top two buttons undone, and her face flushed red.

"Well... I just-" Nicole stumbled over her words looking for an excuse until Wynonna laughed and set down a beer in front of her.

"If those idiots that work for Nedley have kept their job for this long, I promise you have nothing to worry about," she winked and Nicole shot her a grateful look before taking a sip. She really wasn't a fan of beer, she never had been, but she enjoyed the burn in her throat that took away some of the pain in her head.

"Hey there Earp," a loud, arrogant sneer sounded out loudly across the bar and Nicole saw Wynonna's expression change from relaxed to annoyed and slightly pissed in a matter of .5 seconds. She turned to see a young boyish looking man walk confidently across the room and he leaned against the bar with a cocky, lopsided grin on his face.

"Get out of my bar Champ," Wynonna ordered, handing another beer to a customer a few seats away from Nicole's own.

"Awe come on, don't be like that. How about you gimme a beer?" Champ continued and Nicole actually started to fear for the guy's life by the way Wynonna looked at him.

"I don't have to serve you shit, now get out of my bar," she repeated herself.

"I'm a payin' customer, you can't refuse to serve me," he shot back.

"Well my memory that recalls you starting three fist fights in here says I can, and my good friend here agrees with me, right Officer Haught?" Wynonna reached over the bar and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and for the first time Champ turned his attention to the ginger sitting beside him.

"Yeah, unfortunately three fights is enough to refuse service, paying or not," Nicole had no idea if that was true- It probably wasn't- But Champ either bought it or realized that getting into it with an officer wasn't the best idea because he sighed pushed himself up off the bar.

"Well is Waves here at least? I wanna talk to her," at the mention of Waverly, despite not knowing his relation to her, a shockwave of dislike for the man washed over Nicole.

"Waverly got sick and went home early, and Gus is there so don't you even dare think about stepping a foot inside that house," Wynonna's tone changed from an annoyed snap to an actual snarl. He rolled his eyes but after a stare down from the bartender he seemed to give up.

"Let Waverly know I stopped by!" he called as he walked out the doors.

"Nope!" Wynonna shouted her response back and presumed to wipe down the counter where he had been resting.

"Who was that?" Nicole couldn't hide the disgust in her voice.

"Champ freaking Hardy. He and Waverly dated for like, five years, but luckily a month ago she finally wised up and got the balls to tell asshole to his face that she was done. Poor girl still can't get away from him, even now," Wynonna spoke with annoyance laced in her tone, and Nicole felt an instant sense of needing to protect the younger Earp sister from him, accompanied by the sickening knowledge that the innocent girl she had met earlier that day had been with him for so long, kissing him and most likely doing other not safe for work activities as well.

"Do us all a favor and arrest him. Even if he isn't doing anything, please. Plant drugs in his car or something. Give yourself a black eye and blame him. Bust a headlight. Anything that would rid this town of that boy-man," the auburn haired woman couldn't truly tell if Wynonna was joking or not, and for some reason she wasn't sure if she cared, because if she was being perfectly honest, Nicole suddenly would have been all to happy to do any one of those things.

* * *

Nicole sighed loudly as she walked into her apartment, but she couldn't contain her smile as she was greeted instantly by two small bundles of fur pawing at her feet.

"Hey there," she chuckled, bending down to pet both Ghost and Cato on the head. After a few moments of letting her companions release some of the stress she was feeling, she made her way back to her bedroom and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. She curled up on the couch with Ghost sitting by her side and Cato in her lap, turning on her tv and flipping to a cooking channel. She sat unmoving until she felt her phone buzz beside her and the screen lit up with a text message.

"Hey, thank you."

As she read the message, her nose scrunched up in confusion as she unlocked her phone and opened the messenger app.

"Um... You're welcome? Who's this?"

"Oh, right I'm sorry. It's Waverly."

Another text came in a moment later.

"Earp."

Nicole felt a small smile tug at the corner of her lips at Waverly feeling the need to specify her last name and she quickly added Waverly's number as a contact before responding.

"Well Waverly Earp, I'd say you're welcome, but I'd have no clue as to what I was being thanked for. Also, just out of curiosity, how did you get my number? Not that I'm complaining."

Suddenly the red head found herself craving a reply and her smile only expanded to a large grin as she got an answer.

"Right, sorry, Wynonna gave it to me, from your card this morning. Sorry, my common sense can be a unicorn sometimes. And thank you for stepping up to Champ, she told me what happened."

Nicole smiled at the text, then felt her eyebrow raise in confusion.

"Oh, it's no problem at all. He doesn't seem like a very nice guy. By the way, I hope you feel better, Wynonna told me you went home sick :( And did you just call your common sense a unicorn?"

"Oh god I'm literally making such a fool of myself and I'm freaking texting. I just meant like unicorns don't exist, and sometimes neither does my common sense. E.g., comparing the two in the first place. And thanks, I'm feeling better now, I think it was just a bug."

The officer felt her heart melt at the way she could just picture Waverly blushing madly, but she did her best to push the thought out of her mind. Obviously the petite brunette was just grateful that someone other than Wynonna stood up to her ex, and was sweet natured.

"You're only a fool because how do you know unicorns don't exist?"

Despite the warning signs her brain were screaming at her against teasing, she couldn't resist.

"What?"

"Well I'm just saying. Have you ever _seen_ a unicorn?"

"No..."

"And can you see air?"

"No?"

"But the air is still there, right?"

"Right..."

"So how do you _know_ that unicorns just don't let themselves be seen by humans? Or maybe it's just you and all of us have our own pet unicorns that we keep hidden specifically from you ;)"

Nicole could feel the heat burning in her cheeks as she texted her brunette companion, but her smile never faltered.

"Well Officer Haught, you show me a unicorn someday and I'll give you free coffee for a year."

"Only a year? Miss. Earp, I do hate to inform you, but unicorns are worth more than merely a year of coffee."

"Alright, how about a lifetime?"

"Now that's more like it."

"You and Wynonna must get along great."

Nicole let out an actual laugh at the text and shook her head, still giggling as she typed her reply.

"Well I'm sure we would get along just fine as well ;) Anyways, as much as I've enjoyed our conversation, I have work tomorrow, so can I text you later?"

"Oh god, yeah I'm so sorry to text you so late! I just really wanted to tell you thank you for standing up to Champ. Really. It meant a lot."

"Not a problem Waverly. It was nice talking to you, goodnight :)"

"Goodnight _Officer Haught_  ;)"

Nicole set her phone down and let out a loud breath she didn't realize she had been holding, clutching her phone to her chest. She looked down at Ghost, who seemed to be staring at her with a disapproving but amused smile, which wasn't possible for a dog, so she had no idea how that's what she was reading. Maybe it was just her self conscious telling her that developing a crush on who she had quickly learned was the town sweetheart was a bad idea. But she couldn't get their conversation out of her head, and she knew if she wasn't careful she would end up whipped.

Before turning her phone off, she opened Waverly's contact once more and added a unicorn emoji next to her name. She smiled and sighed, setting her phone down on the couch next to her. A few moments later, it buzzed once more.

"Oh, real quick! Or if you've already put your phone away or something then good morning just in case you're just reading this when you wake up! I have Champ's address if you end up deciding to break one of those headlights ;)"

Deciding to only read the text on her home screen so as not to let Waverly know she had seen the message and lose herself in conversation, Nicole shut down the phone and let her head fall into her hands.

"Shit."


	5. Too Many Sweaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is more focused on Waverly, with some focus to the beginning blossoms of WayHaught near the end! Hope you continue to enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to everyone who is still reading! XD I hope you guys are still enjoying this because I love writing it!
> 
> This chapter mentions self harm, depression, and death, and while it doesn't have explicit flashbacks of these it does have mentions so to any sensitive readers please proceed with caution!!
> 
> Also, to all my readers, please comment your thoughts! Always keeps me going! :)

Waverly sighed as she waved Wynonna off and settled into her usual spot on the counter in the back kitchen of Shorty's. She often gave silent thanks to Wynonna for keeping the name of the bar after Shorty passed away. He had been as much of a father figure to her as Curtis had been, and with his death occurring only a few weeks after her uncle, she was glad to have something to hold on to that reminded her of him.

He had died in a similar fashion to Curtis, a heart attack, but it had been in his sleep, so thankfully Shorty hadn't felt any pain. That didn't take away much of the pain Waverly was experiencing, but it was some odd comfort to know that it had at least been an easy death. The brunette jumped up on the counter and plugged in her headphones, once again to listen only to silence. She wondered if Wynonna had yet picked up on the fact that she didn't go to the back room to listen to music, instead to sit alone and force herself to prepare for the day.

Of course she knew Wynonna cared for her. Anyone with eyes could see that. But there were things she didn't understand, things she didn't know. Waverly still had a folded hard copy of an email tucked away in her drawer, containing information of Willa's failed treatment, and in turn containing information of why their mother had left. She had intended to share it with Wynonna eventually, after the shock and hurt from Willa's death at least dulled, but then their father had taken his life, and she had never found the right moment after that.

It seemed like only seconds had passed before Wynonna poked her head into the kitchen and waved at her, signaling the start of the day and that she was about to open, but when Waverly looked at the clock she noticed 15 minutes had passed. Forcing a smile, she jumped down and tucked her phone away in her back pocket, making her way out to the front of the bar. Within 10 minutes, no one but the usual morning patrons occupied the bar, until a tall red haired woman made her way in, and Waverly found herself sporting a wide grin that she didn't have to force.

"Hi there officer, I'm assuming you're here for Nedley's coffee order," Wynonna chuckled. Nicole had officially been in Purgatory for a week, and Waverly too assumed that Nedley decided to keep her on coffee duty. She knew that was an important job, knowing the man personally and that he took coffee almost as seriously as he did his job, and she wasn't surprised that the sheriff had taken a liking to her.

"Actually, Nedley is home sick today, this ones just for me," the ginger answered with a laugh, smiling and giving a small wave to the brunette across the counter.

"Must be a quiet day at the office then," the bartender laughed.

"The opposite actually. Without him there it's a basic free for all," Nicole's voice took on a tired sigh and Wynonna chuckled.

"Purgatory's finest," she threw the officer a teasing grin and a wink as she made her way into the back room and Waverly jumped down from the counter.

"Nice to see you again Officer Haught," she smiled, forcing back a laugh at her own words.

"Nice to see you as well Miss. Earp," Nicole giggled. They didn't say anything else to each other, but they shared a smile and Waverly felt her heart flutter as she stared into the taller woman's golden brown eyes.

"Here's your coffee officer, make sure you stop by again real soon now ya hear," Wynonna mocked a southern accent and emitted a laugh from the both of them.

"See you around Earp," there was something in Nicole's voice that was different for both women with the surname. Even though she was talking to Wynonna, Waverly felt it too. So often had their name been tossed around in mockery, accompanied by a sneer or a teasing laugh.

But the way Nicole used the nickname, in a friendly, playful manner that wasn't laced with hatred or disgust but instead with laughter and fun, struck both sisters to the core. Wynonna recovered first, quickly shaking her head and pouring another glass of beer for a waiting customer. Waverly simply inhaled sharply, blinking a few times before allowing herself to release the breath she was holding and doing her best to get back to work.

* * *

Waverly sighed as she stared out across the still only half cleaned restaurant. She had offered to clean up herself that night, insisting Wynonna deserved a break and that she could handle it. In all honestly, she was more looking forward to having some time alone, where she could talk to herself out loud if she needed to and get lost in thought without being interrupted.

She slowly wiped down the counters, doing her best to clean up as many half empty glasses of beer as she could at a time. She managed to get the hang of picking up four at a time and dumping them simultaneously into the sink, but as she continued with the added distraction of her buzzing thoughts, she managed to end up spilling beer down her entire front side. She was so in depth in her thoughts that didn't even notice at first, not until she felt a burst of cold air from the vents above her. She jumped, startled by the wetness across her chest and stomach, and groaned, letting her head fall to the counter with a sigh of defeat.

Tears burned in her eyes and she quickly lost the fight to keep the from falling. Soon enough there were salty rivers streaking across her face. She didn't really know why she was crying. She didn't have a reason to, but it was the first time in years she found herself able to do so, and she soon couldn't help but let her tears flow freely. She hadn't had much time to grieve her break up with Champ (Not that she wasn't happy to be rid of him, but being alone still hurt, even if she initiated the split) or the death of her uncle and Shorty, or Wynonna's return. It was all overwhelming to her and she didn't know or have another response.

"I didn't know Shorty's had wet T-shirt competitions," the teasing but friendly voice made Waverly's head snap up to come face to face with Nicole, standing in the entrance and holding a leash attached to a small white and grey dog. Pets weren't really allowed in the bar, Wynonna had made that perfectly clear when she got tired of cleaning up dog hair after a week of owning the building, but the bundle of fur by Nicole's side was adorable, and Waverly didn't have the heart or the clarity of mind to say anything.

"Oh, I uh... Just a bit of a slip up," she laughed and quickly wiped her face, her skin rough and red, and her mind racing. She grabbed a small dishrag, the only one that was still remotely dry, and did her best to try and absorb some of the liquid on both her cheeks and her shirt.

"Hey, are you alright?" Nicole internally kicked herself at the question. Of course she wasn't alright- She was sitting alone in a closed bar crying. "I... I mean... What happened?"

Waverly looked up at the officer as she crossed the room and as soon as she was in reach the brunette threw her arms around the taller woman, collapsing into a disheveled pile of sobs. Nicole hooked an arm around her without question, holding her as she cried. She clung tightly to the auburn haired woman until she was able to gather her bearings, and she quickly pulled back, wiping her eyes furiously with the backs of her hands.

"Sorry, I didn't... I just... Sorry," she stuttered out an apology.

"Don't apologize," the officer's eyes were soft and concerned, and she reached up to wipe a stray tear from the side of her cheek.

"I didn't mean for anyone to see me like this," Waverly started out with a scared laugh, "It's just that I-" Nicole cut her off by holding up her hand.

"You don't owe me any explanations," she smiled. "Unless you need to talk about it, but if you don't want to, don't. I'm here either way," she added quickly, in case Waverly needed to get it off her chest. Instead, she shot the police officer a grateful look full of such surprise that Nicole wondered if Waverly had ever been told she was allowed to cry without explanation.

"Here, this may help your uh... Situation," Nicole offered with a soft laugh as she gestured to Waverly's still dripping wet front side, shrugging her cyan blue sweater off and up over her shoulders. She held it out with a smile, leaving her in nothing but a black, spaghetti strap tank top.

"Oh god, no really it's fine, you don't have to do that," Waverly let out a nervous chuckle and held her hand up to signal that she was fine, but Nicole shook her head.

"Now what kind of brute leaves a lady in distress?" the red head winked, and the brunette felt her cheeks burning as she accepted the sweater with shaking hands. She realized it was the first time she had seen the officer out of uniform, or even seen any kind of skin lower than her neck. Her muscles were toned and quite visible without being incredibly bulging, and she forced herself to keep her composure as she slipped off her blouse and pulled the sweater over her head. It was long on her and only slightly baggy, but Waverly liked the warmth it provided, accompanied by Nicole's faint scene of vanilla and lavender.

"Thank you, really, I owe you one," Waverly smiled as she adjusted her hair.

"Not a problem Miss. Earp. Can I ask what you're doing here at 11:00 at night all alone?" it was only then that Waverly realized how late it was.

"Oh, well... I told Wynonna I would clean up for her, cause she does it so often and stuff, you know... And I... Well I guess I just lost track of time," she explained, embarrassed. "Uh... Why are you here?" it was only then that the questioned occurred to Waverly as to why her fiery haired friend was even there.

"Well Ghost here seems like he needed a break, he insisted we walk the entire way through town and now he's exhausted," Nicole giggled, gesturing to the puppy lying at her feet with his eyes drooping. "I noticed the lights were on, but I assumed Wynonna was here, and I was curious as to why she was still here so late,"she explained.

"Oh. Nope, just me," Waverly let out a laugh and sniffled once, pushing her hair out of her face. "Just me, and a dirty bar," she sighed, gesturing to the still unclean sight before them.

"That is quite a mess," Nicole laughed, looking around at the half clear tables and scattered glasses. "If you wanted, I could stay and help?"

"No! I mean, no, really, you don't need to do that," Waverly blurted out quickly. Nicole had quite literally given her the shirt off her back, she didn't need to make her do even more to help her incompetence.

"I want to. Besides, it could be fun," Nicole tied the leash to a bolted down bar stool and stood back up with a grin on her face.

"Fun?" Waverly raised an eyebrow at the ginger who only gave a cheeky lopsided smirk back.

"Tell you what. I'll cover this side, you cover that side. Fastest one done wins," Nicole suggested with a laugh.

"What's the loser's punishment?" Waverly knew how these kinds of things worked. Champ never helped her with anything unless it was a competition he knew he could win, and usually the reward was that he got to call the shots in sex that night.

"Loser gets a slightly tarnished reputation as a budding cleaner," the police offer giggled, and the shorter brunette couldn't hold back a smile.

"It's a deal," she reached out and shook Nicole's hand, and then the two were off. Even doing her best to keep her mind in full race mode, Waverly was clearly lagging behind for a large majority of the race. Nicole could easily see it and when she saw the younger Earp slowing down she did the same, wanting to stretch the time she was spending with Waverly out as long as she could. She would never admit it, but her feelings for Waverly were growing, and fast. They texted often enough, at least a few times a night, and even though there was still so much that they didn't know about each other, Nicole could see that Waverly was a kind, goodhearted person, and although she could tell there was a lot she was holding back, she didn't dare ask about her past until the shorter woman came to her first.

In all honesty, Nicole finished half an hour later than she should have and still beat the shorter woman, but she didn't mind. When she finished, she didn't even announce her victory, instead making her way over to help Waverly finish her side.

"You didn't have to do that you know," Waverly chuckled as she flicked off the light switch to the building, only doing so after a final once over of the bar.

"Do what?" Nicole, while slightly teasing, honestly didn't know which part Waverly meant.

"Any of that. Giving me your sweater, helping me clean up, or finishing my half," she swatted playfully at the taller woman's bare arm and the ginger laughed.

"It's my pleasure Waverly," she smiled sincerely.

"Um... Can I walk home with you?" Waverly's questioned surprised both herself and her companion, but Nicole nodded with a grin. Ghost barked slightly at her feet and pawed at her ankles.

"Hey, Ghost, cut it out," Nicole scowled him, but the brunette only giggled, kneeling down to get a better look at the Eskimo.

"When did you get him?" she asked, laughing as he jumped up and pressed a paw to either shoulder.

"A few weeks before I moved here. It was kind of a gift to myself, a reminder that I actually graduated from the academy," Nicole admitted with a flustered face and a slightly embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

"He's cute," Waverly grinned as the Eskimo barked again and nuzzled her hand.

"Thanks," Nicole smiled and the brunette stood back up.

"So, you and Wynonna certainly have a reputation around here," the red haired woman began a second wave of conversation, and noticing the instant fear that swelled in Waverly's expression she was quick to do her best to dismiss it. "All good things," it was a lie, but she could see the brunette appreciated the effort.

"I know they aren't all good things. I'm sure you know by now of the girl who went crazy and her annoyed depressed little sister," Waverly's eyes looked anywhere but at Nicole, and the ginger sighed. It was true- She had definitely heard stories of how Wynonna was locked up for a year in a mental asylum and how Waverly had nearly lost it afterwards.

Wynonna was 13, going into sixth grade. It had been a year since she lost her parents and sister, and she had been doing her best to keep it together. Waverly was still young, only 7 then, and they were living with Gus and Curtis. A representative for a depression hot line had come in to speak to the class about ways to move on while dealing with depression, and a kid in the class had commented with a snicker that Wynonna probably already knew the number by heart because of how screwed up her family life was. She had no recollection of the incident, but she had punched the kid to the point where his nose was broken, his jaw was out of place, and three of his teeth were loose with one being completely knocked out before anyone managed to pull her off.

After that, the family of the boy told Gus that if she wasn't sent somewhere to deal with her problems that they would file charges against her for assault and sue them for everything they owned. The school sided with the kid, and Wynonna was sent off for a year to a psychiatric ward to assess her anger issues and her depression.

Waverly was left to deal with struggling to overcome the Earp name, and it was when, in tenth grade, she started dating Champ that people looked at her differently. If she was with him, then she must not be as crazy as her sister, right?

This proved true until someone noticed the scars on her wrists, and she was ridiculed as an emo freak. Champ threatened to leave her unless she could convince him otherwise, and when Nicole heard what she let him do to her she almost had to excuse herself to throw up, anger bubbling under her skin as she wondered how anyone could treat someone else like that, especially Waverly.

"Well sure, but that stuff doesn't define you. If I believed that you two were crazy, would I really spend so much time around you?" she decided to keep the conversation light, and she playfully nudged the shorter woman. There were definitely things Nicole wanted to know about the Earps, but she would much rather hear the answers from them personally. Waverly chuckled and felt a faint blush spread across her cheeks, and though she said nothing she offered a grateful smile.

After that, they walked mostly in silence, but it was comfortable and neither minded the quiet. Soon, much too soon for either woman's liking, they reached Nicole's apartment.

"Well, this is me," she laughed, turning to face the brunette.

"Yeah," Waverly laughed softly. "Thank you again, for the sweater. And for helping me clean up," she smiled.

"Not a problem. After all, it's an officer's duty to protect and serve," Nicole saluted her with two fingers, emitting a laugh from her shorter companion.

"I'll see you later Officer Haught," Waverly chuckled, reaching down and scratching Ghost behind the ears lightly before turning and making her way down the street. Nicole beamed after her until she was out of sight, and even then remained for an extra few minutes, her smile never faltering once.

* * *

Waverly hugged Nicole's sweater tighter around her body as she made her way down the streets of Purgatory. Cold wind sliced at the skin on her face, and suddenly she was somehow even more grateful that the auburn haired officer had showed up when she did. It would have been a long, freezing walk home in wet clothes. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of the red haired officer, and she felt a slight flutter in her chest. The moment was ruined, however, by the loud clearing of a throat from nearby.

"Hey there beautiful," a cold, sly voice came from behind her and Waverly shuddered at how callous the words sounded.

"What do you want Champ?" she asked, refusing to turn around until it was necessary.

"Just wanna talk baby," slinking out of his position in the shadows and stepping around to face her, he trapped her against a building wall, one arm on either side.

"Champ... I-I don't wanna talk to y-you," she stuttered, her voice breaking as she did her best to choke the words out.

"Then you don't have to talk," he grinned, his eyes dark and his expression cold. He leaned forward, his lips millimeters from her own, when a voice interrupted them.

"Neither do you, I'll do the talking."

For the briefest of moments, Waverly hoped that it was Nicole, that she had forgotten something she wanted to tell her and followed after her just to tell her, but her mind quickly recognized the voice as belonging to her sister. She wasn't disappointed that it was Wynonna, but she _was_ slightly disappointed that it wasn't Nicole. She was relieved, however, to find the older woman holding a revolver to Champ's head.

"Get the fuck away from my sister, or I swear to god I'll have you arrested on the spot," she snarled. Scoffing, Champ stepped closer, only backing down when she cocked the gun and aimed in between his eyes.

"Not worth it anyway," he hissed, kicking the side of the wall and stalking off in the opposite direction. Before Waverly had a chance to speak, Wynonna had her arms locked tightly around her body.

"What the hell Waverly? Where have you been? What have you been doing? It's nearly midnight!" she hissed the questions out so fast that Waverly didn't know where to begin her answers.

"I... I was at Shorty's," she started, deciding that was the best place to begin, "And Nicole was there, so she helped me clean up and I walked her home," she figured a simple explanation was all she needed.

"God you had me so worried!" Wynonna had yet to loosen her death grip around Waverly's frame. "I've been out here looking for you for half an hour! Come on, Gus is worried sick," the two started on the way home, only making it a few steps before Wynonna stopped again.

"Did you wear that sweater to work today?" she asked, looking at the blue fabric wrapped around her skin. Waverly couldn't help but let the corners of her lips curl up into a small smile.

"Uh, no. No, I borrowed it from a friend," Waverly answered with a laugh. Wynonna playfully rolled her eyes and sighed, pulling her sister along as they continued their way home. It wasn't until they were almost to the house that the younger woman's phone buzzed to signify she had a text message. She beamed as she read that it was from Nicole.

"Hey, had fun tonight. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Really. Or if you just need to cry. Just let me know and I'll be there. Also, keep the sweater, I have too many of them anyway ;)"


	6. Price You Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they both have a day off, Waverly invites Nicole to spend the day with her in a town a few hours away, and during their time together Nicole discovers a lot more about Waverly than she expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you're all enjoying this story! It's one of my favorite's of all time and I love writing it, so please please please keep reading and commenting!

Nicole sighed as she laid on the couch, Ghost curled up by her feet and Cato on her chest. The TV played absentmindedly in the background, but the sound barely reached her ears. She wouldn't lie- When Nedley told her she had a day off her back muscles had practically fallen to their knees in worship of the sheriff. She had spent her first two weeks in Purgatory in the station at a desk, hunched over mountains of paperwork, and it was starting to take serious tolls on her back. She understood. She was the newbie, the rookie officer, and someone needed to do it. But, despite this, she couldn't allow herself to enjoy the time off work.  
  
It was already 10:00 and she hadn't even showered yet, which wasn't saying something for most people, but for someone who spent every day being completely ready before 6:00 AM even before she arrived in Purgatory, it felt like she was way behind her normal routine. Her body had woken her at her typical 5:00 AM sharp, as she had trained it to do, but despite the fact that she kept telling herself she should relax and sleep, she only ended up wasting half an hour trapped under suddenly incredibly airtight sheets that seemed to choke her with sickly hot air.  
  
As she lay on the couch, she felt her body begin to sweat once again, and she stood quickly, unable to stay still any longer. She realized much too late that it was a mistake when she saw a flash of black fur tumble to the ground and Cato hissed at her disapprovingly. Ghost looked up from his position, mostly undisturbed, and once he sensed that there was no danger, he returned his head to his paws and closed his eyes once more. Cato however stayed tense, his fur sticking up on the back of his body, his claws unsheathed and his eyes wide.  
  
"Awe, I'm sorry buddy," Nicole bent down and scratched behind the kitten's ears to apologize, and though his gaze softened his body remained alert and tense, still anticipating possible danger. "You know, you'd make a good cop," she grinned, giggling aloud at the thought of the small bundle of fur dressed in a police uniform, making a mental note to remember the idea for Halloween. She stood once more, wincing slightly at the strain it put on her back, and switched off the TV, opting for music instead.

Smiling as the notes flowed from her speaker, she danced absentmindedly and effortlessly around the room, mouthing the words quietly to herself. It had been years since she'd actually sung. The last time had been a few days before Ross and Nora took off in their van with Artie by their side. As a kid she loved it, but she often wrote her own music and got her siblings to learn the accompanying music. The twins normally opted to sing covers of their favorite music, because as talented musicians as they were, neither of them could write lyrics.  
  
Nicole always knew their band would do well, but after they left and she was alone with her parents who she could never please and her grandparents who could never agree, she didn't have the heart to sing or write. The last song she ever wrote she had tucked away deep in her possessions. Eventually, she just gave up on the hope of ever singing again.  
  
A knock on her door tore her out of her thoughts and startled her so much that she fell, hitting her head hard against the floor.  
  
"Nicole? Are you okay?" Nicole was surprised to hear the voice through the closed door, and even more so to recognize it as Waverly Earp.  
  
"Um, yeah! Just a fall!" she lied, but she knew by the way her vision was spinning she was far from alright. She did her best to stand, shaking her head in hopes to clear up her eyesight. She clumsily shut off her speaker and stumbled her way to the door, opening it and faking a smile. Her vision cleared enough to make out the body in front of her.  
  
"That was some loud fall, are you sure you're alright?" Waverly's voice was laced with worry, but Nicole nodded quickly. Bad idea, but she masked the pain well.  
  
"Not a problem. Uh... What are you doing here, don't you have work?" not that she didn't enjoy seeing the brunette, but she still hadn't showered and her fiery curls were a tangled mess.  
  
"Not today, Wynonna got what I had last week so she's off sick, and she says that she doesn't trust the customers enough for me to be there alone. I went by the office and Nedley said you were off, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go do something?" Waverly offered a shy smile and Nicole felt her heart melt, the pain in her head forgotten.  
  
"Oh, well yeah that sounds fun, did you have something in mind?" Nicole did her best not to think about if Waverly, fully showered and dressed in a cute skirt accompanied by a flowery blouse, noticed her rugged bed attire and messy hair.  
  
"Well there's not much to do in the way of fun around here, but a few hours out east is this really cool little town where there's all kinds of stuff. There's an aquarium and a movie theater and they even have an old museum where they-" suddenly Waverly cut herself off, her face flustering bright red, but she didn't look embarrassed in a bashful way, more like she was completely humiliated. Nicole felt her heart lurch at the sight. "Well actually, never mind, it's pretty boring in there," the officer could tell that Waverly was suddenly using a tone that she had only seen once before, when she had mentioned that Nicole most likely knew about the Earp's reputation after being in town a few days. Smiling, she reached out her hand and took Waverly's in her own.  
  
"A museum sounds wonderful," the shocked smile that lit up the brunette's face made Nicole's heart flutter.  
  
"It... Really?" she was quickly back to her excited state, even more so than before, her eyes wide as she tried and failed to contain her grin. Nicole had to wonder how often she actually got to do something she wanted, how often she was allowed to talk about her knowledge of history. Even only knowing her for a few weeks, the auburn haired woman was well aware that while the youngest Earp was extremely intelligent, she often tried to hide it. She understood- Purgatory was a small town, with small minded residents. Pretty girls were supposed to be just that. Pretty and dull.  
  
"Of course. I'd love to go, just... Gimme half an hour to get ready?" she asked, to which Waverly nodded quickly. She allowed the shorter woman to step inside and closed the door behind her. "Don't mind the mess. Uh... Make yourself at home," she smiled, gesturing to the living room. Within a moment, Ghost was up from his position on the couch, barking happily at Waverly's feet.  
  
"Come on, down boy," Nicole scolded, but the brunette waved it off, smiling and leaning down to pet the Eskimo's head.  
  
"I don't mind, hello again Ghost," she giggled as he wagged his tail in pleasure. Seemingly curious about all the excitement, Cato poked his head around the corner of the couch, and Waverly gasped at the sight. "You have a kitten too? Oh it's so cute!"  
  
"That's Cato, I actually just found him a few weeks ago on my first drive to Purgatory," Nicole explained with a laugh. The small bundle of black fur cautiously approached Waverly, and when he sensed no danger he purred and curled his body into her hand. The officer grinned at the picture in front of her, and took a few moments to save the memory before turning and running up the stairs to take the fastest shower of her life.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Waverly had Nicole- Now dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of sneakers- By the arm, talking practically a hundred miles a minute as they made their way through various exhibits at the museum. Not that she minded. The way that the younger Earp raved on excitedly, her eyes like a kid on Christmas and a smile on her face wider than Nicole would've thought possible- the red head could only grin as she watched.

She had to wonder how often Waverly was allowed to show this side of her, how rare it was for her to be so excited over history. The auburn haired woman would be the first to admit she didn't understand half of what her friend was saying, especially when she began speaking Latin to read out long-ago memorized sections of books and plaques, but she didn't mind. Nicole honestly would have been okay listening to the brunette talk for hours on end, even if she couldn't understand a word of it.  
  
"And then this one over here is-" Waverly cut herself off and went quiet as they walked, her eyes unmistakably trailing to a spot that they had obviously seen before. A large statue stood of a man that Nicole only recognized as Wyatt Earp from the history books she had seen in school. Two large boards of information rested in front of the statue, one labeled with the history and legacy he left behind, the other with the simple word "Descendants" Waverly stood frozen in place, frozen in time, and Nicole walked the few steps towards the boards.  
  
"Wyatt Earp: March 19, 1848 - January 13, 1929"  
  
Below were a list of sons, their wives and their children. Soon Nicole reached the bottom of the list, and she began to recognize the names.  
  
"Ward Earp: November 17, 1966 - September 7, 2000"  
  
"Wife- Wendy Rossie: July 24, 1970 - Status unknown"  
  
"Children- Willa and Wynonna Earp"  
  
And then Nicole understood. They hadn't even listed Waverly's name in the family's history.  
  
"You know, I wasn't supposed to happen," Waverly's voice was so quiet that if the police officer didn't know better, she would've sworn it was a different person than she had spent the past few hours with. "Mama used to say... That I was a 'happy accident'. I shouldn't even... I didn't..." tears spilled over the corners of her eyes and Nicole felt her heart break into pieces. Without thinking, she ran her hands comfortingly over Waverly's arms, and as the brunette stared up at her she collapsed into her arms.  
  
Neither one knew or cared how long they stood there, Waverly trying and failing to control her sobs as she clung tightly to Nicole's shirt, while she held the shorter brunette tightly against her chest. Eventually, when Waverly's crying subdued and she seemed to regain her breath, Nicole pulled back and wiped her eyes carefully with her thumbs.  
  
"Accident or not, you deserve to be here as much as anyone else Waverly. More so than most. You are important, and your life matters just as much as any other. Don't you ever let anyone tell you differently, okay?" her eyes were serious and dark, and the shorter woman could only nod in acknowledgement. Nicole gave a small smile and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close and squeezing gently. Waverly accepted the hug gratefully, and when they pulled back she wiped the corners of her eyes, forcing a smile.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just... I didn't mean to-" she stumbled over her words until Nicole held up a hand.  
  
"You don't have to apologize. Come on, there's still plenty of museum to see," with a small wink and offering up her arm, the ginger grinned and Waverly's face blushed slight red as she accepted her arm and they continued through the museum.

* * *

Waverly explained after they left the museum that the aquarium didn't open until dark- Which was odd to Nicole, but she went along with it nonetheless. To pass the time they decided to go to see a movie- An old western that neither bothered to remember the name of. That probably wasn't the best idea, for the subtle but ever persistent pain in the back of Nicole's head from the morning's fall only grew as she strained her eyes to watch the screen, and eventually she gave up and instead spent her time stealing glances at the smaller brunette beside her and lose herself in her mind.  
  
As they often did, her thoughts brought her to her siblings. The only family she really missed, and yet who she had gone the longest without talking to. Since they had turned 19, she hadn't spoken a word to them. Not on purpose of course, but she had no way to contact them, and she hadn't tried in a few years because of her focus in school and the academy. She used to look them up online every few weeks, checking their progress on the website Artie had made for their band.  
  
"Haught Stuff"  
  
The name always made her laugh, even if the pun was terrible and they had all heard the nickname enough to last anyone a lifetime. Nicole was glad that Ross had Artie with him, and she knew they were still together, at least last time she checked the site, because he was still listed under the band's name as "Loyal manager and boyfriend (To Ross)" Nicole was well aware that had to be her brother's input. It had been at least four or five months since she last checked the website, but she didn't see them breaking up anytime soon.  
  
It had taken them until the previous year to even add a phone number, she assumed mostly because they hated planning for things. When they still lived at home, they never booked gigs, they would simply show up in a public place that technically wasn't illegal to play in and they would play whatever they felt like. Rock, pop, acoustic covers, even some French occasionally. They didn't care what they played. It was always a bad business plan in her eyes, but they normally ended the night being paid by somebody, which floored Nicole every time.  
  
She grinned at the memory of her overly tall, freckled, 13 year old self, standing in the front of the opening in La Muse and singing along with them when they would bring her to their concerts. Those were her favorite times as a kid, just being with her siblings and enjoying their company. Being with them made her feel less alone in the world, assured her that she was normal. They had always encouraged her to follow her passions and do what made her happy, and without them she wasn't even sure where she would have ended up. Certainly not the top of her class in the police academy, or the deputy officer in Purgatory, or sitting next to the most interesting woman she had ever seen in her life in a movie theater. She may have just stayed in her hometown, waiting on tables and living with her parents.  
  
The ginger was ripped from her thoughts when she felt Waverly's hand on her arm, and she did her best to hide her startled expression. Luckily, the shorter woman didn't seem to notice.  
  
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanna get something to eat? There's a little cafe just a few minutes from here," it took Nicole a moment to realize that the movie had ended and the credits were rolling out across the screen.  
  
"Oh, uh... Yeah, that sounds nice," the auburn haired woman gave her a smile and they exited the theater together. They had parked Waverly's jeep just outside of the museum, and they had walked to the theater because the town was so small, and the diner was just across the street on the corner of an intersection. It was quaint, and there was faint music playing in the background that Nicole recognized as French. She felt a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, but she said nothing as she followed Waverly inside. They sat in a small booth near the back of the restaurant, facing each other across the table.  
  
"Miss. Waverly Earp, it has been some time, and I see you've brought a friend this time," a voice pulled their eyes away from each other and up to see an older man smiling kindly at the pair.  
  
"Hi Marvin, nice to see you again," Nicole had to wonder just how often Waverly came here alone for Marvin to comment on her presence.  
  
"Yeah. This is Officer Haught," the brunette introduced with a grin.  
  
"Uh... Just Nicole is fine," the ginger usually liked hearing her formal title, but suddenly it made her face sting with a blush.  
  
"Alright Just Nicole," Marvin teased with a wink and only caused her blush to deepen, "What can I get you? I assume you're sticking with your usual order, Miss. Earp?" Waverly nodded and Nicole ordered so quickly that she didn't remember what she had asked for, but when he arrived with her order he set down a plate of chicken. In front of Waverly was what looked like pasta, but it seemed to have an odd texture.  
  
"It's vegan," she explained with a shy smile as she noticed Nicole staring, causing her to nod quickly, her ears turning pink. They ate in comfortable silence, and although the air was not tense Nicole yearned to hear Waverly's voice more, so she tried her best to make as much conversation as possible, even if about nothing. When they were finished, Waverly was quick to offer paying, but the ginger shook her head no, refusing to go through the day without at least paying for dinner.  
  
"Come on, the aquarium opens soon," the younger Earp sister practically dragged her out of the diner, and they walked across the town to a large building, probably the largest in the entire area, with black-tinted glass windows.  
  
"Remind me again why this place only opens at night?" Nicole chuckled, glancing over at Waverly who looked like she was anticipating an explosion any second.  
  
"Just wait, you'll see," she grinned. A few minutes later, the doors opened automatically and Waverly pulled her inside. "Hey Olivia," Waverly smiled at an older woman at the front desk, whose eye's lit up when she saw the brunette.  
  
"Waverly Earp herself! It's been ten years if it's been a day, and it's been too many days!" she reached across the desk to pull her into a tight hug. When she released the smaller woman, she smiled politely at Nicole. "Right through here girls," she gestured to an opening behind her and Waverly grinned at here before pulling her taller companion through the doorway.  
  
"Oh wait wait wait! Close your eyes, it'll make it a better surprise!" she squealed. The officer laughed but did as she was told and let the shorter woman blindly pull her though the building. They stopped multiple times and the red head could hear Waverly mumbling greeting to a few different people, but other than the workers, there didn't seem to be any other occupants in the aquarium.  
  
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't there be other people here?" Nicole's theory that they were alone was confirmed when she heard her voice echoing off the walls around them.  
  
"Normally, yes, but I uh... Well this morning I called ahead and asked if I could have the place tonight, because I was bringing someone," Waverly admitted with a shy laugh.  
"You had this planned already?" she wasn't overtly shocked- Waverly Earp, as far as she'd heard, was a planner- But she was pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Yeah, I like to have things planned in advance."  
  
"What if I would have said no?" she never would have, but Nicole was curious as to what had given the younger Earp sister so much confidence that she would agree to spending the day with her.  
  
"Well, then I guess that would've sucked for us," Waverly's lips were milimeters away from her ear, and she could feel the brunette's breath ghost against her skin, sending shiver's all the way down her spine.  
  
"And why would that have sucked?" she was almost afraid to ask, and her voice came out in a shaking whisper.  
  
"Because you would've missed this."  
  
Before Nicole could ask further questions, Waverly pulled them to a stop and she opened her eyes. In front of her was a maze of fish tanks, but there were no lights on the ceilings. Instead, the tanks were lined with glow sticks, and the fish inside were covered in bioluminescent patterns. The carpet was pitch black, but the room glowed with color, and Nicole actually felt her breathing hitch at the sight.  
  
"Waverly... It's incredible!" she breathed out, her eyes wide and fixated on the tanks in front of her. The shorter woman was beaming from ear to ear, and she looped her arm with Nicole's.  
  
"Every fish they have is bioluminescent. It's only open at night because the fish are only like this in the dark," Waverly leaned against her slightly as they wove their way through the tanks. The roof was made of glass to expose the sky above them, dark and blanketed with stars, and the tanks didnt have an end- They simply turned and twisted to create walls and paths, reaching from the floor to the ceiling.  
  
"How... How did you manage to get them to let you have the place to yourself?" Nicole was still shocked that the younger Earp had managed such a task.  
  
"I know everybody here, everybody in this town, but it's not like it is in Purgatory. I used to come here with Gus when I was a kid, right after we moved in with her. She brought me here all the time, until I was 14 or so. After Wynonna left, I started coming here alone. Nobody here cares about my history, they don't care about my last name, they don't know me because of my reputation or because of Wynonna. Here I can... I'm just Waverly. I'm not Wynonna's pesky little sister, or the forgotten Earp, or even Champ's ex. I'm just me. I don't get to just be me very much," Waverly's gaze was on the floor now, her tone reserved and broken. Nicole didn't know what to say, so instead of speaking she took the brunette's hand in her own and gave her a gentle squeeze. She half-smiled up at the ginger, shook her head to clear her thoughts, and they continued through the rest aquarium in silence.

* * *

Nicole offered to drive home, sensing how tired Waverly was by the sluggish look in her eyes and the way she struggled to stand upright. She tried to object, but was interrupted by her own yawn, and the policewoman had simply laughed and led her to the passenger seat. Waverly was asleep before Nicole closed the car door, and she buckled her seat belt for her sleeping companion.  
  
The drive back to Purgatory once again left Nicole alone with her thoughts, but this time they were consumed with the woman sleeping in the seat next to her. She had planned an entire day in a place she considered sacred, just hoping that Nicole would say yes to go with her. It was hard not to hope that with each passing day Waverly was becoming just as entranced by Nicole as she was by the younger Earp. With each new morning she woke to find that Waverly was on her mind more and more often. The more time they spent together the more she began to know about who she really was, not the charade she performed every day in front of Purgatory residents.  
  
She was broken, dealing with things from her past that Nicole couldn't dream of, but she saw through the fake smile, could tell the difference between it and her real one. It seemed Wynonna could as well, but she too seemed unwilling to admit it. Maybe Nicole could find out more about what had happened from the eldest member of the Earp family. Maybe. But before she could do that, she first had to ask herself if she really wanted to find out.

* * *

The next day, Nicole's head hurt so badly that she couldn't even read her paperwork. Nedley sent her to the doctor, telling her it wasn't a request when she tried to refuse. She had a concussion, and was ordered to stay in bed for the next week. When she reported to Nedley and repeatedly begged for paperwork to keep her occupied while she was at home, he only stared at her until she sighed in defeat and gave up the argument. She was to do nothing but relax until the doctor told her otherwise, but if that was the price she had to pay to have the day she did with Waverly, she'd gladly take the pain. Even if she had to stay in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Up next, Wynonna and Nicole get some time together, but until then, thanks for reading, let me know what you thought! Comments are read 1,000 times and appreciated so much more than you know!


	7. You're Not Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Waverly no longer possesses the strength to stay upright, much less take care of Nicole while she is on bed rest, she decides to visit her friend and change the plans just a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Thank you so much for all your love and support, it really does mean so much to me!!!

Ghost barking loudly was what alerted Nicole to a presence at her door. Waverly had visited her every day for the past three days since she had heard of her concussion, apologizing every time they spoke out of internal guilt, blaming the injury on her unexpected arrival. Nicole did her best to assure her that it wasn't her fault, only a lifetime of clumsiness, but the younger Earp was stubborn and did her best to practically wait on the ginger hand and foot while she was under bed rest. Because of this, naturally the officer assumed that it would be Waverly at her door. Instead, she heard a very different voice echo through her hallway.  
  
"Hey Haught head, you here?"  
  
"Wynonna?" she didn't need to ask- She knew the voice of her older friend well-  But she wouldn't lie when she said she was a bit surprised at her presence. Sure enough, the bar tender popped her head out from around the corner, a teasing grin on her lips.  
  
"Man, I know Waves said you wiped out, but I didn't expect a full on massacre," she chuckled, shaking her head and sitting down on the edge of the bed. Ghost followed in behind her, his tail wagging but his eyes displaying confusion at the new visitor.  
  
"Yeah, the doctor said even when I'm off bed rest I have to take it easy. Not that I've been working on anything extremely important at the station anyway," the last part she didn't exactly mean to say out loud, but once the words were out Nicole didn't regret them, especially because she knew that Wynonna wasn't someone who was going to run off telling other people's secrets. Not when she had been tormented by her own for years.  
  
"That does suck," Wynonna agreed.  
  
"Um... Not that I don't enjoy your company or anything, but why are you here?' Nicole asked, sitting up and taking a sip of the water bottle beside her bed. It had been sitting there a few days now, practically untouched, and the warm taste of the liquid in her throat almost made her gag.  
  
"Well Waverly was supposed to come out and visit you again, but she passed out this morning before she could leave," Nicole couldn't say she was surprised. Waverly had admitted via text message the previous night that she hadn't slept since their day together, partially out of guilt, and partially because she wanted to make sure that if the officer needed anything she was ready to rush to her apartment with a moment's notice.  
  
"Well I'm glad you let her sleep, I don't want her killing herself over me, especially when it wasn't even her fault, Nicole sighed. There was something she saw flash in Wynonna's eyes that was so brief, she barely was sure it was there at all. But if she had, she saw a hint of relief wash over her. Almost before it had even arrived it was gone again, and replaced with a teasing sparkle.  
  
"I know you're on bed rest and all, and I know you aren't used to breaking the rules," the older woman paused as she leaned in close enough that her breath came into contact with Nicole's skin. It didn't make her shiver the way Waverly had, but it did strike up a bundle of nervous energy. "But, I may just have an idea that will get you out of this place for a few hours," the mischievous glint that the older woman had in her eyes told the officer that she was definitely up to no good, but honestly? She was sick of sitting in her room like a lost puppy, unable to even leave the confines of her own home. And she was sure that whatever the oldest memebr of the Earp family had planned would be okay. She was sure that Wynonna couldn't make things any worse.

* * *

She was wrong. She was so, so, very, very wrong. This was worse. This was so much worse. This was stupid and impulsive and was going to worsen her concussion- If not get her killed- And it made her feel wonderful.  
  
The rush of wind against her face, the jerking sensations of the tracks underneath her, her brain pounding against her skull and her heart matching it's pace against her ribs, she felt exhilerated. Or maybe she was just incredibly dizzy and loosing conciousness. Either way, she was alive, and she loved it. Well, what she remembered of it anyway.  
  
As the roller coaster halted with a final lurch forwards, Nicole felt sick, but she offered a goofy, playful grin to the blurry figure of the dark haired brunette beside her, also sporting a cheeky, wide-toothed smile.  
  
"That... Was dumb," Nicole managed to get out as she stumbled her way off the ride. Wynonna giggled and nodded, her eyes almost as out of focus as the ginger haired woman's beside her. "Waverly is gonna kill you," the bartender only answered with another nod, her attention already focused on another ride across the pavement. Without a word, she was already dragging Nicole along to something she managed to make out the sign long enough to read the words "The Twister". Her vision was too blurry to be able to fully see what "The Twister" actually was as far as rides went, but she was quite sure that it was only gonna make her sight and her headache worse. She happily followed along.

* * *

Four hours later, both thoroughly exhausted and dizzy, Nicole and Wynonna were sitting in Shorty's, the bartender herself sipping on a beer while the officer opted instead for a galss of water. She was willing to push her limits against the doctor's orders, but only to a certain degree. She felt like a few hours at an amusement park were a well enough thrill- Alcohol may have been pushing it a bit over the edge.  
  
"How did Waverly and Champ start dating?" she hadn't meant to blurt out the question so abrubtly, especially with no build up to the conversation, but once the words were out there she couldn't take them back, and though her voice was quiet she knew by the look on Wynonna's face that the older woman had heard the question clearly. She sighed and set down her beer, jumping up to sit on the counter of the bar. She sat for a long moment of silence, seemingly contemplating what to say. This seemed out of character, because despite only knowing her for barely the better half of a month, Nicole hadn't come to know Wynonna as someone to think before she spoke. From what she had seen so far, the eldest Earp sister spoke first, asked questions later.  
  
"Waverly was really messed up as a kid," Wynonna paused as she took in a deep breath, and Nicole could tell this story had a lot more to it than simply the origin of Champ's relationship with the younger girl. Not that she minded- She preferred to hear the whole story from one of the Earp sisters. "I'm not sure how much she's told you, or how much you've heard, but you deserve the truth. You care about her, so I want you to know why that's important." Wynonna stared at her, her eyes practically begging Nicole not to get up and run. She nodded, realizing that the bartender wouldn't continue without some sign of confirmation.  
  
"We had an older sister, Willa. She was a year older than I was, and we always got along because of how close in age we were. Then a few years later Waverly was born, and all she wanted from the time that she could walk was to be included. We were happy to do that, but not long after she was born Willa was diagnosed with cancer. Waverly didn't really get what that meant, and none of us tried to explain it to her. We just told her that she was sick a lot, and she needed a lot of rest to help her get better. Our parents didn't really fight before she was diagnosed, not beyond what normal couples did. But after that, it was nonstop. It was all Waverly ever knew of them, how much they argued. When she heard Willa and me talking about how they were before, she blamed herself from that point on," Wynonna had to stop and catch her breath, and if Nicole didn't know better she would've thought she was on the brink of tears. Maybe she was.  
  
"Our mom ran out on us when Waverly was six. She didn't leave behind any explanation, she just packed up her things and left. Willa was home alone when we got home from school that day, and our dad broke down. He cried for hours, and I had to try and console him. He didn't work, because eventually people started to realize he was unreliable, so I decided to start looking for a job because there were still tons of hospital bills to pay. But three days later Willa died, and then our dad lost it. He went crazy, and he was always muttering to himself, cursing under his breath and screaming at things that weren't there," the older woman visibly shuttered at the memory, and Nicole choked back a sob.  
  
"He went on like that for about a week, and Waverly tried to tell me that she was worried about him. I was too busy looking in the newspaper for a job I could actually apply for, so I told her to leave me alone," at this point Wynonna was clearly crying, and she was no longer trying to hide it.  
  
"Waverly... She went up the stairs because she was scared... And she... She o-opened the door of daddy's room... And she saw him p-pul... P-Pull the-" suddenly Wynonna was unable to speak, and she let her head fall into her hands as sobs overtook her body. Nicole didn't expect to ever be needing to comfort the eldest Earp sister- She always presented herself as this strong, fierce warrior who only protected others, not the other way around- But nonetheless Nicole wrapped her arms around the bartender and hugged her tightly against her chest.  
  
Within a few minutes, Wynonna quickly pulled back and wiped her eyes, doing her best to regain her composure. She sniffled and looked up at the officer, staring back with golden brown pools full of concern.  
  
"I swear to God, no one hears a word about this," she threatened. Nicole nodded, and she wouldn't tell anyone anyway, but somehow she didn't quite believe the bartender.  
  
"I messed up. I messed up really bad. Waverly was just a kid, and I just shut her out, like she was nothing," Wynonna seemed to be staring right through her.  
  
"You were just a kid too. You couldn't have done a lot, you were dealing with all of it just as much," Nicole knew how Wynonna felt- Not personally of course, but she knew her older siblings often blamed themselves when she was shot down from pursuing an interest or a hobby by their parents, saying they should have done more to help.  
  
"But I was the older one... I was supposed to be the one that always held it together, who would always be there for her no matter what, and instead I was nothing. I was hardly ever home, I got into vandalism, and then I left. My mom is gone, and she may not be alive. Willa and my dad are dead. And then I left Waverly here to die with them," Wynonna choked on her words, her eys rimming with new tears as she gripped the sides of the counter hard, desperately fighting back her tears and silently pleading with them not to fall. Nicole rested a hand on her shoulder and offered a sympathetic half smile.  
  
"You know, it's okay to fall apart. Just because you're older doesn't mean that you have to always be okay," Nicole saw her grip on the sides of the bar counter loosen and she blinked, tears spilling over the sides of her eyes.  
  
Wynonna cried for the next two hours.

She didn't mention anything about her past again that night. Instead, she let herself cry, and while Nicole was well aware that she was clueless as to the source of many of her tears, she stayed by her side, letting her cling to her sweater when she needed comfort, and giving her space when she didn't. No matter the situation, she did her best to make sure the eldest Earp sister knew that she wasn't going anywhere.  
  
Her companion was well aware that like Waverly, Wynonna was not what she presented herself to be. It was strange, the opposing masks they had chosen to wear.  
  
Waverly, the town sweetheart. Innocent, friendly to all, kind heart, warm smile. Pretty on the eyes, confident when appropriate, shy when necessary. And Wynonna, the misfit. Outcast by the town, tough as nails, could beat any bar patron in an arm wrestling match and didn't mind showing it. Both these identities were fake. Both were nothing but twigs over a fire, baindaids over bullet wounds, and the longer Nicole spent with them the more and more she not only realized there was much more to the Earp sisters than their reputation, but that she too had been covering up her own problems, problems she had hoped to solve by graduating top of her class at the police academy and moving as far away from her parents as she could afford. But, this wasnt the time to think about that. This was the time to think about her older friend.  
  
Wynonna felt her chest start to hurt and breathing turned into wheezing if she took in more than a few breaths. Her eyes were dry and stung with the resedue of salt, and her face was still covered in a thin, stickly paste from the rivers of tears that had previously been rushing down over her skin.  
  
"We should do something."  
  
The suggestion was random and sudden, and Nicole simply looked up at her companion in confusion.  
  
"Something?" she chuckled softly, and Wynonna stood quickly, wiping her face off as best as she could.  
  
"We should watch a movie. And food. We need food. Do you have food? Oh God, are you even supposed to be in front of a TV yet? Can you even watch movies?" Wynonna's tone was frantic, high pitched, insecure even, all extremely nontypical character traits for the older woman.  
  
"Yes, I have food at the house. And I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to spend a day riding roller coasters with a concussion either, but I didn't see you complaining then," Nicole teased. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she wiped her face, taking a moment to fix her apperance to what she considered at least presentable for a fifteen minute walk. As she did so, the ginger took the opportunity to check her phone. When she did, she felt her face go pale.  
  
"Nicole? How are you feeling today? I'm so sorry, I must have crashed this morning!"  
  
"Hey Nicole, me again, just wanted to see if you were okay. If you need me to come over I still can! If you're sleeping that's fine, but I know you normally don't sleep until early morning anymore, either way let me know either when you get this or when you wake up!"  
  
"Have you seen Wynonna by any chance? She must have left this morning because the truck is gone and I haven't seen her come home yet. Can you let me know if she stopped by or something?"  
  
"Seriously Nicole, I'm getting worried about you, and Wynonna still isn't home yet! I'm gonna head over there and check on you, see you in five."  
  
"Nicole Haught where the hell are you? Are you with Wynonna? And why the hell aren't you in bed?"  
  
The last text was just a row of red angry faced emojis, and Nicole let out a nervous chuckle as she tugged on the collar of her suddenly too-tight sweater.  
  
"So... About the movie... We may end up having some unexpected company."

* * *

 ~~~~Nicole wasn't sure why she was trying to be quiet. For starters, this was her own house after all. She was well aware that Ghost and Cato were aware of her presence before she even touched the doorknob. She was also aware that Waverly would most likely be inside, demanding an explanation for their whereabouts during the day. She had done her best to attempt to think of some on the way over, but her mind had only drawn a blank, and by the look on the elder Earp sister's face as they approached the door she could tell Wynonna was in a similar position.

Swinging the door open slowly, not bothering to check if it were locked or not knowing that she most likely had a visitor, Nicole poked her head through the opening of the door. The house seemed eerily quiet- She couldn't even hear Ghost barking- And the ginger flicked her eyes back towards Wynonna before continuing fully through the door.  
  
Wynonna followed closely behind, closing the door slowly behind her. Nicole flicked the kitchen light on to find that the room was completely empty. There were no signs of another presence inside the room, or seemingly inside the house.  
  
"Have fun today?" Waverly's voice startled Nicole so badly that she nearly fell again, and Wynonna threw herself in front of the officer, ready to defend her from any hidden danger. Both relaxed a bit when they were able to clearly identify the voice's owner, but only slightly, seeing as she still wasn't visible to their eyes and she didn't sound pleased.  
  
"Hey baby girl, how you doing?" Wynonna tried, knowing full well that she wasn't going to help her case with her half-hearted attempt, but in her mind it was better than saying nothing. A light flicked on in the living room to reveal Waverly sitting cross legged on the couch, Ghost sleeping in her lap and Cato by her side. The brunette didn't answer. Instead, she rose carefully, cautious not to wake either of the sleeping animals beside her, and approached the pair of guilty-faced women in the doorway. She flicked her eyes to Nicole, then at Wynonna, then back at Nicole, before slapping her hard across the face.  
  
The action stunned her into a frozen state of shock, but before she had time to react she surprised the red head again and threw her arms around the taller woman's body.  
  
"Don't scare me like that again, you idiot. Please. I thought something happened to you," she mumbled against Nicole's shoulder. Unable to form words, the ginger simple hugged the shorter woman back, squeezing her arms reassuringly. Waverly pulled back after a few moments and wiped her eyes, then glared at Wynonna, a guilty smirk playing on the bartender's lips.  
  
"What the hell did you make her do?" her voice had a sharpness to it that Nicole was unfamiliar with.  
  
"Woah woah woah there, I didn't make her do anything. She seemed like she was bored out of her mind, and I just wanted to help her have a little fun, which she agreed to by the way," Wynonna defended herself, narrowing her eyes at the ginger and her sister.  
  
"What if she's hurt more because of you! Where did you guys even go anyways?" Waverly seemed to be asking either of the other women in the room now.  
  
"Nowhere bad! Just... Just to a um... An amusement park?" Wynonna giggled anxiously, running a hand through her hair as Waverly stared at her sister in shock. She and Nicole stood frozen as they waited for the brunette's reaction. It never came. Instead, she simply took the ginger officer with one arm and Wynonna with her other, dragging the pair outside towards her car, parked on the opposite side of the apartment building.  
  
"Wave? Where are we going?" Nicole asked, confused as to just where she was being led to.  
  
"To the hospital. You," she paused to glare back at Wynonna in the backseat, "Are so not off the hook for this. And you," she now turned to stare into Nicole's brown eyes, "Are not going to bed until you're looked at by a doctor," worry was clearly laced in her tone and the auburn haired woman couldn't help the fluttering of her heart as she slid her seat belt on, staring straight ahead as they began their drive.

* * *

The hospital visit was embarrasing for both Wynonna and Nicole alike as they shamefully admitted to their time at the park. Luckily for Nicole, and probably even luckier for Wynonna's safety from Waverly, she had not damaged anything more, and her bed rest- While not needing to be expanded- Did need to be followed for the remainder of the dianosis. After thanking the doctor for his time and checking the officer out, Wynonna led them to Waverly's jeep, simply because between her lack of sleep over the past few days- Save for the few hours she had recieved earlier that day- Along with her worry for Nicole's health, she had exhausted herself into a deep sleep. With the brunette practically slung over her shoulder, she lifted Waverly carefully and slid her into the back seat, then jumped in front of the wheel.  
  
"Sorry I got you in trouble Haught shot," Wynonna chuckled.  
  
"You know something? I don't think you are," Nicole teased back. The bartender smiled, but this was not out of irony or mischeif. This was a genuine, broad smile, her teeth showing through as she pulled out of the parking lot. She cast a glance back at her sleeping sister in the backseat, curled into a ball and huddled as far underneath her blanket as she could.  
  
There was something changing in Waverly, something she hadn't seen in years, and something she thought had died along with the rest of her family. Suddenly the younger girl was always up before dawn, completely showered and dressed with breakfast already made. She sung in the car on the way to work, actually laughed at the repeated jokes of bar patrons she had heard a thousand times, and she started helpng Wynonna set up instead of sitting in the back alone. Waverly was happy, and the eldest Earp sister never thought she would see that in her sister again. She readjusted her focus back to the road and let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head with a slight chuckle.  
  
"No Nicole, you're right. I'm really not."


	8. Not Ready Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is finally going back to work, and she has to leave Ghost and Cato alone for the first time in a week, but it seems the universe has other plans when Waverly offers to watch them for a day, and things- Of course- Go differently than expected. Maybe Waverly isn't so ready for pets after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this update is so late!!! I really have been working on this but these past few days have been exhausting for me. I just got home from vacation three days ago so I've been trying to get back into a routine, and I hope you enjoy the chapter regardless!

Nicole honestly hated leaving Cato and Ghost alone during the day.

She was well aware the animals were self sufficient, but they were both still toddlers as far as they went in their species, and they were curious about everything. The officer's house was practically baby proof, just to keep the animals from getting into anything they shouldn't, not to mention that they often seemed like they were lonely. Every day when she would come home, Ghost wouldn't stop barking excitedly for at least half an hour and Cato would claw his way up her leg until she lifted him and let him rest on her shoulder.

That was why, when she saw that Shorty's had a sign up that read "Closed for the next two days, don't bother me," simply because Wynonna didn't feel like working, two thoughts popped into her head. The first was that the bartender was definitely not very professional about her job and if she were anything but the owner she'd have been fired at this point, but knowing the older woman she could've guessed that already.

The second was that if Shorty's was closed and Wynonna was off, Waverly was off as well.

It was her first official day back to work since her concussion, and she knew it wasn't going to be easy for her companions. The previous day when she had left to go to the store for the first time in a week, Cato and Ghost had followed her to the door, whimpering and mewling in protest. When she returned, she realized they hadn't moved since she left, and their heads both popped up in excitement before she was ambushed by two bundles of black and white fur. She knew they were suddenly used to her being home all day.

She knew Waverly liked her pets, but the officer was sure that she had plans, and she wouldn't even be available to watch them, much less willing to spend a day in her house with them. Still, when she heard a knock at her front door and saw Waverly standing outside that morning, not only was she surprised to see her, but the question probed in the back of her mind.

"Waves?" she asked, smiling and stepping aside to allow her inside. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I just... I wanted to come see you. You go back to work today right?" the fact that Waverly knew that made Nicole's heart flutter in her chest, but she pushed the feeling back down and nodded in response. At the sound of a visitor, Ghost tumbled into the kitchen, nearly tripping over his tiny body as he rushed towards Waverly excitedly.

"Hi Ghost!" the brunette instantly was beaming, kneeling down to pet the Eskimo happily. Cato suddenly jumped down from the counter onto Waverly's shoulder and she laughed, scratching him between the ears, leaving Nicole confused as to where he had even come from.

"Sorry about them, they're suddenly used to being around someone all day and they like you," Nicole apologized with a shy smile, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Don't apologize, I love these little guys!" Waverly giggled, letting Ghost curl up in her lap with Cato by his side. Now that she saw them curled up together, Nicole realized that the puppy was only a few inches bigger than his counterpart, and they would most likely grow together in size. "I wish I had pets, Wynonna doesn't like them," the brunette pouted slightly.

"Trust me, pets aren't always easy to take care of. These two get so lonely if you leave them alone for very long," Nicole sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I'm sure they're easy," Waverly laughed as Ghost nuzzled his nose against her hand. "I could watch them if you wanted? Just till they get used to you not being around?" the question startled Nicole, and it took her a moment to answer.

"Um... I don't know if that'd be the best idea. Aren't you busy today? Besides, they aren't easy to keep entertained, and they get attached easily. They may start getting antsy if you aren't around," the red head explained. Waverly stood, walking over and looking Nicole in the eyes.

"Then I guess I'll just have to start coming over more often," she grinned, and it was everything the officer had not to blush as bright as her hair. "Besides, these little things can't be bad at all!" and Waverly was suddenly back on the floor, letting the two bundles of fur crawl over her.

"I... Are you sure?" Nicole honestly was beginning to regret even thinking about asking her- Not that she didn't think Waverly was responsible or capable- But Ghost and Cato could definitely be a handful.

"Of course! I'd be happy to do it, really," the shorter woman smiled up at her and she sighed.

"Well... I guess that'd be okay," she finally agreed. After explaining to Waverly where everything was and how much food her pets typically ate, she went upstairs to get herself ready for work. By the time she was finished the brunette already had the two animals curled up in her lap asleep on the couch and she grinned at Nicole. The officer could only laugh and shake her head, waving goodbye to the younger Earp sister as she headed out the door, praying that Waverly would be okay with her two ornery, fur-covered companions.

* * *

Waverly wanted to make sure Nicole's worries weren't confirmed when she returned, so she was determined to do well with the animals she volunteered to watch. At first, they only sat beside her, watching her with curiosity as she tried to decide on what to do first. She had never owned a pet, and even though she loved animals, beyond what instructions that Nicole had given her, she knew virtually nothing about caring for one, let alone two.

"Ghost needs a walk, and he'll probably wanna go before noon. Cato usually gets bored when you leave, but no matter what he does you can't take him so try to fill his food bowl before you go, and leave some toys out for him. He doesn't like them when you give him them directly, so just leave them lying around and he should be okay until you're back. Ghost doesn't need fed until after his walk, and can let himself out if he needs to go to the bathroom, he's usually pretty good about it. If you need anything, something happens or just if they're bad, just call me and I'll be home as quick as I can."

They were simple enough directions, and Waverly felt confident that she could handle anything the animals threw her way, but she was still nervous because she was anxious to impress her friend, or at least ease her nerves. She knew the officer was under a lot of stress now that Nedley was finally giving her more duties, and she wanted to assure her that she didn't have anything to worry about.

Eventually, Cato lost interest in sitting beside her on the couch and padded over to the window, jumping up on the window sill and staring outside. The sky was still dark, seeing as how it was barely 6:30, so she wasn't sure what he could possibly be looking at, but he seemed intrigued nonetheless, so she figured he was alright.

Ghost however jumped up, grabbing a rope and padding over to the brunette on the couch and jumping up, barking as best as he could with the rope still clenched between his teeth. Smiling, Waverly took one end in her hand, and giggled as the bundle of white and grey fur pulled back with all his might.

They pulled for a few moments, until Waverly decided to let the Eskimo have his victory. Letting the rope go, she giggled as he tumbled backwards, the rope still held victoriously in his teeth. She let out a laugh, and they repeated the game four times more before Ghost seemed to grow bored and he dropped the rope at his paws, resting his head on the edges of his limbs and closing his eyes. Cato hadn't moved from his position on the window sill, and Waverly sat still, wondering what she should do.

Deciding that the animals were content for awhile, she pulled out a book from her purse. It was entirely in Latin, and she had yet to complete a certain chapter due to the way it had been written, so she figured that she may as well take advantage of her free time. Curling up in the corner of the couch, she pulled her knees up to rest her book against and let herself get lost in her reading.

* * *

Some time later, (She wasn't really sure how much had passed) Waverly was startled away from her book when Ghost jumped up on her lap, dropping a blue leash onto her legs and barking with his tongue hanging out. It was the first time she'd seen either of the animals since she began reading.

"Oh, you wanna go for a walk buddy?" she asked, picking up one end of the leash. She looked up at the clock and couldn't help but laugh. 11:30. It was as if Ghost knew when he was supposed to go out. Barking excitedly, he jumped down and ran in circled until she giggled and picked him up, securing the clip of the leash to his collar. "Okay Ghost, let's get going then," she laughed. He practically dragged her to the door, surprisingly strong despite his minuscule size.

Waverly paused to look around for Cato, and spotted the small bundle of black fur sleeping in a ball in the corner of a couch. She didn't feel that waking him was a necessity, so instead she set out a can of food for him, laid a few string toys randomly across the room, and turned off the lights that she had been using before doing a final scan of the room with her eyes. Nodding when she was content enough to leave the kitten alone, she opened the door and let Ghost walk outside, allowing him to lead her down the street.

He stuck to a straight path- Mostly, anyways- And as they made their way through the streets Waverly thought about stopping by the police station to let Nicole see the puppy. She stopped herself a few blocks away, however, when she remembered that Nedley was stricter in his "No pets allowed" rule than Wynonna, and she decided it was best not to get the ginger officer in trouble so early in her career in Purgatory.

Instead, she opted to stop by the homestead. Spending the day with no one but animals and books as company seemed nice at first, but she had began to miss the comfort of hearing another human voice, and she could use some company until Nicole returned from her work shift.

She knew Wynonna wouldn't like it, at least at first, but she wondered if even Ghost couldn't change her mind about her hatred for animals. There were plenty of reasons she had for it- Clean up, care, shedding, house training, unpredictability, responsibility- But there was also a hidden, underlying hatred that Wynonna had for animals- Dogs in particular. Waverly understood why, in a sense, but it had been years since the incident with Marcus, Gus and Curtis' dog.

_Flashback_

_Waverly clutched her blanket tightly in one hand and Wynonna's fingers in the other as she followed her sister and Gus inside her aunt's house. It had been a week since the funeral for her dad, and she and Wynonna had been staying in their house with Gus until their things could be moved and bedrooms could be set up for the both of them._

_From inside the house, the sound of loud, aggressive barking could be heard echoing around against the walls, and she winced in fear, shrinking back as they approached the steps. Noticing this, Gus turned and kneeled down, smiling and brushing a strand her brunette hair behind her ears._

_"Don't worry Waverly, ol' Marcus wont hurt ya. He's a friendly fella," she promised. Wynonna scoffed at this, but a death glare from the older woman silenced any words she had been planning on saying. This did virtually nothing to calm the younger girl's nerves, but realizing she had no choice, she sucked in a breath and followed them inside. When the door opened, they were greeted by a large, black German Shepard that even on all fours stood as tall as Waverly herself._

_Wynonna looked scared, something Waverly had never seen before, and Marcus growled at her, but when he looked at the younger brunette beside him his eyes went soft. He stared at her for a moment, then stepped forwards and pressed his nose against her cheek. Giggling and forgetting her fear, Waverly threw her arms around the dog._

_"Why the hell does he not hate her? He literally hates everyone!" Wynonna cried, glaring angrily at the dog._

_"Wynonna Earp! You will watch your mouth in this house, especially around your sister!" Gus scolded her, but the twelve year old ignored her, storming up to her new bedroom with her bag clutched in her arms. Waverly paid no notice, instead letting her attention be completely swept up by the dog in front of her._

_"Seems that Marcus has taken a liking to ya Waves," the voice of Curtis sounded behind her and she grinned, running her small fingers over his head and giggling happily as he nuzzled into her hand._

_Later that night, Waverly was curled up in her new bed, smiling at the room around her. It was small, but it was also pink and decorated with as many things from her old room as possible. Even her bed sheets and comforter were the same, and she decided that for the time being, she would be satisfied in calling this house home, at least until she was old enough to move back to the homestead. Wynonna however, seemed like she had quite a different opinion of the new arrangement._

_Waverly was nearly asleep when she heard the shouting from across the hall. Sitting straight up in bed and throwing off her covers, she ran as quickly as she could to Wynonna's room where she gasped. Marcus was sitting on top of her, growling in displeasure as the girl underneath him pushed and shoved at his body, her teeth gritted together in anger and a large scratch mark clearly visible on her arm._

_End Flashback_

Waverly laughed slightly at the memory. She wouldn't laugh if Wynonna had been seriously injured, but the next morning the scratch was barely visible, and Waverly was pretty sure her six year old eyes had triggered some fear mode that made the scratch seem much worse than it actually had been. Besides, Ghost was a literal puppy, Cato wasn't bigger than her hand, and even Wynonna couldn't say no to two helpless bundles of fur.

* * *

"No."

Waverly groaned as she let her head fall against the doorframe.

"Come on Wynonna, please? He's just a little thing, and Cato is smaller than he is!" she begged, poking out her bottom lip, but the older woman shook her head.

"No, Waverly, I'm not spending a day in a house trapped with that thing or it's evil brother. Besides, animals shed everywhere, then I get stuck cleaning up after it. Not to mention," she paused to gesture to where she had been scratched by Marcus, and Waverly rolled her eyes.

"You and that damn story. That was 15 years ago! And Marcus was older than you are now!" that wasn't exactly true- Marcus had only been 19 when they had arrived to live with Gus and Curtis- But that was still an incredibly long time for a dog to live.

"I'm not going Waverly. Sorry, but it's a no," the bartender stood firmly in her position, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes unblinking.

"But Wynonnaaaa," the shorter woman dragged out the name of her older sister. "First off, they're Nicole's pets- It's not like we're gonna keep them. And doesn't Ghost here just warm your heart? How can you hate something so cuddly and cute, especially when Cato is even fluffier and cuter!" Waverly bent down to scoop the puppy into her arms, holding him out to look her sister in the face. Wynonna's eyes twitched, but she didn't budge from the position she was standing in.

"Nope. Sorry Waves, you're on your own for this one. Besides, I'm sure you wouldn't mind being the sole recipient of Haughtstuff's praise," with that and a wink, Wynonna closed the door, leaving Waverly blushing bright pink and angry with her sister. She groaned loudly, sinking down to a sitting position against the wall. She watched Ghost run in circles, barking excitedly at her, and she chuckled, unable to help her smile at the behavior.

"Come on buddy, it looks like it's gonna rain soon, and your brother is probably getting bored," she stood and let the Eskimo lead her down the steps, back into the streets, and towards Nicole's apartment, feeling a drop of rain hit her nose as they began the journey home.

* * *

Waverly practically ran inside Nicole's apartment when it came into view, Ghost cradled in her arms and tucked inside her jacket to shield him as much as she could from the rain. Thunder rumbled on loudly outside and as she slammed the door behind her, she jumped as the power simultaneously shut off.

"Dammit!" she cursed loudly, shaking her coat off her shoulders and setting Ghost down on the floor. He looked up at her through the darkness, his head only visible enough to see that it was tilted to one side.

"I'm sorry buddy, here, let's get you some food," she apologized, reaching down to scratch behind his ears. Fumbling through the kitchen as best as she could with only her phone flashlight providing her any source of light, Waverly somehow managed to pour a bowl of dog food and not spill more than a few pieces. When she set the bowl down, the puppy was by her side immediately, already diving into the food.

"There you go Ghost, that should keep you busy for awhile," she sighed and stood up, looking around the room. She blindly made her way back into the living room, deciding that she might as well read while she could, but as she settled into a comfortable position with her book in her lap, she only managed to read for about 10 minutes before her phone battery died and the only light she had was suddenly gone. Throwing her head back in frustration, Waverly begrudgingly set the phone down on the table beside her and tossed her book aside.

A few moments later, Ghost game trotting into the room, barking to let his presence be made known before jumping up to sit at Waverly's feet. The brunette smiled and scratched his head, but when she pulled back her hand froze in mid-air, suddenly coming to the realization that the power wasn't the only thing that was gone. She still had yet to see Cato since she had arrived back at the apartment, and when her eyes scanned the room, she noticed that the window was cracked open just enough for something as small as the kitten to crawl out of if he wanted to.

* * *

"Cato!" Waverly tried for the seventh time, again to no avail. She was seriously beginning to panic. It had been an hour since the power went off and still the brunette couldn't seem to locate the kitten. True, he was small, almost completely black, and his eyes didn't illuminate much in the dark, but she figured that after throwing around some of his toys, pouring some of his food, and scouring around across the floor on her hands and knees she would've at least _heard_ him by now. Unless of course, he actually had gone out the window.

But no, an hour had come and gone, Nicole would definitely be back from her shift before the storm ended considering the way the rain was pouring down, and the wind outside were beginning to become more aggressive. It whipped unforgivingly at the sides of the apartment, whistling so loudly that Waverly couldn't hear herself think.

She tried to remember if the window had been open when she first arrived at the apartment. The idea that something as small as Cato was could pry open a window, even begin to unlock the latches at the top of it, were definitely far fetched, but the brunette honestly hadn't even looked at the window until she noticed that he was missing, and she was running out of places to look. There was no way she would be able to go out and look for him in this weather, so she closed the window with shaking hands and let out a sob.

She then let herself fall to the couch in defeat, curling her knees into her chest and feeling tears well up in her eyes. How was she going to explain this to Nicole?

* * *

"Waverly?"

A soft voice sounded in the brunette's ear, but she whimpered and turned in her sleep, attempting to return to her dark state of unconsciousness.

"Waverly?" the voice was slightly louder this time, and she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Bolting upright as she suddenly snapped awake, Waverly's wide eyes scanned the area, fear evident in her expression.

It was only then that she remembered the events that had taken place earlier, and she wondered how long she had been asleep. The power was back on and the room was once again illuminated by the dim light of the lamp on the table beside the couch.

"Hey, Waves! It's me!" the younger Earp sister finally looked up to meet Nicole's warm gaze, Ghost curled up in her arms, the Eskimo half asleep under her soft touch.

"N-Nicole?" she squeaked out, her voice cracking as she tried to utter the officer's name.

"Hey, I'm sorry to wake you," Nicole seemed genuinely apologetic, "I just wanted to let you know I was home. I'm sorry I'm so late, Nedley wouldn't let any of us leave until the storm eased up a bit she gestured to the window where Waverly could see that the sky was still grey and it was still raining, but only lightly, and the thunder and wind had subdued.

As she stared, her attention quickly shifted from the weather to the window itself. She nearly choked. She'd hoped that it was all a dream, but no- Cato was possibly gone, and it was entirely her fault.

"Nicole, I... I have to tell you, I uh... Cato is-" she froze, unable to finish her sentence.

"Yeah, where is the little guy? I haven't seen him yet," the auburn haired woman's eyes scanned the room, and Waverly felt like she was going to be sick.

"Well... He's uh... He-" before she could finish, a small mewling sound came from under the couch and Waverly's heart thrashed against her chest in surprise. Nicole set down Ghost and knelt down to look underneath, letting out a laugh as she scooped up a black bundle of fur.

"Hey there you," she laughed, running her fingers over his ears. "It's no surprise he was under there. He hates storms," Nicole chuckled.

"I... He... He does?" Waverly stuttered, relief flooding through her so quickly that she felt if she weren't sitting down she would have fallen over.

"Yeah he-" Nicole was cut off when her gaze landed on the window and she groaned. "God, no wonder it's so hot in here," she walked over and opened the window a small crack, allowing a gust of air to flow through. "Ghost, how many times do I have to keep opening this before you learn to leave it alone?"

"You... You opened that window on purpose?" Waverly felt shock run through her veins.

"Yeah, air conditioning is broke, so this is the only way it's ever anything but 900° in here. And this little guy seems to think it's a game to constantly close it back up," she scolded the puppy on the ground next to her, who only barked and trotted off to his bed in the corner. "Anyways, thank you so much for watching them, it means a lot. They should be okay from now on, they seemed to manage before I got stuck on bedrest, and they won't have someone around anymore to keep an eye on them," Nicole giggled.

"Oh, really, it's no problem, they were angels," Waverly forced a smile and stood, and the ginger laughed.

"I highly doubt that, but seriously, thank you. You got these little guys to behave, and they're in one piece. You'd be a pretty good pet owner." Waverly sincerely doubted it. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home," the police officer led the brunette outside to her cruiser and gave her a quick lift back to the homestead. After a few quick goodbye's, Waverly stood still and watched until Nicole's car was out of sight before letting out a loud sigh of relief and staring up at her house.

"You know, maybe I'm _not_ ready for pets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this one!! Next chapter is definitely gonna add some drama, so I hope you're all ready!!


	9. Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly isn't supposed to like girls like Nicole. She isn't supposed to like girls. But she does. She likes girls. Or at least, she likes Nicole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanna say thank you all so much for all your support and love! This story means so much to me and I enjoy writing every chapter!

Waverly woke to the sound of her phone buzzing. She did her best to ignore it, rolling over and burying her head under a mountain of pillows, trying to will herself back to sleep, but it was no use. She was awake, and she begrudging rolled back to grab her phone. Her blinds were closed and the room was dark, and as the brightness of her phone screen hit her eyes she winced and blindly turned down the brightness.

When it was low enough that she could look at the screen without loosing her vision, she opened the lock screen and clicked on her messages app. Despite her mood and her exhaustion, she couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips when she saw the text was from Nicole.

"Hey, hope I didn't wake you! Just wanted to let you know I'm sick today, so I won't be in at Shorty's later :( God, I finally am allowed to go back to work, and after a week I'm sick again. This blows. Anyways, text me when you're up!"

Waverly could feel the heat rising in cheeks and she couldn't contain the goofy grin on her face that hurt her cheeks as she typed back a response.

"I'm sorry you're sick! :( If you want I could come out and keep you company?"

The brunette's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as she typed her response. Why was she offering to be around someone who was ill?

"First of all, it's 5:00 in the morning, why are you awake? You should still be asleep! I didn't wake you did I? And no, you don't have to do that! Just wanted to let you know in case you were wondering is all."

She hated being around Wynonna when she was sick, because along with the bartender being even more impossible than normal when she wasn't feeling well, no matter what precautions Waverly took she always ended up with the same illness, but usually it was worse. Her immune system seemed to enjoy pulling an age old prank where she would be fine for a few days, let her believe she wasn't sick, and then suddenly she would wake up one morning and she wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

"No, you're fine. Couldn't sleep. And I don't mind missing work. Wynonna can handle Shorty's by herself."

But, she also really wanted to see Nicole. _Really_ wanted to see her. To the point where the thought of not seeing her almost hurt. Why was she suddenly so eager to see the officer? They were just friends. Good friends. Maybe they were even best friends, if she thought about it. But that was it. They were just that. Friends. Weren't they?

"Nah, its fine, really. Wynonna could probably use all the help she can get in that place, considering your "customers" include people like Champ Hardy ;)"

"Oh god, was that overstepping? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was trying to insult you or anything!"

Nicole certainly hadn't made a pass at her, at least not romantically, but she also came across as the type of person who wouldn't actually try anything unless Waverly first gave her consent to do so. Was that what she wanted? The younger Earp wasn't sure. She wouldn't deny that the idea of being with a woman certainly hadn't escaped her mind before, but she had never actually found anyone she'd really been interested in that way before. She wasn't even sure if she was ever truly in love with Champ.

"Not a problem. Champ is an ass, he deserves whatever you can throw at him ;)"

Maybe in love with the reputation it gave her, as someone who was a normal, small town girl. After all, that's all she needed to be, right?

"Does that include a fist? ;)"

Why did she need to be anything more? Why did she need to be some big hotshot who broke the stereotype and got out of Purgatory?

"Why Officer Haught, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were considering breaking the law!"

She was Waverly Earp, local bar waitress, homecoming queen, Purgatory's town sweetheart.

"Well, if it was for you, I'd gladly break the law ma'am. I _am_ the law ;) Besides, can't arrest myself!"

But the sheriff's deputy, who she could envision would be tipping her Stetson had the conversation currently ensuing had been face to face, didn't see her that way.

"Not to burst your bubble here or anything, but going by that logic _Nedley_ is the law, and _he_ could certainly arrest you, or he could put you back on paperwork!"

No, she looked at Waverly and saw Waverly. She didn't see the charade she so often hid behind. She saw a girl who was broken, and who was desperate for someone, anyone who would, to pay attention to her needs and her wants. Just once. Just once, for someone to look at her and ask her how she was doing, not mention Wynonna or her past when they noticed something was wrong, or simply be blind to her mask all together and not see that behind her smile she was dying.

"Waverly Earp, you're much more important than paperwork."

Well, maybe not _anyone_. Maybe just someone in particular.

"You're more important than Champ."

She was so screwed.

* * *

"You okay Wave?" Wynonna's voice startled the younger woman and she jumped, nearly dropping the glass she was holding.

"Uh, yeah! Yeah, I'm all good!" she lied quickly. She had a terrible poker face, and even if she didn't Wynonna was a better lie detector than anyone she'd ever met in her life, but thankfully the bartender seemed to understand that Waverly wasn't in the mood for talking.

"Alright baby girl, as long as you're okay. Oh! Don't forget, Gus is coming round the homestead later for dinner," the taller woman reminded her. Waverly gave a weak smile and nodded, then returned her focus to wiping the glass still currently in her hands.

If she were being truthful, she didn't know what was wrong. She wasn't upset. She was actually doing better than she had in a long time. She was smiling more. She was happier. Well, she was happy at all. That was saying something. And she knew that Nicole was the source of a lot of her sudden change.

Of course, dumping Champ had definitely helped. As soon as the relationship was over, she felt an instant weight lift from her shoulders. But ever since Waverly had met the tall, chipper, red haired sheriff's deputy, her mood had quite noticeably changed for the better. Which was honestly a bit terrifying in her opinion.

It had been so long since she felt anything other than shame and guilt, and Nicole was slowly bringing back the innocence and joy she thought she'd lost so long ago. A text message startled Waverly out of her thoughts and she jumped again.

"Hey, I know you're busy working, just wanted to see how you're doing! Did you get enough sleep? I hope I didn't wake you too early!"

She couldn't contain the smile that instantly spread out across her face.

"Nicole I'm fine, honest, don't worry about me. How are you feeling? You're the one who's sick! :("

Normally Waverly wouldn't even bother to look at her phone during work, because even though being a bar waitress in Purgatory wasn't her ideal dream job, she tried to take her work seriously. But this was Nicole, and suddenly the officer took precedence over her reputation in Shorty's.

"I told you Waves, I'm okay, really! I got these little guys here to keep me company anyways!

Attachment:

IMG_2075193_105263.jpg"

Waverly felt her heart swoon at the picture, which consisted of the red haired officer, curled up on the couch under a blanket, Ghost on her chest and Cato on her shoulder. Despite her pale appearance and her unkept mess of curls, she was sporting a wide toothed grin, and the brunette quickly saved the picture and attached it to Nicole's contact.

"Haha, well lucky you then! Better company than I have :(

Attachment:

IMG_2074636_106359.jpg"

Waverly casually tilted her phone slightly to snap a shot of the already crowded bar, full of drunken patrons stumbling their way through the room.

"Awe. Poor you. :("

Waverly could only laugh, practically hearing the sarcasm dripping from the text. She only looked up from her phone when she felt eyes on her and glanced up to see Wynonna across the room, desperately trying to keep a man from ordering another beer.

"Yeah yeah. Well, Wynonna's looking at me like I just kicked a puppy, I should go and help her."

She hated to go, but she wasn't sure how many innocently flirtatious texts she could take at once, and at least she wasn't lying about her excuse.

"Oh god, sorry to disturb you! Text me later when you can, have fun at work! :)"

Waverly didn't bother opening the messages app to read the text, knowing if she did she wouldn't be able to resist texting back and she would get sucked back in to another entire conversation. She closed her phone, then decided to completely shut it down so she wouldn't have to think about Nicole for the rest of the day. But of course, turning off her phone did virtually nothing to turn off her thoughts about the ginger officer.

* * *

Despite the fact that Waverly loved her, Gus could talk for hours if you'd let her. And, being that Waverly couldn't say no to her aunt, she did. Dinner turned into drinks and drinks turned into even more drinks, slowly going from beer to wine to whiskey before the brunette could even fathom what was happening.

"So Waverly, tell me about your love life. Still single since Champ?" the older woman questioned, taking a long sip of her glass.

"Well, I uh..." she stuttered, unsure how to answer. She was single, yes, but she did have a crush. Maybe. Possibly. Okay, yes, she had a crush on Nicole. But she couldn't just out herself when she was half drunk and already beginning to slur her words.

"She's got it bad for Officer Haughtie," Wynonna teased, causing her face to blush an embarrassed shade of bright red.

"I do not!" she defended herself quickly, her voice raising nearly an entire octave. She cast her eyes downward in humiliation, terrified that they could both see right through her charade.

" _Sureeee_ ," Wynonna slurred, giggling over the rim of her glass. "I see the way you look at her. Waverly _loooves_ her," the older Earp sister laughed again, tilting her head back and sporting a ridiculous smirk.

"I think you're done for tonight Wynonna," Gus barked, and despite her giddy state, Wynonna obeyed her aunt and set her glass down, though not without a mumble that undoubtedly included some choice words. She was passed out on the couch not a minute later.

"Waverly," Gus's tone was soft, understanding even. The younger brunette slowly lifted her gaze to meet her aunt's. "If you don't like Officer Haught, that's okay. And if you do, then you like her. That's it. Does liking her change anything about you? Does liking a woman change your heart, change the way you always put others above yourself, or the way that you take care of the people you love?"

"No ma'am," Waverly answered in a quiet voice.

"Well then, that's all there is to it. You're a wonderful, intelligent girl, and boy or girl, no matter who you end up with isn't gonna change any of it," Gus nodded firmly, downing the last remaining drops of her whiskey. "I think that's enough drinking for tonight. I'm gonna head home, you keep watch over her, ya here?" she gestured to the drunk, half conscious girl on the couch, and Waverly nodded. "You do the Earp name proud," Gus pressed a kiss to her forehead before winking at her and making her way out of the house.

Waverly leaned back on the couch and sighed. Liking Nicole didn't change Gus's opinion of her. Wynonna seemed to think it was funny more than anything, but then again she was drunk, so it might just be the alcohol talking for her. But it wasn't like she took Wynonna as the homophobic type.

Still, what did liking Nicole mean for her? She wasn't even entirely sure if the officer liked her back. Sure, she was flirtatious and friendly and charming, but so were lots of people towards her. That was the way Purgatory residents had always treated her. And it could just be Waverly seeing what she wanted to see. Sexuality was never something Nicole had mentioned before.

The youngest Earp sibling felt her head pounding and she decided she didn't want to deal with her emotions tonight. She did that every day anyways. Tonight, she just wanted to forget.

Forget that her mother had left, forget that her sister had died, forget that her father had killed himself. Forget that Wynonna left and almost didn't come back. Wouldn't have come back, were it not for the death of Curtis. Forget that it was all her fault, that her existence had put too much financial and emotional strain on her family, and had resulted in the loss of the people she called family. Forget that she was finally beginning to feel again, because she knew where that would lead her. Heartbreak and the loss of yet another person who she dared to let close to her. Forget that every time she dared to love anyone, they left, and it broke her down a little more each time.

Instead, Waverly poured herself another large glass of whiskey and, despite the burn, downed the entire glass in one elongated sip.

* * *

Nicole was startled awake around midnight to the sound of a loud crash outside. Sitting straight up on the couch, she rubbed her eyes and groggily stood, casting her blanket to the side. As she approached the door, Ghost ran in front of her, barking loudly at the door.

"Ghost! Quiet buddy!" she hissed, leaning down to hold him back. Grabbing her gun from its holster and holding it tightly between her hands, she slowly opened the door, seeing that her garbage can was knocked over and the contents had been spilled out onto the ground. She dared not make a sound as she stepped further outside, adjusting her fingers slightly on her gun as she quietly closed the door behind her.

She wouldn't shoot, not until she knew without a doubt that there was a serious threat, and maybe not even then. She had graduated top of her class in the academy after all- She was a trained officer and knew never to fire blindly in an uncertain situation- But if there was an intruder, they didn't need to know that. The threat of a gunshot was usually enough to stop most criminals, even if they possessed their own weapon. Despite doing her best to stay calm and keep level headed, she couldn't deny her surprise to find Waverly Earp stumbling drunkenly at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes glassy and dull in the light from the porch.

"Waves?" she called out worriedly, setting her gun down before approaching her. She looked up groggily, her eyes rolling and her head unable to stay upright. She mumbled something too unintelligible for Nicole to comprehend, but there were tears brimming in the corners of her eyes and she looked terrified.

"Hey, Waves it's me! It's Nicole," she whispered soothingly, pulling the shorter girl into her arms and holding her tightly. Against her chest, Waverly sniffled and hiccuped, salted liquid spilling out over her cheeks. The shorter woman reeked of alcohol and bile. "Shh, it's okay, I've got you," Nicole whispered, stroking her fingers calmingly through the younger woman's hair. "You're okay. You're okay, I'm here." Waverly looked up at her after a few minutes, her cheeks red and her eyes stinging with salt.

"I... I-" she choked on her words, drunk and freezing and still partially crying. Nicole shushed her and led her inside, wrapping her arms around her as she sat the brunette down on the couch. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and jumped up to grab her gun, unloading it and securing it in her holster before pouring a glass of water into a plastic cup for Waverly. When she returned, the shorter woman was trembling, her lip quivering as she tried to speak. Nicole shook her head and kneeled beside her, holding the cup to her lips and helping her take a sip.

Setting the cup down when she had taken a large enough sip to satisfy Nicole, the officer settled into the couch beside her and wrapped an arm around her, holding her close and whispering comforting reassurances in her ear. Waverly only gathered the strength to speak as she curled into Nicole's body, gripping the auburn haired woman's shirt as if her life depended on it.

"I did something bad."

* * *

Waverly woke with a splitting headache, and she groaned loudly as she attempted to sit up. When she looked around, it took her a few moments to recognize that she was in Nicole's apartment. The officer was nowhere to be seen, but Waverly quickly spotted a lengthy note on the table, sitting on a pair of sweatpants and a long T-shirt.

"Hey Waverly, I hope you're feeling a little better this morning! I called Wynonna and it just went to voicemail, but I left her a message and told her you were with me and that you were at my apartment. I didn't tell her that you were drunk or anything- Don't worry. I just said I was sick and that I couldn't go to the store to get medicine, so you brought me some and since it was so late you just stayed here. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen if you're hungry, and I have some spare clothes for you if you want to change before you head out. I know they might be a bit big on you, sorry about that.

I don't know how much you remember telling me last night, and I'm not sure what all you're comfortable with me knowing, so if you want to talk later, you can tell me what you remember and I can fill you in. If there's something you don't want me to know, consider it forgotten. I'd rather talk in person though, if that's okay.

Come by the station later if you feel up to it. I have something I want to show you.

-Nicole"

Waverly held the note against her chest and felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had no idea what she had told Nicole, but at least it didn't seem to have scared her off. She slowly walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of ice cold water. She downed it within seconds after pouring it, and repeated the process twice more before she felt awake enough to go anywhere. She honestly was marveled that she'd managed to find her way to the apartment the night before, considering she didn't even remember the journey.

After taking some time to allow her headache to die down a bit, Waverly changed into the spare clothes and sent a quick text to Wynonna, explaining that she was going to visit Nicole at the station and would be spending the rest of the day at the homestead due to her exhaustion. Squeezing some toothpaste into her mouth and doing her best to rid herself of the bitter taste of alcohol that remained on her tongue, Waverly did her best to make herself look presentable in front of the mirror. She decided after fifteen minutes that her current appearance would have to do.

It was a short walk to the station, but her legs still ached with every step she took, and she felt relief flood through her when the building came into view. Nicole was situated at her desk as usual, her nose buried in her computer screen as she typed what appeared to be a report. Feeling eyes on her, she glanced up to see Waverly standing in the doorway and she jumped up, approaching her quickly.

"Hey! How are you feeling? Are you okay?" she asked, searching her for any sign of discomfort.

"I'm okay. Thank you for the clothes," Waverly was startled at the hoarseness of own voice and she cleared her throat a few times.

"Not a problem. I'm just glad you're alright," Nicole stroked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled, and Waverly gave her a small half smile back.

"Uh... What is it that you wanted to show me?" she asked, thinking back to Nicole's letter.

"Oh, right! Well, I can't actually show you right now, we have to drive there, but my shift ends in about fifteen minutes, is that okay?" it was only then that Waverly looked at a clock and realized it was past 3:00 in the afternoon.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, want me to wait outside?" she asked.

"Nah, you can chill in here. It's not a problem," the taller woman gestured to the small but comfortable office and Waverly took a seat near her desk. Fifteen minutes on the dot later, Nicole shut down her computer and pulled on her jacket.

"It's a long drive, have you eaten yet today?" she asked. Waverly shook her head no and despite her protest, Nicole bought her a bottle of water and a cold sandwich from a local deli.

"Nicole, you really didn't have to do that," she sighed when the officer returned to the cruiser and handed her the bag, but she took a bite of the sandwich anyways, grateful to have food in her stomach again. Nicole's eyes reminded forward and she bit her lip uncomfortably.

"Waverly... Do you remember any of what you told me last night?" she asked after a moment. The brunette shook her head and Nicole tried to smile reassuringly. "Well... You told me that..." she trailed off, suddenly shaking her head. "You know what, let's talk later. This is supposed to be fun," she smiled, and though Waverly wanted to object, she simply nodded in agreement and leaned back in the passenger seat. "Do you want some music?"

Waverly shrugged neutrally and Nicole leaned forward, turning up the radio so that music was just audible in the car. She didn't recognize the song, but she felt a small smile tug at the corners of her lips as she noticed the red haired woman in the driver's seat mouthing along quietly to the words. Out of the corner of her eye, Nicole caught her staring and she blushed, but said nothing, keeping her eyes focused on the road.

Before Waverly knew it, Nicole's cruiser was turning down a familiar road and she looked up in surprise as she parked in an empty lot next to a museum.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, looking around in shock.

"You'll see," Nicole grinned and stepped outside, opening Waverly's door for her and leading her inside the museum. They walked along through the various exhibits, Nicole never letting go of Waverly's hand in her own.

"Seriously Nicole, why are we here?" she couldn't help but laugh slightly. The officer didn't answer her, but rather stopped in front of a familiar statue of Wyatt Berry Stapp Earp. Waverly looked back at the officer in confusion, who only stood with a wide toothed grin on her face and gestured for her to move forward. Cautiously, the brunette stepped towards the statue, looking it over once before looking down at the two informational stands underneath when she found no change in the statue itself.

There was nothing significant about his history, but when Waverly scanned her eyes over the second stand of familiar names and relatives, she froze in shock when her gaze reached the bottom.

"Ward Earp: November 17, 1966 - September 7, 2000"

"Wife- Wendy Rossie: July 24, 1970 - Status unknown"

"Children- Willa, Wynonna, and Waverly Earp"

Waverly's eyes brimmed with tears and she stared with a wide gaze, her mouth slightly ajar and her body frozen in its position. Nicole's voice was what finally snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I just figured that it was about time you were recognized for being an Earp too," she smiled sheepishly, her eyes shining as she gazed down at the brunette.

"Nicole, it's wonderful! Thank you so much!" she threw herself into the taller woman's body, hugging her tightly and laughing through her tears. "Why did you do all this? _How_ did you do all this?"

"I just called the owners of the museum and I explained your situation to them. And after I told them who you were and that you practically have a double life in this museum, they were really excited to have it changed," Nicole explained with a shy laugh. "And I did it because you deserve it Waverly. You're a great person and a wonderful friend, and I wanted to show you that," Waverly's smile faltered at the word friend. In fact, it hit her hard in the chest, and she almost let out a whimper.

"You're a wonderful friend too Nicole," luckily her back was turned to the officer and she was currently facing the stands again, so she had time to regain her composure and put on a fake smile before she turned back around, hugging the ginger once again, but with much less enthusiasm than before.

Nicole would've had to be blind not to notice.

* * *

"Hey, it's about time you turned up! Where have you been?" Wynonna asked from the doorway as Waverly walked up the steps of the porch. Her gaze lifted when she saw a police vehicle parked in the driveway across the yard of the homestead and she looked back at her sister in question.

"Uh, Nicole actually took me to go see a movie," she explained. Wynonna raised an eyebrow and offered a light smirk, but the shorter brunette only rolled her eyes and playfully shoved her sister.

"Relax, it was just a movie," she clarified.

"Mhm," Wynonna only chuckled and shook her head, waving to Nicole from her cruiser. The ginger officer waved back and offered a light smile, watching until they were both safely inside the the door was closed behind them. When the lights in the kitchen shut off, she groaned and let her head fall to her steering wheel. She had called Waverly her friend. A wonderful friend at that, but a friend nonetheless. But Waverly was not a friend.

No, Waverly Earp was something much more special. And she wanted so badly to tell her, to scream it from the rooftops that she was falling fast and hard for this small town kind hearted girl, but Waverly called her a friend back, and she was awkward about it. Like she didn't expect them to be anything more. Of course she didn't want to be more. Girls like Waverly weren't interested in girls like Nicole. They weren't supposed to be. She wasn't even sure why she expected anything different.

Letting out another frustrated mixture between a groan and a whimper, Nicole backed out out of the driveway and slowly made her way down the road back to her apartment, frustration clouding her thoughts the entire way.

"I am such an idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? The next chapter is a big one. The longest, the most dramatic, the most exciting, and unfortunatly, the angstiest haha. Go and tell me what you think guys, I love hearing your feedback!!


	10. It's The Silence That Kills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When faced with a confrontation things take an unfortunate turn for Waverly. Luckily Nicole is by her side, ready to accept her no matter what her past, but that might not be enough to protect her. Meanwhile, Wynonna gets a visit from someone she's not exactly happy to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS
> 
> Hey guys, MAJOR trigger warnings in this chapter. Suicidal tendencies, depression, death, self harm, and mentions of intentional rape. Please read with extreme caution if any of these affect you in any way!! This chapter is very serious and intense, please don't feel obligated to read! If you would like to continue this story and don't feel comfortable with reading this chapter, check out the notes at the end of the work for a less triggering summary.

Waverly couldn't place the origin, but something felt off that morning as she went to work. Nothing was really wrong. In fact, things were good, for once. Well, okay, maybe good was a bit of a stretch, considering that her nightmares had started again due to Willa's approaching birthday, and that she and Nicole were still sitting on an awkward line between friendship and something more. The officer had been in Purgatory for a month and a half now, and their relationship seemed to be riding a steady, ever persistent wave of constancy. _Decent_. That was the word she was looking for. Things were decent.  
  
But decent didn't mean bad, so she was confused and a bit worried about why she felt so strange walking into Shorty's that morning. Maybe her nerves were only making it worse, and she was just blowing things way out of proportion because of her anxiety. Ever since she was a kid she'd struggled with stressful situations. Even if there was none to begin with, the practice of creating something to worry about wasn't lost to the youngest Earp, and she forced herself to calm down.  
  
She had triple checked the list in her mind of things she had to do, and of things that she would possibly have to worry about. As she ran a damp washrag over the bar counters, Wynonna's voice startled her from behind.  
  
"Hey, are you still staying over at Officer Haughtie's place tonight?" she asked nonchalantly, her attention on pouring a shot before downing it quickly.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'm probably heading there after work," she explained, not lifting her gaze. Luckily, Wynonna seemed to have no memory or recollection of her accusations with Gus, but that didn't mean she hadn't noticed their closeness when she was sober. However, unlike drunk Wynonna, sober Wynonna seemed to at least respect her sister's privacy enough not to ask anything that Waverly seemed clearly uncomfortable talking about.  
  
"You guys seem like you're getting along nicely," okay, previous thoughts scratched.  
  
Still, the brunette refused to look at the bartender and only answered with a half hearted "Mhm."  
  
Wynonna raised an eyebrow to this but said nothing more, downing a second shot before letting out a relieved sigh and putting the whiskey back under the counter.  
  
"Guess it's time to open," she yawned and crossed the room with a hesitant walk, resentfully opening the doors. Not two minutes later, a pair of seemingly-already-drunk patrons entered the bar together, laughing and stumbling over each other. "Another day in paradise," Wynonna rolled her eyes towards her sister and Waverly let out a bemused sigh in agreement, turning to the beer taps as her sister tended to the customers. She groaned as she dropped her phone under the storage cabinet where Wynonna hid her own not-quite-so-secret stash of booze, bending down to retrieve the device and praying she hadn't broken yet another screen.  
  
"Well well well, Waverly Earp, it took me years of begging to see you go down on your knees, and yet here you are all because of a phone," the familiar, arrogant voice startled the brunette and she shot straight up, hitting her head hard against the counter in the process but doing her best not to let the pain phase her. She chanced a quick glance at Wynonna, who was busy settling an already heated argument with the same pair of drunken customers. Most of the fights in Shorty's didn't get physical, but lots of times that was simply because Wynonna was more intimidating than any slobbering alcoholic who made his way into the bar and often all she had to do was offer to settle an argument for both parties before they would both quickly back down.  
  
"Uh, Champ, what are you doing here?' she asked, doing her best to keep her voice strong. She didn't fear Champ because of his strength or his tongue. She could easily outwit him any day, though he was unlikely to ever admit that a comeback was ever better than his own, and she had seen Wynonna bring a grown man to his knees in tears before (Though she wouldn't be all that terrible in a fight herself), so she didn't feel that she was at a loss for protection. But, Champ was impulsive, quick to act without thinking things through, and lately any time she had seen her ex he always held a strange yet impossible to clearly read glint in his eyes. Somewhere between a mixture of angry and happy at the same time.  
  
"Why can't a guy just buy himself a drink? Nothin' illegal 'bout that," he winked and flashed her his best attempt at a casual smile, and though she knew Wynonna would be against it, she reluctantly poured him a beer that she already knew was his favorite from years of being forced to smell it on his breath and taste it on his lips. She visibly shuddered at the memory. As she set the mug in front of him, she turned to walk away but was stopped when Champ grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Waves, we need to talk," he pleaded, though his eyes looked anything but sorry. "I miss you."  
  
"I don't want to talk to you," Waverly stood her ground.  
  
"Please Waves, I know you miss me too. Just meet me later, and we can talk this out," his hand didn't move from her arm and she shook her head.  
  
"Champ, I already told you, I'm done. Please let go," she did her best to stay calm, but as she pulled her arm back his grip only tightened and she saw something in her eyes that she didn't quite recognize at first. Champ was immature. He was irresponsible, inconsiderate, and overall an asshole. But something dark flashed in his gaze, and Waverly, for the first time, felt fear building in her chest at his gaze.  
  
"Um, excuse me, but I do believe that this woman here told you she was done," a familiar voice, typically soft but suddenly strict and intense sounded from behind them, and both looked up to see Nicole standing behind Champ. He glared at her before flicking his eyes back to Waverly, then scoffed and let go of her arm. There was a slight bruise there and he chugged the beer in front of him, then stalked out of the building without paying, the door slamming behind him.  
  
"Haught," Wynonna laughed with an amused shake of the head as she approached the bar, "Normally I reserve judgment for those who dare to piss me off, but today I judge you unexpectedly awesome. You certainly have a thing for timing"  
  
"I try," Nicole chuckled, shrugging before turning her attention to Waverly. "Hey, you okay?" she asked, lifting her arm carefully to examine the bruises. Her touch was so different from Champ, so attentive and gentle, that Waverly had to wonder why she had ever enjoyed letting her ex boyfriend put his hands on her. Though, did she ever even enjoy it to begin with? Or was that another part of her charade? It took her a moment to realize that she had yet to answer Nicole's question and that the officer and her sister were looking at her in question.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I'm okay," she lied quickly. "I'm fine, he wouldn't ever really hurt anybody." Waverly wasn't too sure about her words. Nicole didn't release her arm, but she didn't have a hold on it, rather delicately running her hands over the marks. Waverly laughed and shook her head, brushing her hair out of her face quickly. "Really guys, I'm okay. Uh, here, lemme go get you a coffee. The usual?" she was well aware that her voice gave away that she was lying, but Wynonna simply let the issue go with a shake of her head and Nicole stood awkwardly, opening and closing her mouth several times to speak, each time failing to get any words to come out.

* * *

Waverly was still quite shaken up about the previous events with Champ that had occurred earlier in the day, but as she walked up the steps to Nicole's apartment clothed in a pair of black leggings and a sweatshirt with a tank top underneath, the smile on her face was genuine, because despite anything Champ could do to her, she was excited to see the auburn haired cop. Nicole opened the door before she could knock, a practice that had quickly become a normal occurrence as Waverly realized that Ghost and Cato made her ginger friend aware of any nearby presence before they were ever at the door.  
  
"Hey," she offered a smile, and while Nicole reciprocated the gesture, the brunette could see the lack of enthusiasm.  
  
"Hey, how are you doing? You know, from earlier?" she asked, stepping aside to allowed Waverly to step through the door, closing it behind her. Ghost barked at her, but she momentarily ignored the Eskimo in order to answer the taller woman's question.  
  
"I'm okay, really," she placed a gentle hand on Nicole's arm and let it linger for a moment too long. She wasn't quite sure if okay was really the right word for how she was. Maybe dealing with things. But, the minute the familiar vanilla and cinnamon scent of Nicole and her apartment hit her nose, her worries had already began to fade away, and she already felt more at ease than she had all day.  
  
Ghost barked at her feet once more, staring up at her expectantly. Giggling, she knelt to run her hands over his smokey colored fur, laughing as he barked happily and rolled onto his back so she could pet his stomach.  
  
"Well, if you're sure," Nicole still seemed unconvinced, so Waverly took her by the hand and led her into the living room where the couch was already set up with a standard four blankets, Cato possessively perched on top of the pile and licking his paw.  
  
"Hey buddy, think you could share?" the ginger officer asked in a voice that almost seemed like she expected the cat to answer. Instead, he simply looked up at the pair, then jumped down and padded over to Waverly, rubbing against her ankles. She laughed and cradled the bundle of black fur in her arms as she settled into her usual position the couch.  
  
"Okay, I've got scary, cheesy, comedy, and some weird Indie film that the guy at the video rental store practically forced me to take," Nicole explained with a chuckle, holding up a selection of different video boxes.  
  
"I vote for scary. As long as it's good scary and not some cliche gore fest," Waverly laughed. Nicole held her hand to her chest in mock offense and pretended to gasp.  
  
"Waverly Earp, you insult me," she teased, pulling a disc out of a box and setting up the DVD player before joining the younger Earp sister on the couch.  
  
"Only because you make it so easy," Waverly grinned, and the auburn haired woman playfully slapped her arm.  
  
"You're something else, you know that?" Nicole giggled, flipping off the lights before leaning back against the couch cushions and pressing play as the title screen appeared.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, as black and white credits rolled out over the screen and muffled horror music played in the background, Nicole was stirred from her half state of sleep by the sound of whimpering beside her. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the darkness. She tried to stand, but a weight against her side held her firmly in place, and it took her a few moments to realize that Waverly was clinging to her shirt, her legs thrown over her lap and her face buried in the officer's shoulder.  
  
"Waves?" she mumbled quietly, running a hand over the shorter woman's arm.  
  
"I'm sorry," it was barely audible and muffled due to the fact that Waverly's lips were pressed against the fabric of her t-shirt, but it was clear enough to reach Nicole's ears.  
  
"Waverly, why are you sorry? What's wrong?" it wasn't until she didn't receive an answer that she realized the brunette was asleep. She winced loudly again, pulling Nicole closer and trembling.  
  
"Willa... I... I don't want you to go," she whimpered. Nicole had read that you weren't supposed to wake someone while they were sleepwalking or when they were having a violent or emotionally distressing dream, but she couldn't stand to see the younger woman this way.  
  
"Hey, Waverly? Waves, it's me," she mumbled against her ear, shaking her arm gently. "Waves, come on, it's me."  
  
"Willa!" suddenly Waverly sat straight up, drenched in sweat and shaking violently. Her panicked eyes roamed in the darkness wildly until she felt Nicole's hand on her arm, her body acting as a cushion. "N-Nicole?" she stuttered quietly, her voice quivering in fear.  
  
"Oh Waves," she whispered, pulling the brunette into her chest. Waverly didn't even try to stop the tears that began to flow from her eyes, clinging to the taller woman tightly as Nicole ran her fingers through the long, brunette locks. She whispered gently in Waverly's ear, and though the words didn't quite reach her, the sensation of the officer's breath against her skin was enough to help soothe her. When her tears subsided and her breath evened out, Nicole pulled back to wipe her remaining tears from her cheeks.  
  
"Waverly... I really think we should talk about what you told me that night. When you showed up here drunk off your rocker," Waverly sighed, but she nodded in consent. She made mo move to speak though, and however rapid the motion, Nicole still caught her glance down at her arms.  
  
Following Waverly's gaze, she felt her heart lurch as she saw them for the first time, and even in the pale moonlight she wondered how she ever could have missed them. Scars. Long and pink and undoubtedly deep at the time they were made. They ran up the lengths of her arms, not coming to an end until they reached just below the bend in her arm.  
  
"Makeup," Waverly's voice quivered on the word, and she crossed her arms in front of her chest shamefully. Nicole stared for a long moment, watching the girl in front of her shake and look down in self-hatred. Then, without thinking, she gently pulled the brunette's arms from her chest, turning them over and flipping on the dim lamp on the table next to the couch. She held Waverly's hands in her own, her gaze never once leaving the marks, some made years ago, other only months old.  
  
Nicole leaned down and pressed her lips against the most recent scar, barely four months old, startling Waverly enough that she raised her head in surprise, staring with wide eyes at the ginger officer.  
  
"What are you-" before she could continue, the officer laced their fingers together, squeezing gently and delicately running her fingertips down over the brunette's arms.  
  
"Shh," it barely came out in a whisper, but it was enough to stun the shorter woman into silence. She sat frozen while Nicole examined the scars, touching them with such care and grace that Waverly almost forgot they existed.  
  
"What are you doing?" she finally got the courage to ask, looking up into Nicole's eyes.  
  
"I'm accepting it," she didn't break their eye contact as her hands continued. "This is your past. This is your life. This is a part of who you are. I don't just want to know the Waverly you pretend to be. I want to know you. All of you. The good and the bad. These are memories that you want to forget, but you don't have to. I don't want you to. Not with me, not ever." Waverly could only stare at the auburn haired woman in shock, unable to tear herself away from Nicole's dark eyes.  
  
"What did I tell you that night?" Waverly was terrified to ask, but she couldn't regret the words once they were out in the open. They hung in the air for a long moment, Nicole never once breaking eye contact.  
  
"You told me about your mom," she finally began. "About how she was your hero, and about how you always looked up to her. And about your dad, how you thought he was the strongest person alive, and how you always felt like he would protect you. And about..." Nicole paused to take a deep breath, "About Willa, and how you blamed yourself for her death. How you... How you hid the note from Wynonna and your dad, and blamed yourself for everyone leaving." Waverly nodded, finally tearing her gaze away from the auburn haired woman.  
  
"Waverly, you were just a kid, you were terrified," Nicole began, tilting her chin back up to meet her eyes once more. "You didn't do anything wrong. You deserve to be here, just as much as anyone else." Waverly couldn't bring herself to believe it, not after years and years of doubting purpose for her very existence, but the ginger's words were comforting, and she could only nod, leaning into her chest and pressing her nose into the soft fabric of Nicole's sweater. She prayed that the officer wouldn't protest the action, and was flooded with relief when she felt fingers running through her hair. She stayed in Nicole's arms until they both fell asleep.

* * *

Wynonna, despite her suspicions about her sister and a certain red haired officer, was glad to have the house to herself for the night. Not that she didn't enjoy Waverly's company, but...  
  
Well, okay, listening to the shorter brunette rave on about history wasn't exactly her idea of a good time, especially when she had heard lots of it before, but she also knew that the youngest Earp sister didn't have many other people she was close to- Sure, she knew everybody and most people were friendly towards her, but Gus and now Nicole seemed to be about the extension of her circle of influence- And she did her best to be supportive when Waverly opened up about anything she held close to her, which seemed to be happening a lot more recently now that she was spending more time with Nicole.  
  
The way the officer stared at her sister wasn't lost on the bartender- Not even close. It was the same way she looked at whiskey which- Okay, yeah, not the exact same thing, but she knew heart eyes when she saw them. And though Waverly didn't seem completely oblivious, she also didn't seem to feel confident enough yet to approach her about it. Maybe part of that was simply because of her own fear of her feelings for Nicole, but something told Wynonna that the shorter brunette was terrified that they wouldn't be reciprocated if she exposed them.  
  
Nonetheless, the older Earp sibling was glad to have a night to herself, because it meant she could do nothing and there was no one here to tell her otherwise. If there was one thing she liked about the homestead in its age old state with broken heating and electricity that sometimes decided that it didn't feel like working that day, or the fact that it held countless, painful memories of her childhood, it was private, and no one usually bothered her with visiting.  
  
That was why, two hours into a bottle of Crown Royal and binging on 90's TV, a knock at the door was sharp and painful in Wynonna's ears. When she didn't move to open the door right away, the doorbell rung followed by a second round of knocking, and the bartender rolled her eyes.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming, hold your horses," she called, pausing the TV and stretching before reluctantly making her way to the door. When she opened it, she dropped the bottle that had still been clutched in her hand.

* * *

Waverly woke up startled from sleep around 2:00 in the morning, a fact she only knew due to the digital clock nearby, her face stained with dried tears and her hair a tangled mess. She groggily sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking around to see that she was now in Nicole's bedroom, tucked under a mountain of sheets and blankets with the officer nearby. She was facing the other way and curled up on her side, her mouth slightly ajar, a pillow tucked between her arms and her head, and despite her reason for waking, Waverly couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked when she slept.  
  
The nightmare hadn't been about Willa this time, which wasn't entirely surprising. Though Willa's birthday definitely brought up emotions circulating around her sister, her nightmare's topics varied. This time, it was about Champ and Nicole, and though it wasn't exactly a terrifying dream it still struck fear into her heart.  
  
She had been standing in a field, surrounded by darkness on one side, and light on the other.  
  
Champ stood in the darkness, holding out his arms and beckoning her towards him, that same, strange glint of less-than-playful mischief glimmering in his eyes. When she stood beside him, her scars were hidden, she was solid, and she couldn't stop smiling, even though she felt sick inside. When she tried to stop, Champ's arms lowered and he simply glared disapprovingly at her. But, despite this, it was comforting, and familiar, and safe in the darkness.  
  
And in the light stood Nicole, her hand reached out to her and a comforting, reassuring smile on her face. In the light, her scars glowed brightly and she stood transparent, for all the world to see, and there were tears rushing down her face. But even so, she felt so much safer standing beside Nicole than she did with Champ, no matter if everyone could see her scars, even if everyone could see how broken she was inside. Nicole did not lower her hand when she cried- Instead she raised it to wipe her tears away, and cupped her cheek gently.  
  
And then she was back in the middle, faced with a choice. Retreat into the dark, safe world where no one knew her torment, or step into the light, and face the judgments of her community and her family. Before she could choose, however, she felt Champ's hand on her arm again, being dragged into the darkness. She cried out for help but no words came out, and Nicole stared after her sadly, watching her be dragged away.  
  
Waverly knew what she needed to do. She couldn't continue this way. Sending a quick text to a number she didn't know why she still had but knowing the recipient would still be awake, she stared for a few moments at Nicole before pulling on a jacket and walking out her front door.

* * *

"Why are you here?" Wynonna's voice quivered with anger as she stared at the woman in front of her. She was familiar- Long, wavy brunette hair, dark brown eyes, pale skin, thin lips, a small frame- Yet somehow the body in front of her was foreign.  
  
"Wynonna... Baby, let me explain, please-" the dark haired brunette cut her off before she could continue.  
  
"No, you don't get to do this. You don't get to come back in here and just _explain_. There's nothing _to_ explain," the younger woman's eyes brimmed with tears and she closed her eyelids to stop them from falling. This wasn't fair. None of it was fair. No one got to do this to her, to waltz back into her life like it was just that easy because no- No, it wasn't that easy, and someone like that didn't deserve her sympathy- Especially not the woman standing in her doorway.  
  
"Mom, just leave. There's nothing here for you anymore."

* * *

Waverly stood shivering in the alley way holding her jacket closer around her body as she waited. When she saw a familiar body turn the alley corner and walk towards her, she had to force herself not to retreat into the darkness.  
  
"So, you finally came to your senses eh?" Champ grinned, that same stupid, childish smirk she had been dealing with for years that practically screamed how immature he was.  
  
"Yes, I have," she held up a hand to push him back as he tried to step towards her. "I've realized something that I should have a long time ago. You're a drunk who is going to live in Purgatory for the rest of his life. You can dream big about marrying a bar maid in Buenos Aries and traveling the world, but you're never going to set foot out of this town. You're nothing to me, Champ, and you need to leave me alone. We're done, and I'm not going back to you. I deserve better than that," it felt so good to finally say the words to his face, to finally tell him what he was to her, but her relief was quickly replaced with fear as his eyes fell dark.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that," he sneered, stepping towards her and trapping her against an alley wall. "You think you can just get rid of me so easily? I own you, Waverly. You belong to me. You're nothing. Or did you forget the things I know about you?" he smirked, slow and devious and dark.  
  
"You know nothing about me. You don't know who I am, and I don't belong to anyone. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise," even in the face of danger, Waverly wasn't backing down. Not this time. Champ wasn't going to drag her back into the dark. Not again. She'd spent too long there. The taller man leaned forward, his hands on her arms as he held her pinned tightly against the wall and pressed his lips close to her ear.  
  
"Prove it."  
  
Something about his voice, the way the words rolled off his tongue with such ease was worse than anger. Darker than anger. And suddenly, she was flipped around, her front against the wall as he ripped her jacket off and grabbed at the sleeves of her shirt. She felt the cool blade of a knife pressed against her skin, but before Champ could use it, she kicked him hard and watched him stumble backwards. There was no emotion left in his eyes when he lunged for her.

* * *

Wynonna stared at her mother, her eyes daring the older woman to say something to try to defend reasoning for being there. She stared back sadly, her eyes sorrowful and weak. It was only then that the bartender realized how frail she looked, how broken. But, that didn't change the fact that she left them years ago, left them in their time of need and cost them their childhood.  
  
Wendy opened and shut her mouth several times, but each time words failed to come out. Wynonna was about to shut the door on her when her phone rang and she saw that it was Nicole.  
  
"Haught, what do you want? I'm kinda busy here," she grumbled into the phone. Wendy's eyes scrunched in confusion, but she said nothing.  
  
"It's Waverly, I just woke up and she was gone, I can't find her anywhere and I called her but she's not answering so I tracked her phone signal into town and it's not moving and its right by that alley near the drug store, I'm so scared that she... I'm so scared Wynonna," Nicole's voice was panicked and high pitched, and Wynonna could tell she was crying. She was instantly worried, but she knew that if the auburn haired woman was breaking down, she would need to stay strong for her.  
  
"Okay Nicole, calm down. I'm sure Waverly is alright, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Keep the phone signal up, watch it and text me if anything changes. Follow it if it does. If not, meet me there, I'll see you in five minutes," she answered quickly. She heard a choked out "Okay" as she hung up her phone and shoved it into her pocket, glancing up at her mother.  
  
"What happened to Waverly?" she asked in fear, her eyes brimmed with worry.  
  
"I don't know yet, I just... You don't... I can't... Ugh! Just come on, I don't have time for this," Wynonna groaned and raced to her truck, the older woman right on her heels. She sped into town, swerving around corners and keeping her eyes focused on the road. "Come on baby girl, tell me you didn't do something stupid," she mumbled under her breath. She hadn't really meant for Wendy to hear it but if she had, she was too worried to care at the moment. She saw Nicole's cruiser swing around the corner as she pulled up to the drug store, and the officer threw herself out of the vehicle, barely managing to pull the keys out and stop the car before doing so.  
  
With her gun in hand and her eyes wide with fear, she beckoned for Wynonna to follow her as they approached the alley way. She seemed confused by the older woman in the car, but she didn't say anything as they walked. Turning the corner, Nicole saw Waverly lying in a pool of blood, her clothes partially torn, her body beaten and bruised, and her phone cracked, opened and on the keypad as if she were going to call for help but hadn't made it to the device.  
  
The officer was at her side in an instant, screaming for help and telling Wynonna to call 9-1-1. The bartender did as she was told in a rushed panic, her fingers fumbling over the screen of her phone. Wendy stared at her youngest daughter in shock, tears running down her cheeks as she watched the scene in front of her unfold, both at the sight of how beautiful her daughter had grown up to be and by the state she was currently in.  
  
"Waverly, I'm here, it's okay, I'm here," Nicole spoke in a broken whisper, holding Waverly's head in her hand to support her. Waverly's glassy eyes slowly rolled up to look at the taller woman, and she couldn't help but smile. She held a hand up to the officer's chest and coughed slightly. Her eyes flicked over to a darker part of the alley, and it was only then that Nicole noticed a second body lying in the shadows. She set Waverly down gently to investigate, her gun in her hand, and she audibly gasped as she recognized the bruised and bloody body of Champ Hardy himself, curled up in pain on the ground.  
  
Waverly was in worse shape, but he definitely didn't look to be in good conditions himself, with a black eye, a bloody lip, scratch marks on his face, and blood pouring out from his shirt. Nicole looked back at Waverly and returned to hold her again, though she made sure to keep her eyes on Champ. That is, until Waverly tried to speak, and her full attention was instantly back on the shorter brunette in her arms.  
  
"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm here. Don't speak. Wynonna called the ambulance, they're gonna take care of you. You're gonna be okay," her voice broke halfway through her words, and she wasn't sure who she was actually trying to convince, but she did her best to choke them out anyway.  
  
Waverly leaned into her touch and smiled, as best as she could anyways, before she proudly announced, "I didn't let him pull me back in." The words were lost in meaning on the officer, but it suddenly didn't matter. Her vision slipped into darkness, but as she opened her eyes once more, she happily accepted Nicole's still outstretched hand. The tears on her face didn't subside, the smile on her face never left, the darkness faded behind her, her world was flooded with light.

* * *

An hour later Nicole was sitting in the waiting room, her face in her hands as she tried to hold back tears. Not that she was sure she still had any left in her. If she wasn't so worried about Waverly, she would be furious with Champ, but she didn't even have the energy to feel anything but broken inside.  
  
Wynonna sat beside her in a similar state, her hands shaking and her mind racing. Now the bartender was more put together than her ginger counterpart, and was feeling more than just worried or scared. She was pissed, to the point where if it weren't illegal she would barge into Champ's room and kill him personally. She wasn't upset with Nicole- Far from it, actually. She knew the auburn haired woman was just as scared for Waverly. Maybe even more so.  
  
Waverly was in emergency surgery, as one of her arteries in her leg had been partially severed by a stab wound, and the blood loss was massive. Champ was also in intensive care, though his injuries were far less severe or life threatening. They had been informed that Waverly's procedure would take a good four or five hours, so all they could do was wait in tense silence. Wendy sat across from the pair and stayed silent, keeping her gaze fixated on the ground and her hands locked together in her lap.  
  
Wynonna didn't protest when Nicole's head fell on her shoulder, or when she felt tears falling onto the fabric of her shirt. She took the officer's hand and held it tightly, squeezing reassuringly.  
  
"Hey, she's a fighter. She's gonna be alright," the bartender's voice wavered only slightly, but they were seemingly enough to either convince the ginger of her words or she simply didn't have the strength to protest it. She stayed leaned into Wynonna's side until she felt strong enough to sit upright on her own. Wynonna gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before returning her hand to the armrest. It was only when Nicole was once again supporting herself that she was able to think about anything other than Waverly, and her eyes slowly traveled up to look over the older woman across the room.  
  
"I... I don't mean to, uh..." she coughed awkwardly, clearing her throat and catching both Wendy and Wynonna's attention. It was the first time that she had said a word since their entrance to the hospital. "Uh... Who are you?' she finally asked. Wynonna let out a humorless laugh, her eyes dark and her gaze fixed solely on the older woman. She spat her words and sneered as she introduced Wendy.  
  
"Well Nicole, this is who I _used_ to call my mother."  
  
Wendy visibly cringed, and Nicole's eyes widened in shock, her lips unable to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, SEASON 3!!!!!!!!! I can't begin to even explain how excited I am about this!!!!!!!! Also, after seeing how horrible Willa was to Waverly I kinda feel bad about making her a loving character in this story, but I didn't have a way to explain her death supernaturally and her death being both natural and heartbreaking added to the storyline. This does not in any way indicate that I approve of Willa's abuse of Waverly on the show, I just wanted to clarify. So, that said, how did you all like the chapter?
> 
> For those that did not want to read but would still like to continue with this story, here is a summary for you: Waverly feels something is wrong one morning in Shorty's, and due to Willa's upcoming birthday she is once again having nightmares like she does every year. Not long after opening Champ shows up and gets aggressive with her, but luckily Nicole shows up and steps in to stop him. Waverly tries to pretend that she is okay, but it's pretty clear she's not. At a sleep over with Nicole, she reveals scars from self harm- Some are old, some are more relevant, and Nicole surprises her by telling her she accepts her for her past, no matter what it is. They proceed to talk about the night Waverly showed up drunk at Nicole's apartment. Back at the homestead, Wynonna is enjoying a night at home, when her mother Wendy shows up at the door. At Nicole's apartment, Waverly wakes from a dream about choosing Champ or Nicole. She is dragged into a world of darkness by Champ, and decides to confront him once and for all in order to move on. When they meet in an alley way near a drug store, Champ gets aggressive and things escalate violently and quickly. Wynonna tells her mother to leave, but then Nicole calls, worried that she woke and couldn't find Waverly anywhere. She tracks her phone signal and Wynonna reluctantly drags Wendy along as they meet in town where the signal leads them. They find Waverly battered and bruised, but nearby is Champ, not complete without a few of his own battle scars. Waverly reveals to Nicole that she didn't let Champ "Drag her back into the darkness" before blacking out and continuing her dream, where she now feels free to choose Nicole and leave both Champ and the charade she was playing behind. Waverly is admitted to the hospital, and rushed into surgery due to a damaged artery, and as they wait to hear results Nicole finally gains the courage to ask about Wendy's identity. Wynonna arrogantly reveals that the woman is her mother, or used to be anyway, not complete without a sarcastic laugh.
> 
> Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, or if you simply read the summary above, I hope you'll enjoy the next one! So, be honest, what did you guys think? I told you it was gonna be dramatic!!


	11. Between You And Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy's visit certainly complicates things, especially with Waverly's newly sustained injuries and some new information that Nicole finds out about Champ's defense, but will they stand for it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Chapter 11! I can't believe how far along this story is so far, not to mention how much more there is to come! There's WayHaught that hasn't even happened yet, Nicole's family history, and the Earp girls still dealing with demons from their past. Stay tuned and enjoy the chapter, please comment your thoughts!!

"You... You're..." Nicole couldn't bring herself to say it as she stared at the woman across from her.  
  
"Wendy Ea- Uh... Rossi," she corrected herself quickly. She might have never divorced Ward officially, and her last name may have still been shared with her daughters- Assuming they weren't married, that is- But she decided this definitely wasn't the place to discuss something like that.  
  
"She just showed up at the homestead when you called, and I didn't know what else to do with her," Wynonna rolled her eyes.  
  
"I didn't come to intrude, and I don't expect you to forgive me for what I did, I just had to see you. I had to see my daughters again," Wendy tried to explain. Wynonna scoffed, on the edge of a harsh, barked out laugh.  
  
"And did you ever stop to think while you were leaving all those years ago that maybe we wouldn't exactly want to talk to you?" she snarled. She felt anger bubbling under her skin as she challenged Wendy to find an excuse that would pardon her actions. But then, she looked at Nicole, and for the first time she was actually scared of the normally timid officer.  
  
If Wynonna was angry, Nicole was royally pissed, her eyes narrow and her hands shaking. Her teeth were clenched together to keep her from speaking, and it was everything she had not to explode on the older woman. How dare she try to come back into Waverly's life, after what she'd done to them? Willa being sick or not, her leaving ruined the Earp sisters lives, and cost their dad his life.  
  
"I know, and I can't ask you to forgive me. Where... Where's your father?" she was almost afraid to ask. Despite their constant fighting during Willa's illness, she had loved Ward, and she couldn't bear to tell him the truth in fear he might chase after her, and that she might not have the strength to resist. Wynonna laughed again, almost cruel in her tone.  
  
"Daddy shot himself after Willa's death," she happily rubbed the revelation in Wendy's face, to see her in such shock and pain. Currently, Wynonna didn't care about the guilt gnawing away in her stomach. It felt too good to see the way her mother's face fell, her eyes brimmed with tears at the news of the inevitable loss of her daughter and the surprising loss of her husband. "He loved you, ya know. They both did. Even after you left, they loved you so much. Waverly cried for months. Willa died three days after you left. Waverly saw Daddy shoot himself in the head a week later."  
  
Nicole felt her gut twist at the memory of a drunken Waverly spilling her life story not long ago. True, Wynonna had given her most of the details of what she knew, but hearing it from Waverly herself added a whole new level of heartache. Wendy sat stunned into silence, her lips quivering as she tried to think of something to say. She never did, and the room slipped back into silence, one even worse than before.

* * *

It felt like days had passed before the doctor stepped out into the waiting room. Nicole shot straight upwards instantly, fear evident on her face. Wynonna quickly followed suit, but Wendy remained seated, her eyes glued to a spot on the floor.  
  
"Waverly is gonna be okay. The surgery went well, the artery wasn't as damaged as we initially thought. She's gonna be in a lot of pain for awhile. She probably wont walk properly for a few months, and she may have a limp for a good year, but she's gonna be just fine," Nicole had never been so relieved in her life and she threw her arms around Wynonna, tears streaking down her face. When they separated, she wiped her eyes quickly.  
  
"Can... Can we see her?" she asked quietly, her voice quivering.  
  
"She's still sleeping, but family can visit," he clarified. Nicole's face fell.  
  
"Oh," her voice was quiet as she sat back down, her gaze lowering. Wynonna looked down guiltily at her, then back up at the doctor.  
  
"She's family," Wynonna lied quickly, placing her hand on Nicole's back. The ginger's head shot up quickly in surprise, and the bartender held out a hand. "She's more family than almost anyone else I know," Wynonna chanced a judgmental glare at her mother before looking back up at the doctor, "And Waverly is going to want to see her." He eyed the pair suspiciously, seeing the fear and pain clearly evident in Nicole's gaze, and sighed softly.  
  
"Go ahead back, Miss. Her room is the last one on the right, fourth floor. But if anyone asks, I didn't know about this," he offered a small, knowing smile and Nicole felt like she could hug Wynonna again. But, she knew it wasn't the time or place, so she kept to herself. Wynonna nodded gratefully towards him as he turned and walked down the hallway, before looking back at Wendy.  
  
"Well?" clear annoyance rang out through her tone. "You came to see your daughters, are you coming or not?" Nicole was about to tell Wynonna that it might not be the best idea for Waverly to see her runaway mother so soon after waking up, but the bartender had just gotten her the permission to go see the brunette herself, and she didn't feel like disagreeing with her. Wendy looked up in surprise, but even under Wynonna's harsh gaze she stood and followed them back to Waverly's room.  
  
Once inside, it was everything Nicole had in her to hold back a sob. Waverly looked more machine than human, her body hooked up to multiple IV's, some with bags of blood, others with simple saline fluid. Her hair was stringy and in a tangled mess behind her head, her lips were pale and chapped, and her skin looked a clammy shade of off white. Nicole was by her side in an instant, kneeling down by her bedside and cupping her face in her cheek. Her skin felt cold and unfamiliar against her touch, but she ignored it as tears brimmed the corners of her eyes.  
  
"Oh Waves," she couldn't hide the brokenness in her voice and she choked back more tears, brushing a strand of brunette hair gently behind her ear. She inhaled sharply, her breath shaking as she looked down at the girl in front of her. She looked so small, so fragile, as if a single wrong touch would completely break her.  
  
Wynonna was next at her other side, taking one of her sister's hands in her own and squeezing hard, but not so hard that it would cause her pain. She coughed to hide the fact that she was trying not to cry, sniffling hard and wiping her eyes with her free arm.  
  
"C'mon baby girl, don't do this to me," she laughed quietly, holding Waverly's hand tightly against her chest. Wendy kept her distance, staying in the far corner of the room awkwardly with her hands clasped together in front of her and her eyes once again finding a spot to focus on in the patterns on the floor. Nicole was now ignoring her tears as they flowed, letting her head fall to rest against the side bar of the hospital bed, taking Waverly's hand between her own and holding it close to her. She wasn't sure how long she stayed like that, but when she moved again Wynonna was sleeping as well, her head uncomfortably resting in a hanging position, and the tears on her face had dried.  
  
Wendy was still awake, sitting in a chair in the far corner of the room, but she didn't seem to realize that Nicole was still awake. She decided that now was as good a time as any to talk to the older woman.  
  
"Did you really leave because of Willa?" her voice seemed to startle Wendy and she jumped slightly, looking up at the ginger in surprise. She glanced anywhere but into the officers eyes, twisting her hands together nervously.  
  
"I loved them," she blurted out quickly. " Ward was the love of my life, and my children... My Waverly... Oh, my little angel," her voice softened and she trailed off slightly as she stared at her daughter. "My family was everything to me. But I couldn't stay and watch Ward's drinking tear us apart more than Willa's death already was. And I couldn't deprive him of his children. They were his whole world." Nicole finally let herself go at the older woman's words. She didn't care about being polite anymore.  
  
"You left them!" she suddenly snapped, startling Wendy enough that she shrunk back. "They needed you, and you left them! They were just kids, and you knew Willa was dying!" Maybe this was overstepping, and maybe it wasn't her place, but dammit Nicole was angry and she was going to say what she knew Waverly could never say. Dropping the younger Earp sister's hand, she stood and walked around the bed.  
  
"You knew what was happening, and you ran. You forced them to grow up before they were even teenagers. Waverly wasn't even old enough to know why Willa was dead! And yet you left them in the care of a drunk whose daughter was about to pass away, and you didn't even have the decency to explain yourself! You left without knowing if they would ever know why," Wendy opened her mouth to object, but the officer continued without giving her a chance to interrupt.  
  
"Waverly figured it out. She found the email in your drawer. She knew there had to be something behind your actions, because she's a _genius_. But wait, _you_ wouldn't know that, because for the past fifteen years you've been out doing god knows what, not even knowing how badly you hurt them. And now, you come back after all this time, thinking that  _anything_ you say could make what you did to them right. You're a coward, and you don't get to come here and beg for forgiveness that you don't deserve," Nicole was shaking and Wendy's eyes were full of guilt, but she offered a small, impossible to read smile.  
  
"You're right. I shouldn't have come," she looked Nicole in the eye, then walked towards Waverly's small frame. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, then placed a hand on Wynonna's shoulder. Then she walked out without another word, and for a few moments the auburn haired woman was frozen in shock, both at the reaction she received and at what she'd just done.  
  
"Damn Haught," a voice from behind startled her and she whipped around to see Wynonna sitting up and staring at her through drooping eyes. "That was some outburst."  
  
"Wynonna, I... I didn't know y-you were awake," she stuttered, her breath catching in her throat.  
  
"I've been awake for awhile, but I didn't exactly feel like making conversation," she chuckled, though her eyes were filled with tears, and it dawned on Nicole that Wynonna hadn't known about the printed email.  
  
"I... I didn't mean to say all that, I just know..." she trailed off, unable to continue.  
  
"That Waverly could never say it for her. Don't worry, it's just between you and me," Wynonna finished, and the officer nodded. "So... Waverly found a... An email?"  
  
"It... It was something your mom hid in her drawer, along with the dress for Willa. It said that the treatments were failing. It basically told her to prepare for the worst," Nicole explained with an apologetic sigh. Wynonna nodded but she said nothing, her hold on her sister's hand visibly loosening.  
  
"I'm glad she told someone, even if it wasn't me. When mom left she... Well, she really lost it. And then Willa and Daddy, and... Well, you know," the bartender trailed off, and the ginger woman nodded.  
  
"How long has it been since we fell asleep?" Nicole tried to change the subject, glancing around the room for a clock.  
  
"A few hours, at least," Wynonna gestured to the sky outside the window, where feint rays of sun slipped through the otherwise cloudy sky, and it was then that the red haired woman realized they had been at the hospital for at least 8 hours- If not then more- Waiting for Waverly's surgery to be complete and now sleeping by her side. A small groan pulled both women from their thoughts and Nicole was back at Waverly's side in a heartbeat, clutching her hand and positioning herself in the chair that she didn't remember pulling up.  
  
Eventually, Waverly's eyes slowly began to open, clouded over and weak. Neither Wynonna nor Nicole said a word as she woke, neither wanting to startle her or bombard her with questions. Waverly let out another whimper of discomfort, her entire body aching in pain. Her wide eyes scanned the room rapidly, eventually coming to a stop on the officer next to her bed.  
  
"N-Nicole?" her voice was small and broken, and the taller woman couldn't help throwing her arms around her. She was careful not to squeeze so as not to inflict any discomfort, but nonetheless Waverly hugged back as best as she could. She turned to Wynonna next, hugging her as well, and despite her previous discomfort she hugged back as tightly as she dared.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she began, her eyes brimming with tears. "I didn't-" Nicole cut her off, shushing her and holding a finger against her lips.  
  
"It's okay, you don't need to explain anything right now. Just relax," the ginger held a hand down on her shoulder gently, stopping her from sitting up completely. Waverly instantly melted into the touch, but before she could respond, a knock came from her door. When it opened, Nedley stood in the doorway, a worried grimace on his face.

* * *

"So... We need to talk," Wynonna's voice was reluctant and low, and she refused to make eye contact.  
  
"About what? Is this about Nicole?" Waverly asked nervously.  
  
"What?" Wynonna's head snapped up in surprise. "Why would this be about Nicole? Is there something about her to talk about?"  
  
"What, no!" Waverly answered a little too quickly, and the older woman raised an eyebrow. The brunette winced and let her head fall back on her pillow, groaning loudly. "Well, I don't know. Maybe? I... I've never felt like this before. But, I don't know what...  _This_ is."  
  
"Well, I'm definitely not the feelings expert here. Hell, I can't even work out my _own_ feelings half the damn time. But if we're being honest, you two act like you're already together. Some people already think you are," that was partially a lie- Only Wynonna, Gus, and possibly Nedley thought they were anything more than friends, unless there were some opinions she wasn't aware of- But that counted for something, right?  
  
"I know. And I like that. It's so easy with her, so easy to be myself, to open up, to talk about anything I can't talk to other people about," she covered her face with a pillow, letting out another loud whimper into the fabric.  
  
"Then why is it so hard?" Wynonna questioned, leaning forward and gently pulling the pillow off her face.  
  
"Because I can't lose her. I already lost so many people in my life, and I... I can't get so close to someone who might run," she explained with a sigh.  
  
"Nicole Haught is not going to run from you. Have you seen the way she looks at you? You're like the sun in the morning to her. You aren't going to lose her, I promise. But..." Wynonna trailed off, pausing to think about how to tell Waverly about their mother's visit.  
  
"But what?" she asked, sitting up and staring in question at her sister.  
  
"Well... Speaking of people who we've lost... There's something I need to tell you."

* * *

"So they're saying he can't even be charged?" Nicole was still in outraged shock, though she was doing her best to keep her voice low so as not to alarm Waverly or Wynonna to the situation.  
  
"No, that's not what they're saying. They're just saying... Well, they're going to use defense on the grounds of insanity, and they're going to say that Waverly met with him willingly. Because she was with him for so long and because he had been aggressive towards her in the past, she must have known that he was mentally unstable, and therefore she supposedly put herself at risk," Nedley sighed, shaking his head sadly.  
  
"That's bullshit!" Nicole cried, banging her fist against the wall. "Fuck that! He assaulted her! He tried to rape her! Of course he's crazy, but that doesn't mean he deserves any less of a punishment!" at this point the officer didn't care about trying to be discreet, and Nedley's eyes nervously scanned the room before he sighed again.  
  
"I know. But his lawyers are going to say that no mentally sane person could commit such a gruesome act, and therefore he shouldn't receive jail time, rather treatment in a psych ward. Don't worry, we're still making the arrest, and so far we can still post bail and keep him in holding. I'm only saying that the trail isn't going to be black and white," he explained. Nicole shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.  
  
"Un-fucking believable. Someone tries to rape and kill someone else, but because she "knew he was mentally unstable" she's suddenly at fault? This is how our justice system works?" her face fell into her hands and she shook her head. "What happens if... If he wins? If they get a jury to believe he's mentally unstable?"  
  
"Then he'll get sent to a treatment center instead of a jail sentence," Nedley explained with a shake of his head.  
  
"So he gets to go "get help" for five years or so then he gets away with assault? Are you serious?" by this point Nicole was seething. "That's fucki-" the older man cut her off before she could finish getting the word out, but by that point the profane base word already hung in the air.  
  
"Look, I know it's not fair Nicole, but we're gonna get him. I promise you, we aren't gonna let him get off so easily. Don't say anything yet. If we can prove he's legally sane before the trial, the defense falls apart. We're gonna keep an eye on him. He'll slip up. They always do," Nedley placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a small smile. "Go relax with them, take some time off. You need it," she instantly shook her head at his words.  
  
"No, sir, I've been here just short of two months and I've already missed so much because of a concussion and being sick, I'm fine," she promised, and she shook his head with a small laugh.  
  
"Haught, you're a good cop. Be in first thing tomorrow, if you're up for it, but I know how you and the Earp girls are. They could use someone like you. They don't have many other people sticking around for them," he glanced over at their room.  
  
"Uh... Thank you sir," she nodded slowly.  
  
"And Haught, between you and me? I think you're a much better suitor for Waverly than Champ was," he chuckled again and started walking away. "You're gonna be a damn good sheriff," the words didn't seem to be meant for her ears so Nicole said nothing, but she felt a small surge of pride in her chest that Nedley thought she could be sheriff. Turning back to the room, the ginger faked a smile and reentered the room where Wynonna had passed out again and Waverly sat in wait for her to return.

* * *

"So... Mom was really here?" Waverly's voice quivered and Nicole bit her lip, glancing nervously at Wynonna in the mirror. She kept her eyes focused on the road, thinking about what to say next. Her sister and Nicole sat in the back of her truck, the brunette's head in her lap. They were officially released from the hospital late the next night, after giving Waverly a prescription for painkillers and making sure that she was stable. She wasn't to attempt walking for a week, and would be on crutches for at least a month and a half afterward. Despite promising Nedley that she would be at work, she couldn't bear to leave Waverly's side other than to run to her apartment and change clothes. When the brunette held tightly to her hand and asked her to stay, her heart melted into a puddle and she didn't think of leaving again.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, she was here," the bartender finally admitted. They reached the homestead before anyone spoke again.  
  
"What did she say?" the shorter woman finally dared to ask, keeping her head lowered in Nicole's lap.  
  
"She came to try and apologize for leaving. She said she still loved you and she just had to see who you had become... And then I-" before Nicole could continue, Wynonna cut her off.  
  
"I sent her away," she lied quickly. Nicole stared at her through the mirror, but the older woman continued anyway. "I told her that she didn't get to do this to us, and that we deserved better. I... I hope you're not mad Waves, I just... I couldn't let her hurt us again. She did it before, and she would've done it again." For a long moment Waverly said nothing, and Nicole held her breath until she did.  
  
"I wish I would've seen her," she let out a harsh laugh, her eyes empty and cold. "I wish I would've told her..." she paused, choking back a sob. "I wish I coul have just told her what she did to me... What she made me go through."  
  
"I know," Nicole ran her fingers through the brunette's long strand of hair and helped her sit up before Wynonna jumped out and they helped her to her feet. Waverly took a single step and winced, her leg buckling under her, and before Wynonna could suggest anything Nicole slipped a leg under her knees and picked her up single-handedly.  
  
"You okay Haughtsauce?" there was a small hint of amusement in the bartender's voice- Much less than usual, but it was still there, and it was slightly relieving to hear.  
  
"I got her," she promised, though she was looking at Waverly when she spoke. The shorter woman wrapped her arms around the officers neck and melted into her embrace, keeping her nose pressed against the fabric of Nicole's t-shirt as she carried her inside.  
  
As they approached the door, Wynonna pulled off a note that had been taped on the front, flipping it over to reveal a fully covered page of neatly written words. She read over the first few lines and sighed, then looked up at her sister and the policewoman.  
  
"It's from mom."

* * *

 _"My dearest Waverly and Wynonna._  
  
_I know you both have questions, and to be honest, I don't have answers. I still remember the day you were both born. Willa was too little to remember Wynonna, but when I told you both about Waverly, gosh you were both so excited. Wynonna, you even asked if you could be her second mommy. Willa had just been diagnosed, and Ward was broken hearted, even when I told him I was pregnant. But Waverly, when you were born, he fell in love with you instantly. But, Willa was getting sicker by the day, and it was taking a toll on us both._  
  
_By the time you were 1, Willa's cancer was already in stage 2. That wasn't the worst news in the world, but the treatments weren't working, and we were supporting a family of five. The hospital just kept sending bills. We couldn't sacrifice treatment, so we sacrificed each other. Your father worked two extra jobs whenever he could get hired, but he started drinking, and he couldn't keep a job for more than a few weeks at the most._  
  
_When she was in stage 3, we could barely afford the house. I even started working extra shifts when your dad was home, but none of it was enough. I couldn't even buy you Christmas presents. Luckily Waverly was still too young to understand, but that was the night that Wynonna found out that Santa Claus wasn't real. I don't even know if you remember that._  
  
_I know you both remember the night I left. Willa was still asleep, and I couldn't bear to wake her. I don't even know if I could. I got an email from the hospital saying the treatments weren't working, and to prepare our goodbyes. I couldn't stay and watch us fall apart more than we already had. So I left. I know I was a coward back then, and I'm still a coward now, for showing back up in your lives and expecting anything but anger. You deserve to be angry._  
  
_I wont come back again. I don't need redemption, and I don't need you to forgive me. I don't want to put you through that. I'm just glad I got to see you one last time before I'm gone. You've grown up into such beautiful young women, and it's enough knowing you're both okay. Waverly, I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I hope you fully recover. I love you both._  
  
_Mom."_  
  
After Wynonna finished reading the letter, a long moment of silence followed. Waverly pushed back her tears and buried her face in Nicole's shoulder, and immediately the officer's fingers were threading through her hair, pulling her close. Wynonna folded the letter into thirds and set it down on Waverly's dresser, letting out an exasperated sigh.  
  
"So..." she trailed off, her eyes low.  
   
"I... I'd rather not try to process any of this right now," Waverly admitted, keeping her nose against Nicole's shirt. "Can we just try to forget it for now and talk about this tomorrow? Please?" Wynonna nodded, then turned on the TV. The first thing that came up was the local news for the county, and on the screen was a woman standing in front of a car, the frame completely crushed against a tree as if it were nothing more than a beer can and smoking, as if it had been on fire. It seemed to be a continued story from earlier in the day. At the news anchor's words, all three women were sent into shock.  
  
"The driver of this 1975 Ford Cortina has now been identified by officials as 46 year old Wendy Rossi thanks to drivers license that was found in the console. Nothing else has yet been recovered from the accident, and witnesses say that she had been driving at a reasonable pace, but once she rounded the corner, she immediately sped up and crashed full force into the tree. The impact of the crash killed her instantly, and paramedics say it's unlikely that she felt any pain before her death."


	12. Ashes In The Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna and Waverly invite Nicole to help them with the disposal of Wendy's ashes, and Waverly has some convincing to do to assure Nicole she isn't responsible for her mother's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm assuming most of you have seen the new episode, poor WayHaught!! :( I hope things get back to normal with them soon, Nicole definitely made a mistake but she isn't a bad person! Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, sorry it's pretty depressing :(

No one said a word as Wynonna flipped the TV off, or as she and Nicole helped Waverly into a more comfortable position on the couch, or as the officer sat on the floor, her head between her knees, while the bartender across the room pulled her knees to her chest. In fact, Waverly's harsh laugh was the first thing that broke the silence, and it startled the officer nearby.

"So. This is how it ends," she didn't seem like she was meaning to say anything out loud, rather her thoughts were just slipping out. "This is what she does when things get hard. She just runs and makes herself the victim."

Another long moment of silence passed. Nicole held a hand over her mouth to keep from sobbing, and Wynonna felt sick in her stomach, but both did their best to hide their reactions.

"I'm glad you sent her away," her voice was quieter now, but she looked up at Wynonna. Nicole's breathing hitched and she choked back a sob.

"It wasn't her," the officer's voice trembled as she spoke.

"Haught-" Wynonna's tone was nervous, but she continued anyway.

"It was me. I told her... I said she didn't deserve to see you."

Waverly didn't say anything, she just looked between her sister and the auburn haired woman on the ground. When no one said anything else, Nicole stood, then bolted for the door.

"Wait, Nicole!" Waverly shouted after her, but it was too late. The red head was already outside, racing down the street in tears, her breathing heavy and her heartbeat trashing violently against her chest. Wynonna pushed Waverly down and held her in place to keep her from trying to stand.

"Let her go. She probably feels terrible, let her calm down and then you guys can talk," she soothed the younger woman, still struggling against her grip.

"But I... I don't want her to... I'm not mad at her!" she cried, fearful tears spilling over the corners of her eyes. "I'm not... I didn't..."

"I know, I know," Wynonna pulled her into a tight hug, holding the smaller woman against her chest. But the hug was not simply to soothe Waverly, because deep down, even if her sister wasn't upset, she was. And she had no idea why.

* * *

Wynonna didn't want to throw a funeral. Wendy didn't deserve her sympathy. In fact, she didn't deserve anything. Not her tears, not her regrets, not her pain. And yet, she had them all. Despite the hatred in the bartender's heart towards her mother, she couldn't hide the pain she felt.

It wasn't because she missed her. That much she knew. It was more that she was angry.

Angry that her mom was allowed to get away with what she did to them so many years ago. Angry that she had come back, expecting to explain it all away with some heartfelt apology, as if it would make up for all the years she was gone, all the years they had spent drowning in depression and sorrow. Angry that when she finally came back and found that she couldn't just talk her way out, she had run again, and put the spotlight on herself.

Wynonna refused to throw her a funeral. Waverly didn't push for one. In fact, she wanted one less than her sister. The girls had her body- Or at least what remained of it from the crash- Cremated, but they struggled with what to do with the ashes.

They definitely didn't want them spread near the homestead with Willa's, and they didn't want her buried with Ward. If Wynonna were being perfectly honest, she didn't think her father deserved a funeral either, but she was only 12 at the time of his suicide so she didn't ever really get a say in what happened to his body. Gus and Curtis were in charge of those arrangements, but now Wendy's ashes sat in a black urn above the fireplace, until her daughters decided on what to do with them.

"We could just pitch them," Waverly suggested a few days after the cremation. It seemed a bit heartless to just toss their own mother's ashes, but she held no sympathy for the woman in her heart. "I mean, we're not letting her be with Willa, and she certainly doesn't deserve something special."

"No. Not she doesn't but... Would you really be okay with that? I know you guys were close, before..." Wynonna trailed off. There was no need for her to finish.

"Nona, I'm fine. Really. I already mourned her loss," she explained. The bartender nodded and leaned over, holding a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. She looked up at the urn, leaning into her sister's shoulder and letting out a shaky sigh.

"I guess we gotta find somewhere to get rid of them."

* * *

For the next two weeks, Nicole avoided the Earp sisters like wildfire. Not that it was easy. Shorty's was closed with a note explaining that until Waverly was more comfortable on crutches they wouldn't be open, so physically avoiding the pair wasn't exactly a challenge. But ignoring the calls and texts, going nowhere but straight home right after work and not leaving unless it was absolutely necessary- That definitely wasn't easy for the officer. It wasn't until Waverly showed up at her apartment exactly two weeks after her discharge from the hospital that they spoke again.

Nicole pulled up in her cruiser, parking it next to her Dodge Charger, and she immediately spotted the younger Earp's car parked nearby, it's owner sitting on the steps up to her door, her leg in a brace and a pair of short crutches leaning against the rail. She was hesitant to exit her vehicle, taking a moment to draw in a shaky breath before stepping out and walking towards her.

"Hi," she greeted quietly, her eyes avoiding Waverly's at all costs.

" _Hi_?" Waverly stood, or gave it her best attempt, and it was everything Nicole had not to reach out and help her. "You haven't returned any of my calls or even texted me in weeks, and all you can think to say is 'hi'? Is that it?"

"I don't know what to say to you Waverly," Nicole admitted guiltily, her eyes on the ground. "What do I say to someone when I'm responsible for killing their mother?"

"Nicole..." Waverly's tone instantly softened and the officer did her best to keep her tears at bay. She collapsed down on the steps next to the brunette and buried her face in her hands, her head resting against her knees. The shorter woman wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, wincing as she noticed the way the auburn haired woman tensed at her touch.

For awhile they stayed like that, sitting in each others arms as Nicole cried. Eventually she sat up, wiping her eyes roughly with the backs of her hands and sniffling hard.

"I... I'm so sorry Waves... I didn't mean for any of this to happen," her voice, usually strong and put together, was suddenly quiet and broken, and her lip trembled with every word.

"I know, I know. But you didn't cause any of this Nic. Really. My mom was a mess for a long time before she came back here. That's probably why she came back in the first place. She was looking for someone to take her in. To be perfectly honest, I already grieved for her death," Waverly admitted. The officer looked up at her in confusion, signifying that she needed to further explain.

"When mom left, she may as well have died. I was heartbroken. My world fell apart. And for the past 14 years, she had been dead. I didn't even see her when she came back. And even though she hasn't been dead until now... To me, she has been. Does that make sense?" Waverly asked. Nicole nodded slowly, but the guilt in her chest didn't ease completely.  
  
"I just feel like... Like maybe you could have gotten some closure... Some sense of ease from talking to her... But because of me, you'll never get that chance," she explained quietly. The brunette leaned over and pressed her lips against Nicole's hair, startling the taller woman, but she didn't currently have the energy to react.  
  
"I already got my closure. When you came along, and I started facing my problems head on. Since I've met you, I feel lighter. I haven't smiled like this in years. Nicole, you bring out something in me that I thought was gone. Wynonna too. We need you," she paused, looking up into the ginger's deep gaze and her brown doe eyes. "I need you," she continued, never once breaking eye contact.  
  
Suddenly Nicole was aware of how close they were sitting, how easily she could feel Waverly's breath against her lips, how their noses were only milimeters away from brushing against each other, and she leaned back quickly, breathing in sharply and blinking a few times. The brunette's eyes flashed with a brief moment of what looked to be disappointment, but it was gone as quickly as she blinked.  
  
"So, Wynonna and I are going to go dump her ashes later today... Will you come? I know it's not the most exciting or uplifting experience, but I just really need someone there with me and I-" Nicole cut Waverly off by holding up her hand and nodding her head.  
  
"Of course I'll go with you."

* * *

As promised, Nicole showed up to the homestead before the Earp sisters left the house, though she wore a pair of black jeans and a dark colored sweater, and she drove her Dodge Charger, not her cruiser. Waverly felt a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips when she saw the ginger approach, and she couldn't help leaning into her as soon as she was in proximity.  
  
"Hey Waves, how's your leg feeling? I'm sorry I forgot to ask earlier," Nicole asked, an arm immediately snaking around her shorter companion's waist and holding her close.  
  
"It's okay. It hurts, but I'll be fine. It's already getting easier to walk. So, uh... Have you heard anything yet? About... About Champ?" Waverly asked quietly, staring up at the officer with her hazel-green eyes. Nicole felt her heart break. She hadn't the courage to tell her that he may get away with his crimes, especially not now, when they were about to completely part with the woman who they called their mom.  
  
"Um, not much yet. He's in holding right now, and the bail is as high as it can be set," that was true, and at least by sparing the details Nicole wasn't totally lying, just withholding some of the truth. "How are you doing? With all this?" she asked quietly.  
  
"I'm okay. I think Wynonna is having a harder time with all this. She never really grieved over any of this. She was always trying to be strong for me, always sacrificing herself for my well being. She'll never admit it, but I think she's really messed up," Waverly intended to say more, but her voice trailed off as the bartender herself made her way down the stairs a few moments later and looked up at the officer with a small smile.  
  
"Hey there Haughtsauce, not sick of us yet?" she chuckled softly, trying to keep the mood light, though her eyes were soft and broken. Nicole laughed a bit as well, deciding that going along with her attempt to keep things upbeat was better than trying to bring her down, and she pulled Waverly closer.  
  
"Never," she promised, though her eyes were on the brunette in her arms as she spoke. It was clear that she meant it by the firmness in her voice. The trio were silent as they made their way outside, Nicole's arm tucked firmly underneath Waverly to support her, keeping her close as they approached Wynonna's truck. She helped her inside and made sure that she was comfortable before even thinking of leaving her side, and even then she was quick to run around the front of the truck and jump inside, scanning her eyes over the petite brunette to assure herself that she was indeed alright.  
  
Wynonna took a moment to glance back at the pair before starting the engine, pulling out of the driveway and onto the road. The ride was silent and long, and Waverly held tightly to Nicole's hand the entire way. The ginger woman didn't protest the action. She laced their fingers together and squeezed reassuringly, doing her best to pour her emotions into such a simple action. Waverly seemed to understand and she offered her a small smile, leaning into her side as they continued down the road.  
  
Wynonna didn't seem to know where she was going and Nicole didn't ask, and they didn't stop until they were a good twenty miles outside of Purgatory. When she did, it was nowhere in particular, just a barren strip of land in the middle of the desert that surrounded the town on all sides that the older woman seemed to find suitable for the disposal of Wendy's ashes. There was a lone tree with a few leaves remaining, casting a small pool of shade over the tiny patches of grass that only surrounded the base.  
  
She took a moment to pause, staring straight ahead and gripping tightly to the wheel. Waverly slowly reached forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. When she was brought back to reality, she nodded and jumped out of the truck, the urn containing Wendy's ashes clutched tightly between her fingers.  
  
Nicole helped Waverly out as well, and she wrapped her arms around the officer's longer one, leaning into her side for support. Wynonna cleared her throat, then cleared it again, and her knuckled slowly began to turn white due to the death grip on the urn.  
  
"I... I feel like I have to say something, but I... God, what the hell do I even say?" the bartender's voice cracked as she stared down at the ground. Waverly opened her mouth to speak, but Wynonna beat her to it. "I'm so pissed, I don't even know what to do. I just want to break this stupid urn and forget that you ever existed," it was clear that she was no longer talking to the pair behind her.  
  
"How could you just get up and leave? How could you walk away from your children? Your family!" Wynonna was now shouting and trembling, and there were tears spilling over the corners of her eyes. "We needed you. I needed you! But you weren't here! You were gone, and I had to grow up at 12. 12! How did you expect me to do that? How did you think we could possibly be okay with you leaving! But no, that's not all you did! You left, but then you had the nerve to come back and try to make it all okay! Well it's not okay! None of this is okay! It will never be okay!" before anyone could stop her Wynonna threw the urn against the tree, watching it shatter and collapsing to her knees into a disheveled pile of sobs.  
  
Waverly was crying too, burying her face into Nicole shoulder and trembling violently. The officer held her close, not even able to hold back a few of her own tears, but she was nowhere near as broken as either of the Earp girls, and neither she nor Waverly were as torn up as Wynonna. The bartender let out a scream and fell to the ground, and the pair behind her were by her side in an instant, though Waverly couldn't bend down due to her leg. Nicole knelt down beside her and wrapped an arm around her, helping her into a sitting position and holding her from behind. Wynonna turned into her body and wheezed against her chest, clinging tightly to her shirt as if her life depended on it.  
  
Waverly leaned heavily against her crutch until Nicole helped her sit down as best as she could without releasing her hold on the bartender in her arms, and the shorter brunette shot her a grateful look, curling into her side on the ground. Slowly Wynonna's tears subsided, but she had yet to find the strength to speak, or to release Nicole's shirt clenched in her fists. The three sat in silence until the sky turned a brilliant shade of red and the sun began to set, watching as the ashes on the ground eventually were swept up in the wind.

* * *

By the time the sun had set, Wynonna had fallen asleep against Nicole, her face still coated with the remnants of tears, and Waverly's eyes were drooping as she fought to stay awake. Nicole saw fireflies beginning to light up the air around them, and she let out a gentle sigh.

"You okay?" the officer had assumed the shorter woman was asleep and she jumped slightly, though she relaxed when she placed origin to the voice.  
  
"Why are you asking me? I should be asking you if you're okay. You were just assaulted a few weeks ago, and your mother is dead because of me," the last few words hadn't been meant to be spoken aloud, and though her voice was quieter Waverly still picked up on them clearly.  
  
"Hey," she sat up and stared at the ginger, brushing a strand of her fiery hair behind her ear. "This is not because of you, okay? Please don't blame this on yourself."  
  
"But if  wouldn't have said that to her-" Nicole began, but Waverly held up a finger to her lips to silence her.  
  
"Then Wynonna or I would have. Maybe not right away, maybe we would have waited or chickened out at first. But someone would have said it eventually. And it just would have been worse because she would've been here longer. I'm glad you said it. It just shows that you care," Waverly promised, her hand still delicately weaving her fingers through the taller woman's hair. Nicole seemed unconvinced, but she nodded regardless and subconsciously leaned into the touch.  
  
Waverly leaned forward, her head pressed against the officer's, her breathing shallow and rapid. Nicole stared back with wide eyes, and suddenly she was frozen in place. The younger Earp's breathing hitched, but before she could do anything more the sound of whimpering from beside them ripped the two apart. Wynonna mumbled something under her breath and rolled her body slightly, still leaning into Nicole's front.  
  
"Uh, I think I should get you two home, it's really late," the auburn haired woman spoke rapidly and leaned back from the smaller woman, who simply nodded in reluctant agreement. "Are you okay here until I get her in the truck?" she asked. Waverly nodded and offered up a small smile, and Nicole squeezed her hand gently before standing with Wynonna in her arms, and- Though not without a struggle- She stumbled her way towards the truck, her legs and feet asleep from sitting for so long. The bartender mumbled something in her sleep and shifted her weight, but by some miracle Nicole managed to get her situated in the back seat.  
  
She was quick to run back over to Waverly, and she decided against trying to help her stand and instead picked the younger woman up as well, helping her into the passenger seat in the front. She set her crutches in the back seat on the side opposite to Wynonna, then jumped in the driver's seat and began the journey back into Purgatory.  
  
"So... There's something I need to tell you," Nicole's voice shook as they drove, and Waverly looked up at her in curiosity. "I... Nedley talked to me when you were in the hospital, and we're still trying to fight his lawyers so I don't want you to think that this is it for us and that he will get away with anything because I promise you I won't let that happen but I-" Waverly cut Nicole off by taking her hand and squeezing gently.  
  
"Hey, Nicole, this is me. Just talk to me," her voice was gentle and the ginger managed to catch her breath before attempting to speak again.  
  
"Well... Champ's lawyers are trying to claim that he was mentally unstable during the time of assault, and if they convince a jury that their defense of insanity is true, he won't serve jail time," Nicole blurted out, her voice cracking on her last few words. Waverly's hand tightened around hers and she stared straight ahead, her body motionless and her expression unreadable. Tears were glistening in her eyes but she was determined not to let them fall. She had cried enough recently, and she was tired of the constant ache in her chest from the constant fits of tears. She inhaled sharply, releasing the breath shakily and tightening her grip on Nicole's fingers.  
  
"Thanks for telling me."  
  
They didn't speak another word the rest of the drive to the homestead.

* * *

Waverly had offered for Nicole to stay the night at her house, but she had declined in the end, deciding that the sister's could use a night to themselves. After a hug that lasted far too long for friends and a promise that she wouldn't disappear again, the officer made the short drive back to her apartment in silence.  
  
When she walked inside, she was greeted by a pair of unusually quiet and unenthusiastic bundles of fur at her feet. Instead of their typical excitement and bouncing around at the sound of someone within 50 feet of the door, they were both quiet and timid, and they seemed to understand that she was upset. Smiling down at the animals softly, Nicole bent down on her knees and held them in her arms, Cato clawing gently at a loose curl that hung down from her hair and Ghost curling into her stomach.  
  
She stayed like that for awhile- How long for sure she couldn't say with certainty- But when she stood her muscles were stiff and both her animal companions had fallen asleep. She was careful to set them both gently on her bed, and she was about to join them when her eyes landed on her closet. Slowly, she walked towards the doors and opened them, rummaging through her belongings to the back where she took a few moments to stare at the case.  
  
Running her fingers over the edges, she carefully pulled it from the back of the closet and set it on her bed, sitting cross legged in front of it. When she opened it she smiled softly, staring at the single instrument she knew how to play and had kept in her possessions since she was a kid.  
  
A tall, cyan blue guitar, the strings glistening silver and the wood as well cared for as the day she had received it. It had been a gift for her 7th birthday from Nora and Ross, and while it was too big for her at the time, she took more care in it than she did any of her other belongings. She still had no idea how two kids managed to afford such a gorgeous instrument, but she never questioned it. Growing up with her siblings, it would have been impossible to not learn at least a little bit of their musical gifts, and from the time that she could hold her guitar she had received lessons from the twins.  
  
Music wasn't exactly hard for her either. She picked up playing easily and singing was something she enjoyed. But, it wasn't her passion, nothing like it was to Nora and Ross. It had been years since she played and longer since she sang out loud, even when alone. Even so, the thought of ever abandoning the guitar had never crossed her mind, not even once. She ran her hand lightly over the neck of the instrument, feeling the cool strings slide against her fingertips. Despite that they were unused, she still changed the strings every six months or so and always kept them in tune.  
  
Nicole took in a shaky breath as she picked the guitar up and held in in her arms, like she had so many times before, daring herself to play again. She pressed down on the strings to form an E chord, wincing at how much it hurt after going so long without playing. Taking in a deep breath, she strummed lightly, the sound of the chord- While slightly cacophonous due to her shaking fingers- Made her smile brightly. Running through the basic chords she could still remember, she did her best to recreate the sounds on the guitar, ignoring the pain in her fingers.  
  
She played through the rest of the night, and the next day at work, even Nedley couldn't deny that his deputy was definitely in a better mood than he had seen her in the past few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think? I hope you enjoyed it, as best as you could anyways! Next chapter, Wynonna ends up facing some serious personal issues, and you get to find out more about Champ's fate! Stay tuned!


	13. Trial And Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly continues to struggle with her feelings for Nicole, while simultaneously trying to comfort Wynonna about the loss of their mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So this chapter is pretty intense and I know how it seems, all I can say is please don't kill me for the end!

"Can I see the email?" Wynonna's voice startled Waverly and she jumped slightly, turning from her position at the fridge with a bottle of water in her hands. She took a moment to catch her breath before answering the question.

"The... The email mom had?" she asked slowly, closing the fridge door behind her. Wynonna nodded, and it was then that the shorter woman realized her eyes were red. "Wynonna..." she did her best to approach her slowly, leaning against her crutch and reaching up to touch the bartender's face. The skin was damp with tears and she sniffled, looking away and pulling back.

"Never mind, I don't-" she began, but Waverly cut her off.

"No! No, I'll show you, it's in my room," she explained. After struggling to help herself up the stairs and insisting the entire time that she was perfectly fine and capable of doing so, Waverly led her sister inside her room and opened her top dresser drawer, pulling out the neatly folded paper from the back. Her hands shook as she handed the paper to the bartender, who trembled just as much receiving it. The pair sat on Waverly's bed as she unfolded it, her eyes slowly and carefully running over the words on the paper. Long after the shorter Earp was sure that Wynonna had finished reading, she leaned against the older woman and wrapped an arm around her waist. The bartender did nothing to push her away, but she didn't lean back into Waverly either. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes and she did her best not to let them fall, but trying to keep it back only resulted in a heavy gasp of pain in her chest and salt water spilling down the sides of her face. Waverly looked up and wrapped her arms around her sister tightly, holding her close as she sobbed in her arms.

"H-How could she do that to us Waves?" the older brunette whispered, her voice quivering as she stumbled over her words. "How could she just... Just leave us all alone?" "I don't know," Waverly was now also in tears, her face buried in the bartender's shoulder and her arms never loosening their grip.

"I think... I think she was just scared."

"Did she not think we weren't?" Wynonna snapped, standing straight up so suddenly that it almost knocked the brunette still on the bed backwards. "Did she... I mean... We were kids! I was terrified every single day that I was going to lose Willa! Every night I would go and sit beside her and hold her hand, crying and begging her to live. And then mom left... She left and I stopped begging... I just gave up. I gave up hope that she would live. And then she died, and I know it's stupid, but I can't help think... Waves, what if I killed her?" Waverly's heart broke at her sister's words. She had never seen Wynonna so broken, so fragile and vulnerable.

"Wy... You didn't kill her," she pulled the bartender into her arms and she rested her head in her younger sister's lap. "Willa loved you, she knew how much you needed her." Wynonna said nothing, and the shorter brunette began running her fingers through her hair. "You know, I blamed myself too." Wynonna still didn't speak, but she turned and looked up at her sister in question. "I... I used to ask why I was even born. I used to hear you and Willa talking about how mom and dad used to be before I was born, before Willa was really sick, and I always wondered if I hadn't been born, if it would've been easier to pay medical bills and take care of you two," she admitted quietly. This time, it was Wynonna's turn to feel her heart shatter.

"Oh, baby girl... God, I would never have wished you weren't born to save Willa. I didn't, and I still don't. You're the best thing I have in my life," she sat up and pulled Waverly into a proper hug, both shaking and crying at the same time. "I'm sorry I didn't realize how bad it was for you... How are you dealing with all of this so well? I'm a mess, and you're so calm about it all? It's not like she deserves any of my sympathy," Wynonna asked with a humorless laugh, leaning back and wiping her eyes roughly.

"I spent all of my life dealing with this. It was all I thought about for years, blaming myself and resenting mama and daddy... I guess when she finally did die, it didn't change anything about who she had become to me. She's been dead since she left, at least in my world, and seeing her actually die doesn't suddenly make her a hero or a martyr," Waverly explained. "But you... You've spent your life pushing it all away, trying to make sure I was okay and distract yourself. I couldn't do that. But I think you're just now starting to feel the pain of loosing her, and it's crushing you because you've kept it inside for so long." For a long moment Wynonna stared at her, then she began to laugh. It started slow, then it began to escalate, until she was in tears with laughter. Waverly chuckled softly, staring at her sister in confusion.

"Sorry, it's just... God, you're so wise and you're 6 years younger than I am. How the hell is that fair?" she giggled, wiping her eyes. Waverly laughed as well, shrugging and sniffling hard. Wynonna leaned into her side, her chin resting on the top of her sister's head and she leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Sorry you have to deal with all my crazy." Waverly shook her head and squeezed one of the bartender's hands.

"You've dealt with crazy all your life, and you've always been there for me when I broke down. It's my turn now," she promised. Wynonna smiled at her, her eyes grateful and soft, and she tucked a strand of loose hair behind Waverly's ear.

"I'm gonna go drink some whiskey and ignore all my feelings by eating pizza and watching bad TV, join me?" she asked hopefully, standing and wiping her cheeks off.

"Uh... I wish I could, but I... I kinda already have plans," she explained sheepishly, her cheeks tinted red. A wave of realization washed over Wynonna and she smirked.

"These plans don't happen to be with officer Haughtass, do they?" she teased with a wink, causing Waverly's blush to darken. The darker haired brunette laughed and sat down beside her sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, whatever she is to you, or whatever she becomes, you're my sister. Being with a woman doesn't change that, and it doesn't change my opinion of you, okay? And even if it did, you shouldn't let what I think dictate your actions. Don't hold back from what you want because you're scared of what people with think. You've been doing that your whole life. You always put everybody else before you. Do what _you_ want." Waverly stared at her with wide eyes, only able to summon up the strength to nod. Wynonna pressed a kiss to her cheek and stood, walking out of her room and back down the hall, leaving Waverly alone in her room trying to process what her sister just said.

* * *

Three weeks after Waverly was released from the hospital, Shorty's reopened and the brunette was back to work. It wasn't exactly easy, but it wasn't impossible either, and she insisted on going back, despite Wynonna's protests that she should wait at least another week. She was standing behind the bar wiping out an empty glass when she felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind. Beaming, she turned to see Nicole standing behind her with a wide grin on her face and her hand behind her back.

"Hey," she grinned leaning into the officer as best as she could while still using her crutches.

"Hey yourself," the ginger giggled. "So, first day back on the job huh?" she asked with a smile.

"How did you hear about that so fast?" Waverly raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"Oh trust me, the town of Purgatory is celebrating the reopening of the great Shorty's like it's Christmas," the auburn haired woman laughed. "And to celebrate, I got you something," she pulled her hand out from behind her back to reveal a bouquet of yellow roses. Waverly's cheeks burned and she couldn't contain the smile on her face. "I know yellow isn't exactly a great color, but I felt like it fit. They're supposed to symbolize deep friendship and new beginnings," Nicole explained with a shy smile. Waverly had to force herself to keep her own from faltering, and to do so she wrapped her arms around the taller woman tightly.

"They're beautiful, thank you," she smiled, grabbing a vase from underneath the counter and running some water inside.

"Haughtstuff!" Wynonna's excited tone sounded from behind the pair and the bartender threw an arm around the officer happily. "Hi Wynonna," Nicole laughed, hugging her back with one arm as well. "Usual?" she asked with a small laugh, and before the ginger could even answer Wynonna was already making her way to the back to make her a cappuccino.

"Well, I can't stay long, Nedley has really been tight on me lately about Champ's case and I've already missed a lot of work, but would you wanna hang out later? I could pick you up at your place," the taller woman asked with a smile, leaning on the counter. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds nice. I'm sure Wynonna would appreciate some time alone," Waverly chuckled softly. "Great, I'll be out after work," the officer promised with a toothy smile, her dimples showing clearly with her grin. A few moments later Wynonna walked out with Nicole's coffee, handing it to the officer. "Bye Wynonna, see you later Waves," she smiled, waving back at the Earp sisters as she exited the bar. Wynonna grinned at her sister and winked at her.

"So, you have more plans later," she grinned. Waverly blushed and rolled her eyes, doing her best to hide her face from the older woman, but she knew that even if Wynonna couldn't see her, she could still tell exactly what she was thinking.

* * *

"Hey Wynonna, can you come by the cop shop sometime today? I need to ask you something."

Wynonna had read over the text at least 15 times before she found an opportunity to slip away, though it had arrived much earlier than that, only minutes after the officer's departure from the bar earlier that day. Waverly had taken a break to go get lunch at a new vegetarian restaurant that was recently opened in Purgatory, and she had been meaning to go for awhile but couldn't until that day due to her injuries. Wynonna had insisted on driving her, but the shorter woman refused, saying she could manage driving herself a few blocks.

The bartender wasn't happy about it, but her sister was just as stubborn as she was, so she had no real choice but to let her go, though she did text her and make sure she had arrived safely before her nerves were completely quelled. Once she was sure that the younger brunette was out of the vicinity, she turned the open sign to closed and slipped out of the bar. Luckily there was about an hour and a half of time every day between 11:30 and 1:00 where Shorty's was relatively empty, if not completely, and that was when the sister's normally took a break to clean up what they could and eat. Wynonna pulled on a jacket, flipped off the lights, and made the short walk across the street to the sheriff's department. It wasn't hard to find Nicole- Despite the fact that her desk was near the front, it would be hard to miss her shoulder length nest of fiery curls- And she jumped up on her desk when she spotted the officer. Nicole looked up, slightly startled, but she visibly relaxed when she recognized the older woman.

"Hey Wynonna," she smiled briefly, switching off her computer.

"Yo Haughtstuff, what's up? I don't have long before Waves gets back," the bartender leaned her body weight lazily against the desk, propped up on her arms and hands.

"Right, I was wondering if... Well... Could I borrow your truck tonight?" the questioned surprised the eldest Earp, and she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Look, I trust you and all, but I don't just give out my baby to anyone. Why do you need it?" Wynonna had a sneaking suspicion that she knew already, or at least had an idea, but she let the ginger speak for herself anyway.

"I uh... Well I'm hanging out with Waverly tonight," at this, Nicole's face flushed red, but she continued, "And I just... Well I wanted to take her somewhere special and it would be easier to use a truck for it than my car, and it's totally okay if not I just wanted to ask because I-" she was cut off when Wynonna held up a hand and chuckled.

"Alright Haughtsauce, you've convinced me. I know you've got a thing for her anyways," the bartender winked, and Nicole's face burned crimson.

"What? I... I d-don't... Well I-" she stuttered, suddenly cut off again, but this time by laughter.

"I'm just teasing you Haught, relax." Nicole did anything but. "You can borrow the truck," she smiled and reached out, playfully nudging the taller woman on the shoulder.

"I... I uh... Thanks," she stumbled. Wynonna chuckled and let out an amused sigh, shaking her head.

"See ya later Haughtstuff," she called, jumping down and walking out of the police station. She waved back at the officer, who's face was now as red as her hair and her eyes wide with anxiety. "Kids," she mumbled with a laugh, closing the door to the station behind her and walking back across the street, arriving just minutes before Waverly pulled back in.

* * *

When Nicole arrived at the homestead that night, dressed in a magenta sweater and dark jeans, her hand shook as she knocked on the door. When it opened, a woman she didn't recognize but was still strangely familiar answered.

"Oh, you must be Nicole! It's nice to meet you hun, I'm Gus, Waverly and Wynonna's aunt," now it made sense. From Waverly's description of the woman who'd raised her, she already had a semi-decent picture of what she looked like in mind, and she wasn't far off. Soft but sharp eyes, warm but slightly intimidating smile, body language that was impossible to read.

"Uh... Yeah, yeah, it's n-nice to meet you ma'am, I've heard a lot ab-bout you," Nicole cursed herself for stuttering so much and mentally kicked herself.

"Relax sweetie, I don't bite. That's Wynonna's card," from behind her the bartender walked by, smiling and nonchalantly waving to her as she passed with a bottle of whiskey in hand.

"Hiya Haughtstuff, truck's all ready to go. Waverly will be down in a minute," she informed her, and the officer gave her a grateful smile. "Hurry up Gus, whiskey ain't gonna drink itself," she called over her shoulder, already heading towards the living room. Nicole felt her cheeks go red and Gus smiled.

"So, I hear you and Waverly have... Well... Something," she raised an eyebrow, and the ginger's eyes went wide.

"I would never hurt her ma'am, I promise! I- Waverly is- I wouldn't-" she blurted out quickly, and Gus held up a hand to stop her, chuckling.

"Calm down, I'm not here to grill you. I'm glad Waverly has a suitor that isn't dead-set on making her a barmaid in Buenos Aries," to this Nicole raised a confused eyebrow. "Don't ask," Gus continued with a laugh, and the auburn haired woman felt herself visibly relax. Not entirely, but more than she had been. "And if you  _do_ have feelings for Waverly, you need to tell her," suddenly the older woman's face fell serious, and her smile dropped. "She's been through a lot. She's been hurt by a lot of people, me included. She doesn't deserve it, and I know you know that. So, if anything happens, just... Be good to her, okay?" Nicole stared, mouth slightly ajar, and nodded quickly. Before either woman could say anything more, Waverly's voice interrupted them.

"Hey! Sorry, I just had to finish up with my hair," the shorter brunette smiled as she approached, tucking her crutches under one arm to hug the officer.

"You girls have fun tonight," Gus smiled knowingly at Nicole, winking at her before closing the door behind them.

"So, where are we headed to?" Waverly asked with a smile.

"It's uh... A surprise," the auburn haired woman answered grinning, leading her down the driveway towards the truck parked at the end.

"Uh, Nicole, not to point out the obvious or anything, but... This is Wynonna's truck," the younger Earp laughed slightly.

"I know. I got permission already. The cruiser isn't exactly ideal for tonight," she explained with a nervous chuckle. Waverly raised an eyebrow curiously, but nodded and blushed as Nicole opened her door and helped her inside. "Stay here, I have to get something." Running towards her own car that she had deliberately parked behind the truck so she wasn't visible to Waverly's eye, she popped her trunk and pulled out four blankets she had stored inside, along with two pillows and an extra blanket, just in case it was necessary. She was quick to open the bed of the truck, throwing the blankets inside and adjusting them so they covered most of the inside and tossing the pillows to the back so they leaned up against the side opposite herself. When she was satisfied, she nodded and closed the bed once more, quickly making her way to the driver's seat and jumping inside.

"Ready?" she asked with a smile. Waverly mimicked her and nodded, and with that the pair was off, unaware that Gus and Wynonna were watching them from the hidden safety of the homestead window. Gus closed the curtains and chuckled, shaking her head.

"That girl is whipped," she let out a bemused sigh.

"Yeah," Wynonna agreed with a smile, "But that's a good thing."

* * *

It was an hour before the truck pulled to a stop, and Waverly opened her eyes to find that they were parked in the middle of a parking lot next to an abandoned convenient store.

"What are we doing here?" she asked with a laugh, looking over at Nicole curiously. Instead of answering, the officer jumped out and opened her door, helping her out as well and leading her to the back of the truck. "Nicole... I..." she trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Well, come on," the taller woman smiled, opening the back and jumping up, holding out a hand. Waverly didn't hesitate as she took it, climbing up beside the ginger and blushing. Neither said anything as they positioned themselves, Nicole leaning back and Waverly curled into her side, buried under a mountain of blankets. Both were tense and their hearts were racing, but they covered it up well. They observed the clear sky above them, painted with an ocean of stars on a midnight canvas.

"Why here?" Waverly finally broke the silence after a long moment. It took awhile to receive an answer, and she was about to ask again, convinced her companion hadn't heard her before.

"I know they're the same stars you can see in Purgatory," Nicole finally began, her voice distant and her eyes glassy as she stared up at the sky, "But something about being out here, about this place... It makes them feel different. Like they're not just stars. They're an experience. No one else on Earth sees what we see, not exactly. No one can see them from this specific angle, this perspective. It's entirely unique. I guess it just feels special to me," Waverly felt her heart skip a beat and her breathing hitched as she clung to the auburn haired woman at her side.

"I bet you say stuff like that to everyone," the younger Earp's voice cracked slightly as she tried to laugh, and Nicole turned slightly to look at her.

"No," her voice was barely audible as she spoke. "Just you." Waverly felt her cheeks burning, and lost for words to answer, she leaned back down into the officer's side, trying to control the slowly increasing rate of her heartbeat. For what couldn't have been less than at least an hour, the pair laid in silence, until the younger Earp couldn't hold back the question burning in the back of her mind.

"Nicole?" the shorter woman inhaled sharply before speaking. The ginger woman turned and looked down at her, leaning back slightly when she saw the expression on her face. "I... Why did you bring me out here?" she didn't mean to blurt it out so suddenly, but she couldn't think of another way to ask.

"What?" Nicole sat up, staring down at the brunette in surprise.

"I mean... Why did you do all this? Why did you bring me here, to somewhere that's special to you?" Waverly explained, her voice shaking.

"You brought me somewhere that's special to you, when you showed me the museum and the aquarium, I wanted to do the same. I'm sorry, I... I thought you'd like it," the officer looked heartbroken, and her lip quivered, but she quickly bit down to try and hide it.

"I do like it!" Waverly sat up abruptly, startling the auburn haired woman enough that she was brought into a sitting position as well. "I like it a lot! That's the problem! You keep doing all these things and I keep liking them, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do! For the first time in years I feel so much and now I don't know how to handle it," by now there were tears forming at the brink of her eyes and she was trembling.

"Waves..." Nicole reached out, attempting to wipe the tears from her face, but the shorter woman pulled away, curling up into herself and giving up trying to stop crying.

"Can you just take me home?" she whispered, and Nicole felt her chest burn. Without saying another word, the officer helped Waverly down and into the passenger seat, folding the blankets into a neat pile before slowly settling in the driver's side.

The ride back to the homestead felt longer than it really was, and the silence in the truck was tense and awkward. Nicole had to hold back a sigh of relief when they finally pulled in, and Waverly was quick to help herself out, stumbling but not stopping as she made her way to the front door. The auburn haired woman wanted to run after her, to hold her and confess her feelings and tell her it was okay to feel scared, but she decided it was best to give Waverly her space, and instead she locked the truck and waited until the younger Earp was inside before leaving the keys on the front porch.

Her chest burned as she drove back to her apartment, and when she walked inside she collapsed on the couch, finally allowing the tears she had been holding back for over an hour to fall.

* * *

Wynonna could tell that something was wrong the minute Waverly walked into the homestead by the way she slammed the door behind her and said nothing as she made her way up to her bedroom. Sharing a worried look with Gus, the bartender quickly made her way up the stairs after her. When she got to her younger sister's room, she was curled up on her bed in tears.

"Waves! What's wrong? Did something happen?" it was a stupid question and she mentally kicked herself for asking, but Wynonna pushed the thought aside and laid beside Waverly. The shorter woman buried her face in a pillow, doing her best to keep her composure. "Waverly-" suddenly the bartender was cut off.

"No, nothing happened. That's the problem. I... I like her Wynonna, I like her so much, and I'm so scared to do anything about it! I lose everybody I love! I lost mama and daddy, Willa, uncle Curtis, I even lost you for awhile. And for so long I've been okay with that! You know? I was fine, I was just happy little Waverly Earp, the nicest goddamn person in Purgatory, and now suddenly I can't think straight because of a woman I've barely known for two and a half months! How am I supposed to be okay with that?" Waverly blurted out, her eyes wide and tears streaking down her cheeks.

Wynonna sighed and pulled her sister into her chest, hugging her tightly and letting her break down. She began sobbing, her body trembling in the older woman's arms as she cried. For what felt like hours they stayed that way, until Waverly finally pulled back and wiped her eyes. She hiccupped and Wynonna handed her a half full bottle of water, helping her take a few sips until her breathing was regulated.

"Listen Waves, I'm not one for giving relationship advice. Hell, I'm probably the  _last_ person you want to ask about it. But I know Nicole really likes you. And I know feelings are scary. Why do you think I drink so much whiskey?" that earned a small laugh from the younger woman. "But you can't hide from them forever. You've been doing that your entire life. I can see by the way you look at her that she makes you happy. You deserve to be happy. You've spent your whole life making sure that everybody around you is content. Do what you want. Be who you want. And be  _with_ who you want. Don't deprive yourself of being with someone like Nicole because you're too scared to even try," Waverly stared at her sister in shock, her mouth hanging open slightly.

"That's... Actually pretty good advice. Guess we're both pretty wise huh," she teased with a small laugh, and Wynonna rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah. I'm just saying. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, and that's certainly not Champ Hardy," the bartender chuckled. Waverly pulled her into a long hug and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, sniffling and shivering slightly.

"Uh... I think I need to, uh..." she stuttered, and Wynonna laughed. "Go get her tiger," she winked and squeezed the younger woman's shoulder gently, smiling at her and moving aside to let her stand and make her way down the stairs. She followed a moment later, laughing at her aunts bewildered face.

"Whatever you did in the space of fifteen minutes, bless you for it if you got that girl smiling again," she laughed. Wynonna shook her head and chuckled, taking her seat on the couch and pouring herself another glass of whiskey.

"No, I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it."

* * *

Nicole woke up to the sound of frantic knocking at her door. Startled, she sat straight up on the couch, rubbing her blurry eyes and making her way to the door quickly where the knocking had yet to cease.

"Coming!" she called, yawning as she opened the door to see a familiar body standing in the doorway.

"Sir?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes once more to reassure herself that it was indeed Sheriff Nedley standing in her doorway.

"Haught, I'm sorry to come so late, but it's important. It's about Champ Hardy. I... I don't know how else to tell you this, but..." he trailed off nervously, stumbling over his words.

"Sir, whatever it is, just tell me, I can take it," she promised, though she was sure that if she hadn't just been jolted from sleep she wouldn't be so confident. Nedley sighed before he answered hesitantly.

"Okay. Well... The trial's been moved to next week, and the lawyers still don't have enough evidence against them to stop a claim of defense due to insanity. It looks like we have to fight them in court, and things aren't looking great," the words startled the ginger officer wide awake, just in time to see a familiar red Jeep pulling into the parking lot of her apartment, and an even more familiar brunette step out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I know! I know what you all were expecting, but I said at the beginning this was gonna be slowburn and I did mean it! I know 13 chapters and not even so much as a kiss is really pushing it, but there's still a lot going on besides WayHaught and at least Waverly knows what she wants now! She may just have to wait before she gets it for awhile. I hope you liked it anyway, don't be mad! XD :]


	14. In A Burning Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Champ's trial is finally here, and everyone is now awaiting the verdict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys! So Jesus this show has taken a wild spin on things! But, I completely trust Emily and I have faith in WayHaught, and I hope you all do too! I originally planned to make this a two part chapter and not tell you guys the verdict, but after that episode I decided I couldn't handle more angst and worry haha. Anyways, hope you guys like the chapter and the small bit of romantic fluff at the end.

Waverly groaned as she woke for at least the seventh time that night. Despite the fact that sleeping next to Nicole was comforting, she couldn't shake her worry that she may possibly lose the case against Champ. After her arrival, Nedley had sat down with the pair and explained to them that the best strategy for them to use was the defenseless victim- That Waverly had no clue that he was so dangerous and he had put her through emotional distress.

Neither one of them were very fond of this idea, especially because of the way it painted the younger Earp as helpless, unable to hold her own in a fight when she had been able to stop him from raping her and had even managed to put him in the hospital as well. But, after reviewing other similar cases, it was clear that it was the best shot they had at convincing a jury that Champ was dangerous and deserved jail time, not medical attention.

So, after their conversation and the promise that Nedley would personally provide her with the best lawyer he knew, he left the girls in peace, and Waverly pushed the thought of confessing her feelings for her friend out of her mind. The previous awkwardness of the night forgotten, Nicole had comforted her, offered that she stay the night and sleep next to her in case she needed anything, and while her touch still ignited a fire inside the brunette every time, not even the feeling of the taller woman's strong arms around her waist were much of a comfort.  
  
Getting to sleep was hard enough, but staying asleep was nearly impossible. Every noise in the middle of the night, every stir of the woman next to her, every terrifying thought protruding in the back of her mind, it all kept her mind racing in fear and woke her from her slumber. If it bothered or ever woke Nicole, the officer said nothing about it, instead remaining still and silent. Wiping tears from her face that she didn't have to feel to know were there, she curled tightly into the taller woman's side, her face buried deep in the fabric of her top. As if it were instinct, the arms around her waist tightened slightly, pulling her closer and silently promising she was safe.  
  
Waverly felt her breath shaking and she sniffled quietly, her thoughts buzzing wildly in her head. What if Champ didn't get a life sentence? What if he got away with defense of insanity? What if he wasn't convicted at all, and was somehow found innocent? More and more irrational fears slowly crept into her mind to the point where Waverly found it difficult to breath.

She gasped for air as quietly as she could, but it was as if her lungs were closed off, refusing to allow oxygen into her airway. Soon she was coughing sporadically, her eyes watering and her face red. The noise and the moment jolted Nicole awake and, quick to survey the scene, she was sitting up in an instant and pulling the brunette into her arms.  
  
"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm here. I've got you, just breath," her voice was soft and reassuring in the younger woman's ear, and as delicate fingers roamed through her hair and down her spine, she felt her body slowly begin to relax. Eventually her breath resumed a steady pace and the shaking subsided. Nicole's hold on her didn't loosen, something for which she was grateful, but it did nothing to calm her nerves and it made not confessing her feelings for the officer harder than it already was.

But, she knew it wasn't the time or place to come forth with a confession like that, even if the feelings were mutual. Not here, not now, not like this. So instead, she wiped her cheeks and curled back down into the blankets on the bed, pulling Nicole with her and closing her eyes. Though she didn't fall back asleep the rest of the night, she refused to move from her position.

* * *

The day of the trial against Champ, Waverly was a nervous wreck. She had been up the entire night before puking, with Wynonna and Nicole by her side holding back her hair and holding her close, doing their best to assure her that everything would be okay. Of course, neither of them were completely sure of that either, but they weren't about to admit that. They both knew it would only make it worse for the younger Earp and she would stress more if she had any more doubt than she already did.  
  
So instead, they sat by her side, holding her hand and stroking her face and trying not to let their minds wander to the possibility of losing the case. Nedley's lawyer- A man named Kyle who had previously worked in multiple cases of assault and attempted rape- Had gone over all the evidence with them and did his best to assure them that once the jury saw the evidence there was no way they wouldn't convict him, but the doubt in his eyes was clear and it was evident that he too was worried. Champ's lawyers had built their entire case around a defense of insanity, and intended to prove it just by the way he'd been acting in jail. He sat on his cot all day, mumbling Waverly's name and tearing his own hair out. Nicole had to give it to him that he was committed, but she was damn sure he wasn't insane, just dedicated to getting away with his crime.  
  
Nicole didn't bother driving home before the trial and instead washed her uniform at the homestead. She didn't dare leave the youngest Earp's side. The drive to the court house was short and tense, and Waverly didn't honestly remember much of anything between the time she got in Wynonna's truck with Nicole's hand in her own and sitting down in the court room, the words of the opening statements barely reaching her ears.

It was only then that she actually learned what the charges being filed were- Battery assault and attempted rape. She felt her heart lurch when she saw Champ staring at her across the room and her grip on Nicole's hand tightened slightly as Kyle began to speak.  
  
"Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am only stating what I expect the evidence presented here today to prove. That Champ Hardy without a doubt assaulted and attempted to rape Miss. Waverly Earp, and furthermore that he was sane and well minded at the time that the crime occurred. We will prove that Mr. Hardy is not mentally unstable, as he claims to be, but rather a violent and dangerous one who cannot and should not be allowed back into society after five years of mental treatment, and instead should serve the maximum punishment allowable by law. Thank you," as he sat down he leaned over and patted Waverly on the shoulder. Despite the gesture of affection, she cringed and her face went pale. Nicole and Wynonna shared a look, and both held her hand tightly as the defense attorney rose from his seat, staring directly at Waverly as his words left his lips.

* * *

"Now Miss. Earp, you and Champ Hardy were in a committed relationship once before for a number of years, am I correct?" the defense attorney's voice echoed loudly throughout the court room, and Waverly felt her entire body shaking.  
  
"Y-Yes," she stuttered out, cursing herself for her nerves.  
  
"And, during that time, did you ever see anything that would possibly incline you to believe that Mr. Hardy was a dangerous man?" he continued, leaning against the podium and close to her body.  
  
"No... He liked to drink, and he could get aggressive, b-but he was never dangerous at that time," she answered. Her eyes flicked up to Nicole, who was staring back like she just wanted to hold her.  
  
"At the time. What about after your parting of ways Miss. Earp? Did you ever see anything then that would indicate that Champ was dangerous?" every bone in Nicole's body screamed and twisted as she watched the older man lean in closer to Waverly, her heart breaking as she saw how physically uncomfortable the brunette was.  
  
"Uh... No," her voice quivered.  
  
"Now Miss. Earp, you're a smart girl, I'm sure that big brain of yours wasn't blind to the fact that Champ was dangerous, if he is as dangerous as you claim him to be," he cocked an eyebrow at her curiously.  
  
"Well... Uh, well I just-" before she could continue she was cut off.  
  
"Miss. Earp, a simple yes or no will do," the attorney interrupted, and Nicole had to physically cling to the chair she sat in to keep from throwing herself at the man.  
  
"I... Yes. Once, the day before the attack," she admitted quietly.  
  
"And what, do tell, did you see that made you question if he was safe to be around?" the smug look on the lawyer's face made the younger Earp sick inside.  
  
"He came into the bar where I work, and he grabbed my arm," she looked down at the spot on her arm that was no longer was bruised, but she could remember every mark from that day.  
  
"So he grabbed your arm, and yet you not only agreed to meet him in an alley at 2:00 in the morning unaccompanied, but you initiated the meeting yourself, knowing that he could very well have been a danger to you?" he asked, and Wynonna gripped Nicole's hand so tightly that her knuckled turned white. The officer didn't mind, and squeezed back just as hard.  
  
"Yes," Waverly's face fell and her eyes welled with tears.  
  
"Did you ever feel that he would seriously hurt you? Did you think that you could reason with him, that he may have had some humanity left in him?" the man finally leaned off the podium, but it did nothing to ease her nerves.  
  
"I felt like I could get him to stop," the way the small woman's voice suddenly began to drain was sickening to hear.  
  
"And uh, when you did see him in that alley, did he look like himself? Did he look like the Champ you knew?" he circled the empty space on the floor around them, his hands held behind his back as he walked.  
  
"No. He didn't look like I'd ever seen him before," at this point she was no longer trying to keep her tears at bay.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, you have all been witness to Miss. Earp’s statement today. She claims that at a meeting she purposefully initiated with Champ Hardy, he apepared as she had never seen him before. It's my personal and professional opinion that Mr. Hardy was not mentally sane at the time this crime was committed. It was an early hour of the morning, he had been showing recent signs of aggression that he had not shown before, and his behavior was clearly out of character. It’s quite evident that he was not mentally capable of being in control or aware of his actions at the time the assault, and needs serious psychological help. I beg you to consider the option of giving this man the medical attention he is so clearly in need of. The defense rests," with that the attorney sat down with a smug grin on his face, and Waverly returned to her chair feeling sick in her stomach.

* * *

It took only an hour for the jury to deliberate and return with a verdict. During that time Waverly said not a word, and instead clung to Nicole as if her life depended on it. The auburn haired woman held her close, not once releasing her grip on the brunette who was slowly breaking down in her arms. Wynonna paced back and forth outside and finished half a pack of cigarettes before she returned, her hands shaking nervously and her eyes wide in fear. Kyle did his best to assure them that they would be okay, but it did little to nothing in terms of helping them relax. When the jury finally returned to the court room, Waverly felt her heart thrashing against her chest wildly. They waited for the other occupants of the room to settle before resuming the trial.  
  
Champ sat with a smug grin on his face, his eyes glued to Waverly across the room. She winced and cowered into Nicole's side, who glared at him and held the brunette close. One member of the jury stood, a paper in his hand as he faced the judge.  
  
"How do you read?" the question hung in the air for what appeared to be an eternity.  
  
"Your honor, we the jury find Mr. Champ Hardy in the case of assault and attempted rape against Miss. Waverly Earp..." the pause that next ensued seemed to stretch on for ages, and she dared not breath until she knew the verdict.  
  
"Guilty on all charges. We recommend that he is placed into the care of a psychiatric examination while incarcerated, but do agree that he should indeed be placed in the confines of federal prison for his crimes," for a long moment the words that left the juror's lips didn't register with any of the three woman standing in the front of the room. When they finally hit Waverly, she threw her arms around Wynonna and spun around happily, her eyes flooding with tears. The bartender was snapped back to reality a moment later and caught her sister under her legs, tears of her own streaming down her cheeks as they laughed and hugged tightly.  
  
When she set Waverly down the shorter woman launched herself into Nicole, ignoring the pain from her leg and burying her face in the officer's shoulder, who held her tightly as she giggled through her tears. No one heard the judge sentence Champ to 25 years to life in prison without chance of parole, their minds too clouded with relief that the trial was over and that they had actually won, but they got the idea from the smile that he sent their way after he finished. Waverly glanced over at Champ who was glaring angrily at her and felt herself begin laughing, and soon she had to sit down to avoid falling over with laughter. Nicole sat down with her giggling as well, squeezing her hand tightly and wiping her eyes.  
  
"You did it," she whispered, her lips forming a wide, toothy grin. Waverly shook her head and squeezed the officer's hand back, holding it against her chest and letting out a loud breath.  
  
"No," she smiled, her eyes soft and her cheeks bright. "No, WE did it."

* * *

Later that night, as Wynonna stood in the kitchen of the homestead cooking a celebratory meal that was really just frozen pizza rolls and microwaved popcorn, Nicole and Waverly sat side by side on the couch, their arms brushing up against each other as they pretended to be watching a movie on the screen. Really, the younger Earp was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Champ was really convicted, that she had really won. Her taller counterpart was just as surprised, but there were other thoughts that were keeping her attention at bay.  
  
There was no way she could deny her feelings for Waverly. She had fallen hard for the smaller woman, and there was no way around it. Of course, she definitely wouldn't be confessing these feelings- Not now, when they had just gotten a chance to breathe. She couldn't put the brunette under that kind of pressure. So instead, she offered to stay the night in case either of the Earp sisters needed her for anything, an offer that landed her a spot on the couch next to the younger of the two, their bodies pressed together under the warmth of a large blanket she'd bought as sort of a small celebration from the success of the trial.  
  
"Do you think he really is crazy?" the questioned surprised the officer, and she looked down to see that Waverly's gaze had not yet shifted from the TV, but it didn't appear that any of the information on the screen was registering with her vision. Nicole was cautious in thinking of an appropriate response.  
  
"I think... We all have the ability to hurt someone. I don't think we're all innately evil or anything, but I feel like anyone is capable of doing something unimaginable if they're pushed to a certain point, or if they are angry enough," she finally answered. By now the smaller brunette by her side was looking at her, and she gave a small, satisfied smile, leaning into the officer's side.  
  
"Alright, I've got pizza rolls, popcorn, whiskey, and juice for the pussies," Wynonna's teasing voice cut through the moment and the two women on the couch looked up to see the bartender walk in, her arms indeed full of the objects she'd listed.  
  
"Thanks Wy," Waverly smiled and sat up, reaching up to take one of the bowls of popcorn and a plate, setting them both between her and the officer by her side. Wynonna knew she was the only one who really would be drinking, so she set down a carton of juice on the coffee table and decided to let them have the couch, plopping down happily into the cushioned chair with her own popcorn, pizza rolls, and a half bottle of Crown Royal Black. Waverly scrolled through her Netflix profile, clearly avoiding her lists of suggested documentaries and nature specials.  
  
"Uh, you guys wanna watch anything?" she asked after a few moments. Nicole was about to answer, but Wynonna beat her to it.  
  
"You choose baby girl, anything you want. You deserve it," the older woman smiled at her. Waverly felt her heart swell and she smiled gratefully at her sister, flipping up to an ocean exploration documentary. Nicole grinned at the bartender and Waverly leaned back into her side as the program began. Wynonna took a small sip of the bottle in her hand but for once she disliked the burn of the alcohol as it traveled down her throat, and before the documentary was over she had switched to drinking juice.

* * *

Nicole woke around 2:00 AM to the sound of shuffling blankets and soft footsteps on the ground. Blinking her eyes open slowly and rubbing them in an attempt to clear the blur from her vision, she looked around to see that the dim lamp in the living room was flipped on and Waverly was walking back and forth across the room.  
  
"Waves?" she asked as softly as she could, hoping not to startle the smaller woman too much. She jumped, but only slightly, and visibly relaxed when their eyes met and she recognized the source of the voice.  
  
"Sorry, I... I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized, sitting down on the floor and leaning back against the wall, though not without a small struggle from the brace on her leg. The day before Champ's trial she had been officially cleared to start walking again, though not without a full length leg brace to support her at all times. Nicole shook her head and stood, padding quietly across the room to sit down next to her friend.  
  
"Is everything okay?" she asked, placing a hand on her shorter companion's arm.  
  
"I... I don't know. I think so? I couldn't really sleep. I feel really great, and my heart is pounding so fast, and I feel like I could run a marathon right now. But I also feel really scared and nervous and I think I might throw up soon and I have no idea why, you know? Like, I shouldn't be worried, right? Champ was found guilty, and he's going to prison, hopefully for life. So I shouldn't be worried," Waverly seemed like she was trying to convince herself more than anything, and Nicole wrapped an arm around her.  
  
"You can feel whatever you need to feel Waves. You went through something horrible. I can't imagine that kind of fear, and not many other people can either. If you need to feel worried, you can feel worried. But, I can promise you that he's never coming near you again. Wynonna and I will be here to protect you, always," Nicole promised, pulling the brunette close into her side. Waverly nodded and pressed her nose into the fabric of the officer's T-shirt, wrapping her arms around her waist.  
  
"Do you wanna go?" her voice suddenly cut through the silence, and the taller woman stared down at her.  
  
"Go where?" she asked with a small chuckle. Waverly shook her head and stood, though not without the ginger's assistance.  
  
"Somewhere. Anywhere. I just... Can we go somewhere else? Please?" Nicole was in no position to deny the younger Earp anything her heart desired, so without another word she grabbed a blanket, draped it around Waverly's shoulders, and practically carried her out to the cruiser parked in front of the house.  
  
They sat in silence, the only sound drifting through the car being the soft lull of the radio, but neither of them minded. Nicole drove for at least an hour and a half, not stopping until she reached what appeared to be a small city that Waverly recognized from maps, but her mind was so preoccupied with her current thoughts- Thoughts of Champ and his darkness, Nicole and her light, pain and it's hold around her neck, like it was waiting to pull her from the world at any given moment- That the name of the city escaped her.

There weren't any buildings taller than a few stories, but there were signs and stores and even a few fast food restaurants in sight. Fresh rainwater glistened on the streets against the light and cast reflections up from the inky shade of black.

  
Though it was a decent sized place, the streets were empty and mostly dark, save for a few cars and small cafe that for some reason was still open, though the lights inside were so dim that if you weren't close enough you wouldn't know it. Nicole seemed to know that this was their destination, even though they didn't really have one, and she parked the cruiser along the side of the abandoned looking street.

Waverly's arms snaked their way around the officer's longer one and as they walked inside, they saw that the cafe was nearly empty, and was so poorly illuminated because it was lit by honest to god candles, two on each table, and a dull hanging light over a small bar area.

An older man sat alone at the bar, a cup of coffee in front of him, but his hands were folded on the counter top in front of him and he appeared to be observing the drink more than anything else. Exactly 2 other tables were in use- One occupied by a business man in a suit, the other by a blue haired girl who couldn't have been older than 17. A woman who looked to be in her mid 60's stood behind the counter, and when the door opened she greeted the pair with a friendly smile, but said nothing to them as they made their way to a table near the back and sat on the same side of the booth. Aside from the barely audible music drifted over a dull speaker playing something that sounded like it had been written in the 50's, it was quiet throughout the room.  
  
"Do you want anything?" it had been so long since they'd spoken that Nicole's voice- Both it's sheer beauty and the surprise of engaging in conversation after nearly two hours of silence- Slightly startled her companion.  
  
"Uh, no, not really, you?" the officer shook her head at the question. Despite this, when the waitress behind the counter approached them, both ordered a hot chocolate in fear that they might not be able to stay if they didn't order something. Before Waverly could even protest, Nicole gave the woman a $20 and told her to keep the change.  
  
"You didn't have to do that," Waverly sighed and the ginger shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. They sat listening to the music for awhile, their hot chocolate cold before they finished. The business man had left not long after their arrival, and shortly after so did the teenager. When Waverly finished her drink and a new song began, something that sounded like jazz, Nicole stood a bit too quickly, startling the brunette beside her who'd been leaning into her side. Flashing an apologetic glance, she held out a hand.  
  
"Wanna dance?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Unable to contain a giggle, Waverly shook her head in amusement and stood, accepting the outstretched hand in front of her.  
  
"You know, I'm not much of a dancer, even when I'm not in this leg brace," she chuckled, gesturing down to her leg. Nicole shrugged and led them to the middle of an open spot in the room, wrapping her arms around the shorter woman's waist.  
  
"Guess I'll just have to teach you," she teased, and Waverly grinned as she rested her head on the officer's shoulder, her arms secured around her neck. They swayed in place for awhile, songs passing far too quickly for their liking. When Nicole did dare to open her eyes, she saw the man at the counter had left as well, and the single waitress had returned her eyes to her book, but she flashed a small smile towards the pair.

Nicole returned the gesture and pulled Waverly closer, and she swore that she heard the music's volume increase. When she looked back over at the waitress, her attention was completely on the pages in front of her, but there was no denying the small grin on her lips. They danced until Waverly fell asleep standing up in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think? I originally planned to have the trial go on a bit longer, but I don't know all that much anout trials and this may seem like the end of that storyline but I promise you it's not, even if it doesn't come up for awhile... ;) Anywayyyyyyy... Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you thought! :)


	15. The Battles, They Keep Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is forced to deal with a heartbreaking loss, but if Waverly has anything to do with it she’s going to help her through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!!!
> 
> I know it’s been fucking FOREVER since I’ve updated, and I’m so so sorry!!! Please please please don’t be too mad, both with how long it took and with this chapter, I know it’s sad but it has its purpose! I really hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and I’m happy to be back to writing!!

It was relatively dark when Waverly’s eyes fluttered open, but not dark enough that she was unable to recognize Nicole’s bedroom. It hurt to keep her eyes open for long so she took the process of rousing from sleep slowly, attempting to collect a conscious state of mind before she had to wake.

The first thing she noticed was that she was still in her clothes from the night before. The second was that her brace had been removed from her leg. The third, and easily most disappointing, was that she was alone in the room, and the sheets next to her were not only cold, but completely undisturbed. It was only then that her memory of the previous night began to filter in- Albeit clouded and sporadically jumping ahead in times where she had given into her exhaustion and fallen asleep, but there was enough to piece together the events of the night.

She could recall that after they’d spent their time dancing together, Nicole had carried her out of the diner they’d visited. She was awake long enough to remember walking through the door, but everything after that was dark until a random moment where she’d woken up on the drive home. Nicole had been unaware of this, and had continued quietly humming to herself in place of the radio. It was this sound that killed Waverly back to sleep, until they had arrived at the officer’s house. There were blurry images of a digital clock reading 6:18 AM, then being carried through the household, and finally feeling the comforting frame of a bed beneath her. At some point she felt the brace on her leg slide off, and though she couldn’t clearly hear what they were she was positive that she’d heard something whispered to her before she had fallen asleep for a final time, unsure whether or not Nicole had slept beside her.

When she managed to fully open her eyes and it was possible for her to move, she stood with ease and reattached her brace to her leg, thankful that it was lying within reach of the bed.

“Nicole?”

When she received no answer, the brunette was quick to deduct that the police officer was not home, knowing that Nicole would’ve easily heard her otherwise. Sure enough, as she made her way through the apartment, she found that it was quiet and empty. A lengthy, neatly printed note on the wooden table in the kitchen confirmed this notion.

“Hey Waves, you were still sleeping last night after the city so I just figured it would be easier to let you stay here. I let Wynonna know already, she said it was fine and she wasn’t planning on opening Shorty’s today anyways. Sorry for not being here when you wake up, Nedley called me in early this morning but I should only be gone until around noon. If you wanna stay and hang out when I get back that’s totally fine, but if not I understand!

I know yesterday was stressful, and you have every right to be fearful of the future after what you’ve gone through, but I promise you that I’m not going to let Champ ever hurt you again. I swear by it.

Anyways, if you do decide to stay, feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and the shower is always open, but please promise me that if you do shower you’ll be careful with your leg! Humor me and use a chair if it’ll insure that you’re safe, just don’t risk anything that could cause you more pain. That’s an order missy! If you want to change into any clothes you’re always welcome to my wardrobe. Call me if you need anything or if something happens. In the meantime, make yourself at home!

-Nicole”

Waverly grinned in amusement to herself as she read the note and stood for a few moments just holding it. Eventually, she folded it and tucked it into her back pocket, then glanced up at the digital clock on the stove. 11:04 AM. There wouldn’t really be a point in leaving, because she would likely end up spending time with Nicole later in the day anyways, and it wasn’t like she really wanted to leave anyway. There was something comforting about Nicole’s living area.

It was raining outside and the sky was a murky gray color, something Waverly hadn’t noticed until then. She was unsure as to how, considering that the sound wasn’t exactly quiet, but she didn’t question it for long. Instead, she took advantage of the opportunity to shower, and because she wasn’t entirely sure whether Nicole had been joking or not, she almost considered the idea of bringing a chair inside. She decided against it in the end, and settled rather for sitting on the ground to wash her hair with the removable shower head. Though it wasn’t the most comfortable position and it only lasted 15 minutes at the most, she felt refreshed when she had finished.

She was too unmotivated at the moment to fully dry her hair, so after changing into a pair of Nicole’s sweatpants and a baggy Purgatory Sheriffs Department t-shirt, Waverly only bothered to use the hairdryer long enough that her brunette locks weren’t dripping anymore. She then pulled it into a damp braid and settled on the couch in the living room, pulling the nearest blanket she could reach towards her and wrapping it around herself. She flipped through an array of TV channels, eventually settling for a rerun of Planet Earth when nothing in particular sparked her interest.

Not long after she’d settled into her position, she felt a gentle nuzzle against the back of her hand and looked down to see Ghost looking up at her with his tongue hanging slightly outside his mouth, his small tail wagging happily behind him. Giggling at the gesture, Waverly wasted no time in signaling him to jump up beside her, an offer that was eagerly accepted by the Eskimo puppy. It didn’t take long for her to feel a weight on her shoulder and glance over to see that Cato had joined them. The black kitten settled for a spot nestled among the folds of the blanket, and Waverly couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a little less energetic than he normally was, but she’d never owned a cat herself and was no expert on the subject, so she didn’t question it much.

As the note had specified, at 12:00 on the dot Waverly heard the unmistakable sound of Nicole’s cruiser pulling into the driveway, and she chuckled as Ghost jumped up excitedly to wait by the door. Cato took his time emerging from his spot, and Waverly almost thought he seemed annoyed at the disturbance. He did, however, follow his larger animal counterpart to the door and sat with his tail curled tightly around his legs. Ghost, for his part, barked happily as footsteps approached, and when the door opened he seized his opportunity to jump up against his owner’s leg. Despite this, the first thing she noticed Waverly’s presence and jumped slightly at the sight.

“Waves! You’re still here!” Despite her initial surprise, a pleased smile appeared on her lips. Before she could say anything more however, an irritated bark interrupted her.

“Hey buddy,” Nicole directed her focus to the Eskimo still pawing frantically at her ankle. “I know, I know,” she chuckled as if the two could understand each other, shaking her head in amusement. She bent down to ruffle his fur playfully, dropping a kiss to the top of his forehead. He seemed satisfied for the moment with the attention and padded over to a vacant seat on the armchair in the living room. The officer then turned to Cato and greeted him with a few gentle strokes to his ears before returning to a standing position.

“So uh... how are you?” she was quick to then approach the smaller woman on the couch, greeting her with a hug that both surpassed the length that it would for friends and yet still felt much too short in Waverly’s opinion.

“Good, what about you? How was work?” she asked, moving her legs to allow the officer room to sit down beside her.

“It was alright, just some reports that needed filing, nothing major,” Nicole explained with a sigh. A few moments of silence passed between the two of them before either spoke again.

“I... I want to thank you, for last night,” Waverly began. “I really needed a distraction and you were really helpful. You’re always really helpful, for Wynonna too, so I just... Thank you.”

“Of course Waves,” Nicole placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly and offered a hint of a smile, which was mirrored back to her quickly. “Oh, have you eaten? How long have you been awake?”

“Not long, I only woke up about an hour ago. And no I haven’t eaten anything, I just got a shower and changed. Thank you for the clothes by the way,” Waverly explained gratefully.

“I’ll make us lunch!” Nicole seemed all too eager to give the brunette a reason to stay so she jumped up and quickly jogged to the kitchen. In her rush however, Waverly assumed that she’d gotten ahead of herself when the sound of falling boxes proceeding a string of choice words could be heard from inside the pantry. Nothing sounded broken so there was no immediate reason for concern, and Waverly did her best to muffle her giggling. Not 10 seconds after, another round of falling objects cluttered noisily to the floor and a long silent pause followed the commotion. Eventually the fiery haired woman emerged once more from the pantry, holding an elongated box up in her hand. She offered up a sheepish smile and her cheeks went red with embarrassment.

“So uh... How does spaghetti sound?”

* * *

Three hours, nearly an entire box of spaghetti, and a quick phone call to Wynonna later, the pair found themselves in the middle of an intense game of Red Dead Redemption. Waverly had never played video games much as a kid unless they were at someone else’s house, mostly because she simply didn’t have any. When Nicole found this out she was appalled, and was adamant that they had to play something together.

Despite having almost no experience with video games, and the fact that she had spent about half of the time playing riding on a horse, Waverly had learned the controls quickly and found that she was much better than she’d anticipated. She and Nicole took turns playing together, and the rain outside still showed no sign of letting up any time soon.

Waverly had just started playing again not two minutes before when she heard a feint whimpering sound and her ears perked up. She paused the game and did her best to listen through the sound of the storm, and Nicole looked up at her in question.

“What’s up Waves?” she asked, immediately concerned that something was wrong.

“Do you hear that?” the brunette strained herself to pick out the sound, and soon enough Nicole could hear it too. They stood together and slowly followed where the sound seemed to be coming from. It wasn’t until they reached the bedroom that they found the source- Ghost, who was curled up on top of Nicole’s bed with his head down, was pawing and nudging desperately at something they couldn’t see from their position, whimpering loudly in the process.

“Ghost? Buddy, what’s the matter?” Nicole asked softly as she began to approach him, though she was hesitant to do so because she’d never seen her dog upset before, at least not like this. Waverly followed her closely behind and it was only when they reached the bed that they could make out what the Eskimo puppy had been so invested in. Curled into what looked like nothing more than a tiny bundle of black fur was Cato, but his eyes were closed and whenever Nicole felt his body it was cold.

* * *

“Cardiomyopathy.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s um... It’s basically like heart disease in cats... They uh, they said there aren’t any known causes, but it’s thought to be hereditary, so he probably has always had it... There aren’t symptoms usually until right before death so... So we probably wouldn’t have known anyway...”

It was clear by the tone of her voice even through the phone that Nicole had been crying quite heavily, and Waverly felt her heart break as she listened.

After they had discovered Cato in her bedroom, Nicole had rushed the younger woman home and taken him to the vet, unsure if he was even still alive. Waverly had insisted on staying with her, but the officer was stubborn and refused to take her anywhere but the homestead. After about an hour, she’d received a call with the news that indeed, Cato had died earlier in the day.

“Nicole... I’m so sorry,” she couldn’t think of anything else to say, but it still felt sour on her lips and she was sure that didn’t provide any comfort.

“It’s...” Nicole paused, unsure of how to continue her sentence. No, it wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t Waverly’s fault and she didn’t want her to think anything of the sort. “You couldn’t have stopped it. By the time you noticed anything...” she paused, inhaling sharply to keep her composure as she spoke, “By the time you noticed, it was probably already too late.”

“Do you need me to do anything for you? Do you want me to come over?” the request was highly appreciated, and Nicole honestly wanted nothing more than to collapse into somebody’s arms and cry, but she didn’t want to put Waverly in a position to watch any more pain. She’d already been through hell lately, and Nicole was not about to add to that.

“No, no don’t worry about me. I can’t miss any more work so I’ll be in tomorrow, and I’ll stop by and see you at Shorty’s during lunch okay?” she knew her tone wasn’t convincing, but she really hoped that Waverly wouldn’t press it any further.

“I hate leaving you alone tonight Nicole,” of course she would. Why would anything different have been expected?

“Waverly it’s alright. I should go, but I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Sleep well,” Nicole hung up her cellphone before giving the woman on the opposite end a chance to answer, and it was only then that she stood and made her way inside her house. Even though Cato had been impossibly small, the house felt empty without his presence. She looked down when she felt movement against her leg to see Ghost curled up at her feet, his eyes low and his head tucked down beneath his paws.

“I know buddy, I know,” Nicole kneeled down and wrapped the Eskimo tightly in her arms, hugging him to her chest as she collapsed onto the couch. She buried her face into his fur and her eyes burned as hot tears began to streak down her cheeks. As if sensing this, Ghost looked up at his owner and nuzzled her cheek, his fur catching some of the saltwater on her face. Nicole couldn’t bring herself to say anything to him, so instead she held him closer and closed her eyes as tight as she could.

* * *

Waverly stood anxiously at Nicole’s door, clutching the box in her arms tightly against her chest. It had been a few days since Cato’s death, and despite how hard she tried to hide it, Nicole had clearly been a mess since it happened. Every smile was clearly laced with pain, and any conversation she did engage in was distant. The loss was obviously impacting her more than she was admitting.

That was the biggest part of the reason why Waverly was doubting what she was about to do. It had literally only been three days, but in those three days she’d had to watch one of the most important people in her life slowly fall apart inside. She wouldn’t accept help easily, and she certainly wasn’t going to ask for it. And it was that thought that gave Waverly the confidence to knock on the door. But, as soon as she heard footsteps approaching, she immediately lost her confidence and wanted to drop the box and run. It was only the slight sound of movement inside that kept her from doing so.

“Waverly?” Nicole seemed a bit confused by her presence as she pulled the door back, but nonetheless offered a tired smile. It seemed painful for her to even show that much emotion. Her eyes flashed down towards the box curiously, then back up at the brunette.

“Hey, Nicole... I-“ before Waverly had a chance to say anything, she felt the box shake in her hands and the tip of a light pink nose poked out of the folds on top. Fear was the only emotion to accurately describe the younger woman’s face as she noticed the surprise in Nicole’s eyes.

“Okay, so please don’t get mad but I know how much Cato’s death has been hurting you and I’ve never had a cat or any pet really, but I read that the best way to help cope with the loss of an animal is getting a new one. I don’t know how true that is but I saw her at the animal shelter in the next city over and she already has all her shots and everything. She was rescued not long ago and I thought it might help if you had her to make it easier to deal with. I even made sure she was tested for cardiomyopathy and I-“ before Waverly could continue with her rant, a small orange tabby kitten poked her head out from inside the box, looking up at Nicole inquisitively and mewling. For a long moment, the officer could only stand and stare at the box, and Waverly was sure she had made a mistake.

“If... If you don’t want to... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this, I’m stupid,” she turned quickly and prepared to walk away, but before she could she felt a hand grab her wrist and was pulled backwards as Nicole threw her arms around her, hugging her tight against her chest. Waverly stood still for a brief moment, then leaned into the embrace, unable to truly hug her back with the box still in her arms. When they finally pulled away, Nicole was crying and laughing at the same time, and she shook her head with a disbelieving smile.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before Waverly Earp,” she almost didn’t seem to realize she’d said the words out loud, but when she noticed that she had she continued. “You’ve been through so much in your life, and you still find a way to care so much for so many other people.” At this, the brunette standing outside the doorway released a breath of relief that she’d been holding since she first arrived at the apartment.

“So... So you really like her?”

“I love her, she’s perfect,” Nicole opened the box fully to allow the orange tabby to climb out, and she couldn’t contain the smile on her face.

“She reminded me of you. You know, cause you both have ginger hair,” Waverly admitted sheepishly, and the officer had to laugh, the first real laugh in days.

“I certainly see the resemblance,” Nicole teased with a grin. “So, whats her name?”

“I left it up to you,” the list running through the ginger haired woman’s brain was already extensive, and she stared at the tabby for a few moments deep in thought.

“I don’t know, got any ideas?” she asked the kitten, who only blinked in response.

“Oh, what about-“ before Waverly could finish her suggestion, the tabby jumped out of Nicole’s grasp and ran inside, causing the two women to immediately chase after and close the door behind. They both watched in amusement as they saw that she had knocked down a small stack of some of Nicole’s old movies from the tv stand. She was now perched on the top of one of the movies and as her new owner kneeled down to see, she couldn’t help but notice the title. A wide smile broke out on her face and she picked the kitten up with a laugh.

“I guess you’ve picked your name huh,” she chuckled, holding the orange ball of fuzz up to her eye level. As she did so, Waverly turned her attention to the movie on the ground to find out what Nicole had meant when she said the cat picked her own name, and she too had to laugh as she read herself the title aloud.

“Calamity Jane?”

Nicole nodded in affirmation and held the kitten close to her chest.

“Calamity Jane.”

Waverly ignored the fact that she had no idea who the movie was named after or what it was about, because for the first time in days Nicole was genuinely happy again, and for the moment that was the only thing that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think? Let me know in the comments!! I’m sorry this chapter wasn’t too too long but I promise you that future chapters will definitely be longer! Stay tuned because next chapter is where things get REALLY interesting!


	16. Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending an emotionally intense afternoon alone, Waverly sends Nicole a vague text asking to meet and talk about something important. But before they can discuss their feelings, Nicole has a visitor at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Sorry that this update is pretty standard length, but I knew I wanted to leave this off here and I promise the next chapter will be extremely long!! Aaaaand I’m sorry I’m dragging out this slow burn XD I am enjoying it though, so I hope you enjoy and review!

The sound of rough growling and the tussling of the sheets around her is what tore Nicole from her sleep. She jolted upright and found herself blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear her vision and get a clear picture- Or at least as clear as one could get in the dark shadows of the bedroom. Squinting in order to read the neon green numbers on the digital clock by her bedside, she audibly groaned and rubbed her face in frustration. It was barely 3:00 AM, and the racket from somewhere within her bedsheets had yet to cease.

Flipping on the lamp next to her clock, Nicole then carefully felt through the covers, peeling back a few blankets to reveal two small fur balls tackling each other on repeat.

“Guys, really?” she snapped, reaching into the jumble of claws and teeth tentatively. She didn’t really care which one she got a hold of, as long as she got her two companions apart. She ended up pulling Calamity Jane closer in the end, and the kitten curled into her touch easily. Ghost barked unpleasantly, a scowling whimper rumbling in his throat.

“Can’t you two try to get along?” Nicole sighed hopelessly, looking back and forth between the two. Sometimes when she talked to animals she almost expected a response. Instead, she got blank stares back from both the Eskimo and the orange tabby. Ghost whimpered once more and cautiously made his way towards her, nuzzling his snout into her hand. Sighing and unable to truly stay mad at either one of the animals, her hand began almost absentmindedly running through his thick white fur.

He was growing more in recent times, and was now about three quarters of the size of a pillow. She knew he wouldn’t get much bigger- It was one of the reasons she’d been so eager to adopt an Eskimo- And that he was technically still just a puppy, but his size greatly surpassed that of their new feline roommate, unlike it had with Cato. Whether or not Ghost was aware of his size in comparison to Calamity Jane (Or CJ as Nicole had begun to refer to her over the course of the two weeks she’d been the owner of the cat) was unclear, but what _was_ clear was that it was becoming a problem.

She was sure that the puppy didn’t mean any harm, but not only was he much larger than his new roommate, but he also was nowhere near as open to the idea of developing a relationship with her. It was evident that he was still mourning the loss of Cato, which Nicole couldn’t blame him for. She too still missed the kitten she’d found by an incredible stroke of luck.

Waverly had taken the liberty of organizing a burial for him in the cemetery on the homestead that she had all her childhood pets in as well. The gesture had been greatly appreciated, and though she was more expecting mockery from Wynonna, Nicole had been pleasantly surprised when all she received was a one-armed hug and a few words of comfort. She’d also felt a small twinge of guilt for wrongfully judging the older woman so brazenly, knowing that the bartender- While she would never admit it to anyone and would be quick to silence anyone who tried to prove it- Was soft and caring underneath the hard exterior she portrayed so well.

Nicole did her best to push her thoughts of Waverly out of her head. She still had another two hours before she had to get up for work and she knew that without those precious hours of sleep she would at least need to drink double the amount of coffee she typically did to stay on top of her job, which she did have every intention of doing. And she also knew that if she let her thoughts wander without guidance they would bee-line towards the younger woman. Not that Waverly Earp wasn’t already always somewhere in the back of the ginger officer’s mind anyways.

Waverly Earp, and her signature smile and wave that almost seemed to be less of a charade and more a genuine display of emotion when Nicole was around. Waverly Earp, and her hypnotic, infectious laugh that could always make a room just a little bit brighter. Waverly Earp, and her incredible mind that gave dwelling to an intricate web of knowledge that was still always eager to learn. Her gorgeous hazel-green eyes with just a hint of gold around the perimeter of her irises. Her undeniably soft lips, light and naturally pink that had learned over the years how to fake a smile. Her heart, broken time and time again from betrayal and abandonment, and still somehow so full of life, so full of love-

The sudden sound of soft snoring luckily brought Nicole out of her thoughts. It was only then that she noticed the rapid pace of her heartbeat in her ears. She blinked twice, then shook her head a few times, as if it would somehow clear away her thoughts. She turned her attention to the sleeping Eskimo puppy beside her, the corners of her lips turning up into a simper of affection. Setting Calamity Jane down next to Ghost, she then leaned back and switched the lamp off. In the darkness, she found her comfort in the feeling of holding two bundles of soft fur against her chest.

* * *

Waverly would have to be blind not to notice the worry in her sisters eyes, but she did her best to ignore it because she needed this.

“Wy, I’ll be fine. It’s just an afternoon,” she promised, placing a hand on the older woman’s shoulder.

“I... It’s not that I don’t think you’ll be fine Waves, it’s just that... Well you won’t even tell me where you’re going, and I don’t want to have to get a phone call later saying that something happened to you, especially if I let you put yourself in harms way,” Wynonna rarely showed emotion like this. She prided herself on keeping a stone face in all situations, but even she couldn’t hide the fear in her eyes at the thought of her sister leaving alone for an afternoon to a location she didn’t even know. “And well... You’ve been through a lot lately...” the bartender trailed off, casting her gaze to the floor.

For a moment, Waverly was unsure as to what point Wynonna was trying to make, but then the older woman reached out and held gently to her wrist. Her gaze was directed at her sister, but it was as if she was looking straight through the brunette, to some distant object of focus miles and miles away.

“Wynonna...” Waverly began, placing a hand on either shoulder of the dark haired woman in front of her. “I’m not getting bad again, I promise. I just... I need some time to clear my head. You’re right, I’ve been through a lot. We _both_ have. And I have to let myself process it all.”

It wasn’t a lie- There were quite a few things that the younger of the Earp sisters needed some time alone to break down.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was still scared to fall asleep at night, for fear that Champ would still find a way to hurt her, or that she would have nightmares about the experience. There was also the death of their mother. Granted, she’d accepted the loss of the woman who’d birthed her long ago, but actually knowing she was dead rather than just assuming was a different story, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wish she could’ve made amends, or at least had an opportunity to meet Wendy face to face one last time.

And then there was Nicole, the fiery haired woman who’d been by her side- By _both_ of the Earp sister’s sides- Through everything they’d been dealing with. What were they to each other?

Were they really just good friends? No, it was much more than that. Friends didn’t feel the kinds of things for each other that they did. Friends didn’t look at each other the way they did, with such longing and adoration. Friends didn’t hug for an extra few seconds when they greeted each other, waiting longer and longer to pull apart with each time.

Was she like another sister? _God_ no, that sounded even worse. Wynonna and Nicole were very similar in more ways than they knew, especially in their willingness to protect Waverly with everything they had, but the connections were very different.

Wynonna was someone that Waverly looked to when she needed a rolemodel. And as ill-advised as it probably was to look to the bartender in that way, she couldn’t help it. Ever since she was just a kid, she’d always looked up to her big sister, admired her for how strong she had to be through everything they’d been through.

But Nicole... She was someone else entirely. She was safety. She was warmth. She was familiar scents, gentle but protective embraces, a smile that made Waverly’s heart flutter and wonder what it would be like to feel a grin like that against her own.

That only left the youngest Earp girl with limited options as to what her feelings for the officer could be, all of them more and more terrifying than the previous. And it was because of the terror she felt inside that she needed to take an afternoon to think everything through without any distractions. She just needed to drive somewhere else- Anywhere else- For just a few hours at least.

“I wish you’d at least tell me where you’re going,” Wynonna complained again as Waverly pulled on a jacket and sighed. Truthfully, she didn’t know herself where she was going, and even if she wanted to inform her sister she had no valid answer anyways. So instead, she opted to avoid the topic all together. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to the bartender’s cheek, lingering for just a second longer than normal.

“I’ll be back,” she didn’t say when, because she really didn’t know. Wynonna didn’t ask.

* * *

“You really have lost it, haven’t you.”

It took Waverly longer than she would’ve liked to admit to realize that the voice was her own. She looked down at the dry dust around her fingertips, her eyes landing on a nearby shard of glass that she- As much as she wished she didn’t- Recognized well.

“Yes, I have.”

Talking with herself had been an old coping mechanism that Waverly had learned as a child, though from where she didn’t exactly remember. But she _did_ remember that through the loss of over half her family and with all the changes that had suddenly been thrust upon her life, her former self had found the technique comforting.

She’d forced herself to forget about it, however, when school started up again in the fall.

She’d walked into the elementary doors with a bulls eye on her back, and as mean as she knew her young classmates to be in their teasing about her screwed up family, she didn’t want to imagine what they would do if they found out she talked to herself. They had enough reason to believe she was out of her mind.

“What are you going to do?”

Waverly didn’t know how to answer the question, even coming from herself. She had parked her Jeep alongside the road about an hour ago, and was now sitting beneath the tree that her mother’s ashes were spread beneath. She didn’t know why she’d decided to use this place as her destination, but when she noticed the area it was as if she had no control over her actions.

She had pulled over and stepped out of her Jeep in an almost zombie-like fashion, and now she found herself sitting against the base of the tree, her eyes trained on the sky over the horizon, where the sun had just begun to set. Even in all the time she’d spent sitting alone, her thoughts had been so jumbled that she hadn’t even been able to pinpoint a specific one to focus on

She couldn’t even close her eyes without the fear that when she opened them again Champ would be there, smiling that sickening grin as his eyes undressed her mentally.

She’d sort of lied to Wynonna when she said she wasn’t getting bad again, because in a way- She was. Maybe she had more self control than before, and knew the consequences of self harm, but that didn’t take away the itch in her hand or the intrusive thoughts that bombarded her head anytime she was even near a sharp blade. But she couldn’t tell her sister about that. She just couldn’t force herself to do it 

The world felt so out of control, so unfamiliar and out of reach. It was like everything was slowly slipping through the cracks and there was nothing that could stop it. Well, _almost_ everything.

There was one thing- Or rather, one _person_ \- Who even in the midst of chaos found a way to act as the eye of the storm. One person who made all the confusion melt away, and yet without even trying only added to it in the end. Or maybe... Maybe it wasn’t confusion at all.

Maybe it was doubt. Uncertainty. The fear that if these feelings were really what she thought they were, that they would only bring her pain in the end.

“Mama?” Waverly wasn’t sure why she thought talking to a woman she hadn’t seen since childhood would be of any comfort, especially when said woman had abandoned her again when she realized her mistakes wouldn’t just be brushed under the carpet. And yet, the idea that her mom could possibly hear her words brought a warmth to her cheeks, and it was only then that she realized she was crying.

”Mama... What am I gonna do? I’m so scared... I’m so terrified to feel things. I don’t want to get hurt again,” her voice was now just above a cracked whisper, and she wiped at her cheeks furiously. “How could you do that to us? How could you leave us alone like that, just because things were hard?” now the brunette was moreso shouting than anything, and she stood angrily, staring at the tree in front of her.

“Did you justify it to yourself? Did you think that it was for the best, that we’d be better off without you because you couldn’t keep yourself together? Did you tell yourself over and over that we’d be alright without you?” She didn’t even know why she was so upset. She hadn’t acted this way when they had disposed of her ashes. She hadn’t felt this way when she found out Wendy was really dead. She hadn’t even been this way when she had first been abandoned. But, until that very moment, the idea that her mother really could never come back hadn’t properly sunk in. There was always some irrational idea that maybe, just maybe it wasn’t the end. Until now. Waverly kicked at the tree angrily, ignoring the immediate pain that shot up her leg. “Well guess what Wendy-“ she sneered the name, bitter on her tongue, “You were wrong! You were wrong about everything!”

Feeling the remaining strength in her begin to drain almost immediately, she sunk to unstable knees with quivering lips, her entire body shaking and angry.

”You were wrong Mama... You were... I didn’t...” now all she could do was choke her words out, trying to steady her breathing so she didn’t start to hyperventilate. As a child, she’d struggled with severe anxiety and suffered major panic attacks at the most random of times. She couldn’t help the bitter thought that flashed in her head that her mom didn’t even know that about her. Didn’t know _anything_ about her, really.

And yet, if she had the choice, and it was really all up to her, Waverly was almost ashamed that she couldn’t even deny it to herself- She would take her mother back in a heartbeat. She would  _gladly_ accept an offer to start her life over, to grow up with a mom who didn’t leave and a dad who didn’t take his life. Even after all the betrayal and the lies, after all the pain she’d caused her youngest daughter, Waverly still wanted her back.

She still wanted to be able to curl up under her old pink sheets, with her favorite rabbit toy clutched in her hand as her mom read her stories till she fell asleep. She still wanted to wake up to the smell of homemade pancakes and French toast on Saturday mornings, where she would race Wynonna to the kitchen and they could still have conversations with Willa. She still wanted to curl up in her parent’s bed during a thunderstorm, the comforting jasmine scent from her mother’s perfume helping to soothe her through the thunder and rain.

”We needed you... _I_ needed you-” Waverly didn’t dare complete her sentence, as if it would somehow help her refuse to accept the knowledge the rest of it contained.

_I still do._

The younger Earp shivered and pulled her knees into her chest, letting her head fall in frustration.

_I’m sorry._

The words weren’t spoken, they weren’t heard with a voice, and they probably weren’t anything more than Waverly’s own subconscious giving herself some sort of closure, even if it wasn’t real. It almost sounded as if the apology had been carried by the wind, spoken in some foreign land where they had caught a strand of a breeze and made the tiring journey just to ghost over her ears.

When she lifted her head, the sky had long since gone dark, and the air had dropped significantly in temperature. The breeze had become a howling, invisible barrier, and it burned against the tear streaks of salt over her red face. The younger Earp sister curled into herself with a shiver, unable to ignore the longing she felt for Nicole, to curl into her protective arms so if nothing else, she could feel safe.

* * *

Wynonna had to admit that running Shorty’s alone wasn’t easy, but she knew Waverly needed some time to herself and she wasn’t about to deny her sister that. She was worried, obviously, but the younger woman was an adult and could make decisions for herself, and the bartender had no right to tell her otherwise. Sometimes Wynonna had to remind herself of that.

During her years in England, she’d never really thought about the fact that Waverly would be growing up without her- At least, not physically. Maybe it was nostalgia, or maybe it was just that her brain had somehow kept her from being consciously aware of the fact. As long as the picture of Waverly in her head was still the same, it hadn’t felt as if she really was missing as much as she was. But, the moment she’d seen the younger woman when she returned, the first time in years that they’d even been on the same continent, she was struck with a wave of guilt and it had suddenly dawned on her how much time had passed.

Wynonna did her best to push those thoughts out of her mind. Waverly had assured her numerous times that she didn’t blame her for leaving, and though the bartender seriously doubted it she had never really pressed the issue. She was quite sure however, that somewhere deep down in her sister’s mind- Maybe somewhere so hidden that she didn’t even know it herself- She had some resentment for Wynonna.

“Hey, can I get another round or what?”

A sudden voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she blinked a few times before filling another mug for the customer in front of her, practically muscle memory by now.

Running the entire bar on her own was a pain in the ass, but Shorty’s had been on a random schedule the past month or so that was impossible for anyone to definitely predict, so she was determined to at least get her business back and running on a semi-normal basis. Not only that, but it was the Earp sister’s only source of income, and she would happily give her right arm for Waverly, but hospital bills weren’t cheap and they still needed to make a living. It was rare that she ever opened for the night, but she’d spent the day at home relaxing anyways, and people were for some reason more willing to spend money in later hours. Which was probably a bit of exploitation, but for the moment Wynonna didn’t care. So much had been happening lately that she got a headache just thinking about it.

Luckily, she’d managed to find a moment to herself where business was slow, and she let her head fall to the counter with a loud sigh. Normally whiskey would have been the first thing she used for stress relief, but she had been doing her bet lately to cut down on alcohol. After what felt like at least half an hour, Wynonna lifted her head once more, and she nearly scowled as she looked around the bar.

Not that she had any sense of design or decoration, but even she had to admit that the building was about as bland as they came. It had never bothered her before, not even a little bit, but suddenly it was almost painful to look at the dreary windows and the bland atmosphere around her. Why it was suddenly so important to her she had no idea- Maybe it was just her mind’s way of distracting her from worrying about Waverly- But now Wynonna had to wonder if there was some way she could liven up the place at all.

She remembered from when she was a kid that Shorty always had bands playing at the bar on Wednesday’s and Friday’s, and occasionally on Saturday if he felt like it. Maybe looking into hiring live music wouldn’t hurt. After all, it wasn’t like there were many other ways she could even offer entertainment. She decided in the end to think on it, and with a loud sigh she returned her head to it’s position on the counter.

* * *

When Nicole opened the door to her apartment, she immediately collapsed on the couch, not bothering to take the time to even remove her boots. She winced audibly at the pain in her back, and even when she felt a welcoming nuzzle against her hand from the snout of a growing white Eskimo, it didn’t provide much relief.

Not only had work been physically exhausting, but she was emotionally drained. Not seeing Waverly even for a few hours felt like torture, and going an entire day without even receiving so much as a text message was hell. And that wasn’t even considering all the worry she had been trying to suppress for the younger brunette.

But it wasn’t like she didn’t understand. Waverly had been through so much lately, and taking some time for herself honestly sounded like a good method to help her clear her head. She’d been in contact with Wynonna most of the day trying to comfort the elder Earp, which seemed to help the both of them but didn’t completely ease their worry. They both knew she’d perfected her abilities to hide her true emotions well over the years, through what could only be called forced practice.

As if on cue, like she somehow knew she was on the officer’s mind, Nicole’s phone suddenly pinged to alert her to a message.

“Hey, I need to see you. I have to tell you something and I can’t do it over text. I’m scared that if I don’t do it now I won’t ever be able to do it... Can we meet up?”

After re-reading the text four times to confirm the words to herself, Nicole was suddenly aware of her pulse drumming in her ears. There was a myriad of possibilities that could explain the message- Some of them bad, a lot of them worse, and a very small few that could be wonderful.

“Of course, where?”

As she hit send, a knock at her door startled her so much that she dropped the phone in her hands, taking a moment to recollect her wits before picking it back up. Had Waverly just decided to see if she was home anyway? With a nervous inhale and a few mumbled words of confidence that failed to reassure her, she steadily approached her door.

“Hello?” she asked as she pulled it back, expecting to see a short familiar brunette smiling at her on the other side. Instead, she was met face-to-face with a woman even taller than herself. Short blonde hair framed her face, longer on the left than on the right, and she stood cradling a sleeping boy that couldn’t have been older than 5 tightly to her chest. Nicole’s body was frozen in place, and all she could do was stare.

The woman’s blue eyes were tired and drained as they made contact with deep brown ones, and she seemed at just as much of a loss for words. Gathering all the strength she could muster, Nicole choked out the name some she hadn’t thought she would ever see again.

“Nora?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you guys think? Why is Nora back? What does Waverly have to tell Nicole? Stay ready for the next update coming soon, reviews always welcome!!!


	17. Words, There Are None

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the arrival of her sister Nora, Nicole if left to ponder thousands of questions and is faced with some devastating news. And what’s worse, is that Waverly might not be able to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings!!! I wanted to start and end the notes with this in case anyone only reads the top or just catches the end when they start to read, but this is extremely important!! This chapter does not have as many references or triggers as some of the others, but self harm and panic attacks are both mentioned at one point by Nora. I know it may seem silly to some of you to include a trigger warning about something that’s simply mentioned once, but I know personally I suffer with panic and anxiety attacks often and things can trigger them easily, and I do struggle with depression, though not self harm, but I’m sure it’s the same thing for some other people. So please be aware that these things are mentioned here, and if you can’t read them please don’t feel obligated to!!
> 
> Hey guys!! Thank you all so so so much for sticking with this story for so long now!!! I can’t believe it’s been 17 chapters already!! (And that WayHaught still haven’t even kissed?!?! That’s insanity!!) Anyways, this chapter is definitely a bit longer and it’s very dramatic. There’s a lot of insight into Nora’s perspective on things, along with some hints and snippets of backstory about what’s been happening with her and Ross the past few years.
> 
> I think this chapter is one of my favorites that I’ve written, because it’s so informative and yet it’s so subtle and secretive as well. There’s so much potential that gets built up, so many things that prepare you to know more, and yet all of them are left just hanging in the air until they are further explained. It really is just a boatload of exposition that opens up so many doors for chapter 18. Not only that, but it’s very emotional, and there’s a lot of heartbreak for everybody involved, but it’s all for their own specific reasons.
> 
> Next chapter will be a lot more explaining, I PROMISE you guys, but for this one it really felt fitting to just create the buildup for next time. I’m shocked it’s as long as it is with just what is happening, but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless! I’m sure there will be a lot of questions and concerns about what’s happening, so make sure you stay tuned for next time and you get some answers!
> 
> But of course remember- Most answers only lead to more questions ;)
> 
> Trigger warnings!!! Just mentioning this again down here for anybody who skipped the notes but may still see this! I won’t make this one too long, please read the warnings at the top of the notes and make the choice whether or not you feel that you’re able to read!!

It had been at least a full ten minutes of silence, and neither of the two women sitting in the living room seemed keen on breaking it any time soon. The boy who had been carried in- Konnor, as Nicole had learned through a mutter from her sister that she wasn’t entirely sure was meant to be spoken aloud- Was asleep on the armchair across the room, as the two sisters sat side by side on the couch.

Nicole’s phone continued to light up every few minutes reminding her of the text she’d received from Waverly, but it remained untouched and undisturbed on the side table next to the arm of the couch. Each time the reminder for the message popped up, it vibrated a for a few moments, and each time it made Nicole flinch, but not jump.

“Are you home? I can meet you at your apartment if you want. I’m just on my way back into town, so I can be there in less than 15 minutes.”

It was an ignored and a forgotten message by now, or maybe Nicole wasn’t even consciously aware that it existed in the first place, but it still persisted in its efforts to receive an answer from the officer it was sent to. She was still lost in her thoughts, unsure of what to do or say next. Nora, for her part, remained silent and still, her hands clutched tightly together so that her knuckles were white. Her gaze was fixated on her feet and she didn’t dare raise her head.

Nicole took this moment to take in the sight of the woman beside her. Not much had changed, as far as physical appearance. Her stature remained lean and just over 6 feet, barely passing her sister in height. The officer hadn’t seen her sister’s hair short since childhood- Ever since their mom had one day when Nora was in first grade forced her to have her blonde locks cut down to just above her ears, she’d refused to let anyone cut it except for Ross, and their younger ginger sibling when she was old enough.

She only ever let them cut the ends, nothing more than an inch at most, but now the blonde locks were trimmed to just above her shoulders, with one side shaved to nothing more than two inches at most.

Before that moment, Nicole would have bet her left arm, would’ve offered up the guitar she’d received for Christmas as a kid, and promised to only speak in Yiddish or pig Latin for a year that Nora would never truly “cut” her hair again. Nicole knew better than anyone that the older musician didn’t just keep her hair long because she liked it, though that certainly was part of it.

But no, the larger portion of the reasoning behind her actions was that she prided herself on defiance, took joy in watching the way their parent’s lips would twist into scowls and frowns of disappointment, because it only made it more fun for her to smirk back in their face and wordlessly challenge them to do something about it. There was no material possession they could take away from her that she would have missed, and if there was she’d already know a way to retrieve it or get a new one. Ross was the same way. There was never any doubt that the two musicians were siblings, even more so twins.

At the thought of Ross, the auburn haired woman bit down on her tongue. The more she wondered of the whereabouts of her brother, the harder it was to bite back the questions eating away at her skull trapped inside her head, but she knew it wasn’t yet time to ask. However, that didn’t stop her from wondering.

As puzzling as his absence was, Nora’s presence was equally so, both because the twins were practically inseparable and because Nicole wasn’t entirely sure as to how the blonde had even discovered where to find her. After all, though the terms had been great when she and Ross left to follow their career in music, they hadn’t spoken to Nicole in years. Smartphones had only been recently invented at the time, and certainly none of the three siblings had them.

They didn’t necessarily grow up in poverty, but money was always tight with their parents working together as employees for a multi-million marketing campaign only for mediocre pay. It wasn’t until Nicole was out of the house, well into the academy, and working every free hour she could at Starbucks while saving as much as she could that she was able to afford a proper cellphone that didn’t involve pressing the same button three times to get the letter she needed.

Because of those boundaries, they never had a way of communication between each other, and finding a way to do so became less and less prevalent over the years. Their website had listed a phone number, but Nicole had only called it once because she had received an old voicemail and assumed the number was no longer in use. Neither of the twins used Facebook- The red head had checked multiple times- And so, they’d simply lost contact. Nicole had always planned on someday getting back in touch with her family, but since committing to the academy and a life as an officer of the law, along with the adventures she had been on in Purgatory, she’d lost motivation to somehow find a way.

It was Nora who made the first move, much to her sister’s surprise. Without warning or hesitation, she suddenly threw her arms around Nicole’s frame in one sleek move. Within an instant the ginger was clinging tightly to her sister’s dark leather jacket and biting her lip in an attempt to hold back tears. She felt arms snake around her waist and was pulled further into the embrace, both holding the other as if they were afraid of letting go.

A million other questions were racing in Nicole’s head. There were plenty of things she needed to ask, plenty of other things she needed to _know_ , all of which- When answered- Would lead only to more and more questions as they progressed. She wasn’t sure why she settled on what she did, but it was the first thing out of her mouth when she attempted to speak and it was too late to take it back.

“What are you doing here?”

Nicole hadn’t meant it to sound cold or harsh, but even she couldn’t help but flinch at the bite her words had to them. It wasn’t that she was _upset_ with Nora, it was just... Well okay, she was upset. She was more than that. Hell, she was _pissed_. Old memories of the betrayal and abandonment she’d struggled with as a teenager began rushing back, and she sniffled hard to avoid shedding tears. Of course she loved her siblings- They were the only two people who had ever truly cared for her (Save until she met the Earp sisters and Nedley) and pushed her to reach her potential. But, they’d also left her to her parents, left her to suffer in silence as she counted the years and the months and the seconds until she could finally leave.

She pulled back and looked up at the blonde, and Nora couldn’t help the grimace that overtook her features. She glanced at the floor for a few moments, her lip between her teeth, then looked back up at her sister.

“Nicky... I...” she trailed off, and Nicole felt her heart lurch at her old childhood nickname. Tears welled up in Nora’s eyes and she wiped at them furiously in an attempt to stop them from falling. She shook her head and ran a hand over her face in frustration, biting down on her lip as she struggled to search for the right words to say. “I need to tell you-”

“Aunt Nora?” a small, sleep-worn voice interrupted the conversation, and Nora’s head immediately snapped towards the armchair across the room where Konnor had now started to stir.

“Hey buddy,” she offered him a soft smile, and he made his way over to her sleepily, immediately burrowing into her opened arms. Nicole couldn’t help but take notice that his hair was a remarkably similar shade of auburn to her own. It was straight, though a few strands of it stuck up in various places, and it was impossible to tell whether or not it was natural formation or just a bad case of bed-head.

“Where are we at?” he asked with a high-pitched yawn, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Nora looked up at her sister, then back down at the child in her arms, and she let out a sigh. She adjusted him on her lap so he could look up at her, and she tucked a strand of his hair back down, smoothing it into place before answering his question.

“We’re at your Auntie Nicole’s house bud, just like I promised. I told you we were going to go see her so she can finally meet you, remember?” she asked, and he nodded as he balled up a clump of her shirt in his fist. Nicole’s surprised gaze was enough of an indicator that Nora realized she needed to further explain.

“Nicky, this is your nephew Konnor,” she introduced formally with a nervous shake to her voice, and he looked up at her curiously.

“Nephew?” since when did she have a nephew?

“Uh-huh. I’m Konnor, I’m 5 years old!” he announced firmly, holding up his hand to further clarify his age. Nicole could only nod at the smaller ginger and offer a halfhearted smile. He grinned up at her with a cheeky laugh, a gap on his top row of teeth where he likely had recently lost a baby tooth. Her phone suddenly chimed then, alerting her of a new message, and it startled her to the point that she almost knocked the device off the table, but she managed to recollect herself and checked the lock screen.

“Hey, is everything okay? I’m honestly only a minute away. Am I allowed to stop by?”

Panic began to rise in Nicole’s chest. How would she be able to explain her sister’s sudden presence? How could she focus on anything but seeing Nora again after years of not talking? And where in the world was Ross? Why wasn’t he with her? Who the hell was Konnor? How on earth did she have a nephew? Did he belong to Nora? To Ross?

“Nicky, I have to talk to you about something important,” Nora’s voice snapped the officer out of her thoughts before she could concoct a proper reply to Waverly and she looked up from her phone. The blonde musician’s eyes landed on Konnor and she hesitated, biting her bottom lip as her eyes scanned the living-room and surrounding area.

“Konnor, honey, can you do something for me? It’s super important bud,” she asked the boy softly, who quickly perked up and nodded vigorously, the tired glaze in his eyes almost immediately dissolved. “Great. I need you to go out to the car and get me the blanket, the one with the blue and green squares on it. Do you think you can handle that for me? You know where the bag is, in the back seat?”

“Yeah, I know where it is!” he promised, jumping up excitedly and rushing out the door. Nicole took the opportunity to rapid fire questions at her sister.

“Nora, what’s going on? How the hell did you even get here? And why did you bring him here? Why do you even have him? Is he yours? Where is Ross?” Nicole could barely keep up with her own words, and she watched as Nora’s face fell at the mention of their brother. A thin film of tears began to form over her eyes and she blinked rapidly to try and hold them back. Slowly, she reached out and took her younger sister’s hand in her own, squeezing tightly and holding eye contact between the two of them.

“Nicky, I don’t... I mean- I didn’t...” Nora whimpered, unable to choke back the sob that escaped her throat. “Nicole, sweetie... Ross is dead.”

“Hey Aunt Nora, there’s a girl here! She said she wants to see Auntie N’cole!” Konnor’s voice interrupted the conversation as he walked back inside, a large blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape, and the hand of a short, familiar brunette held firmly in his own.

“Waverly?”

* * *

Nicole couldn’t think.

She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t look around, and she couldn’t feel. She expected tears on her face, anticipated falling to her knees and screaming out to the heavens for an explanation. It never happened. She waited for the wave of pain, the rush of anger, the explosion of emotions to storm down on her all at once. It never came. She tried several times opening her mouth in hopes that something- A sentence, a word, a _sound_ \- Would come out. It never did, and she closed her mouth again. Since uttering Waverly’s name in surprise at her entrance, she had yet to even move again.

Her gaze was steady and locked on a spot against the far wall, and any words that she heard sounded muffled and distant, as if spoken through an old radio or by someone whose mouth had been covered by a pillow. She was aware that she was breathing, but as she tried to suck in a breath she completely forgot how to purposefully do it, so she could only hope that her involuntary functions remained stable enough to keep oxygen flowing through her circulatory system.

“Nicole, say something, _please_ ,” Waverly sat to one side of the officer, confused and panicked at the lack of response she was showing. Since her arrival, the auburn haired woman sitting on the edge of the couch cushion had yet to utter a single word, or even acknowledge the presence of the younger brunette. “Come on, it’s me- It’s Waverly! You know who I am, talk to me! What’s wrong? What happened?” she pleaded, grasping one hand tightly between her own. She received no response other than the muffled sound of a video game a few feet away, and risked stealing a glance to the young boy sitting across the room.

Perched in a cross-legged position on the armchair was Konnor, locks of his spiked red hair pushed up out of his face. If he noticed that anything was out of the ordinary, he had yet to make it known. He sat content and distracted with a pair of Nora’s headphones on, icy blue eyes fixated on a small tablet in his lap. At Waverly’s arrival, Nora hadn’t questioned her presence, too concerned for her sister’s well-being, so she’d hurriedly ordered the young boy to retrieve his device from her purse and had adjusted her headphones so they fit comfortably over his small ears.

“She can’t hear you,” Nora, who sat on the other side, informed the brunette as she returned her gaze to the officer. “She hasn’t done this since... Hell, she couldn’t have been older than 12.”

“12? What’s going on? What’s wrong with her? And who are you?” Waverly’s gaze was frequently shifting between the unresponsive ginger at her side and the taller blonde at the opposite end.

There were no distinctive physical features that pointed towards a blood relation, but the younger Earp couldn’t help but assume that this was Nicole’s sister. She knew that look of worry, that guilt-ridden stare of shame and desperate drive to fix something that was already missing it’s broken pieces. She’d seen it all too many times- Not just from Wynonna, but from her own reflection, staring back scornfully at her in the mirror at the latest and earliest hours of twilight.

The policewoman had never before mentioned having siblings, but then again she hadn’t really brought up much of anything else in her past either. In fact, the only time Waverly could definitively say that she had ever heard Nicole speak of family was when she offhandedly commented that she didn’t speak to her parents, and that was simply because she had been explaining how she joined the academy.

Nora ignored the questions for the moment. Answering any of them would have required a backstory that- While ultimately explaining all of the shorter woman could possibly conjure up- Would take time she didn’t have. So instead, she settled for kneeling in front of her sister and cupping the sides of her face, deep blue nails lightly grazing over the skin of her cheeks. She tilted Nicole’s head towards her and tucked a strand of loose red hair behind her ear.

Making eye contact with her younger sister wasn’t a challenge, but the gaze was not at each other, rather Nora’s watery blue irises staring into hazel walls that could see right through her. It would be a a useless attempt and she knew it, but she decided to try talking to Nicole anyway, simply praying that things wouldn’t be as bad this time around. She was doubtful, but she couldn’t just sit and do nothing. That wasn’t her way of doing things- It never had been.

“Dammit Nicky, don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to _yourself_. I know...” Nora wavered, only once, but she choked back her pain and continued on. “I know you don’t want this again, not like this. Don’t you remember what happened last time? How long it took to- I mean... How painful it was to... I... Don’t you want to... _Fuck_ , come on Nicole!” she desperately begged the officer, her pupils wide and desperate. She squeezed a bit tighter around Nicole’s face and watched for any sign of consciousness, any sort of clue that would let her know her sister wasn’t truly gone yet.

After a moment, Nicole slowly shifted her gaze towards Waverly and held her eyes, then looked back to her sister, but she remained unresponsive and retained her thousand-yard-stare into the distance. After a hesitant moment, Nora sighed and let her head fall, inhaling sharply and letting her hands slide down off the ginger’s face. She kept her face pressed against Nicole’s legs, keeping her hands placed lightly at either side of her waist.

“What’s wrong with her? Should... Should we take her to a hospital? I mean... What’s happening? Is she going to be okay?” Waverly asked shakily, tears unabashedly dripping from her eyes. Her lips quivered as she spoke, her gaze never left Nicole, and she kept one hand on her arm at all times. It was only then that Nora lifted her head to actually get a decent look at someone who was to her a stranger in her sister’s apartment.

“She’ll be... Well wait. First of all, who are you? How do you know Nicole?” Nora asked, taking a moment to actually consider who this woman was.

“I’m her- ” Waverly paused, unsure of how to answer. What was she? Certainly more than a friend, even though nothing had yet happened between the two, but explaining that required a lengthy backstory so she settled anyway. “Waverly,” she finished, deciding that was the best answer she could give. “I’m a friend. A good friend. What about you?” The word felt bitter on her tongue, and Nora seemed to understand that the term _friend_ was being used loosely, but she didn’t question it further. She also, however, didn’t bother responding to the question she was asked in return.

“Look, I... I’m glad Nicole has a good friend like you, whoever you may be, and I’m glad you’re worried about her, but... She’s gonna need some time to herself. I think it’s best if you go,” she didn’t look away from her sister while she spoke.

“Go?” Waverly’s voice broke. Nora could tell that the smaller woman beside her was upset, but she’d seen this kind of behavior in the officer before and she knew that Nicole needed to be alone. But, not wanting to upset this seemingly harmful friend, she did her best to explain it gently.

“Listen, Waverly... I can’t really answer all of... This-” she paused and gestured between the four people in the room, “At the moment. There’s a lot Nicole probably hasn’t told you yet, and it’s her place to do it, not mine. But right now... Right now what she’s going to need is time alone. When she was younger, she used to have panic attacks, to the point where she’d get sick. And if it wasn’t panic attacks, it was cutting herself in the bathtubs with razor blades,” Waverly nearly gagged on a scream at the thought of Nicole ever hurting herself in such a way. She managed to keep her composure, but just barely, and Nora continued on.

”Then when that all stopped, this started. If something bad happened, she’d just go silent for days. She wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t sleep, and she wouldn’t talk to anybody. I don’t even think she ever left her room. I thought they stopped when she turned 12, but I’m not surprised it’s happening now,” Nora could see the worry clearly etched into the lines of Waverly’s face, so she tentatively reached out a hand and placed it on the younger woman’s arm.

“I know you’re worried, and I’m grateful for it. You care about her, and that makes you good in my book. But I really need to take care of her alone for a little while. In a few days things will be settled down, and you can come see her then okay?”

“A... A few days?” Waverly’s expression clearly showed that a few days without seeing Nicole was not something she was eager about, so Nora stood and offered out a hand. She waited until Waverly took it before continuing.

“Waverly, I am _promising_ this to you, Nicole is in good hands, and I don’t go back on my word. Okay? Nothing’s gonna happen to her, and when this all calms down she can talk about it with you. In the meantime, just... Can you try not to worry? Trust me?” the older musician knew it was a risky move, asking an actual stranger to trust her with someone who was clearly important to the brunette, but regardless and a bit to Nora’s surprise Waverly nodded and squeezed her hand tightly. She inhaled sharply, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes, then kneeled down beside Nicole and cupped the side of her cheek, her hand lingering just a moment longer than necessary.

She mumbled something too low for Nora to make out on Nicole’s ear and the blonde didn’t bother trying to decipher what the words were. She was doubtful that her sister could hear them at all, but whether or not she could, they were for Nicole’s ears, not her own. Waverly leaned her head against the side of the ginger woman’s temple, holding her eyes closed for a few brief moments before standing and nodding in Nora’s direction as she left without a word. At the sound of the door closing, Konnor looked up from his game.

“Aunt Nora, what’s a matter with Auntie N’cole?” he asked, looking over at the silent woman sitting perfectly still on the couch. Nora sighed and picked the small boy up in her arms, holding him close to her chest and kissing his temple.

“She’s just sad baby, about your daddy. Remember?” she hated bringing Konnor’s dad up in front of him, but she knew being honest with him was important and that if she tried to lie it would only make matters worse in the end. She’d learned from a child development class in high school that she had no idea how she remembered that children were smarter than they were able to physically express because their development of communication normally was slower than their development of mind, and that lying to them could lead to long-term affects involving mistrust and rebellion.

She wasn’t certain how true that was, but she didn’t plan on taking chances. As expected, the red haired boy in her arms shifted a bit uncomfortably, his eyes drooping and his head ducking slightly.

“But daddy is up in the sky right? Playing music with all the other music-ans?” Nora couldn’t help the watery smile that formed at his mispronunciation of the word musician and didn’t have the heart to correct him.

“That’s right sweetie. Daddy is up there in music heaven, and he’s playing for everybody else up there,” she settled into the armchair with Konnor tucked in tightly against her chest, and he frowned slightly.

“But... Isn’t Papa coming back? He’s not up with Daddy is he?” the child asked with a tilted head, his eyes furrowed in confusion. Nora felt a sting in her chest and shook her head. Though it had only been two weeks ago, Konnor had taken the death of his father surprisingly well, and he seemingly was capable of understanding what death was. Of course, Nora wasn’t sure if he wasn’t entirely aware that he would never get see Ross again because he was remarkably well collected and if he truly grasped the entire concept he probably wouldn’t be, but Konnor had shown that he understood his dad was gone- At least for a long time. Well, _one_ of his dads. But the other?

She couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t furious with Artie for abandoning his son after Ross’s car accident, but she also couldn’t say she didn’t understand the pain he felt looking into Konnor’s strikingly familiar blue eyes. They had wanted to keep the biological father a secret, but by the time Konnor was two his hair was a brilliant, fiery red, and his eyes were just as bright as Ross’ own, so it was no secret whose traits he had received. Artie had no record of red hair in his family, not for hundreds of generations. He knew because his mother had been big on genealogy and she displayed their family tree in their dining room with traces all the way back to the fourteenth century. Ross had even actually written a song about having red hair, and he had told Nora that someday when they saw Nicole again he was going to perform it for the two of them.

“Papa... Well, Papa was really sad about Daddy dying too bud. And sometimes when people are sad, they want to be alone. Like Auntie Nicole,” she gestured to where her sister was still sitting motionless on the couch. “So I think Papa just needed to be alone, because he’s so sad about Daddy.”

“But doesn’t he wanna stay with me and you? Doesn’t he love us?” Konnor seemed more confused than hurt, which was a good sign in Nora’s eyes, but it made it no easier trying to explain to a five year old that his dad was dead and his other dad had run out on him, and they would likely never see either of them again.

“Of course he loves you buddy, Papa loves you more than anything. He told me so himself,” it wasn’t even a lie- Artie really _had_ sat down one night with Nora a few weeks before their surrogate was due to deliver and confessed to her all of his fears, his nerves, and his excitement for his child. That even without knowing anything about him, even without having a clue what he looked like or what his personality would be or anything, he already loved Konnor more than anything in his entire life, save for Ross. And yet, the words still left a sour taste in Nora’s mouth, as if she somehow knew that even if that were true, and even if Artie did love Konnor more than life, he still had left without a word and would likely not return. He hadn’t left contact information, a location or an address he was headed to, nothing.

“So will he ever come back?” Nora wasn’t sure how to answer.

“I don’t know Konnor. I really don’t know,” the disappointment in his eyes was clear. “But hey, let’s not worry about that right now. It’s pretty late, and you should get to bed little guy, alright?” she raised her eyebrows and he nodded. She ran to her car- It still felt weird owning a car now rather than a van- And grabbed two small duffel bags from the trunk, one with se of Konnor’s clothes inside and one with some of her own.

He was dressed in Batman pajama’s and ready for bed in five minutes, and Nora left him in the living room with a cartoon playing as she lifted Nicole and carried her down the hall to her own bedroom. Because over half the rooms in the apartment were mostly connected by a long hallway behind the living room, she found the room at the end of the hall by process of elimination.

Slipping her sister’s long-sleeved shirt off of her body, she rummaged through Nicole’s drawers until she found a worn down t-shirt that she carefully maneuvered the officer’s frame into. She decided that the leggings her sister was wearing were good enough for the night and she moved Nicole into a lying position, covering her with a few blankets. The red head had yet to move on her own, but after a moment or two her eyes did slip closed and her breathing began to even out. Nora let out a sigh of relief that she’d at least managed to get the younger woman to rest.

Seemingly out of nowhere, an orange tabby kitten jumped up on the bed and curled up by Nicole’s arms, and not long after a white puppy followed suite. They made no effort to nudge or disturb their owner, only laid patiently by her side and made themselves comfortable without being disruptive. Only when Nora was positive that the ginger was asleep did she slip out of the room and close the door, making her way into the living room with Konnor.

She changed her own clothes into sweatpants and one of Ross’ old shirts, then allowed Konnor to snuggle into her chest as she collapsed onto the couch. Her eyelids were suddenly heavier than before and it became a struggle to keep herself alert enough that she could attend to Konnor if he needed her. The sound of whatever cartoon TV show he was engaged in was distracting enough to give her something to focus on other than her exhaustion, and luckily for her, it wasn’t long before the sound of even breathing and light snoring hit her ears.

Glancing down to ensure Konnor was indeed asleep, she grabbed a blanket from beside the couch to cover the pair, and flipped the TV off with the remote next to her. The dim lamp beside her remained the only light source in the room, and she let out a hefty sigh. Her eyes searched desperately in the dull illumination for something- Anything to focus on other than the thoughts swarming madly in her head. At some point, she half-heartedly settled for the rhythmic ticking of the clock, her eyes following the second hand in repetitive circles as the minutes- And soon the hours- Slipped by.

Despite how desperately she pleaded with herself to just close her eyes and fade away, letting her guard down to allow herself to rest wasn’t an easy task. But eventually, at some ungodly hour of what could have been morning or night, she did succumb to the lull of sleep. And, although up until she lost consciousness her eyes never left the clock, she had no idea what time it was when her exhaustion finally won the battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you guys think? Are you excited for next chapter? Anxious? Eager? Terrified? You should be, to all of those things!
> 
> And mostly, be READY for the next chapter, because a shit ton of stuff is going to be happening. There’s going to be a lot of backstory, a lot of heartbreaking confessions, and definitely a multitude of angst!! Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I really did enjoy writing it!! It’s one of my favorites, and I think one of my best if I can say so myself, so please let me know what you think!!


	18. Oh, I’ll Take The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora’s worry for Nicole leads her to the Earp homestead, where she meets Waverly and Wynonna and spends an afternoon explaining some of Nicole’s background before Purgatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!!! First and foremost- Trigger warnings!!!! Lots more mentions of catatonia, suicide, depression/anxiety, panic attacks, and self harm in this chapter guys, so be cautious and be aware!!! There are also mentions of verbal and physical/domestic abuse in this chapter as well, which if I’m not mistaken have yet to be addressed in the story. As always, read with caution and make the right decision for you about whether or not you feel comfortable reading! Please read with care.
> 
> Hey guys!!! I’m super excited to be posting this chapter, it’s definitely a good one! There’s a lot of information here, not only about Nicole’s past but also about Nora, Ross and Artie, and Konnor as well. As mentioned above, yes there are plenty of mentions about depression and suicide, and this chapter is really going to open up a lot of doors into Nicole’s world before Purgatory, and give a lot of explanations as to Nora and Ross’ past, Konnor’s birth and life, and why Nora has now suddenly shown up in Purgatory. They definitely all have a lot of issues from their past and their childhood, and while Waverly and Wynonna certainly had it rough growing up Nicole’s life hasn’t always been a walk in the park either. But of course, it’s not easy for a Nicole to admit that, both out of shame and because she feels that the Earps have had it worse, so she doesn’t think she deserves to feel sorry for herself about her past. Either way, lots of intense emotional scenes in this chapter, along with some sister bonding and some long-overdue reunions. I really didn’t plan on this chapter being so long but I think it’s a pretty good one and I hope you’ll all appreciate the length. Seriously, this chapter is CRAZY long. Hope you guys enjoy! As always, reviews, comments and constructive criticism always welcome :)
> 
> Trigger warnings!!! Just putting this here again in case you guys didn’t read all the notes! Lots of trigger warnings here guys, please read above for more information. Thank you!!

Still clothed in her surprisingly comforting pajamas, and doing her best to force herself awake after a night of receiving less than two full hours of honest sleep, Nora was in the middle of making Konnor breakfast when the knock at the front door interrupted her.

Her nephew was sitting happily at the table- He’d always been an early riser, much like Ross- And Nicole was still fast asleep in her bedroom, so the blonde had fumbled through the kitchen until she found some pancake mixture on the bottom shelf of the pantry. She was grateful that her younger sister had even been able to sleep, and she wasn’t going to disturb it.

It was odd, the domesticity of making breakfast in a real house- Or as close to a house as an apartment could get. It certainly felt like one, felt more like home than her real house growing up ever had. She knew that there were plenty of things she and her sister needed to discuss, one of which was if she was willing to let herself and Konnor stay. She knew better than anybody that the five year old needed a stable environment to grow up in, not jumping from city to city and learning to read through iPad apps and library computers.

She knew Ross and Artie hadn’t intended to stay on the road as long as they had after his birth. In fact, they’d originally planned on ending their music professions in no later than a year. But, a year had turned to two, and that had turned to four, and even though they’d sworn that they’d get him into kindergarten and a stable home when he was still five, Nora was unsure of how long they’d really have waited before Konnor got to be a normal kid if things had continued as they were. Sure, he had plenty of incredible experiences in traveling and watching his family perform for years, but everyone seemed to forget too often that he was just a kid who needed an education and a proper environment to grow up in.

At the sound of the knock her ears perked up in curiosity, and Nora turned down the heat on the stove and before making her way towards the door. When she pulled it open, she came face to face with an older, gray-haired man standing in front of her, dressed in a dark blue police uniform. He seemed just as surprised to see her.

“Um... Hi, is uh... Is Nicole here?” the older officer asked after a few moments, clearing his throat awkwardly. Nora hesitated with her answer, trying to decide if she trusted the man in front of her.

“Yeah, she’s here, why?” she finally asked, noticing the concern in the man’s eyes.

“I’m Randy Nedley, sheriff of police. I’m her boss. She didn’t show up this morning for her shift and she didn’t call like she usually does if something is wrong, so I decided to come up and check on her,” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck. Nora’s muscles relaxed and her eyes softened, and a surge of pride welled up in her chest at the realization that the man she was talking to was the sheriff, and Nicole’s boss, which meant that she too was now an officer.

_You’re a cop now. You did it Nicky, you actually did it._

Her lips curled into a small, proud smile at the thought, at the knowledge that against all the odds, despite the doubt from their parents, and even though she did it entirely alone because she’d never been handed anything in her life, her baby sister had actually accomplished her biggest wish, had really managed to find work in a career she’d been dreaming of since childhood. However, when Nora realized she had her to answer the man in the doorway and that an awkward length of silence had passed, she snapped back into reality and fumbled over her thoughts to come up with an answer.

“Oh, uh... Wow, I just... Wow, I’m sorry, geez. I guess I didn’t really think about her job,” it was more of a thought that just happened to be spoken aloud, but the blonde musician couldn’t take it back now and she was too concerned with the rest of her buzzing thoughts to care. Awkwardly, she stuck out her hand towards the officer. “Nora. Nora Haught. I’m uh... I’m Nicole’s sister,” she introduced herself, and waited until the sheriff shook it back before continuing.

“I’m really sorry she didn’t call you, and I’m sure she would’ve if she could, but she’s... Well, Nicole is...” she paused, unsure how to explain her current situation without spewing out a lengthy, confusing backstory to accommodate. She sighed and shook her head, running a hand through her short blonde locks and deciding that the best approach she could take was ripping the bandaid clean off.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t really think about all of this when I got here. Our brother Ross, he died a few weeks back, but she just found out last night. And Nicole... We haven’t really talked to her in years, but that’s not because we didn't care about her we just had to leave and we didn’t have a way to contact her, but we always planned on finding her again I promise!” by now, Nora wasn’t really sure what she was saying, and her words were more a jumbled mess of rambling than anything else. She heard herself begin to speed up and felt her chest tightening as she continued, and soon she was no longer in control of her words. All her thoughts were spilling out of her faster than she could keep up with them, and she had no way to stop it. Her voice began to quiver as she ranted on.

“I didn’t mean to just show up like this, I swear! B-But I... I didn’t know where else to go, and I just needed to see her! She needed to know! I couldn’t just keep it from her and pretend it didn’t happen so... S-So I came here and now...” Nora swallowed hard, and her words started cracking as a blur of guilt and fear and panic rose up in her throat like bile. “N-Now her catatonia is affecting her again, like- like when she was little, and I-I-I... I can’t talk to her, not until she’s out of it, and she’s not going to be able to say anything for at least a day! And I don’t... I don’t...” Nora’s rambling eventually faded off and she collapsed down onto the armchair, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks as she buried her face in shaking hands. Nedley, for his part, was beyond confused, and unsure of how to handle any of what he’d just learned. After spending another moment awkwardly standing in the doorway, he stepped inside the apartment and reached out a hesitant hand, placing it on the blonde woman’s shoulder in an attempt to offer up some measure of comfort.

It wasn’t much, but his steady touch was enough to give Nora an opportunity to collect herself. Her rapid gasps for breath began to slow and her tears started to subdue, the tight pull in her chest slowly easing down to nothing more than a dull, fading ache. After a minute or so of silence, the stove alarm signaling that the burner was hot enough startled her out of her state of mind. She inhaled a shaking breath, closing her eyes for a few moments to pace her breath. Wiping the dried salt streaks from her cheeks furiously with the backs of her hands, she then stood and looked down at Nedley, glancing back into the kitchen at Konnor once before looking back at the officer in front of her.

“Uh, Sheriff... Do you wanna stay for breakfast?”

* * *

Nedley wouldn’t normally accept an offer for something unnecessary if it meant it would cost him work time, especially something as trivial as breakfast (Chrissy had been trying to get him to eat at least something small before work for years and he had yet to listen), but Nora had as much charm as her red haired younger sister, not to mention that not two minutes after he had knocked on the door she had melted into a mess of tears and rambled thoughts. And because of that, within ten minutes of his arrival he was sitting at a dining room table with the sister he didn’t know his best employee had, and a small red haired child who he could conclude was her nephew after he’d called her “Aunt Nora.”

The older man had managed to slip in a phone call to Lonnie, informing him that he was to look over the office until the superior officer’s arrival, whenever that may be. As he’d expected, he’d been bombarded with questions (Lonnie had always been the inquisitive type) but he’d simply responded with a brief order to not question his instructions before hanging up and turning his phone the entire way off.

Communication between Nora and the sheriff- Other than small talk or engaging in conversation with Konnor if he spoke to one of them- Only occurred in short glances of eye contact sharing their unspoken concern across the kitchen table during breakfast while Konnor, blissfully unaware of their worry, worked on a stack of pancakes likely too big with way beyond a proper amount of syrup for someone of his stature. Though it was unhealthy and she knew she needed to work on his eating habits at some point, Nora didn’t have the heart to tell him that he had more than enough, even when it began to pool around the edges of his plate.

It struck the blonde musician that he was unaware just how unfortunate of a ride he’d been on, even if it wasn’t obvious. Sure, he had lived his whole life with parents and an aunt who loved him more than life, who if given the chance would give up every last thing they owned just for him, but he had been living in a world of show business and performances, of hopping from city to city, hotel room to hotel room, unknown place to unknown place. He’d spent far too many mornings eating hotel-provided continental breakfast’s of cereal, waffles, and burnt eggs at the crack of dawn, wasted too many nights scarfing down Chinese takeout, all-night diner buffets, and drive-through chicken nuggets after performances that had run into hours that were officially considered morning.

Truly, Konnor had never been able to just be a normal kid. He never had the opportunity to sleep in late on Saturdays, or wake up on Christmas morning and run down a flight of stairs to a tree towering over him, completely surrounded by presents. He’d never got to lay out on a couch and watch cartoons with his parents. He never got to sleep in a bed he could call his own other than on a few occasions where he used the fold out Artie had installed in their van.

And so, as he sat in his chair humming a mindless tune to himself, his legs swinging beneath him because they were too short to reach the ground and his ginger mess of hair poking out in gravity-defying angles, Nora not only found a deep seed of guilt gnawing at her consciousness in the pit of her chest, but also a slight hint of anger- Both with herself, with Artie, and with Ross.

She knew they hadn’t been trying to put Konnor into a bad situation when they’d decided on having a child together. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Same-sex marriage wasn’t yet legal in America at the time they’d decided to parent a child together, and even if it had been Nora wasn’t sure they’d have consummated their relationship as an official marriage right away anyways. Ross had never been one to care about documentation and paperwork to prove his love, and it wasn’t something they felt was required for them to remain in a domestic partnership. What they did both long for, however, was a family. It was about the only thing they dreamed of more than a music career.

Still, Nora couldn’t deny that somewhere in the deepest corners of her mind, maybe even more visible than she wanted to admit to herself, that she wished they would have waited before making that decision. Sure, finding a willing and trustworthy surrogate in a local diner hidden away in the remote town of Saugatuck, Michigan, had been quite the stroke of luck. In fact, the blonde musician was still shocked that they’d managed to find someone so easily, or that the conversation had even come up the night they’d met. Mary Williams had been her name. She was the owner of the diner, at least 34 years old. She’d agreed to let them perform the moment they asked, and was heavily pregnant at the time, at least 8 months and if not more. Once the show had ended and she’d paid them, even though they’d done their best to insist they didn’t need payment, she had offered them dinner on the house and spent the evening talking with them.

Nora wasn’t entirely sure how it had even come up, though she was pretty sure it had something to do with Ross commenting on her pregnancy and wanting to start a family of his own. Mary had explained that the baby wasn’t really hers, rather a good friend from college and her husband who had recently discovered they couldn’t have kids of their own after she was diagnosed with infertility. From there, they’d gotten to talking about surrogacy and the process it required, and Nora didn’t remember whether Ross had asked or Mary had offered, but either way by the end of the night she had agreed to be a surrogate for a child with him and Artie.

Nora had thought at the time it was all just talk, that they were all just a little bit high on adrenaline after their performance and slightly tipsy from their drinks, but she soon realized they were serious when Ross turned up the day they’d planned to leave Saugatuck with a one year lease for a small apartment and a packet of information he’d printed from multiple websites at the local library on surrogacy. Before she even knew what was happening, Mary had given birth to a healthy baby girl, and within a few weeks was ready to start the in vitro process for Ross and Artie’s baby. Even as the months ticked on, and the bump in Mary’s stomach grew more and more due to the the fetus inside her, Nora still had a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that her brother was actually going through with his plan, that he and Artie were actually parents-to-be. That she was an _aunt_ -to-be.

And then on December 12th of 2013, at some remote hour of the morning while it was still dark and the sky was still dotted with stars, the sound of painful cries and worried ramblings and meaningless yells shouted only out of frustration and pain, all the sound in a tiny hospital room was replaced with the ear-splitting cry of a 5 lb 7 oz baby boy, with tufts of ginger hair already formed on the tops of his head and piercing blue eyes that bore a perfect resemblance to Ross.

He and Artie had originally planned on not finding out the biological connection they had to their son, not wanting it to influence them or him in any way. Not that they ever thought it would, but they also simply didn’t care whose DNA it was that made it possible to have a child, because that was the only thing that mattered. _They had a child_. A healthy, perfect, lovable son, whose heart had quickly grown as big as those of the people who raised him.

Who was innocent and sweet and undoubtably had inherited the wit of his father. Who had never been given a proper start to life; lovable as he was had been a hastily planned choice with no given afterthought. Who was too young to understand that he was now going to have to grow up without real parents, would have to rely on Nora to raise him and possibly his aunt, should Nicole allow them to stay.

By the time breakfast had ended, nearly half an hour had passed, and Nora’s mind returned to present reality when she heard the sheriff across the table from her grunt out what she could only roughly piece together well enough to know he had thanked her for the meal. She glanced over at Konnor, who was shoving the last few bites of pancake into his mouth all at once.

“Konnor, sweetie?” she asked after a moment, glancing up at Nedley briefly before looking back down at her nephew. He turned to her with a grin, lips and chin dribbling with syrup, a few remaining crumbs of pancake stuck to the corners of his mouth. She couldn’t help but let out a small giggle, and she reached across the table with a paper towel dipped in her glass of water to wipe away the sticky residue on his face as best as she could. “How about you go wash your face a bit more and brush your teeth okay? Do you remember where the bathroom is?” Konnor nodded quickly and set his plate in the sink before making his way down the hallway towards the bathroom. It was only when she heard the running of the sink that Nora turned to Nedley.

“Um... I know you probably have a lot of questions, and I’m more than happy to answer them, just... Not right now,” she explained with a slight frown. He nodded briefly, his eyes glistening with a surprising amount of understanding.

“Nicole can come back to work whenever she’s ready. Uh... Tell her I’m sorry, okay?” he asked, his voice less gruff than it had been previously. The blonde nodded, and watched as the older man turned to leave while slipping his coat on. It was only then that she remembered the visitor from the previous night, and she thought to ask if the officer possibly knew of her. Maybe it wasn’t her business, and maybe part of her reasoning wasn’t just thinking of people who could possibly help Nicole if her catatonia worsened, but also her curiosity as to who the young brunette was and her relationship to her younger sister.

Purgatory, from what she’d seen driving in, hadn’t seemed like a large town- It looked small enough that she could walk from one end to the other and not tire- So it was likely that most of it’s residents were familiar with one another. She decided to chance it before it was too late.

“Hey sheriff?” he paused and turned back towards her, his eyebrows raised inquisitively and his gaze curious. “I don’t mean to pry or anything, and I know you have to get going, but before you do... Is there anything you can tell me about a woman named Waverly?”

* * *

Lucky for Nora, the name “Waverly” wasn’t an extremely common one, and Nedley had immediately understood who she was talking about when she had asked for information on the brunette. She understood that the sheriff was a man who took his job seriously, and therefore by default also understood his immediate concern at her curiosity and his hesitance to give out any information. But, that didn’t quell her slight annoyance with his suspicion, but that was mostly because she was anxious to discover who the woman was that seemed to be so involved with her sister.

It wasn’t much, but she’d managed to get out of him that her full name was Waverly Earp, she had an older sister named Wynonna, they owned and worked at the only local bar in town called Shorty’s, and that both the Earp sisters had a deep- But very different and unique- Connection to Nicole. Nora had pressed him for more, her list of questions about the sisters growing with every new piece of information, but he was as stubborn to reveal answers as she was to discover them.

“I’m sorry to meet you under these circumstances, but it’s been a pleasure Nora. Thank you for breakfast. I’m glad Nicole has someone like you looking out for her. Trust me, if I could I’d tell you something more about the Earp girls I’d gladly oblige, but it’s not my place. Anything else you wanna find out, you have to ask them yourself,” he sighed, and Nora’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Well... Can you at least tell me where to find them?” she asked, her eyes desperate and glistening with fast-draining hope. Nedley stood firm for another solid moment, then let his head fall in defeat and let out a gruff sigh.

“You’re just as stubborn as your sister,” Nora was unsure as to whether or not the sheriff had meant to let that opinion slip or if he was just unknowingly letting his thoughts out aloud, but regardless he shook his head in bewilderment, as if he couldn’t believe he was really about to say anything else. He reached into his front shirt pocket to pull out a small rectangle notepad with a Purgatory Sheriff’s Department logo printed neatly at the top, scribbling down an address in black pen, then a phone number beneath after a moment of consideration. He ripped the yellow-lined sheet of paper out of the notepad and handed it to her with an expression that was impossible to read.

“Here. If you can’t find them at Shorty’s, this is where they live. Call, if you’re not sure you want to meet them face to face. But, if you DO decide to go there... Well, Wynonna isn’t exactly known for her _hospitality_ ,” Nedley chuckled to himself, as if even his warning didn’t do what he was trying to get across justice. He paused, just for a moment, his sharp eyes locking onto hers and holding her vision. For that one brief moment, they shared an unspoken exchange of understanding, both seemingly aware that they each held a special place in their hearts for the red haired officer still asleep in her bedroom down the hall.

“Uh, Nora... Tell Nicole...” he began, but eventually he trailed off into a low, unintelligible mumble, because there were too many things he needed to list, too many words he needed to explain everything he truly needed to tell the young woman who had quickly become like a second daughter to him.

“Yeah,” Nora didn’t need him to clarify, because somehow as she gazed into his blue irises she _knew._

She knew what he was feeling, knew what he was thinking about, knew what his heart was going through, because she was dealing with the same thing. With a final nod of acknowledgement, Nedley zipped his coat up over his chest and turned, treading across the driveway to his cruiser. Nora stood in the doorway watching him long after he’d departed from her sight, and it was Konnor’s small hand tugging on her shirt that tore her from her trans-like-state.

“Aunt Nora? Are we gonna wake up Auntie N’cole?” he asked, gazing up at her curiously. His eyes were so soft and glistening of genuine concern, so full of love for someone he’d never even met before the previous night, who he still somehow seemed to understand would come to love him just as Nora did, just as his parents had. She glanced down at the paper in her hand then knelt down beside her nephew, tucking a strand of ginger hair behind his ear.

“No sweetie, we’re gonna let her sleep for now. I actually need you to get dressed and ready soon. We have somewhere we need to go.” Konnor was already running over to his bag by the couch and rummaging through his array of clothing by the time the words were out of her mouth. She helped him to pick out an outfit- A simple, dark red sweater and a pair of lighter blue jeans, with white tennis shoes to match. She combed out his messy locks of hair and used just a small dab of hair gel to smooth it over and style it so it neatly laid against his head.

Once he was dressed and prepared, and was sitting on the couch with his full attention directed towards a cartoon, Nora shuffled into the bathroom to change into her own selection of clothes, consisting of black jeans, a black spaghetti-strap tank-top covered by an unbuttoned grey and black flannel. She applied a slight bit of makeup to conceal the bags under her eyes as best she could, and to give her face just a splash of color back in her cheeks, then stood motionless in front of the bathroom mirror to take in her appearance.

It was slightly a subconscious action, but after a moment she suddenly realized her hand was in her hair, letting the recently cut blonde locks thread through her fingers. It was the day after Ross had died that she’d gotten it cut, unable to stand looking at herself in the mirror with her long strands of lightly colored hair reaching down the length of her back. It was just a reminder of him, though at the time everything was, and she was unsure as to why something as simple as hair length stung at her chest the way it did. It felt wrong then, something that for so long had offered nothing but the feeling of freedom and control over fate suddenly weighted and heavy, dragging her down with every step she took.

She was disgusted with it, immediately sick to her stomach even at the mere sight of the strands, and she’d impulsively walked into a beauty parlor without hesitation not 12 hours after the accident, instructing the beautician to cut it all off, every last strand. But in those last few moments, when one side of her head was shaved down to just a few inches long and the other rested just below the tips of her earlobe, Nora had looked at herself in the mirror and stared. She’d stopped the haircut after that, saying that she was satisfied with what she had.

After a few finishing touches were made in order to give it a finished look, she’d walked out of the shop feeling as if her body were lighter, but with a heart that sagged in her chest like an old stone somewhere on some remote island mountain, covered in moss and debris and dirt, left to sit in absolute peace, undisturbed for hundreds of thousands of years.

Artie had still been there then. He had still been with Konnor in their hotel room, waiting for her to return, his green eyes that had once been so vibrant and full of life now dull, drained, devoid of any sign that they had ever known love. Nora was sure that her own gaze had been the same. And late into that night, long after Artie had collapsed of exhaustion and Konnor had slipped into unconsciousness curled up against his chest, she had sat on the edge of the bed staring into the mirror across the room, barely able to see more than her silhouetted frame against the wall in the dark.

She’d held her hands on her head then too, her fingers trailing down over her hair and further on, as if they still expected to be able to run through long waves of blonde. It was as if her fingers remained unaware, unconnected to the rest of her body telling herself that it was gone. If she tried hard enough, she could almost recreate the memory of what it felt like to comb through her hair for so many years, the phantom memory of it’s touch still engrained in her mind. She’d cried then, silent and shaking, clutching a pillow to her chest and biting down so hard on her lip that it bled.

However, strange as it was, Nora’s tears were not because of her new hairstyle thats closest comparison was a slightly-longer-than-average pixie cut, and not because of the death of her brother. She had assumed that was why in the beginning, but it felt like that wasn’t the right explanation for her sudden wave of sorrow. But there was no denying it’s presence, and she immediately felt like if she didn’t stand up she’d never again have the strength to do so.

She was unsure for the following two weeks as to why she’d had such a reaction, why she’d felt such guilt and disgust in herself, until that moment standing in front of Nicole’s bathroom mirror, hand in her hair and tongue caught tightly between her teeth. It was only in very instant that she realized it. She had known after Ross died that she needed to see her sister again. It was one of the first things that had crossed her mind after finding out.

She’d ignored it, for the time, and shoved the thought deep into a dark crevice at the back of her mind, but it had crawled its way back out onto the surface and made itself not only known, but overwhelmingly heavy in her head. And thinking back on that moment, Nora realized that her reaction was because she suddenly wasn’t the person that she had been, never would be again, and in all the time that she, Ross, Artie and Konnor had spent out on the road, all the years they’d played in various locations growing together as a family, their younger sister had never been a part of it. And now, because she was suddenly someone else, Nicole would never really get the chance to know who she had become over those ten years though all her changes and experience.

She would never know her or their brother past when they left with the band at just 18 years old. She had never gotten to see their music skills develop even beyond what they already were. She had never gotten the chance to watch them play together after they left. She had never gotten the chance to see Ross and Artie raise Konnor together, teaching him right from wrong, showing him the ways of the world. She had never gotten the chance to watch as they instilled in him beliefs of compassion and acceptance of others, how they taught him to display understanding and kindness in every situation possible.

She’d never gotten to see him play his own original song, the one he’d written two days after Konnor’s birth. The song was centered around someone with red hair, whose gender remained ambiguous throughout the entire song. It went on to tell the story of how even though they were born into a life where they had to struggle, and even though the odds were never in their favor, they remained strong and kind through the storms they had to face and still could succeed in a world where everyone said they couldn’t. She’d memorized it countless times long before Ross had died, and written down both the lyrics and all the instrumentation for the accompanying music in her journal a few days after the accident in case she ever managed to forget.

Even though he’d specified that the song referred to Konnor, Nora was more than well aware that he was also writing about Nicole. Her theory- Which was really more of a known fact rather than just a “theory”- Was confirmed when she received his song book among what had survived the crash.

There hadn’t been much else- A few stray pieces of sound equipment (Though they were ultimately useless afterwards because they’d been custom wired and programmed by Artie for La Muse, and she had no clue how to even use any of them, let alone reprogram them so they could work on a regular power system), her full length keyboard, Ross’ drumsticks, and the start of a photo album that Nora had begun working on a year ago, saying that she wanted to document Konnor’s growth and development with physical pictures to accompany the crowded photo apps full of baby pictures and precious captured moments on all three of their phones.

It wasn’t much, but it was more than she’d expected to survive a wrecked car that caught on fire, and aside from the sound equipment everything that made it out relatively unscathed- Or at least in once piece- Was now incredibly valuable and precious to Nora. Her keyboard had barely fit in the trunk of her car, but she’d managed to make it work eventually and it was now tucked away inside the space, covered by some old blankets and sweatshirts. Some of the keys were singed, blackened with soot and ash, but she hadn’t yet gotten around to cleaning them. She wasn’t really sure if she ever would.

Nora was ripped from her train of thought when she knocked her hairbrush off the corner of the sink and it clattered to the ground with a loud slap, the sound of the contact against the tiled floor scaring her to the point where she jumped backwards, her hand gripping the fabric covering her chest in an attempt to calm her wildly thrashing heartbeat. Slowly, her hands shaking and her motions almost mindless, she kneeled down to pick the brush up and set it in a more central position on the side of the bathroom sink. With a final glance back at her reflection, Nora flicked the lights off and quietly maneuvered her way down the hallway towards Nicole’s bedroom, cracking the door open ever so slightly.

The blinds were closed, and it was dreary and rainy outside, so there wasn’t enough light in the room to see clearly through the small window of space between the door and it’s frame. Pushing back the wooden door slowly, careful to keep it from squeaking against the hinges, she walked on the tips of her feet into the bedroom. Through the dim lighting, she could make out the silhouette of her sister, and the sound of soft, even breathing reassured her that Nicole was still sleeping soundly.

That was both a relief and a bit concerning, because as glad as she was that the ginger woman was actually letting herself sleep, she couldn’t help but worry over what would happen if Nicole woke while she and Konnor were talking with the Earp sisters. She supposed she had no real choice, and convinced herself that leaving the officer alone while she was awake was an even worse decision, because at least if she was asleep she wouldn’t suddenly snap out of her catatonic period and have a panic attack or start to self harm.

With that thought, Nora shuddered at the memory of walking into the room of a seven year old Nicole, tears streaming from her eyes, hazel irises wide and full of fear, her entire frame shaking violently as she gasped and wheezed for air. It had been the first of many panic attacks that the youngest Haught sibling would experience, and even though it had rendered her speechless and unable to move for an entire night, it was one of the least severe. Nora was sure that watching the abusive fights their parents would sometimes get into had a definite impact on her sister, along with the fact that she was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression anyway. Leaning down, the blonde pressed a kiss to her younger sister’s forehead, her lips lingering for just a moment.

“Love you Nicky, sleep well,” she whispered quietly into the darkness. Nora took the opportunity to adjust the blankets around the officer’s sleeping form, then paused for just a moment to observe her before leaving the darkness of the bedroom, gently closing the door behind her with her exit.

* * *

“It’s you!” Waverly hadn’t meant to sound so surprised or accusatory, but she didn’t conceal the fact that she was surprised to see the blonde woman from Nicole’s house the previous night standing in the doorway of the homestead, the small ginger boy also beside her, clutching one of her hands in one of his.

“Uh... Yeah, it’s me,” Nora shifted uncomfortably, finding it hard to hold the gaze of the brunette in front of her. It hit her then that she had absolutely no game plan, no method of attack, no pre-recited conversation or coordinated idea as to what on earth she would do or say when she arrived at the address Nedley had given her. She’d spend a good two minutes preparing herself, sitting in the driveway in her gray Volvo s90 Sedan. It still felt strange to drive and own an actual _car_. All she’d been driving for the past fifteen years had been La Muse, and a van from 2003 handled much differently than her brand new, modernized car that was almost small enough to fit inside her previous vehicle.

She’d expected Ross to have Artie listed as the beneficiary for the savings he had in the bank, and it had been beyond surprising when she saw both her and Nicole listed as the sole inheritors. She assumed that was because he and Artie weren’t married and therefore he couldn’t be listed because they weren’t officially documented as domestic partners. Whatever the reason, he had left behind a serious amount of money, even more than Nora had anticipated.

Ross had never been fond of math in high school, but Nora knew damn well that he was great at it, better than he ever let on and likely better than even she could guess. He could manage money extraordinarily well, and had been in charge of keeping track of any payments that they received for their performances over the years.

He always put some of their earnings into a savings account, and not a single cent had been withdrawn from the account since the day of it’s creation. With relatively regular additions and the high interest that had only been building with each new deposit, Ross had somehow managed to save over $60,000. $63,457.47, to be exact.

When Nora saw those numbers, and that she was to receive half of if, she wasn’t sure how to react. Not only that, but she and Nicole were also listed as the beneficiaries to Ross’ life insurance, amounting to $20,000 in total. Overall, both she and her sister were to inherit a roughly rounded estimate of about $42,000 each. Nora was sure that this wasn’t the reason Artie had left- She’d only learned of the money less than a week ago, and she had decided that she was going to use what she received in the most practical ways possible. Her first step had been buying a car, because before that unless they was traveling by Uber or taxi she and Konnor were basically stuck in Centennial, Wyoming, where Ross’ accident had occurred.

She was still unsure as to how Artie had left- Her best guess was he had called his own Uber or purchased a bus ticket. Either way, five days after her brother died, she’d woken up at the crack of dawn to find that he and all his possessions were gone without any evidence of their recent presence, as if they’d never existed in the first place.

“Uh... Can I help you?” Waverly’s curious but puzzled voice brought the blonde back to reality and she looked back down at the younger woman in front of her. “I mean, how did you even know to come here? Is everything okay? Did something happen? Oh god, is Nicole okay? Is she hurt?” Nora watched the small brunette’s eyes widen with fear as her mind undoubtedly churned with a multitude of possibilities as to why she was receiving company, each likely worse than the last. Wanting to quell her fear, the blonde musician interjected in order to clarify.

“No no! Uh, nothing happened, Nicole is okay. She’s at her apartment, still asleep,” Nora assured her quickly, shaking her head and placing a hand on Waverly’s shoulder. She watched the younger Earp’s irises slowly return to their normal size, but her muscles remained tense and the worry in her gaze didn’t fade.

“Okay... Good... That’s good... So then, why _are_ you here?” she asked, glancing down briefly to Konnor, who had released Nora’s hand in favor of clutching at the fabric of her flannel over-shirt.

“Well I-” before she got the chance to continue, Nora was cut off by a second, sneakier voice from somewhere inside the house that was out of her line of sight.

“Waves, whose at the door?” she watched as a taller, darker haired brunette appeared in the doorway, a carton of juice in one hand. She eyed the blonde curiously, her expression not dismissive but definitely not inviting either, rather an odd mixture somewhere between the two. Seeing the way Waverly’s lips turned into a confused frown as she pondered how to answer, Nora jumped in before she had a chance to answer.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to just show up uninvited, but I didn’t really know what else to do. I met Waverly last night, at Nicole’s apartment. I’m... I’m Nora. I’m Nicole’s sister.”

* * *

Even though Waverly had suspected that Nora’s relation to Nicole was that of siblings, she was still surprised at the revelation that the officer was not an only child, as she had previously thought. Or, maybe she hadn’t really considered it that much, but since the ginger woman had never previously mentioned a sister- She hadn’t generally talked much about her family life at all- Waverly hadn’t really had much to consider in the first place. She’d allowed Nora and the small boy accompanying her to step inside and offered them a seat on the couch, thinking that by the time she took her own seat across the room she would have some way to start a conversation, but as she settled into place her mind came up blank and any thoughts she might have been able to conjure up to break the silence were now long gone.

Wynonna stood next to her, her eyes never leaving the blonde stranger now sitting in her living room. It wasn’t entirely that she doubted Nora’s claim either- Her blonde hair and blue eyes definitely weren’t anything like Nicole’s ginger mane of fiery curls and her hazel eyes that leaned towards the darker spectrum of the color, but it was obvious by the way Nora’s eyes scattered over the room nervously, the way she chewed mindlessly on her lip, and the way that she absentmindedly fiddled her hands in her lap that she and the officer shared nervous habits. Besides, their facial features still bore resemblance to each other, even if their hair and eyes were different colors.

They both had the same bone structure in their cheeks, and identical slim bridges on their noses. Nora also had a similar jawline to Nicole, defined and somehow managing to appear both angled and pointed as well as soft and delicate. Even their eyes, though on opposite ends of the color spectrum, held the same familiar spark, something that Wynonna couldn’t quite identify as anything other than uniquely specific to the Haught siblings.

But, despite this, Nicole had never before mentioned a sibling, and like Waverly she too had previously assumed that her officer friend was an only child. If anyone knew about randomly showing up in someone’s life when there was nowhere else to go, it was her. She’d been there, and had been lucky enough that Waverly had welcomed her back. Granted, there had been some things they had to learn about each other, habits and interests and the general changes they had gone through over the years, not to mention the limits and boundaries they each had and respected, but she knew that she had been one of the lucky ones, and that not everyone was so willing to just let people back into their lives with little to no conditions involved.

It also slightly unnerved her that Nicole was not actually present with Nora, because she knew that if the officer wanted them to meet her family member that she would do it personally, not send them over to the homestead unattended and unprepared for what they might find.

The ginger boy beside Nora also raised the bartender’s suspicions, simply because he bore a significant resemblance to Nicole- At least as far as his hair went- And though it seemed slightly far-fetched that she was secretly a mother to some long-lost child that she possibly didn’t even know existed, Wynonna had learned at an early age not to ever rule out any possibilities until there was proof, and even then to keep them in consideration. It was Nora who finally managed to break the silence.

“So... There’s a lot I have to explain to you,” she began timidly, her voice careful in tone, as if she were treading in water where she couldn’t reach the bottom and she couldn’t see what was beneath her.

“I can imagine. But first off, where’s Nicole?” Wynonna let herself settle into the arm of the couch, kicking her legs up to rest on the cushions beside her, though her eyes remained on the blonde at all times. “Why are you here alone? And why did you come here? How did you even find this place?”

Nora opened her mouth to continue, but she caught herself a moment before and her gaze shifted to the ginger boy next to her. She hesitated, her nose scrunching up ever so slightly as if she was considering a serious decision.

“Konnor, bud, can you do me a huge favor?” she asked, and he looked up at the two women across the room before turning back to his aunt and nodding. “I need you to go wait on the front porch. You can go get your tablet if you want to,” she instructed him, praying that the desperation in her eyes would somehow portray itself in a way that the five year old would understand that what she was asking him to do was important.

It seemed to work, because he nodded without hesitation and got up, making his way out onto the front porch and taking a seat on the bench swing near the railing. He didn’t go to the car to retrieve his tablet, rather say swinging back and forth kicking his legs out underneath his body to keep the swing moving. After making sure he was settled and distracted, Nora turned her attention back to the two brunette women staring at her inquisitively.

“Okay. So... God, where do I even start?” she mumbled, shaking her head and running a hand through her hair. It was unclear if she knew she was speaking out loud, but if she was she made no move to cover her words. “There’s so much to say. I don’t even know if there’s a place I _can_ begin.”

“The beginning. Or... At least the beginning of whatever explains why you’re here,” Waverly answered, her concern lying solely in whatever part of Nora’s story involved Nicole.

“The beginning. Okay,” the musician steadied herself, inhaled sharply, then looked up at the two women as she started, realizing the only way to really explain everything was to start at the root of it all.

“Two and a half weeks ago, my twin brother Ross was killed in a car accident. We were in a band, have been since we were teenagers, and we’d just finished a performance a few hours before. Anyway... He went to the store to pick up some toothpaste and conditioner, and he was supposed to be back in fifteen minutes. He was just driving back to our hotel room, just a few minutes away, and when he got to a traffic light his light was green. So... So he went. He went and...” Nora paused, swallowing to gain her composure before she continued. Her gaze had now shifted to a spot on the carpeted floor by her feet.

“He went, and there was a truck, on his right side. The driver was absolutely drunk off his rocker, couldn’t even speak in complete sentences. The cops said he’d been arrested twice before for DUI’s, and was so wasted that they don’t know how he remembered how to start his truck. He shouldn’t have even been out on the roads. He was on house arrest. He shouldn’t have even gotten the chance to get anywhere near the road,” at this point, Nora had given up her attempt to keep her tears at bay. It was the first time she had actually heard the entire story out loud, and hearing it from her own mouth only seemed to make it worse.

“H-His... His light was red. It was red, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t... Didn’t even slow down. Just kept driving, didn’t even think about stopping... Probably couldn’t think about anything at the time,” she spat the words, her lips twisted up into a disgusted scowl and her voice layered with a sneer, almost an honest _snarl_. By now, she had forgotten that she was talking to anyone else, forgotten that anyone else was even in the room with her. Now, all of the pent up anger that she’d been bottling away in her chest was finally spilling out over.

Anger at the drunk who’d killed her brother, anger at Ross for not waiting, anger at Artie for leaving. Anger at her parents for never giving two shits about their kid’s thoughts or feelings, but still trying to control everything they did. Anger at all the people who’d bullied Nicole throughout her middle school years about her sexuality, who had added to her depression and anxiety, had driven her insecurity to self harm and her panic attacks to catatonic states that sometimes lasted for days at a time.

Anger at herself for not being able to save Ross, for not being able to keep Artie around, for never being able to truly be Konnor’s parent, for not finding a way to contact Nicole sooner, for not being able to even get a grip on her own mental state and still trying to act like she wasn’t falling apart at the destruction of the only world she’d ever really known as it crumbled and burned to the ground in every direction she looked.

“He wasn’t supposed to be out there. He was supposed to be stuck in whatever broken down cardboard box he called his house, locked up with some poor excuse for friends or a family, and watching shitty reruns of some tv show from the 90’s on some TV older than he is. He wasn’t supposed to be out on the road, drunk to the point where he was more alcohol than man, driving a 20 year old piece of rust that he somehow got to run, driving through a fucking red light at 2:00 in the morning and killing my brother! It wasn’t supposed to happen like that!” by the time Nora had finished, her entire frame was shivering rigorously and her tears were staining with sticky residue from the salt of her tears.

Some sort of involuntary, broken-hearted noise choked out from inside her throat, and it no longer felt as if she could feel anything she touched. Whatever she was in contact with might as well have been air, might as well have not even existed at all. It wasn’t fair. Ross wasn’t supposed to die, and she wasn’t supposed to be falling apart. Artie wasn’t supposed to leave his son and leave Nora as his sole guardian, robbing a five year old boy of not just one but _both_ of his parents in less than a week’s time. Konnor wasn’t supposed to still somehow stay strong through the entire endeavors, somehow seeming to understand not only what had happened but that it could happen to anybody, that nothing in life was guaranteed, not even another day, another hour, another minute.

And Nora wasn’t supposed to break down. She wasn’t supposed to be the one who fell apart in the face of chaos. She was supposed to laugh and rise above, and be the one who everybody else could depend on, could come to when they were losing their grip so she could help them get it back. She was supposed to be the one who was strong for Konnor, and yet throughout the past few weeks it seemed as though he was the one offering peace and comfort for her. She was supposed to be there for Nicole, to provide her with something constant so she could hold on, give her something to cling to and pull herself back to reality. She was supposed to be the one who didn’t- Who _couldn’t_ let herself whither as she stood headstrong in the face of the storm.

And yet, she was currently collapsing into a mess of tears and choked back screams on the couch of complete strangers, her innocent, parentless nephew swinging on a porch swing just on the opposite side of the wall beside her; her devastated, unresponsive younger sister alone in her apartment, possibly asleep and possibly not, her emotions dragging her further and further away from her life, bringing her ever closer to shutting off the world around her entirely. She needed to be okay, but no- Here she was, her reality fading away and her walls slowly falling apart, exposing herself as anything but strong, as nothing more than the weakest one of all.

The reassuring touch of a delicately place hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see a concerned face staring back at her, Waverly’s greenish-hazel eyes soft and sympathetic as they looked down at her. On her other side Wynonna sat propped up with one knee, her expression a bit more stone-faced but still gentle. Her hand was on Nora’s opposite shoulder, and her touch was different from her sister. It wasn’t as gentle and it was anything but delicate, but rather it was much more firm. It was steadfast. It was unwavering, protective, and offered comfort in a different kind of way that made Nora feel safe. In the kind of way that she felt so obligated to offer towards the people she loved most.

Neither Waverly nor Wynonna said a single word, but they stayed by her side as the bottle she’d been keeping everything in finally tipped over, finally spilled out its contents onto the pavement, finally knocked down the defenses she’d built around her heart and struck her chest with a jolt of all the feeling she’d been holding back- Not just from Ross’ death, but over the course of years and years spent doing everything in her power to always present herself as a rock, unable to be knocked down by any force that nature could throw at her. Aand as she sat dissolving on the couch of the Earp homestead, she cried like she never had before- And it felt _good_.

Hell, it felt _wonderful_ , finally letting herself break, and cry, and _feel_ , letting the waves of emotion that had spent years lapping at the shore of her heart finally hit full force, allowing herself to no longer pretend to be a rock. No, now she was anything _but_ a rock. Now, she was the sand, loose in support and easily maneuvered into anything that could be imagined, appearing as if she offered firm support but underneath the surface was really just soft, was everything it tried not to be. At any moment, with something even light and fragile as the wind, she could crumble into nothing more than a pile of unstable grains of sand. But, even if she collapsed, she felt oddly safe knowing that these two people who she hardly knew were all of a sudden there to build her back up, simply because they cared so much for Nicole that, by default, they cared for her too.

* * *

“So has she always... You know... I mean- Well, has this happened before?” Wynonna was unsure how to ask the question. She’d never had any experience with catatonia, hadn’t even known it existed until Nora’s explanation of what was currently happening with her sister.

“Not since she was around 13. Not that I know of anyway. But it used to happen all the time. Our parents fought a lot, and sometimes it got physical. Not often, but often enough. And Nicole was still really young the first time she saw it happen. She had a full blown panic attack, and then afterwards she couldn’t speak for a day,” Nora paused to take a few sips of the glass of water beside her, grateful that they had given it to her even though she had refused wanting anything to drink or eat. Wynonna had mumbled something about her and Nicole always trying to be the hero, then had handed her the glass a few moments later with a look on her face that clearly said she wouldn’t be taking no for an answer.

“Was it always catatonia?” Waverly’s voice was laced with concern and heartbreak, and the blonde musician was becoming more and more confident in her belief that whatever it was that Nicole and the younger Earp sister had, it was something beyond friendship. Maybe not romance, maybe not yet, but the potential and the desire was there. Nora had seen that kind of adoration and dedication only once in her life, with Ross and Artie’s relationship. Their bond had been immediate, powerful, and almost instantaneously inseparable. Well, _almost_ inseparable, anyway. Death certainly put the claim of inseperable to the test.

“No. It started out as panic attacks, and she would lose all cognizance of reality. They usually only happened if our parents fought or if someone said something about her at school, but when she was 12, they became much more frequent. Almost daily, with no real explanation as to why. She was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression by her therapist, but our parents never really did anything to help. Ross and I started picking up her prescriptions for medications that would help ease her nerves, because our parents stopped doing it. For awhile we thought it was under control, but then one day she told everybody in our family that she wanted to be a police officer. Before she could even say anything else they were already bombarding her with reasons why she shouldn’t or couldn’t do it, and just making her doubt everything about herself,” Nora paused, shaking her head in frustration at the memory. Even after years had passed, anger still bubbled in her chest at the insults her parents had thrown at Nicole, forever engrained in her memory- And she was sure in her sister’s as well.

“Later that night, she told me she couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t like it was before. It was... Just off. She wasn’t gasping for breath and wheezing like she normally did, she was just sitting there, staring at a wall like she was staring through it. I kept trying to ask her what was wrong, but she wouldn’t answer. She just said she couldn’t breathe again, and then those were the last words she said to me for three days. After that, she didn’t get panic attacks anymore, not like she used to. Instead, she would just sit in silence, like she was in shock, and she wouldn’t eat or talk or move. Sometimes she would sleep, but not always, and sometimes they lasted for a week. Once, it was twelve days,” Waverly audibly gagged back a sob at that, and she bit down hard on her lip like she was trying to fight the tears that were already starting to pool at the corners of her eyes.

“Sometimes after she would snap out of it she would go back into it, or she would go into a panic attack. She was always so scared when it ended, and she would just lay with me and Ross and beg us to stop it from happening to her again. We just felt so... So powerless against it. We just had to sit and watch someone we loved suffer at the hands of her own mind, and we couldn’t do anything more to help. It was-”

“Torture. It hurt you just as badly as it hurt her. You felt like you were useless, like you should have been able to do something to stop it. You felt like there should have been some way to just make it stop, just make all the pain go away and never bother her again, even if that meant that you had to bear it for yourself. You’d rather it have been you than her any day,” Nora was cut off by Wynonna’s interruption, but she didn’t mind or say anything to disagree because the bartender couldn’t have been more correct in her explanation.

The blonde musician nodded in agreement, and from the way the darker haired brunette looked down at her sister it was obvious to Nora that Waverly had gone through some of her own struggles that her older sister was powerless against.

“And when it wasn’t catatonia... Then it was razors. She would run water in the bathtub and cut her legs with blades from wherever she could find them. Shaving razors, kitchen utensils, even handheld pencil sharpeners. She would sit and carve insults about herself into her thighs and lock herself inside for hours. Ross and I... We always did our best to help her, cleaned the wounds and kept it secret from our parents, but it just seemed like there was no way to help. We didn’t stop trying though, because no one else was and she needed us,” Nora’s head hung in guilt and she closed her eyes while she inhaled for a few moments, collecting her train of thought before going on.

She couldn’t help but notice the way Waverly’s hand was now ringing over her wrist, poorly concealing a multitude of scars on her own wrist, some faded over years of healing into nothing more than a thin white line, others still pink and much more recent, clearly visible to even the unobservant eye. Wynonna seemed to notice too, and she placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder in reassurance. They shared a look of an unspoken language, and Nora waited until it seemed that the moment had passed. When the Earp sisters were seemingly back in the real world she continued.

“When she started ninth grade, it seemed like she was better. She wasn’t cutting, and the panic attacks hadn’t been much of an issue. Her catatonia hadn’t even been relevant, and Ross and I kept wondering what had changed. She kept telling us that it was just because she had grown out of it, but we never knew for sure. We both think she was dating someone in secret, but she never said,” Nora was careful not to expose Nicole’s sexuality openly in front of the Earps. While she was sure that her sister wasn’t very liberal with concealing it, and that Waverly was much more to her than just a good friend, she was still unfamiliar to the entire situation, and as open as the conversation between the three had been over the past hour or so, she wasn’t about to say something that the Earp sister might have been unaware of.

“Ross and I left when we turned 18. We couldn’t stand it anymore, living with parents who didn’t really care, and yet still tried to control everything we did. It was hell, and every day just gave us more and more reasons to leave. Cellphones weren’t really a thing back then, so we didn’t have much of a way to stay in contact with Nicole, but we needed to get away from that town and our family, so not long after our birthday Ross and I packed everything into the van, picked up Artie, and left. We were kind of just winging it for awhile, playing on street corners where it was allowed and occasionally in diners or cafe’s. By the time we turned 20, people started taking us more seriously, and we started getting recognized more often. We were never famous, not even close, but we’d run into fans every once in awhile and eventually we could take things pretty easy,” Nora chuckled to herself at the memories of the early days of “Haught Stuff”, all the time they’d spent just barely scraping by with enough money to eat a few times a week.

As they grew more in popularity and developed a name for themselves, they started getting paid much more for their performances, and they were requested by bars and restaurants and everything else in between that could be thought of at least a few times a week. “We kinda just drove all over the country, wherever we felt like going. Artie was the one in charge of booking, but a lot of the time we’d just set up wherever and play for fun. Usually we’d end up getting donations, but we didn’t really ask for them. People were just generous, and we got lucky.”

“Eventually, Ross and Artie wanted to have a family. Gay marriage wasn’t legal yet, but one day we played in a diner where the owner was surrogating for a friend of hers. One thing led to another, and boom- Konnor was born nine months later,” Nora gestured out the window to the boy who had by now retrieved his tablet from his aunt’s car and was currently invested in playing some game.

“I didn’t really think it was the best time for them to have a kid, but they were so adamant that they were ready, and I couldn’t really stop them. Our lives just became so invested in music and raising him, and eventually we didn’t think about Nicole as much anymore. She was off living her own life, we were out living ours, and there was just never a good time to try and find her again,” guilt was evident in the blonde woman’s tone and her lips turned in a frown.

“Then Ross died, and that’s when everything started falling apart. Konnor is so little, and I don’t know how much he really understands about what happened, but he knows his dad isn’t coming back. And since Artie left without a word, now he had to be made aware that his _other_ dad is gone too, but that’s not because of chance of fate, that was his choice. Artie just left him... Didn’t leave a note, didn’t even say goodbye, just... Gone. Konnor lost _both_ his parents in a week, and he’s only five years old,” Nora was doing her best not to let her anger start up again, but every time she said it out loud it only made it that much worse to think about.

Sure, her parents never cared about her the way parents were supposed to, but at least they didn’t pretend to. They didn’t let her think they cared for years, only to up and leave when something goes wrong. Or maybe it wasn’t that Artie didn’t care, but rather had surrendered control of his own decisions to his grief, and it wasn’t him making the choices anymore, rather the pain that was consuming him from within.

But, whatever the reason may or may not have been, he was gone, and even if he wasn’t entirely aware or consciously making the decision to disappear, the fact was that Konnor still had lost someone else close to him before he even had the chance to grow up. To do that to someone as innocent as he was, and someone as important as your own child no less, didn’t make sense in Nora’s perspective. She didn’t even have kids of her own, but the thought of ever abandoning her nephew was insanity in her mind.

She’d absolutely fallen in love with the child, and despite his poorly planned out existence had presented some obstacles, Nora could no longer imagine ever living in a world without Konnor in her life. In a way, he had become like a son to her. She wasn’t just his aunt, she was his guardian. She was one of the people who had raised him, and now was the only person left of the family he had come to know who still could, or would. Of course, if Nicole allowed them to stay, that would certainly help, and would provide Konnor more of a stable environment, but Nora would also make it clear when the time came to ask that she didn’t expect her sister to give or owe her anything.

“And then after Artie left, it had to be by some _miracle_ that I ended up finding her location on a Purgatory Facebook list of residents for the apartments she’s living in. I guess it was created by the owner as some sort of promotion, but Nicole was on there listed as a star tenant, maybe because she’s an officer, I don’t know. But when I searched her name and it came up... I was so terrified and relieved and excited all at once, because I finally had the chance to see her again after so long, but I didn’t have any clue about what to expect when I did show up at her door. I almost didn’t do it. When I pulled up to the apartment, I almost turned around and left, but I kept hearing this voice telling me that I had to see her, I had to explain everything and try to include her in my life again,” Nora sighed to herself and ran a hand through her hair.

After seeing the reaction Nicole had to the news of Ross’ death, it was hard not to blame herself for causing any trouble and wonder if it would’ve been better off to just keep pretending, to not ever confess the truth to the officer and let her continue living on in blissful ignorance. But, those thoughts also immediately stirred up shame for even considering them as an option, because how could she just not tell Nicole that someone she loved was gone? How could Nora just pretend like she didn’t miss her sister, who she and her brother had practically had to raise because their own parents wouldn’t take the time to invest in her? How could she even begin to think that it was better to pretend that nothing had even happened at all?

Wynonna felt a slight pang of her own familiar guilt, old memories stirring in her head of how she had left Waverly alone in Purgatory to go off and live her own life, how she hadn’t ever planned on returning, at least not for a long time. As much as she hated to admit it and never would to anybody, if it weren’t for the sudden death of Curtis, she wasn’t even sure if she would have _ever_ come back.

Of course, she was extremely glad that she was back in Purgatory with her sister, even if the local drunks were more of an annoyance than they had been in the past because she was running the place, and even if some people in the town still looked at her like she was the devil incarnate, or like if they breathed wrong in her direction she’d punch them on the spot. Which, she was happy to let people believe both, but it did get tiring after awhile. But, even so, she wouldn’t have traded anything for getting to live with her sister again, feeling like she was still part of something that mattered. If she was important to someone as good and innocent as her sister, she had to be worth _something_.

“I guess it really is kind of like a life lesson,” Nora chuckled to herself, though any sign of joy or humor was absent from her tone. “We waited so long, spent so many years playing with instruments, raising a kid on hotel buffets and McDonald’s happy meals, let so much distance get between us and the only other family member we cared about, and now the first time I see her in years it’s all because our brother is dead,” she laughed again, but this time it wasn’t just lacking amusement, but was also a harsh, barked out sound, almost sarcastic in it’s tone.

“But... You’re here now,” Nora would’ve expected that kind of advice from Wynonna, so she was a bit surprised to hear it come from Waverly’s voice instead. Apparently the older of the two sisters had the same thought, and she seemed just as surprised as the blonde did. Seemingly aware that all attention was now directed at her, the younger brunette’s voice faltered, but only slightly. “I-I mean... You’ve been gone for years now, yeah, but it’s not like you left just because you wanted to leave her. You... You left because you had to. Because you were stuck, and staying there was only keeping your potential locked up in a cage,” it seemed as though Waverly was trying to justify it to herself as well, like she knew the words to be true but was still convincing herself that she believed them. Wynonna’s pupils were now fully blown and widened, both in confusion mixed with potential hope.

“Even though you left, and even though that was probably hard for her to deal with, Nicole still loves you. And... And she probably still looks up to you, because you were there for her all those years when no one else was, s-so you should talk to her, and... And tell her that you regret not finding her sooner,” it was clear that Waverly was not only talking about Nora’s situation with Nicole, but her advice still applied, and as she shared another meaningful look with her sister the blonde let herself ponder the thought. A silence eventually broke out over the room that nobody seemed willing to break, but it ended not long after to the sound of the front door opening.

“Aunt Nora? How long are we gonna be here?” Konnor whined, clutching his tablet in one hand at his side. Sometimes Nora had to remind herself that her nephew really was still just a child, only had lived for five short years, a little more than a sixth of her lifetime. Sometimes he would say or do things that made it seem as if he were much older- He dealt with responsibility well and he had never been one to cry or complain if he was told no- But there were other times, times like that moment, where even with a lengthy attention span he would still grow impatient after a certain amount of time passed and would complain about his boredom. It was clear by the look on his face and the way he was rubbing his eyes that he was tired.

“Not long buddy. Actually, we probably should be going anyways, Nicole was sleeping when I left but I don’t want her to wake up alone,” Nora explained, standing up from the couch and stretching her arms over her head. Her muscles felt stiff from sitting in the same position for so long, and she cracked her neck and fingers to release some of the tension in her body. “Uh, it was nice to meet you, both of you. I’m sure if Nicole still wants me around I’ll be seeing more of you,” the musician let out a small laugh, and both the Earp sisters smiled in agreement and acknowledgement. Konnor made his way over to Nora, wordlessly and lazily holding up his arms, to which the musician couldn’t suppress a small laugh as she picked him up.

She knew it was important for her nephew to sleep at least for a few hours in the day at his age, and though his nap schedule had never followed any particular pattern or been official, she did her best to make sure that he got extra time to rest whenever she could. Without the added pressure of traveling from city to city with the band, she hoped that she could develop a proper time set aside for him. He yawned as he laid his head on her shoulder, already starting to drift in her arms.

“Thank you guys, for everything,” Nora offered her sincere to the pair, and Waverly responded with a heartfelt “Of course” while Wynonna simply nodded at the blonde. She shifted Konnor’s weight slightly in her arms and made her way out the door towards her sedan. It wasn’t until Konnor was securely fastened in his seatbelt and she was just about to open the driver’s side door that she was stopped.

“Can I come with you?”

Nora looked up in surprise to see Waverly standing in front of her, looking up at the musician with pleading eyes, concern evidently written in her expression. “I just... I’m really worried for her, and I know she might not be able to hear me or talk to me, but I just want to see her. You know, to make sure she’s okay,” she explained quietly, casting her eyes to the ground in a sudden shift of dynamic. Now instead of fear for Nicole’s wellbeing, the younger Earp sister was radiating the fear of something else- Rejection.

Like she was afraid that Nora would say no, or maybe something more complex than that. Something that had less to do with Nicole’s sister, and more to do with Nicole. Unable to even consider denying her request, Nora simply gestured to the passenger seat and received what she was confident was the most relieved look of gratitude she had ever seen in her life. She half expected Waverly to hug her.

Once the pair were secure in the sedan and their seatbelts had been fastened, Nora began the drive back to Nicole’s apartment. Most of the car ride was spent in silence, but eventually the blonde in the driver’s seat reached up and pressed resume on her CD player. Immediately the silence was filled with the sound of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” and the air in the small vehicle slowly began to feel less tense. By the time Nora pulled up next to the apartment, the pair were even singing along quietly to the words, and they shared a soft smile before the car shut off.

Nora maneuvered Konnor out from his car seat and held him against her body, holding him up and partially over one of her shoulders. She and Waverly approached the house side by side, and though from outside nothing seemed to be disturbed, things changed quite drastically once they opened the door.

“Nicole!” both Nora and Waverly reacted by almost instinctively calling her name out in fear.

The red haired officer was currently sitting on the floor in the middle of her living room, wheezing uncontrollably as tears flowed steadily down over her face. She was gasping like she couldn’t get air to her lungs quick enough and her hazel eyes were wild, fearfully darting from place to place across the room, never lingering for more than a few mere seconds in one location. In an instant, Konnor was on the armchair near the door and Nora was by Nicole’s side, grasping either of her shoulders firmly in her hands. Waverly approached as well, but slower and with heightened caution, afraid that if she interfered she could cause further complications.

“Nicole? Nicole! Look at me!” Nora’s voice wasn’t a request, but a command, firm, and yet still somehow gentle. When the gasping didn’t show any signs of ceasing, Nora gripped tighter to her sister’s body. “Nicky, honey, I need you to look at me, okay? You’re gonna be alright, you’re back,” she spoke with confidence- Whether it was false or not remained undetermined and mostly irrelevant anyway- And she continued holding down on the younger woman’s frame until she managed to make eye contact.

“Nicky, it’s me, it’s Nora. You’re okay, you’re safe. I need you to breathe with me okay?” she reached up and cupped the side of Nicole’s face, wiping away a few of the tears in the process.

“I-I-I... I can-can’t... Remember how... How t-to... To breathe!” Nicole managed to choke out through strained groans as she attempted to gulp down air, and Nora leaned back a small bit to take both the officer’s hands in her own.

“That’s why I’m here, I’m gonna help you remember. I need you to close your eyes, okay Nicky?” Waverly was impressed that Nora could remain so calm in a situation that seemed so frantic, especially when not long ago she’d seen the blonde breaking down in her living room. But now, her demeanor was relaxed and calming- Still firm, but not demanding.

“I-I... I can’t! I’m too- too s-scared th-tha-that I wont be... Able t-to c-co-come back!” Nicole’s crying intensified, and it was everything the younger Earp sister had in her not to rush to her side and hold her tightly until she was calm again, but she had no idea how to deal with someone who was having a panic attack. She’d had her fair share of break downs- Nightmares, self harm, and periods of depression where she would lock herself away in her room for days at a time, only coming out when absolutely necessary for daily life, but this was something entirely new and incredibly terrifying.

This wasn’t just depression or anxiety. This was absolute, unexplainable _fear_. This was losing any remaining grip on reality that possibly was left, feeling as if any moment you could suffocate because you couldn’t get air to your lungs as fast as it was leaving. When Waverly looked at Nicole crying helplessly on the floor, absolutely no remaining control over her body functions and barely able to get air into her chest so she could breathe, she could only imagine the terror that the officer had to be experiencing.

“Nicky, you’re gonna come back, because I’m gonna be right here with you okay? I’m not gonna let you go, but you have to trust me. You have to trust that I’m not going to let you fall apart. Can you do that? Can you trust me?” she stared straight at her sister as she spoke, tightening her grip on Nicole’s hands as she spoke to hopefully add a bit of extra confirmation to her words. The ginger stared back at her, taking in large gulps of air in short, rapid bursts. Her face was bright red and her eyes were bloodshot, and every part of her body was shaking uncontrollably.

“You le-left... You lef-left m-me befo-before,” she stumbles getting the words out, but the message was more than clear to Nora.

“I know Nicky, I know, and I was stupid. Ross was stupid. We were all stupid, all of us, but I’m not leaving now. Not this time, not again. Please Nicky, please, let me help you come back,” it was the first time Waverly heard Nora’s voice lack confidence, rather she was speaking now in desperate pleas just audible enough that they could be heard over the sound of Nicole’s panting.

“R-Ross... Ross is de-dead... He-e’s g-go-one,” Nicole squeaked out the words, and her sister’s eyes welled with their own tears as she nodded.

“Yeah... Ross is gone,” Nora’s heart broke all over again saying the words and seeing the wave of defeat that washed over the auburn haired woman. She tightened her grip once more. “Ross is gone, but _you_  aren’t. You’re not gone, and you can’t go because of him. He wouldn’t want that. He wouldn’t want you to let go because of him. He would want you to keep going. Please Nicky... Nicole... Let me bring you back,” The officer hesitated in answering, seemingly trying to get a bit of a handle on her tears with little success. She then opened her mouth to speak several times before closing it, finally settling with a nod when no sound came out other than a few choked back sobs. She let her eyes slide closed and Nora took one of her sister’s hands, placing two of the fingers against her wrist.

“Nicky, I need you to concentrate on my heartbeat. Don’t think about anything else, don’t think about anyone else. It’s just you, and the sound of this pulse. Nothing else matters right now,” Nora held Nicole’s hand in place, but she released her grip and simply kept her hand in it’s position on top of her sister’s. She watched as the redhead slowly started to relax, her breathing evening out little by little as she concentrated. The tears didn’t stop falling even with her eyes closed, but they slowed and weren’t as heavy or prominent as before. Only when Nicole’s face slowly started fading back to its natural skin tone and her breathing matched the pacing of the pulse did Nora pull back enough to give her sister a bit of space, allowing her to readjust on her own.

Waverly sat motionless across the room, her eyes fixated solely on Nicole’s frame. She wasn’t even sure if she had yet blinked, too afraid that if she even let herself look away for a fraction of a second she might lose the officer all together. She didn’t remember when she too had started crying, but she paid her tears little attention. As she watched the younger woman begin to regain her consciousness, Nora stood and made her way over to Konnor, who luckily hadn’t woke up in the midst of all the hassle and panic. She picked him up carefully and passed quietly down the hall, laying him on the bed in the guest room across the hall from Nicole’s own bedroom, closing the door and flicking off the light behind her.

When she returned to the living room, Nicole was now on the couch with Waverly, their arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace. They didn’t utter a single word and didn’t plan on doing so- There were too many things to say and not enough time to say them, and for now everything they needed to tell each other could be expressed without words and instead through physical contact. When they finally pulled apart, Nicole was the first to notice her sister’s presence in the entrance of the room, and in five quick strides she was in Nora’s arms, tears flowing from both women the instant they were in contact.

They too could settle for the time to convey all their thoughts wordlessly, and they remained clinging to each other for what seemed to stretch on for hours. By the time they finally released each other from their grasp, an odd silence had fallen over the room that seemed inappropriate to break prematurely. When it would be a proper time to intervene, no one seemed to know or care. Nicole took a seat next to Waverly on the couch, their arms finding their way around each other, and with Nora sitting on her other side the ginger woman reached out to grasp her hand tightly.

For what could have been seconds or possibly hours, the three sat nearly motionless on the couch, each slipping back and forth between consciousness and doing their best to keep their eyes open. It felt as if any remaining energy in the room had been drained away by some imaginary machine capable of doing so, and staying awake was suddenly becoming more and more of a challenge.

Waverly was the first to give in to her exhaustion. The sensation of gentle fingers running through her hair and the ticking of a nearby clock slowly became the only two things that even seemed to exist, and her eyelids eventually grew so heavy that it had become a strain to keep them open any longer. She was asleep almost before her eyes were fully closed. Nicole followed suite not long after, the soft, steady rhythm of breath from the woman next to her providing a calming lull in her ear. She could feel Waverly’s pulse as well, her ear placed firmly against the brunette’s chest, slowing down bit by bit as she slipped further and further into her slumber.

Nora’s entire body felt like it had been stretched out of place and then hastily snapped back together, and wanted nothing more than to allow herself to follow the lead of the two women next to her. But, unfortunately, her mind was so busy with a train wreck of thoughts and questions that the idea of rest was impossible. Every time she tried to close her eyes, she would have a reason to open them again, something to think about or plan ahead for or consider about the future. At some point she gave up trying and instead gave her sister’s hand a final, firm squeeze, then relocated to the smaller couch across the room. She laid on her back and propped her head up with her arms, her eyes slowly fixating in on a random spot on the ceiling.

There were still plenty of things to discuss, plenty of arrangements to be made if Nicole allowed her and Konnor to stay. There were proper introductions to be conducted so that the five year old boy could finally meet the aunt he’d heard so much about. There were explanations to be all laid out in the open and there was plenty of forgiveness to be asked for. But, for the moment, the blonde musician was content just laying there, watching over the people she loved and staying alert at all times, ready to do whatever was necessary in order to keep her family safe, even if that meant sacrificing herself in their place. Wynonna has been correct earlier, when she had explained how it felt to watch a loved one suffer helplessly. If given the choice to take away their pain and bear that weight herself, Nora wouldn’t even hesitate for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you guys think??? I really hope you enjoyed it, this chapter was tons of fun to write and I think it sheds a lot of light on a ton of missing backstory! Next chapter should be up in the near future, so stay tuned and as always please review if you have anything to say!! :)


	19. Vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following arrangements made to hold a vigil in honor of Ross, Nora decides to invite the Earp sisters to help support Nicole through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! I know it’s been ages since I updated I know, and I’m so so so sorry!! I really can’t apologize enough about not being on more, but I just recently got a job that’s only on weekends and in school I have been writing my senior project report and working on that project, so I’ve just been super busy lately and for that I deeply apologize with all of my heart! I can promise you that lots of updates and new content is coming soon, and once summer hits then I should be in golden shape to get back into the writing game!!! I’m sorry this is a shorter chapter, I honestly tried to write more, but I’d rather give you better content than more content if what I’m giving you isn’t as good when I try to mass produce. Anyways, please let me know what you think! All feedback is appreciated!!!

“Of course I want you to stay!” Nicole was surprised that her sister was even asking, especially in such a way that made it seem like she was nervous to hear the answer, as if the officer would turn her away. Nora seemed equally taken aback that her question had been answered so simply. “Did you think I wasn’t going to let you?”

“Well... I don’t know, I just didn’t know what to expect, I guess. We haven’t seen each other in years, and all of a sudden I show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night with a kid in my arms to tell you that our brother died. There aren’t exactly how-to guides for this kind of stuff,” Nora shrugged, relieved to see Nicole’s lips curl into half smile as she let out a small laugh. Well, it was more of an amused breath that had faint traces of a laugh, but the blonde musician would take that over nothing any day. She returned her gaze to the wall of rain in front of her, leaning back against her chair.

It was currently around 7:00 in the morning, and Nora had roused from her sleep on the living room couch about an hour earlier to the sound of heavy rain against the windows. The house itself was still relatively dark, but she managed to make her way around well enough to change her clothes and pour a glass of water. It was only then through the kitchen window that she saw her sister on the front porch, sitting motionless on the cushioned bench pressed against the wall beside the door. She’d joined her without a word, and they’d been sitting quietly for the majority of the time. It was only when Nora gathered the courage to ask if Nicole was okay with her and Konnor staying that the silence had been broken by anything other than the rain.

“Do you think... Do you think we should do something for him? For Ross?” Nicole’s question surprised her sister, and the blonde looked over at the younger woman inquisitively. Her gaze was fixated somewhere in the distance, not directly at the rain but through it, as if searching for something else beyond.

“Something?” Nora wasn’t entirely sure what they would do, but she would participate in anything that could offer any sort of comfort or closure for the ginger woman beside her. The only response she received was a nod, and she sat for a moment in thought. She and Konnor had left for Purgatory a few days after the funeral- Her brother’s request was that he be cremated, and she still had his ashes in an urn tucked away in the safety of her car. “What kind of something?” Before she had a chance to offer up any type of suggestion, Nicole proposed an idea.

“What if we held a vigil? And what if... If we held it tonight?”

Nora was unsure of how to properly respond to the suggestion, because she didn’t know much about vigils- Nothing other than they were a period where people stayed awake throughout the night and traditionally were supposed to remain silent, though she knew that in some ceremonies people still talked quietly amongst themselves. She’d even heard that for some overnight vigils people would take shifts throughout the night, where one person would remain awake while the others slept for a time, and then positions would switch.

Okay, so maybe she knew more about them than she had originally anticipated, though she wasn’t entirely sure as to what something like that would do for her sister, other than give her more time to think and drown in her own worries. However, if Nicole believed it would give her a way to begin accepting that Ross was gone, or at least offer her a sense of closure instead of her scrambled thoughts never quite able to make perfect sense of things, Nora would be right by her side the entire time. Even so, she wanted to make sure that this was really what her younger sister wanted to do, because as much as Ross was Nicole’s brother, he was her own as well, and she was more than happy to let the ginger woman decide on something but wanted to insure it felt like the right way to remember him.

“Are you sure? We’d be up the entire night, and we’d need to get some rest today before we start. And we’d need to arrange for someone to look after Konnor,” Nora reached over and placed a tentative hand on the redhead’s shoulder who looked up at her slowly, her lip nearly quivering as if her idea may be turned down. “But I’ll absolutely do it if that’s what you want! Don’t let me change your mind! I’ll be by your side no matter what Nicky. Whatever you decide to do, whatever you think is best. I’m right here, okay?” the musician promised, squeezing Nicole’s shoulder gently. After receiving only a curt nod of confirmation in response, the familiar blanket of silence wove itself back into the air around them. The auburn haired woman leaned against Nora’s side, her head resting over the older woman’s collar bone, and they remained silent. The only sound that offered any level of noise louder than gentle breathing was the steady, roaring drumbeat of rain against the earth.

* * *

When Waverly’s red Jeep pulled up to Nicole’s apartment complex, both Earp sisters stepped outside into a heavy sheet of water. The sky was no brighter than it had been at daybreak, and the clouds were busy pouring what felt like buckets of cold rain to the now-muddy ground surrounding the apartment. The pair made their way beneath the shelter of the porch roof quickly, though even their best efforts didn’t prevent the rainwater from penetrating their clothes.

They shared a knowing look and held each other’s gaze for a few lingering seconds before Waverly slowly turned and knocked on the door, then stepped back ever so slightly, seemingly almost uncomfortable to be at a place she’d already visited numerous times.

Nora answered the door after a moment that lasted far longer than either of the Earp women would’ve preferred, but they said nothing as she stood aside and let them walk in, closing and locking the door behind them. Over the sound of the rain outside, the second hand of the clock could be heard ticking on in rhythm, echoing slightly throughout the area.

“Where is she?” Waverly’s voice broke the silence that had fallen upon them, but it was quiet enough that had the two women opposite her not been within the immediate vicinity, they likely wouldn’t have heard her speak at all.

“Sleeping,” Nora’s tone matched the younger Earp’s, and she gestured to the living room behind her where indeed, a tall, slender form lay still on the couch, covered mostly by two blankets and only identifiable by the mess of red curls that poked out at the top. Waverly was quick but cautious in approaching her, kneeling down slowly beside the couch and hesitating for a moment. She could hear voices behind her, and though she heard them clearly they faded easily into the background.

“Are you hungry?” Nora’s eyes flicked between the two sisters, receiving her answer in the form of the brief shake of Wynonna’s head.

“We ate earlier,” the older Earp woman’s voice was soft, cautious almost, as if she were afraid speaking too loudly would interrupt something important. Nobody seemed to know what to say after that for a long while. “Where’s Konnor?” Wynonna finally thought to ask.

“Nedley offered to watch him till the morning,” Nora explained, running a hand through her short blonde locks. She looked at the dark haired woman next to her for a moment, then turned her attention to Waverly, still frozen in place in front of the couch. Hesitantly, she knelt beside the younger woman and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. “You really care about her.” It wasn’t a question, simply an observation, and Waverly nodded silently.

“I... I really appreciate you guys doing this with us. I know Nicky does too,” as if on cue at her name, Nicole’s body shifted and she groaned lightly, rolling over so her front was facing the two women in front of her. It took a few moments, but slowly her eyelids fluttered open and she made immediate eye-contact with Waverly.

“Hey... What are you doing here Waves? Not that I don’t enjoy your company,” she added quickly, blinking a few times in hopes to clear her vision. Her lips curled up into a soft smile, but there was obvious pain in her gaze. The brunette immediately mirrored the smile and moved closer, then let a hand rest gently on Nicole’s shoulder, rubbing the exposed skin through her tank top soothingly.

“I know it’s not for another few hours, but Nora thought you might want some extra company for the night, so she called us. I hope that’s okay?” it wasn’t like anyone thought the auburn haired woman would refuse, least of all Waverly herself, but she felt uncomfortable about saying she was going to stay without getting verbal approval first. The smile on Nicole’s face brightened slightly, her eyes fading to a more relax, neutral state.

“That’s great. I’m really glad you’re here,” she smiled at Nora, then leaned over and pulled the shorter woman into a tight hug that lingered for a few moments longer than what was probably necessary. “You too Wynonna, thank you,” she gestured to the older Earp woman when the embrace was broken, and received a sincere nod and understanding smile in response. The officer on the couch sat up and stretched, raising her arms over her head before running a hand through her hair to attempt to push some of her curls back into place.

“I’m gonna go get out of these clothes, be back soon,” she promised, her eyes catching Waverly’s and holding her gaze for just a few moments, before she turned and retreated down the hallway towards her bedroom. Waverly watched after her until she heard the bedroom door close, and once again the living room was engulfed in silence, only broken by the rhythmic drumming of rain against the roof.

* * *

To pass the time until it was officially late enough to consider it night, Wynonna suggested board games or cards, and though it was questioned at first, before long a two and a half hour round of Uno finally came to an end, with Waverly winning in the very end.

“Thank god,” Wynonna groaned as her sister laid down her final card with a victorious smile, tossing her seven remaining cards onto the table with a loud, exasperating sigh. “I don’t think I can handle any more Uno like, ever. I’ll be happy if I never see that game again in my life!”

“Touché, but it was fun while it lasted,” Nora agreed, gathering up the pile of cards on the table as she began to organize them into a neat stack.

“How long did that last?” Nicole asked, stretching her back up and glancing around to see the clock hanging on the wall. She chuckled when she felt a shift beside her leg and leaned back down to scratch Ghost behind the ears, watching as he nuzzled her hand and adjusted himself slightly.

“Few hours at least. 8:00, that’s pretty much night isn’t it?” Wynonna asked, taking a swig of the bottle of water beside her on the floor.

“Yep,” Nora popped the ‘p’ and finished letting the cards slide into the box in front of her, glancing around at the three other women around the coffee table. “I... Guess we start then now?”

“Yeah, we shoul-“

“Wait!” Nicole interrupted Waverly before she could finished, and shot her an apologetic glance before jumping up and bolting into the kitchen. From the living room, drawers could be heard being opened and rummaged through, and a few moments later Nicole re-emerged in the living room carrying a handful of tall white candles and a lighter.

“I thought... These may be nice,” she explained with a sheepish shrug, and Waverly quickly stood up to help spread the candles throughout the room, followed by Nora and Wynonna a moment later. Within a few minutes, everyone had finished placing candles and Nicole flicked off the ceiling light, allowing the room to bathe in the glow of the flames as their shadows mirrored them on the wall.

It hadn’t officially been decided that the vigil would start then, but no one said a word as they found comfortable positions throughout the room. Wynonna settled into an arm chair near the back corner, Nora took a seat on the floor leaning against the love seat, and Nicole found a seat next to Waverly on the couch, their hands immediately finding each other and their fingers interlocking.

The silence was deafening, especially after playing such a vocal game for a few hours straight, but it was oddly comfortable. After a moment, Nicole let her head lower and lean into Waverly’s shoulder. Immediately the brunette leaned back and let her adjust, and soon there was almost no space between the two of them. Nobody made eye contact and nobody said a word, and the candles continued to burn steadily. Soon even the rain slowed to a stop, and eventually there was nothing left to do but to wait and think, and there were plenty of things for everyone in the room to think about.

* * *

Waverly hadn’t even realized she’d fallen asleep, but she knew she was woken up by what sounded like muffled crying. Blinking rapidly to try and adjust her eyes from sleep, she looked around the room that was still only partially illuminated by candles- Though over half had gone out by then and the remaining ones weren’t far behind- Her eyes eventually landing on a spot on the opposite end of the couch she was on.

She could only make out a glimmer of familiar auburn locks in the candlelight, but it was enough to determine the source of the crying. Though she tried to be cautious in her approach as she hesitantly placed a hand on the crying woman’s shoulder, Nicole still jumped back in surprise and snapped her head towards Waverly. She wiped at her eyes furiously in a desperate attempt to hide her tears, and for a moment the two sat face to face in silence.

Nicole’s eyes flicked towards the digital clock on the small table beside the couch that held up a simple lamp, and a moment later Waverly’s gaze followed and landed on the neon green 12:00 flashing at them. It was only then that the younger Earp noticed that the rain had picked back up at some point while she was asleep, now accompanied by heavy thunder and obnoxiously loud wind, and she watched as Nicole stood and maneuvered her way through the dimly lit room to the lamp.

After flicking the switch a few times in succession with no resulting light and confirming the theory of a power outage, she sighed and made her way back to the couch, reaching down next to the outlet on the wall and pulling up her phone where it had been plugged in. The time on the front read 2:37 AM, and she showed it to Waverly before setting it back down.

The silence had been irrelevant earlier, mainly because everyone in the room definitely had lists a mile long of things to occupy themselves with in thought, but now it almost seemed crushing, and it was everything the brunette had not to speak out and ask what had been wrong that Nicole was crying. Ross could have understandably been the answer to that question, but easily so could a multitude of other reasons.

Desperate to show her support in whatever way she could demonstrate, the smaller woman reached out and took one of the officer’s hands in her own, while placing the other on her shoulder. Nicole hesitated, muscles tensing slightly upon contact, but slowly she began to relax and she leaned into the touch. Waverly laid back and let the ginger adjust positions at her side, and it wasn’t long before the tears started once again.

Waverly felt it before she heard it, small saltwater stains forming against the front of her top and the frame by her side shivering ever so slightly. The hands clutching her shirt clenched even harder and twisted the fabric tightly, as if the woman they were attached to was afraid of letting go. The younger woman glanced down at Nicole and as their eyes met they held their gaze, silent and still in the light of dancing flames. Waverly slowly wiped a stray tear away with her thumb and let her hand linger against the soft skin just for a few moments longer, never once daring to look away from the pools of glistening ember color she was quickly getting lost in.

Nicole reached up tentatively, brushing a loose strand of hair out of the brunette’s eyes and tucking it behind her ear with a delicate hand. Within moments, the policewoman’s breathing began to even out, and Waverly reached up to gently run her fingers through her auburn streaks of hair. Maybe it was against the rules to sleep during a vigil, but Nicole and Wynonna were fast asleep in their own positions across the room, and if one person stayed awake the entire time it was consecutive right?

Even if she was wrong, Waverly was not about to interrupt Nicole and force her to stay awake, not after everything she’d been through over the past few days. She could only imagine that the taller woman was physically and mentally exhausted, and a night of silence alone with her thoughts hopefully helped her to clear her head a bit. Either way, Waverly knew she wouldn’t have the answer to that question until daybreak, so she simply remained still as Nicole slowly began to drift into unconsciousness. Her breath was warm against the brunette’s exposed collarbone, and only when the rise and fall of Nicole’s lungs had evened out did Waverly’s nerves settle in her stomach.

“I’m here for you Nicole, always,” it was a whisper that was barely audible above the thunderstorm outside, and even if it was technically breaking her vigil, she hoped that Ross- Wherever he may have been- Would understand and forgive her for it. “No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to leave your side, not now or ever.” Even if Nicole couldn’t hear her words, Waverly couldn’t help but wonder if she somehow subconsciously was listening, interoperating the sound as a distant dream. It was this irrational worry that prevented the younger woman from saying more, but she knew there was definitely more to be said, and when the time was right, eventually it would be.

For the moment however, Waverly held her tongue, unsure of just what would come out of her mouth should she decide to open it again. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she noticed as she finished that the rain begin to slow, and it continued until had stopped almost entirely. Once it had been reduced to nothing beyond a mere drizzle, the lamp next to the couch flickered on, and the sounds of appliances restarting could be heard throughout the house.

Maybe interpreting the end of the storm and the power returning as an indication of Ross showing sympathy towards speaking during his vigil was naive, but it was the only explanation Waverly’s mind would let her agree on. Deciding not to fight her instincts, she instead turned her attention back to the living room her eye caught by the single remaining candle that was still lit, though she knew any moment it would burn itself out as well.

“I promise,” it was not a promise solely to Nicole, but to Nora and Ross as well, to assure them that she meant every word she’d said, and would stand by them regardless of what they may end up costing her. Waverly sighed quietly to herself, and as she look around she happened to catch sight of a thin wisp of smoke rising towards the ceiling, just as the final candle burned itself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?? What did you guys think?? Let me know in the comments below and I will be back with another update coming soon, along with more updates for other chapter stories, and both new oneshots and multi-chapter stories to be posted soon!


	20. Psychology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is ready to go back to work and Nora is still paying for Ross’s funeral, so she finds a job working for a local florist. With both his aunts busy at work and unable to watch him all day, Konnor is left under the care of Wynonna. Things seem to be going alright, but Konnor is still just a kid, and he still doesn’t understand everything yet. The only problem- Wynonna doesn’t understand it all either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! If you’ve made it to chapter 20, I want to take a moment to say thank you for making it this far! This chapter is a lot more centric on Wynonna, because this story is not solely focused on WayHaught, and they have been the ones getting a lot of the attention the past couple of chapters. I did put in some stuff with Nicole, and I promise next chapter will be full of WayHaught drama haha! Anyway, I tried to make this one a little bit longer than the last one, so I hope you guys enjoy!! As always, let me know what you guys thought down below in the comments, I love your reviews and feedback!! If you guys have any suggestions for what you’d like to see happen, or you think something would be cool to incorporate into a certain part, everyone is always welcome to leave suggestions in the comments. If you’d prefer to talk to me directly or you’d just like to chat about writing, Wynonna Earp, or other fandoms I’ve written for, you can contact me on my Tumblr, my Twitter, or my email.
> 
> Tumblr: BoxOfSoap (Main), DontTouchTheGun (Side blog strictly for Wynonna Earp)
> 
> Twitter: Walls_Of_Blue
> 
> Email: betweenmydreams12@gmail.com

Wynonna would never admit it to anyone who asked, but she knew that Waverly was the real reason a lot of the patrons at Shorty’s were regulars. Sure, the older of the two Earp girls was the one who owned the bar, and she made sure to give Waverly less work than herself because she didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed, but the shorter brunette girl had quickly and easily become the face of the establishment, with her signature smile and wave that she had mastered over time.

It was nothing new- She’d been teaching herself how to mask her true feelings since they were kids, ever since the death of their father. The slobbering alcoholics that paid their electric bill were always quick to throw a bit extra Waverly’s way, sometimes double their tab if they’d had too much to drink.

It was this knowledge and her desperation to keep the business flourishing that forced Wynonna to agree to let Waverly run the bar for a day, while she stayed at Nicole’s apartment and watched her nephew Konnor.

She had never been great with kids- Knew almost nothing about them if she were being honest- But with Waverly in charge Shorty’s was assured to have a profitable business day. The younger woman had given her sympathy, reminding her sister that it was only for a day until Nora and Nicole could arrange for Konnor to attend a local day care, but that didn’t make her any less irritable when she had to wake herself up at 5:30 in the morning so she could drive through dark streets to the apartment.

It had been about a week since the vigil for Ross had been held, and Nicole was finally ready to go back to work at the Sheriff’s Department. Nora, for her part, was still paying costs for their brother’s funeral so she’d applied for a day job at the local florists shop so she wouldn’t be forced to completely blow out her entire savings account.

Nicole had offered to help and initially Nora had refused, but the officer insisted that it was just as much her responsibility because Ross was just as much her brother, and with that the older of the Haught sisters couldn’t argue. But since they were both now determined to make a substantial working wage, it meant neither of them could stay home all day.

And that was where Wynonna’s assistance came into play. Despite her lack of excitement about the task, she had agreed immediately to help Nicole and Nora out, refusing to let them even attempt to pay her when they offered. She shivered as she stepped out of her truck into the crisp morning air, clothed in old sweatpants and a faded shirt with a worn out picture of a motorcycle on the front that she really only wore anymore when she was going to bed. Even for October, it was colder than she appreciated, and she shivered as she ran her hands over her exposed arms, feeling goosebumps forming over her skin.

She slowly made her way towards the apartment, but as she raised her hand to knock the door opened to reveal Nicole standing in the doorway, fully clothed in her police uniform. Clasped firmly by the handle in her free hand was a turquoise blue mug, with steam billowing up over the rim.

“Oh, hey Wynonna, I didn’t think you’d actually be on time,” Nicole’s words were teasing and she sported a soft smile, but her voice mostly sounded tired. The older woman greeted her with an understanding smile in response, and the officer quickly pulled the door back further. “Come on in,” she quickly stepped aside and let the darker haired woman step in through the doorway. Wynonna nodded appreciatively in her direction as she entered, wrapping her arms around herself and rubbing her skin to attempt to retain a tolerable body temperature. The smell of hazelnut coffee hit her nostrils as she stepped into the kitchen and she leaned against the counter, though she kept most of her weight off the marble surface.

“Uh... Do you want breakfast? Or just... Anything to eat?” Nicole asked after a few moments, and the older woman almost had to laugh, because it was obvious that the ginger haired woman hadn’t made any “breakfast” other than coffee. Wynonna shook her head with a hand held up.

“I’m alright, I usually don’t eat till noon anyways,” she chuckled with a shrug.

“That’s not healthy for you,” a small smile tugged at the corner’s of Nicole’s lips at her words, because they were both aware that the older woman knew damn well the officer didn’t eat till at least noon either. Waverly had scolded the both of them about it numerous times, and had gone on multiple spiels about how skipping meals would lower and slow their metabolisms and they would eventually develop a dependence on coffee and a bunch of other health-related word vomit that Wynonna couldn’t be bothered to remember more of.

“I know, I know, metabolism and all that,” she offered a slight grin towards the red head, who matched her smile for a few moments before returning her gaze to the cup of coffee in her hand. Nicole’s lips uncurled slowly, fading eventually into just a solemn stare into the caramel colored liquid in the mug she held tightly between her fingers, her eyes never leaving the beverage that was quickly losing its heat in its idle position.

“It’ll be weird going back to work,” she broke the silence with a small, breathy laugh, though her expression showed no sign of joy. Hesitating only for a moment, Wynonna stood straight, only then realizing she’d been increasingly letting her weight rely more and more on the support of the counter the longer she’d stood against it, and placed a comforting but uncertain hand on Nicole’s shoulder. The officer acknowledged the gesture by placing her hand on top of Wynonna’s, her touch just as hesitant and light.

“He’d be proud of you, you know,” hearing herself use the timeless cliché almost made the Earp woman cringe, but she firmly held a straight face to show that she was serious. Nicole huffed out a loud breath that could almost have been classified as a laugh, and her chocolate-hazel eyes flicked up to meet Wynonna’s blue gaze. She appeared as though she wanted to say something, but the moments continued to pass and still she made not a sound.

Nicole bit down on her lip harder than she’d anticipated on doing so, but she didn’t bother releasing her bite until she tasted a sour, almost metallic tang on her tongue and realized she’d broken the skin of a small cut on her bottom lip. It was everything she had to keep herself standing upright, but she cursed at herself firmly in her head. She’d promised herself that today would be the day she was alright again, when she could go back to work and continue with her life as normal. Or at least, whatever the new normal would be with Nora and Konnor living with her.

She kept her eyes closed, too afraid that if she opened them she’d start to cry again, until she felt something wet against her lip. She let her eyelids slide up enough to see that Wynonna was holding the corner of a paper towel against the cut. She hadn’t registered that the brunette had moved from her position, or that she’d maneuvered her way through the kitchen to find a paper towel and run water over it.

Wynonna made no eye contact, instead keeping her gaze trained on the cut as she switched between wet and dry patches of the towel, and she didn’t pull back until the blood had stopped flowing and began to scab over. As the brunette turned to throw the towel away, Nicole’s hand slowly moved to touch the cut lightly, and she could feel a slight bump where the blood had hardened against her lip, though she moved it away again as Wynonna turned back. As she looked up into the older woman’s dark irises, she felt a bitter twinge against her tongue and visibly grimaced.

“Maybe he could have been proud of me when I was a kid, and not left me to fend for myself so I could spend the rest of my life wondering if he really was proud of me or not. Maybe he could have tracked me down sooner so he could have actually told me himself. Maybe he could have bothered to write, or call, or look up my damn Facebook account and let me know how he was doing, tell me what was happening in his life, and make sure I knew how he felt. Maybe he could’ve just... He could’ve... He... He didn’t...” Nicole’s chest burned with both anger and immediate regret at the sharpness of her words, and she held her head in shame as her hands clutched shakily to the coffee in between. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t... He doesn’t-“ before she could continue, she was quickly cut off.

“Nicole, just because he’s dead doesn’t excuse him of hurting and leaving you. The dead don’t just get a free pass on the pain they caused in life. He still caused a lot of mistrust and doubt in your life, and both he and your sister should have reached out sooner if they could have. You don’t have to pretend you’re not upset just because he’s not here anymore,” Nicole perhaps knew better than anyone but Waverly how personal Wynonna’s advice to her was, but she also knew that the Earp sisters and their relationship with the family they’d lost was a very different situation compared to the officer and her siblings.

“I know... But it’s not even that I’m mad at them, I’m just... I’m just mad at absolutely nothing,” Nicole sighed, wishing she could somehow retract into her own skin and hide from the rest of the world.

“Then be mad,” it wasn’t an odd suggestion coming from Wynonna, but the ginger was still slightly surprised at the fire in her words. “Be mad at whatever you want, or at nothing at all. Feel whatever it is that you need to feel. Don’t apologize. Don’t feel guilty for not just being okay with everything,” the darker brunette haired woman held a firm jaw, and Nicole could only nod in response to her instructions. As she let her eyes wander to the digital clock across the kitchen, suddenly the officer jumped and nearly dropped the cup in her hands.

“Shit! It’s almost 6:30! I have to go, uh... Are you sure you’ll be okay here with Konnor? Shit, I haven’t even told you anything to prepare you,” Nicole frantically began pulling on her uniform jacket and slipping her feet inside her work boots.

“Relax Nicole, everything will be fine. Konnor is five, and you and Nora will only be gone for a few hours. Not to mention, you both are right in town, a ten minute drive at most to reach either of you. I may not be the best with handling kids, but it’ll all be okay,” Wynonna assured the redhead calmly.

“Right... You’re right... It’ll all be fine,” Nicole mumbled to herself more than anything else, and she followed her words with a firm nod as if to confirm her own thoughts. “Well... I guess it’s time,” she let out a shaky breath and adjusted her jacket slightly before looking up at the older woman. “Good luck. And Wynonna... Thank you. Really, you’re a life saver.”

“Yeah well, someone’s gotta be around here,” Wynonna chuckled softly, and the auburn haired woman offered a small laugh in response before slowly turning and making her way out the door to the cruiser parked in front of her apartment. Up until that point, the brunette had been fairly confident in her abilities to manage a kid for a day, but when she heard the sound of the cruiser pulling out of the driveway, it really hit her that she would actually be alone trying to take care of a five year old she barely knew. The confidence she once had faltered ever so slightly, and suddenly Wynonna found herself doubting her abilities much more than she had when she agreed to the job.

* * *

Nora hated to admit it. She hated it, because in her opinion flower bouquets were a cheap, cliché, overrated attempt to buy someone’s attention and admiration. Flowers were nothing but plants, ones whose color would- If removed from their place in nature- Fade into nothing but pale tints of their former selves, while their leaves shriveled and their stems rotted into an unsightly molten brown.

It wasn’t that she hated flowers outright. She was a huge fan of nature- As far as not tampering with a living being’s natural cycle of life, admiring animals and plants in their natural habitats without human interference, using green energy to reduce her carbon footprint, saving/preserving water, and leaving behind only what was already in place before arrival. It made her feel almost guilty looking around the nearly empty floral shop, knowing that almost all the plants in the building not planted in pots of soil were dying at that moment- Not that she could see much more than shadows in sliver of early morning light that managed to escape through the rain.

Yes, she hated to admit it, because to her it was wrong in every sense of the word and she had agreed to help do it, but Nora was absolutely _phenomenal_  at arranging, designing, and creating flower bouquets. She’d only discovered her... Well, she wouldn’t even really call it a talent, especially since she disagreed with the practice in the first place. Her _skill_ \- If she had to give it a description- In having an eye for flowers at Ross’s funeral. She had insisted she be in charge of organizing the entire event to ensure it went only in accordance to what knew Ross would approve of for his own death. Little did she know this also left her in charge of things like the clothing Ross would be buried in, whether or not it would accommodate the presence of a religious leader to perform the ceremony, a maximum cut off for attendance, whether the casket would be open or closed, deciding if there would be refreshments and food served after or not, the music that would be played, dress requirements, and decorations.

Most of those arrangements were easy to make. The service took place four days after Ross had been killed. Closed casket, family and a few close friends that would be personally pre-approved, formal or casual- But appropriate- dress, food served at a dinner afterwards that was open to fans/friends in the area and the homeless or starving who were living on the street (Ross had always tried to donate to charity, so it only seemed fitting that his last act be one of kindness towards those who had nothing), and nearly everything else Artie had helped decide.

However, she was left with total control over decor, and had decided on a whim that the flower arrangements be mixtures of white veronicastrum, light pink and white hellborne (The nonpoisonous ones), and burgundy dahlia, which made for an atmosphere that portrayed both Ross’s playful, innocent nature, and the deep, emotional side of his personality that he kept hidden to all but a select few. It was this that helped her decide that even if it wasn’t the most ideal choice of careers, she would at least be able to make herself useful working in Purgatory’s local florist that she had seen a help wanted sign for in the window. She’d gone in for an interview before she even knew if Nicole would let her stay, just out of wishful thinking, knowing that if she was given the opportunity, she was going to have to help with rent payments, groceries, and other various expenses.

“Excuse me miss? Could I have these wrapped please?”

The sound of an inquiring voice broke Nora from her thoughts, and she snapped her head up to make out an older woman in front of the counter, clutching onto a small bouquet of pink roses, white succulents, and lilac blossoms.

“Oh, yes, sorry! Of course I’ll wrap them, one moment please,” Nora quickly reached down below the countertop to pull out several sheets of light violet tissue paper to match the lilacs, and carefully wrapped the flowers into a neatly arranged bouquet with a ribbon around the middle. Her eyes were stinging from being so close to so many flowers at once, but she managed to make due regardless.

She was allergic to pollen- Had been since she was a kid- And the only thing keeping her from sneezing until her nose began to bleed was the pair of nasal plugs she kept in her car. She’d bought a pair not long after she and Ross first left home, worried that her allergies would affect her ability to perform in the spring, but luckily the brand she’d purchased were small and discreet enough that unless someone knew to look for them and actually tried to do so, they weren’t noticeably visible. Even better- They left enough room in the cavities of her nose that they only minimally affected her speaking voice, and even less her singing capabilities.

As the woman gratefully took the flowers and approached the counter near the doorway where her boss worked the cash register, Nora’s eyes wandered mindlessly throughout the tiny shop. Her nose itched from the material of her nasal plugs, but it was better than being a snotty, sneezing monstrosity that couldn’t function. She let her gaze wander to the streets just outside of the shop, currently being drenched in another heavy coat of rain. Nicole had said Purgatory whether wasn’t typically sunshine and rainbows, but the amount of rain she had already seen for one area was still more than she’d expected.

Nevertheless, the rain gave Nora an opportunity to explore within her own mind, and she figured her scattered thoughts were likely in need of some organization. If she strained her eyes, she could just see the top few feet of the Purgatory Sheriff’s department where her sister was currently readjusting back into her job. She hoped Nicole was actually letting herself fall back into place, allowing her guard to be let down once again. Whatever she was doing, Nora only hoped it was more productive than this.

* * *

Wynonna honestly couldn’t have said when Konnor woke up. Nicole had told her the night before not to worry about a specific time to wake him herself- The five year old had grown used to an environment where there was no set bedtime and no forced rouse from his slumber, so he typically woke up on his own whenever he seemingly deemed fit. No one ever bothered to wake him earlier than necessary because the band normally didn’t play before roughly 4:00 (It was never a set rule, just a coincidence that seemed to occur because no one interested in booking them had crowds to please that prematurely in the day) and it was common for the van not to pull into any sort of inn or motel until the early hours of twilight.

For the world Konnor had grown up in, this schedule had worked for all three of his collective guardians. They didn’t follow any set routine, so the general consensus was that there was little to no point in trying to establish one that would likely never be followed anyway.

For Wynonna, however, in sweatpants under a blanket on a living room couch scrolling through Nicole’s Netflix for something of interest to watch, it didn’t work as well, especially when the unsuspecting brunette woman felt a small hand on her shoulder and she jumped backwards on the couch, unaware that Konnor was even awake, let alone in the room with her.

“Jesus kid, you scared me,” she huffed out, reaching up to fix her hair a bit and trying to soften her expression so as not to frighten or upset the five year old in front of her. “Uh, I didn’t know you were up already,” she glanced at the digital clock on the small table next to the couch that only provided a space for a lamp to go, and was surprised to read 7:46 A.M. Not only had more time passes than she’d been aware of, but it was also seemingly a bit early for a little kid to be up at such an hour.

“Auntie Nicole said she and Auntie Nora had to work today. Are you Wynonna?” he asked, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly and either ignoring the fact that he’d startled his babysitter for the day, or already having forgotten about it.

“Uh, yeah, yeah I am bud. I’m here to watch you for the day while your aunts are at work,” she explained, settling back down on the couch, but now in a seated position rather than with her legs sprawled out beneath her.

“Don’t you have to work to?” the brunette almost chuckled at the remark. Did she have to? Well technically, yes and no, because it was her business and she could open or close whenever she wanted, but at the same time if nobody was working than she was quite sure she’d have a list of angry patrons waiting for her the next day in demand of an explanation, which she wouldn’t give them anyways, but would be annoying nonetheless.

“Haha, uh... Well, my sister is working for me today, so I’m free to stay here with you,” Wynonna decided that was the best phrasing she could use with a five year old. In any case, it was better than blurting out “My sister is younger and hotter than I am so she brings in more business, even though she clearly hates that kind of attention and I’m terrible for letting it happen, but I can’t talk to her about it because she would just say she doesn’t mind and lie about it because she knows how badly we need the money.” Yeah, her actual wording of the sentence was WAY better. “So, um... Are you hungry? Do you normally eat breakfast?”

“Sometimes. Daddy sometimes took us to get pancakes and waffles for breakfast, but sometimes he was tired and we didn’t go,” Konnor explained, absentmindedly making his way over to the cushioned chair across the living room where his tablet was plugged in and charging, presumably from the night before. His response didn’t at all answer Wynonna’a question, but she was unsure as to how familiar Konnor was with the situation he was currently in, and how much he knew about what happened to his parents.

“Well... I don’t know about pancakes, but I’m pretty sure your Auntie Nicole has cereal. Do you want some?” she asked after a moment of thinking back to her memory of the kitchen. Konnor looked up from his tablet, seemed to thoughtfully ponder the option for a few moments, then nodded vigorously and returned to his game. Wynonna had little-to-no experience when it came to caring for children, but even though it was early, she felt a bit more at ease at the thought that Konnor was a relatively easy-going, independent child. She supposed that made sense, giving his upbringing prior to arriving in Purgatory.

Living a life where the only family he’d ever known spent most of their time playing music as a job and driving around to random areas across Canada and the USA, she figured there wouldn’t be much time to develop an attitude or a temper. Konnor was allowed to do whatever he pleased, given that it was appropriate, safe, and reasonable, and yet he didn’t appear to be spoiled. Instead, he presented himself as simple, someone with few needs he couldn’t fulfill himself and none that were unattainable.

As Wynonna set a small bowl of cereal on the table beside Konnor’s chair, she let herself relax a bit as she slid back down on her spot on the couch. If this was how the rest of the day was going to go, it was nothing but smooth sailing from then on.

* * *

So, it turned out that Wynonna was wrong about the sailing being so smooth after all. Not smooth. Not smooth at _all_. In fact, there was no sailing. No, this was being seasick on an ancient boat from 400 BC. And the boat was made of rotting wood that was falling off the ship like paper because the nails in the wood had been rusted away into nothing. And the boat was caught in the middle of a massive hurricane, with massive 30 foot waves and winds in every direction and so much rain that you’d almost think the boat was sinking. Maybe it was sinking.

Either way, Wynonna’s smooth sailing adventure had quickly turned into something much more horrific that she was completely unprepared to deal with in any way, and she struggled to not start panicking. Konnor was currently wrapped up in her arms, his small body writhing and squirming in an attempt to escape her grasp as he sobbed heavily into her shoulder. His eyes were bloodshot and his eyelashes were sticking together with tears, many of which were making their way down his flushed cheeks.

The day hadn’t all been like this. After breakfast, Konnor had shown Wynonna how to play a board game she still didn’t remember the name of, but she’d enjoyed herself nonetheless. She let him choose through different TV channels until he found a cartoon he enjoyed, and she made him a sandwich for lunch that he ate while watching. Eventually, he complained that he was tired, so Wynonna had rationalized that the best place for him would be Nicole’s room, at least for a day. And once he’d fallen asleep beneath the mountain of blankets, she hadn’t heard a single sound from him. Until now.

The worst part of it was his breathing. Short, shallow, ineffective breaths that failed to get even remotely enough oxygen into his lungs to counterbalance his hyperventilating. It appeared as though he was trying to push Wynonna away from him, but at the same time his small fists clutched desperately to her shirt and he kept his face pressed firmly into her shoulder.

“Daddy!”

It was the only word Wynonna could make out amidst the choked back sobs and the wheezing for breath, but it was the only one she needed to hear to understand. She couldn’t deny that she was a bit surprised when in the middle of a Family Guy rerun the episode was interrupted by the sound of muffled crying down the hall, and even more so when she discovered why Konnor was upset. He’d been asleep for about an hour and it was nearly 4:00 P.M, with the rain giving no sign of letting up anytime soon, when the sound had snapped the older woman out of TV mode.

She wasn’t sure if Konnor simply had a dream about his dad or if there was something about waking up alone that had reminded him of the absent presence in his life- She wasn’t even sure which of his two father’s that he had been referring to, though it could easily have been both- But nonetheless she did her best to hold him close and tried to offer some comfort in the form of physical contact.

Though it wasn’t a memory she was fond of, this was a familiar situation for Wynonna. She could remember clearly the night Waverly broke down in her arms crying for their own dad, just a few weeks after his suicide. The tears, the sobs, the screams... None of it was new. Except now, it wasn’t her sister, it was a boy she barely knew. And yet, one she couldn’t help but love. One she couldn’t bear to see in such miserable pain. One who she had somehow grown fond enough of that if it would help heal his broken innocence, she wouldn’t have cared if she had to hold him for the rest of the day.

Waverly had suggested that she try therapy, and see if just talking everything out with a stranger who didn’t have any influence on the situation might help her let go of some of her scars, but honestly living without her haunting memories and her battle wounds seemed scarier than dealing with them. At least with all the pain she had been struggling with over the years, she knew who she was. Wynonna Earp, afraid of nothing and no one. Feels nothing. Can’t be broken down. But without all that? Was she even a person at all underneath? Did she even exist without a sad story to tell?

“Why did my daddy leave?” Konnor’s voice was so soft that if he weren’t currently in the secure hold of Wynonna’s arms, she was doubtful she’d have heard him say anything at all. The question broke her heart, and she struggled to find an appropriate answer.

“Sweetie... I don’t know why, I really don’t,” she finally sighed, unsure of what good it would do to try and lie to him.

“But... You’re a grownup! Don’t grownups know everything?” it was only in that moment that Wynonna could really see that Konnor truly was just a kid. A five year old boy who should know nothing about death and losing parents, especially at such a young age. He was scared. He was confused. He was in pain. And he couldn’t even seek comfort from the two people he wanted most.

“Well... Not always,” carefully, the brunette woman sat down on the bed with the small ginger haired boy in her arms. “Sometimes... Sometimes grownups do things that other grownups don’t understand. I wish I could tell you why, but I just don’t know,” she sighed quietly, reaching up and wiping away a stray tear on Konnor’s face. His lip quivered, and she bit down on her tongue to hold back a whimper. “But, I do know that your Auntie Nora and Nicole love you a whole bunch. And they aren’t going to leave, ever,” she continued with a sliver of hopefulness to her voice. Whether Konnor bought that or not remained unclear, but instead of responding, he curled into Wynonna’s body and let his eyes slide closed once more.

“You promise they won’t leave?” the question was so faint the older woman scarcely believed she’d actually heard it.

“Yes Konnor. I promise,” she tried to make sure her voice was firm, but there was clear doubt in her tone. Nora had left Nicole before, and she wasn’t sure she trusted the musician enough yet to believe she wouldn’t do it again. But, that wasn’t the time or the place to worry about anything like that. Konnor seemed satisfied believing that no one else was going to leave him, and who was Wynonna to make him question that? After all, he was just a kid. And hey, maybe she would end up being wrong after all. Maybe Nora would stay in Purgatory and she and Nicole would reconcile their lost bond.

Maybe everything would even get worked out between herself and Waverly, all the demons neither wanted to admit they were still holding on to. All the anger she knew that her sister was still harboring towards her for leaving. The pain she still saw in the younger girl’s eyes whenever she looked at her. The fear she still had that the bartender would again leave her in the dust.

When she was sure that the boy in her arms was asleep once more, Wynonna slowly laid him down beneath the covers, then pulled out her phone and typed in a quick search online. With shaking hands and an unsteady breath that came out in several short bursts, she selected a time the following week for an appointment with a therapy psychologist an hour outside of Purgatory. Then she shut her phone completely off, buried her face in her hands, and did her best not to cry.

 


End file.
